You ever have those moments where you realize you've been doing something the hardest way possible or for no reason at all? Like the dude in this article who ate oranges wrong his whole life? Yeah, that's a thing.
So, not everyone has a moment as bad as realizing you've eaten oranges all wrong or that you've been sorting your trash by color like Michael Scott from the Office? One Reddit user asked:
And yeah, I've seen the episode. I know the incredible disappointment. I was in those comments SO FAST - because everyone loves a good fail whale moment when it's not in their life. No need to hide it. I know my audience.
Here are some of the more popular and more face-palmy replies.
A New Stick
I spent probably the first 20 years of my deodorant wearing life struggling to get that little plastic cover thing off the top of a new stick of deodorant. I'd pry it off with my nails, even go so far as to use my teeth on a particularly stubborn one. Then at like age 32 (married with a child I was responsible for keeping alive) I realized all I needed to do was turn the dial on the bottom, extending the stick slightly, and the plastic cover thingy popped right off. I'm utterly ashamed to have just admitted that, but I feel such a weight off my chest. I am not a smart man.
What's My Password?Â
Not me but a buddy of mine - he wanted to check his bank balance from my computer one night so I said sure. So he loads up the bank website and tries typing in his password. At that point he notices that the password dialogue will only accept the first 6 characters. His password was 8 characters long. So he's like WTF? So I also use this bank and was like, dude, it has only ever let you do a max of 6 characters. He said no, he's always had an 8 character password for this bank site which he's used for years. So I said, why don't you try just typing in the first 6 characters of your password anyway and... it logged him in. So for years he was typing an 8 character password on this site, not realizing that it would stop at 6 every time. Now maybe because we'd had a few beers at this point but we had a good laugh over this one...
Six Gas Cans
Giphy
When I was 16 and had just learned how to drive I got distracted and ran out of gas about 2 miles up the road from the gas station. I called my best friend and she came and got me and we drove to the gas station to get a gas can and fill it to take it to the car. But all the gas cans only held 2 gallons each, and I had a 12 gallon tank! So *naturally,* we bought 6, filled them up, used them to fill up my car, and then handed out the remaining gas cans as gifts to family members. I will NEVER forget the look on my stepdad's face when I explained why I was giving him a gas can.
It didn't even occur to either of us that the function of the gas can was just to get you back to the gas station. I was on my way to the beach about an hour away, so I drove the whole way down there with 6 empty gas cans in my car. And never once thought to question my excellent decision. :)
That's Not How Internet Works
Not me, but years ago in one of my classes "Technology and Society" or something.
I watched the professor bring up Yahoo search, search for Google, click the link to go to Google search, and then type the exact URL of the website he wanted to go to into the search bar.
- Studlum
The Safety Evaluations
Bullshit paperwork. Apparently, I was the only person including an equipment checklist and safety evaluation in my post job paperwork packet for a whole fucking year before someone told me we didn't have to anymore. Corporate was just throwing those in the trash.
They'll shit their pants demanding certain things but just let you flap in the wind doing menial tasks if it is of no consequence to them.
15 Hours And Damaged Knees
I used to be a lighting technician in an office high rise. I swapped out all the florescent tubes on a floor for LED tubes. We're talking like 350 bulbs and 2 days work. I would go up the ladder, take off a lens, swap the bulb and then reach to do the same thing on another light (if the layout allowed it). Then come down, move the ladder and repeat, hell on my knees and a real pain in the ass. I managed to develop a grinding in my knee due to a condition I was unaware I had and ended up in physio because of this. On top of that. I had to keep the area spic and span in case someone wanted to look at the space to lease it, which meant I'd have to walk the cases of old bulbs to the area where I was to keep them and then take them to the recycling area when I got too many.
Anyways... I get the floor done and I am eating lunch with some of the office folk, someone asks where I have been because they haven't seen much of me, so I explain. The head of tenant construction stops me and says "Why the hell did they make you do that? We're tearing the walls out and changing the lighting layout." Apparently leasing knew all about this but my department manager neglected to check in with them before starting a retrofit on what they assumed was an empty floor.
Close to 15 hours of work and damaged knees, for nothing.
One Spoonful
Another guy's moment:
Worked in a kitchen and saw a guy scooping new, solid fryer oil into the cleaned, empty deep fryer with a spoon.
The block of oil was large and the process would take ages.
I grabbed the box of oil, flipped it over and placed it on top of the deep fryer, pulled off the cardboard and the plastic and walked away. The pilot light would melt the solid block, eventually, and it could be left unattended.
The look on that guy's face was priceless. He had been scooping it in, one spoonful at a time, for years.
It's A Fake
My wife has a notoriously black thumb, she cant even keep the weeds alive. So I bought her a nice plastic succulent arrangement for her desk rather than getting her a real plant. The other day she said to me "I'm so proud of myself, I've been watering that plant and moving it daily so it gets enough sun, and I've kept it alive for a year!" She was not pleased when I told her you don't need to water fake plants. Slept on the couch that night but I had a great laugh.
How To Eat An Orange
Giphy
About two years ago I was having breakfast with my landlady and her son (I used to work with him), and she gave me an orange. I started eating it the same way I've been eating oranges for my entire life (I was 25 years old at the time), but I couldn't help but feel like something was wrong.
I kept catching them looking at me out of the corners of their eyes as we talked and ate. It really messed with my head and made me think that there was something wrong with me. They kept sneakily looking at me, then at my orange, then at each other, then back at me, and when our eyes would meet they would quickly look away. "What are they looking at?!" I thought. "What am I doing wrong?!"
I figured it had to do with the orange, so... after breakfast I went home and tried to look up "how to eat an orange." Man oh man...
Apparently the flesh of an orange is edible?!
I had always thought that only the juice was edible, and the flesh and skin were not, so for YEARS, for my ENTIRE LIFE, I would get an orange slice, chew it until I'd squeezed all the juice out of it, and then spit it out and place it on a napkin before moving on to the next slice. I "ate" oranges like pieces of gum. Chew until flavorless, spit out, repeat. Like chewing tobacco!
To this day I am still so embarrassed by the fact that these people were looking at me create this disgusting tower of chewed up, spit out, mushy orange flesh on their dining room table, and they must've found my behavior to be so odd and unsettling that they just couldn't bring themselves to say anything!
- rubcar91
The Neighbor Is Dead
I used to pick up my elderly neighbors mail from the lobby in our apartment block every day and post it into her flat for 3 years. Turns out she died 6 months after we moved in.
- mattkem8
Go ahead, share your shame. What's your worst "all for nothing" moment?
Compromise is important in a relationship. Everybody has to do it. But there are just some traits or actions that a big no-go when it comes to compromise. And you shouldn't feel bad about it.
Sorry
Sorry I Love Lucy GIF by Paramount+Giphy"Not being able to apologize. Everybody makes mistakes, doesn't matter. Own up to it and I respect you even more. Seek excuses? Bye!"
Own It!
"No accountability. In fact, having absolutely no sense of accountability for their actions. Believe me it is more common than you think."
"My ex was just like this- I found myself apologizing for her mistakes, and she expected me to grovel when I made any minor error. And the gaslighting, mind games and guilt trips... holy crap. When I called her out, I was "lecturing her." I thank my lucky stars that I had the sense to get out when I did."
Cheer Up!
"Complaining about everything."
"My ex too. It was unbelievably draining. I could handle it most of the time, but the worst was when in a situation where everyone is miserable (e.g. getting stuck outside in the rain). It's like, hey, everyone here is having a bad time right now, but by complaining constantly you're just dumping more misery on top of it for everyone."
The Menu
"Kind of a subset of this for me is being a picky eater. I dated a girls for over two years who ate nothing but macaroni and cheese and chicken tenders. Never freaking again. I've broken it off with two otherwise very nice and attractive girls over this. I'm not spending my life restricted to restaurants that sell chicken tenders and having to grocery shop for two different dinners every single night."
- username deleted
Fibs...
Lying Simon Rex GIF by Simon Rex / Dirt NastyGiphy"Lying, saying stuff about you behind your back, being mean to people for no reason, being fake."
Ladies, ladies, ladies... listen up. Now don't think men aren't just as culpable.
Failed
fail black and white GIFGiphy"No "test" behaviour. Be straightforward or I'll assume you're likely to instigate dumb crap drama. Honesty for honesty."
"red flag"
"Doesn't let you have time to yourself/ heir entire life revolves around you to the point that they suffocate you."
- jalo12
"To add on - if a partner is controlling of your relationships with friends and family, and generally won't let you exist as your own person, "red flag" is understating it. You should be able to at least occasionally do things without your partner."
"You should be able to have private spaces and private thoughts. You should be able to maintain existing relationships and create new ones. I dated someone once who was insistent as to how I slept, and didn't like it if I tried to get into a more comfortable position. Surprise surprise, also came with a side of emotional abuse and manipulation."
- Kradget
Basics
"Zero effort put into simple maintenance actions. Simply picking up after yourself is deferred repeatedly when it can be done and over in ten seconds. Inflexible mind, or unwilling to learn new things or see other perspectives. Seeing the fault in others, but inability to perceive such in themselves."
Counting Ability
"If they are terrible with finances."
"Money is cited in the top 3 reasons for divorce, always. And money affects every facet of life. My BIL married a gal who was always a next thing away from getting her financial sh*t together. Anyway, he's living with us now, after his 2-year marriage ended, because, it turns out, people who are bad with money and have no real interest in saving, likely will not change."
- abqkat
try to be fun...
John C Mcginley Reaction GIFGiphy"No sense of humor. Either a lack of sense of humor or incompatible sense of humor. I want to be able to laugh at the same stuff together."
It's not hard to be yourself in a relationship. In a potential love match, you should be as much yourself as possible. So stay honest and own up to your flaws and your partner will do the same. And if not, you can write a thread about the men.
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"Who would you consider as the most badd@ss person in history?"
These heroes made their mark in history for their fearless humanitarian efforts.
The Resistance Leader
"Witold pilecki - A polish resistance fighter who voluntarily went to auschwitz to get intel on what was happening and then proceeded to escape, survived the war and was later executed by the USSR."
– treatyofparis1
The Espionage Expert
"Nancy Wake. So skillled as she was, she was nicknamed 'The White Mouse' by the Gestapo due to her elusiveness in avoiding capture. Highly talented in espionage, she worked as a spy for the French Resistance and the Special Operations Executive to take down the Nazis. One of the more highly decorated women from WW2, yet not well known."
"God's Rambo"
"Helge Meyer, also known as 'God's Rambo'. A danish special forces officer who bought a 1972 Camaro and turned it into an uparmored beast so he could deliver humanitarian aid in war torn Yugoslavia during the civil war and ethnic cleansing."
– FloridianCaesar
Seen As A Traitor
"Definitely Major Hugh Thompson. I'm sure there are people who have done similarly brave things, but not that I know about. In 1968, Thompson managed to stop the My Lai massacre almost single handedly. He arrived after many civilians had already been killed, and couldn't understand how they had died."
"After realising his fellow American soldiers were firing on unarmed civilians, he landed his helicopter between the Vietnamese and the soldiers. He then told the troops that if they continued to do what they were doing, he and his crew would open fire on them. After getting back to base, he filed a complaint about what he had witnessed. His complaint was covered up, and he was shunned as a traitor. It wasn't until 1998 that the army acknowledged he did the right thing."
"It's common to be brave in war when you know that you'll be lauded as a hero - it's another thing entirely to do it knowing you'll be seen as a traitor. He turned against his troops and country to protect innocent lives, despite what it would cost him, and I think that's about as brave as you can get."
– hellebellet
The Brave WWII Combat Medic
"Desmond Doss. An army medic in WWII who was constantly belittled and abused by his battalion and superiors for refusing to use a weapon as it went against his beliefs. Then, when he landed in Okinawa and more than half of his battalion were shredded by Japanese machine gun fire, Desmond Doss crawled through the dirt over the course of several days to as many of his injured allies as he could and dragged them all the way back to the 40ft cliff they had scaled up from, then lowered them to safety. Some of these injured men were lying 15ft from the enemy machine gun itself, and all the while Doss wore his medic helmet, which stood out like a giant bullseye on a battlefield where the Japanese soldiers were ordered to kill doctors first to crush morale. In the end he had saved the lives of 75 men, and survived with an arm fracture from a sniper round and several pieces of shrapnel embedded in his body from when he tried to kick a grenade away from him and his men. He is the only soldier without a gun to be awarded the Medal of Honor."
– -CorrectOpinion-
"The Québécois Rambo"
"Canadian Rambo AKA Leo Major. Dude liberated an entire town in the Netherlands by himself while injured in WW2."
– Matt_Thunderc*ck
These fierce warriors had their backs up against the wall but proved to be unstoppable.
Was Awarded The Conspicuous Gallantry Cross
"Dipprasad Pun the Gurkha who took out 15-30 Taliban singlehandedly when surrounded."
– Bovineguru
Fought Without Hands
"Galvarino. He was a fierce Mapuche warrior that had both of his hands chopped off as punishment when captured by the Spanish during the Arauco war. Rather than slaughter Galvarino, the Spanish sent him back to the Mapuche to send a message, but instead of causing the Mapuche to surrender, it had the opposite effect. Galvarino decided to have two knives lashed to the stumps where his hands used to be. He learned to fight without hands while using the knives as weapons. Less than a month later, Galvarino fought with the Mapuche against the Spanish again. Around 3,000 Mapuche warriors engaged 1,500 of the Spanish on Nov. 30, 1557. at the Battle of Millarapue. Although they didn't win, Galvarino killed several of the Spanish before the army of 3,000 were all killed."
– Icy_Layer
These bada**es did anything it took to survive.
An Impressive Resume
"Peter Freuchen. He was a Danish explorer, journalist, author and anthropologist. He is widely known for his exploration of the arctic circle and discovery of vast areas of Greenland. He was an indigenous rights activist, having married an Inuit woman. He escaped a death warrant issued by the Third Reich for punching Nazis. Received an academy award for the best motion picture in 1933. Won the $64,000 question as a contestant on the game show. He wrestled a polar bear and won. And as if this all wasn't enough, he escaped a near-death encounter in a blizzard by fashioning a spade out of his own frozen feces."
– SpaceMonkeyXLII
Plane Crash Survivor
"That teenage girl that was the sole survivor of a plane crash and made her way through the Amazon…. She's definitely up there!"
– smokeandlavender
I would personally add Bruce Lee to the list.
I grew up Japanese-American, but I was often made fun of for my "slanted eyes" and was called "Chink" – an incredibly racist slur referring to people of Chinese descent – even though I'm not Chinese.
Being called Bruce Lee was a common occurrence throughout grade school, and because of the context under which I was being ridiculed, I loathed being associated with the martial arts legend and cultural icon.
But I should have embraced it because he was the epitome of a bad@ss.
The guy who inspired the Tekken character, Marshall Law, was a physical marvel – one who was capable of doing one-handed, two-fingered pushups and playing ping pong with nunchucks. He was also a cha-cha champion.
When it came to teaching, he was one of the pioneers in establishing inclusivity in martial arts and taught students from all walks of life.
Paper. Pens. A computer and a job that consists of using all three. It may not sound like much, buy it's far less stressful than retail. I often overlook that fact. I try not to though. God bless customer service people.
binge grocery shopping GIFmIracles...
"Hot showers.... Holy crap, I was homeless for a year and a half, and there was a time I blew $50 on a motel room specifically to take a hot shower. I remember pulling off my cold wet socks and just collapsing into the hot water, sobbing. Felt like all my problems went away immediately."
- reduxde
Space Place
"Having your own room/space. A lot of people and specially families around the world has to share living spaces. There was a thread on Reddit recently where a family couldn't give their teenage daughter a room of her own cause their house only had two rooms and they were poor."
"Everyone said the parent was a butthole cause the teen had a right to it and they should move to a bigger house/outside their area to amend that. Crap was freaking insane."
Basics
"Just having dependable, safe hot and cold running water on demand."
"This. I just got quite the rude awakening 30 minutes ago when my landlord texted asking me to severely limit my already very limited water use because the well that supplies our water is almost dry. I live in rural Canada where there's a drought and while I knew it was bad, my privileged self never thought we might actually run out of water before it rains next. Jokes on me I guess."
Money Issues
sleeping beauty parody GIFGiphy"Being able to quit a job without fear of losing financial stability."
And here we are all trying to be Kardashians. When tons of people just want stability regarding food and jobs. I don't know what is more sad, that fact or that we live in a world where facts like that exist.
Shhhh....
secret smell GIFGiphy"Being able to enjoy total silence. (Freaking tinnitus)"
- Ozzel
For real. Mine started when I was 18 and I then realised how much I took everything being completely quiet for granted before that. I wish I could get it back."
No Net
"Having your parents to fall back onto for help or advice during adulthood. I've been estranged since I've been 16, life ain't easy navigating the world alone."
"I hear ya. I was emancipated when I was a teen. I am grateful for the mentors and chosen family who supported me through to this point (I'm almost 30) but I wish that I had the solid nurture, example, and support that I truly needed growing up. I probably wouldn't have needed to spend so much money on therapy after high school."
- casteela
Sifting Filth
"Sewers. A literal city of tunnels you never see, draining and moving water in and out of your town/city, completely hidden from view. It's a freakin' luxury and you'd be surprised how much of the world doesn't have that while the rest of the world never even thinks about it."
Health
"Decent mental health. While some people seem to breeze through their life goals, a lot of people suffer in ways that prevent them or slow them down. It's a privilege to have most of your emotional needs met and have the stability needed to focus on developing your artistry/skills."
Knowledge is Power
Happy School GIFGiphy"Going to school."
The basics of life and survival shouldn't be considered luxuries. We really have a lot of society fixing ahead of us. Be grateful for every meal, and good slumber.
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