Here's a little tip from my friends in IT: The majority of your problems can be solved just by turning your device off and turning it on again. But what about those other times? You know the ones I refer to: The ones where that wacko idea, the one right out of left field, actually yields results?
After Redditor Group_of_no_one asked the online community, "What's your 'HOLY S*** WORKS!' moment?" people recalled the times their random bursts of ingenuity paid off miraculously. Others described the moment they finally found their groove after taking up a new hobby or successfully followed a new tip or trick, and it's a marvel to see!
"When learning guitar..."
When learning guitar: The first time my left hand made a chord automatically via muscle memory rather than consciously putting each finger into place. It's like a tiny miracle.
"Had never managed..."
Poaching an egg in a microwave.
Had never managed to poach an egg; always ended up with egg-drop soup, which isn't what you want for breakfast. A Redditor mentioned the microwave method - break the egg into a small bowl of water, microwave for 45 seconds - and gave it a go.
And it bloody well worked, no muss no fuss. That was a proud breakfast.
"As a programmer..."
As a programmer/developer, every time a piece of code runs first time, no compile error, no seg fault or "object not set to instance" bugs, just straight up works first time.
Until the paranoia sets in and you remember to not trust any code that runs first time.
"I seriously couldn't believe..."
I work on cell towers for a living and most of the time my crew is in some pretty fuckin REMOTE areas. Truck battery died one day and it's about 8pm getting real dark when we get the bright idea to jump start the diesel truck with a 18v Milwaukee drill battery.
So we cut the jumper cables in half and spliced some lugs onto the end, shoved them into the thin slots on the battery, (make sure you know which is positive and which is negative or you'll burn the battery.) connected the still intact jumper cable end to the truck and it fired up instantly. No need to wait or anything, in fact waiting will just drain the drill battery and not charge the truck battery.
I seriously couldn't believe it worked. Half my brain was telling me that it's stupid but I worked as an electrician apprentice for two years so the other half of my brain was like "well theoretically it should work..."
"One day I finally snapped..."
Asking my boss for a day off.
I grew up in a hardcore traditional Asian household. Pain and sickness is all in the mind. Suck it up, education is more important than recovering. There's no such thing as overworking or getting tired if there are people more successful than you. That kind of thing.
In college I worked myself half to death, clocking in well over 50 hours per week on top of classes and internships. Between supporting myself and school, my compromise was to just focus on both and not care about my health let alone my severe sleep deprivation.
One day I finally snapped and wanted to call off work 5 minutes before a long day shift. I wrote the most polite, scared text that may as well have been a UN speech in the humanitarian counsel. For the first time, someone superior to me acknowledged that my health is important, that it's ok to take care of myself, and to take a break. (Ofc I didn't make a habit of calling off on short notice, but yea I never thought personal wellness would be an acceptable reason to take a break).
"Figuring I had nothing to lose..."
Back in the day, my brother left a 5.25" floppy disk in his car, and the sun warped it to the point that we couldn't use it when we needed to reinstall the program on it.
Figuring I had nothing to lose, I carefully cut open a spare floppy disk and transferred the storage media from the warped one into the good one. I popped it into the drive, and we were able to copy the files off of it onto a new blank disk. It was such a long shot, I was excited when it worked.
"I have a big record and CD collection..."
When I bought a 6-in-1 music centre last year, that could play vinyl records, CDs, cassettes, FM radio, and Bluetooth. I have a big record and CD collection but no cassettes, so for a while the cassette player lay dormant. When I moved back in temporarily with my parents I moved in my music centre. I found some old mixtapes my mum recorded in the early 90s of her favourite tracks. I decided to pop the tape into the cassette player and it worked! It was the first time my parents got to listen to those tapes in 20 years.
"The moment I saw..."
Making hand pulled noddles. The moment I saw how stretchy the dough was, I was left speechless.
"After years of being obese..."
Diet and exercise.
After years of being obese and thinking that I was simply always going to be fat I went "all in for a 3 week period" - drinking nothing but water, counting every calorie, eating at a deficit, and exercising daily without fail. I got on the scale after day 20 and saw that I'd lost well over 10 pounds!
Blew my mind.
I went on to lose over 100.
"So my kids and I..."
I was a single mom one cold winter and there was a huge cold snap. The water pipe in my garage burst late one Friday, spraying water all over, where it started to freeze. I called all the plumbers in the valley but they were busy with pipes popping all over town, would have charged a weekend surcharge, and anyway "couldn't come out till Monday."
So my kids and I figured out how to turn off the water supply to the house, and I replaced the broken pipes at the hardware store for $1.35. I was so proud when I screwed it in and we turned on the water. Where's my supermom cape!
"Took the strip..."
Had a strip of LED lights. Was bored. Took the strip and improvised some electronics, drilling holes in places, using an old ethernet cable wires to connect the LED strips. I did not expect it to work and thought 3 hours down the drain. but then i switched it on.
"When I was in high school..."
When I was in high school I found a video that showed a combination that you could enter into a vending machine and get your money back. Me and my friend tried it on our campus vending machines the next day. We didn't get that much change, but when we used the code we would get something like 50 cents per vending machine.
I drove an 8 foot long, 5/8" grounding rod into the ground about 6 feet using nothing but a cup of water. I admit I had to use a hammer and pound it in the last 2 feet, but holy shit, I actually shoved it in 6 feet.
Basically you pour a some water on the ground then more or less jack off the rod (ie; pump it up and down) and the thing actually digs itself a hole in the ground. Add water as necessary.
"I always struggled..."
I always had trouble with eating. If I didn't eat pure protein, I wouldn't feel satisfied (I'm talking a steak, chicken breast, or something that was entirely protein, otherwise I'd be forced to consume a massive amount of food to feel full).
I always struggled with this problem until I started drinking diet sodas. Like diet pepsi, diet coke, things that didn't taste sweet or whatnot. These drinks completely replaced HALF of how much I ate, when I had one with my food.
So, I started replacing entire meals with just a bottle of diet soda, and as it turns out, after going to the doctor, salt has the same effect as protein on my metabolic system.
Also, caffine has no "wake-up" effects, but the opposite, a "go to sleep" effect instead.
"Just every time..."
Just every time you cook something new. You look at the ingredients and think there's no way it's going to be nice or there's no way you'll like it because you don't like 2 or 3 of the ingredients.
Recently made chicken Alfredo and I haaaate cream. I've eaten Alfredo and like it, but seeing myself add the cream I was thinking absolutely no way.
2 minutes later and it was delicious.
"I replaced a door..."
I replaced a door in my house and the manufacturer put a huge sticker right on the glass. It was the kind of sticker where you rip off little bits of papers as you try to get an edge on it.
Someone recommended using the OFF! brand aerosol bug spray. You spray it and let it soak into the paper/ adhesive and then use the edge of like a plastic scraper. I'll be damned if that didn't start coming right off leaving almost zero residue.
"So I put my ratchet on..."
Years ago, I needed to change the crank sensor on a 99 Grand Prix. Didn't have the right tools to get the damn pulley off. So I put my ratchet on, and used a small, metal fence post to jam it against the frame. Took out the fuel pump relay so the car wouldn't start, and turned the key. Popped loose with minimal effort. My nephew (been a mechanic his whole life) said I was an idiot, but as they say, if it works then it isn't stupid.
"When I got my dad's..."
When I got my dad's VHS to USB thing that he never used to work with capturing any composite source. It allowed me to stream GameCube, Wii, and Wii U titles without having to buy anything extra.
"Seeing my wife's..."
Seeing my wife's positive pregnancy test after months of trying.
Compiling and running a build on the first try.
"I'm much less lethargic..."
Not snoozing my alarm and getting up when it first rings. I'm much less lethargic throughout the day.
"I found an old key..."
I found an old key on the ground when I was about 10 years old. Just for nothing I kept it on a keychain in my pocket everywhere I went. I thought I was cool. Four years later I still had it on me. Me and a buddy were exploring a construction site. They was a full size loader on site. I climbed in, took that key, put it in the ignition and yep, she started right away. I got so scared I left the key, jumped off the thing (which was running but not moving at all) and ran. Never looked or went back.
"It was so beautiful..."
I used to have a comedy puppet webseries about outer space miscreants (think the young ones crossed with the muppet show) and one of the puppets needed to vomit. I spent a week building the vomiting apparatus and a couple hours making a couple gallons of vomit. The day we shot the scene I just sat back and watched the puppeteers work and the damn thing vomited. It was so beautiful I wept a little.
"It might very well..."
TV broke shortly after being laid off from construction. A week in we get antsy about watching Game of Thrones and I remember I have a projector! So we made a nest on the floor, got a sheet ready, got it all set up and...I don't have a long enough cord to reach the projector. Or rather, I don't have a m>f adapter for the white, red, yellow.
What happened next shocked me. Literally.
So I'm standing there like a fool wondering what I can do when my fiance turns on our old RCA DVD switch. Holds 5 discs but has no HDMI so the PS4 was a no-go. It also has 6 speakers attached which are wired around the room so I can't simply move it closer. So I'm holding the w/r/y for the projector in one hand and the ones for the RCA in the other and when the RCA is switched on I suddenly get a quick electric shock and it hits me: it's just an electrical current. An adapter just makes it so the two connect in a safe way.
The solution? Scotch tape the male w/r/y ends together. It was finnicky, you couldn't even look at it without the vibration of your eyes moving causing the connection to fail, but once I got the sweet spot we were watching Game of Thrones in our cozy nest of unemployment.
It might very well be my crowning achievement.
"When I first moved..."
When I first moved to this condo five years ago, I couldn't figure out why the hell I couldn't turn on the light above the oven or work the fan. It took me a good two or three months before I realized.
Holy hell. What's that light thing on the microwave? Sure enough.
Pressed it - and there was light.
"Quarter of a glass..."
Quarter of a glass of water in the microwave when heating cold pizza.
"I'm a video guy..."
I'm a video guy and I had to shoot a video outside. It was too far from the camera for a shotgun mic and too windy for my LAV mic...then I saw a video where you gaff-tape it to the inside of your shirt to get rid of the wind...
OMG IT WORKED!
"I had some..."
I had some hyper pigmentation on my face that made it look like I had a moustache. I really wanted to get rid of it so I bought a product for a couple of euros that supposedly would work. I didn't really think it would, but then it actually did. I was so surprised.
"Got into an accident..."
Got into an accident with my truck, nothing major, but after i started to rebuild it trying everything to pull out the smashed unibody until my neighbor suggested i use my engine hoist to pull up and out some of the crushed metal and it worked! You look at my truck now and you can't even tell it was in an accident.
"The sales peeps..."
I did IT support for an office. The sales peeps' printer stopped working and they asked me to look at it. I couldn't find anything wrong so I said "By the power of Jesus, I heal you!" and slapped the side of the printer. It started working again.
The sales peeps scowled at me and pushed me out of their office. (It was a bullpen style setup).
Installed a new dishwasher tonight and it just worked!
"Two days later..."
My ISP offered me $120 to update my old grandfathered account over to the current one. I guess it's a b!tch trying to maintain all these old legacy accounts. $120 free money was enough to get me to switch.
Two days later the changeover has happened and I call up tech support to set up my connection on the new system. We hit a roadblock halfway through set up as I get an error message for one particular setting. It turns out that, for that one setting, my modem's firmware blocks out the number range my ISP needs to use for the modem's own internal use. Effectively my modem can't be used on the new system. So what I thought was free money is now going to cost me money as buying another modem will be more than $120.
With nothing to lose, I google the issue. I find dozens of results discussing the problem. Every single one confirms that I'm screwed. I even find posts from the modem manufacturer stating that it's a known problem with my ISP and modem that can't be resolved. However, I did find a single YouTube video where someone had a similar problem and fixed it. As a Hail Mary I follow their solution and apply the changes.
I call my ISP again to ask them what modem I need to buy that will work with their system. While I'm on hold I reverse out the changes I just made to the modem in my last ditch attempt. I'm still on hold, so I decide to try going through the set up again.
For reasons beyond my comprehension, it works!!!
There's no logical reason why it should work, but it does and my internet connects. All I did was make several setting changes to the modem, then reversed those changes. One month later and my modem is still working flawlessly, but I'm afraid of making any other changes to it for fear of breaking what is magically working.
"It no longer..."
Using a toothpaste without SLS (Sodium Laurel Sulfate). Sometimes the L stands for Laryl or Laureth but the main thing remains.
This was posted on reddit as a way to stop incessant mouth ulcers. I thought, sure, why not.
Within a week, the ulcers were reduced to a fraction of what they once were. In a month, gone. Over the years since, I've had sporadic, minor ulcers. It no longer hurts to speak, to eat, to kiss!
For years as a kid I had put two and two together, about mouth ulcers and the frequency with which I did my teeth - but how do you even explain to your parents that brushing your teeth makes your mouth worse!? I couldn't, so suffered bad breath to have less ulcers. This bit of advice is a game changer. One random reddit comment in one of those "what's the best item you bought for under $10" threads.
Not only do I have a clean, pain free mouth, I also have the validation that younger me was not insane. Brushing my teeth with ordinary tooth paste WAS making my mouth worse.
"Not sure what future policing..."
Maybe right now, seeing the BLM movement take over the streets in the US and sympathy protests and self-analysis in many other countries. People of every colour walking together calling for change in the way their societies treat people of colour. The status quo is over. Not sure what future policing will look like but it won't be like it was a month ago. Yay people helping people!
"It had a screen on the front..."
Me and my friend made a tiny robot from an old toy. It had a screen on the front and we reprogrammed it to play music and to bop out and stuff. There was the few oh just check this works, but when we did a full check on it, it worked perfectly. Two days later it stopped but it was an achievement for sure.
Former roomie came to me with a frayed wire on a microphone, asked me to fix it. Told her "no promises" and started to strip everything down for soldering, sweated a little because the wires were much finer than things I'd worked with previously. Definitely felt like I f***ed it up, remember saying "this is probably a fire hazard" to her but it worked fine, and is still working. I was like "get the f**k outta here that actually worked?" Hahaha.
"I totally expected it..."
Building my PC for the first time. I was gonna have my brother build it since he built my first one and he basically told me "I'll do it but turning on your PC after you built it is one of the best feelings out there." So I did. I watched a YT video, and built it step by step and when it turned on I was so hyped it literally made my week haha.
I totally expected it to not to work or for it to explode or something but it was ready to go.
"People always think..."
Drinking a glass of water through a folded paper towel to get rid of hiccups. Works 85% of the time, I'd say. People always think I'm messing with them.
"I tried it..."
One time when I was at university I dropped my iPod touch as I was getting onto the bus. The screen totally smashed and I thought it would no longer work.
I tried it, and to my surprise it still did.
"And then it worked!"
Added a 2nd battery to an old Prius with this box that tricks the car into using it (not my work , an actual engineer made it lol). Took a couple months and I had no idea what I was doing. And then it worked!
"Every single time..."
Every single time I decide to live on the dangerous side and code an entire program without testing it.
"I got the machine..."
My first PC build.
I got the machine to turn on after about 2 hours of assembly, but it would immediately shut off again. Two hours later, after countless google searches, turns out I hooked up a part to the power supply incorrectly. Immediately fixed the issue.
That first boot was like opening the ark of the covenant for me. Still using it today.
Any engaged couple looks forward to the big day when after months of planning, they get to tie the knot and declare their love in front of family and friends.
What could possibly go wrong?
It turns out there are so many variables that can contribute to making the bride and groom's celebration a major matrimonial miss.
Curious to hear examples of weddings gone wrong, Redditor lolf**kno asked:
"Those who have been to a ruined wedding, what happened?"
Dramatic brawls and speeches plagued these weddings.
Catty Attendees And Booze
"Very beautiful wedding in a huge barn at this apple orchard. They must have spent a ton of money on the decorations and catering because it looked like something out of a magazine. The ceremony was great, the flower girl did her thing, the vows got everyone choked up. Everything seemed to be going well. Not even 15 minutes into the reception the mothers of the bride and groom getting into a full out brawl, hair pulling, red wine being thrown. Their sons jump in to defend their honor, chairs start being throw, tables are flipped, parents are grabbing children and running for their lives."
"The bride and groom are horrified and leave immediately and head back their honeymoon suite. My fiancé and I left after this as well but we heard from some other friends that most people ended up staying and getting wasted at the open bar on the bride and groom's dime. Apparently, the fight started because one of the groom's sister complimented the bride's grandmother's dress. The bride's mom thought she was being sarcastic and called her a b*tch, then the drama ensued. Mind you they had all been pregaming the wedding pretty hard."
Playing For The Drunk Uncle
"I played a wedding where as we started playing the set, everyone ran outside and nobody was to be seen for the rest of the night."
"I originally assumed it was because nobody liked us but the bride came in afterwards and said there was a huge fight involving multiple members of both families and everyone basically went home upset, injured or in a police van."
"We couldn't stop playing since we were payed and it was our job, and the only person watching was the drunk uncle dancing on his own asking for requests we didn't know."
Maid Of Honor Speech Goes Off The Rails
"Was a guest of friend of the bride, did not know anyone attending. Very expensive over the top place, several hundred guests of this very Italian wedding. Maid of honor grabs mic at the cocktail hour begins her speech, rambling, drunk. Quickly devolves to stating the recently deceased mother of the bride was against this wedding and that's basically what killed her. Plus Vinny will never give up sex workers. She is tackled by several people and dragged away."
"The happy couple is separated and divorced within a year."
This is what happens when bad luck crashes weddings.
Tumbling Into The Sunset
"I work at a golf course with a lot of history behind it. We do wedding venues inside the clubhouse and the actual ceremony is held outside by the historic water fountain and large pond."
"First problem was the weather. I live in the high desert and it was very warm. A solid 90 degrees that day and it was also pretty windy. So everyone's outside, no umbrellas, no ezups."
"The next problem, and probably the worst, was the golf cart incident. The bride and groom wanted to 'ride into the sunset' on one of our golf carts. Drive around a little bit on the golf course. To be fair, it is beautiful on the course during sunset. However the cart had somehow gotten a nail in the tire, tire went flat, battery on the cart went crazy and the cart ended up freaking out. It came to an complete stop from 15mph to zero. The wheels and mechanisms locked up, almost seizing. Both the bride and groom (fairly overweight mind you) both fell out and rolled over a few times. They were totally okay, just a few bruises and perhaps a bruised ego or two. So retrieving that cart was fun."
"And last but not least, the power inside the clubhouse went out to do the high winds. There was no after party available. Only the cake was cut, hardly any food was given out. Yeah, not a great day to cover for someone on your day off."
"I was not born yet, but my parents rented the observation deck on the Hancock building in Boston for their reception. Tallest building in the city, beautiful view. My dad pored over historic weather charts to figure out what day was statistically most likely to be nice out. Day of the wedding comes and of course, thick fog unlike anything they'd ever seen before. Couldn't see a thing out the windows of the room they had picked specifically for the view."
"Worked out well though, they were happily married for nearly 30 years before cancer took my dad's life a few years ago."
"There's one other funny anecdote from that wedding: The wedding was held in Kings Chapel, which is an incredibly historic church here in downtown Boston that's somewhat of a major tourist attraction. To close that on a weekend afternoon for a wedding, it turns out, was not very expensive. The tourists waiting outside to see the church didn't know that, though, and someone started the rumor that my parents were incredibly wealthy, maybe even Kennedys. As a result, there were tons of people taking photos of them when they left the ceremony. Not sure if any of them ever figured out that my parents were most certainly not rich or famous."
"I was best man at my sister in laws wedding (stepped in for the brother of the groom, that's another story entirely)."
"For a whole year of planning all the bride (SIL) wanted was a dove release while they said handwritten vows to each other. Very small, non denominational (most of the family are atheist anyway) wedding."
"Day arrives (early summer) and something is off with the bird handlers. They show up a bit late and are sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time comes to say their vows I help the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to what is to be the altar where the bride and groom are standing."
"Vows are just about wrapping up and the handler gives ME the signal to open the chest. I open it and see 20-30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE!!!! I immediately close it to try and limit who knows what happened. Too late. The look of horror on the bride's was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up but by the end of the reception the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on."
Tragic losses unfortunately befell leading up to or at a couple's nuptials.
The Wedding Guest Who Left Too Soon
"When I was 6 or 7 I went to a cousin's wedding. Everything was fabulous for little me, so much sugar everywhere, basically heaven. The reception was in a big community center that was reserved for the occasion. Went to the girls' bathroom, passing by the men's room to see my uncle on the floor. Went back to the main room to tell my dad my uncle was looking weird. Well, uncle had a stroke and had died."
"The bride spent the rest of the afternoon crying, and everyone except close family left."
"Bright side is the mariage is still going strong 20 years later, despite what happened that day."
A Terminal Diagnosis
"Leading up to my friends wedding his father had been battling cancer after a terminal diagnosis. And it was touch and go whether he would be well enough to attend the wedding, in the end he was too unwell to attend despite wishing that he could."
"Just as we got to the wedding reception my friend was informed that his father had just passed away. It was devastating."
"Happened to my classmate. He is successful middle level manager, divorced, about 35yo or so. Found a girl of his dreams but from a provincial poor town. The girl insisted to have the wedding in her town to show off her 'success.' The wedding is crashed by her old friends including male friends who are not that sophisticated and have some tense feelings towards the successful groom from the city. Somebody starts a fight in the middle of wedding, groom is trying to stop it and got stabbed in the back. Died right there. And he was my classmate."
An Unfortunate Trespassing
"The wedding was at a state park that's famous for its giant gorge/waterfall. I don't know whose idea this was, but someone suggested a photo overlooking this gorge and everybody was game. The wedding party went around a stone security barrier and the maid of honor literally fell off the cliff to her death. It was like 500+ feet."
With a lot riding on a wedding to go off without a hitch, the mounting pressure is one where something is surely to buckle.
And because wedding guests are usually inebriated and high on the buzz of celebration, they throw caution to the wind and make some choices they wouldn't make under normal circumstances.
People's ill-advised actions can have regretful consequences, but no one expects death to be an outcome.
Fortunately, the weddings I've attended or heard about from friends were not as catastrophic as the anecdotes mentioned above.
While the Redditors' stories are sorrowful, it gives me a sense of relief these devastating examples are rare occurrences.
Sometimes I think back to a teacher I had when I was a kid who demanded to know whether any of us were "raised in a barn" in response to crappy behavior. Namely littering. She hated littering. Can you blame her? It's a horrible habit and some people do it with no sense of shame. She dedicated much of her time to telling students to pick up after themselves and dispose of things properly. For that, I'm thankful.
But why didn't anyone else get the memo? The trash I see on the streets is obscene.
People had lots of thoughts to share after Redditor SneakyStriedker876 asked the online community,
"What seemingly uncivilized thing is commonplace in society?"
"We delight in the deaths of others as long as we feel it was justified. But when the reverse happens we act all high and mighty like we wouldn't engage in the same behavior."
"Slaughtering each other..."
"Slaughtering each other via warfare to solve political differences. It's standard policy worldwide."
Indeed it is. And it seems impossible to stop.
"Littering. Especially dropping cigarette butts on the ground/flicking them out the window.
The world is not your personal ashtray/garbage bin."
Every now and then I find new trash in my yard and I am constantly amazed by how nasty people can be.
"Mobbing someone because of their opinion or for a comment they made a long time ago, even if that time was yesterday."
"Xenophobia. The fact that racism and racial violence still exist is an indicator that we're still tribal primates in fancy clothes."
And it makes no sense! It's not based in reality. We are truly a tribal species.
"Shouting while arguing, refusing to listen to the opinions of others, basically the inability to debate and maintain proper communication."
"Letting people die..."
"Letting people die of curable conditions simply because they can't afford healthcare."
Probably the biggest reason why much of the Western world looks at the United States with shame in their eyes.
"Parents forcing their kids to hug family/friends despite the kid being uncomfortable doing it. They feel uncomfortable for a reason."
"During the holiday season..."
"During the holiday season, customers take products off of our online fulfillment carts. Y'all have legs. Get your own."
"Using phone speakers..."
"Using phone speakers in public. I don't care what you and your friend think about that restaurant, or how much that Spotify jam speaks to you. Nobody else wants to hear it."
We truly need to stop all of these, don't you think?
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
I love presents. I try to hide my enthusiasm, and I do my best to appease the greater public by saying "it's the thought that counts." But that is a WHOLE lie. I don't just love gifts, I love great gifts. And if you go rogue from my lists, please keep a receipt. It's just plain rude to divert from what the recipient has requested.
This thought process has emerged from experience. I have received some trash presents over the years and now I'm too old to pretend you just went crazy while shopping. Like... "do you even know me?!"
Redditor u/sulemannkhann wanted to hear all about the presents some of us have received that we prayed, came with a receipt, by asking:
What's the worst birthday gift you ever got?
Have we met? That is an actual question I asked a gift giver once. (Who shall rename nameless) Football tickets. FOOTBALL TICKETS?! Who? What? I can't.
Looks FamiliarBroad City Wow GIF by Comedy CentralGiphy
"My own scarf. Yes, that's right, my mother went into my room took my only scarf, wrapped it and gave it to me like it was a new scarf."
"Thought I was getting a bike for my 15th birthday but my foster parents announced that they were sending me to a group home after living with them for 11 years. Devastation! That place was a wake up call. More independence then at my foster home but those kids had it really really bad, 12 year old heroine addicts, abuse... what the entire hell! I hurried up, graduated from high school at 16 and got the hell out of that place. I turned out ok, work in the legal field, live in Las Vegas. I did forgive my foster parents before they died."
The Forgotten One
"My brother and I worked for a farmer one summer, and he paid us with a used car. At the end of the next year, my brother graduated high school, so my parents paid me out for my half of the car, and that was his graduation gift. I gave them all a big discount compared to what it was worth. So like $500 for my share of a $2500 car."
"2 years later, and I needed $50 for some graduation fees, so I borrowed it from my mom until I could get to the bank. (Before mobile banking and ATMs everywhere.) Later, when my mom is telling me they invited all their friends over for a 'graduation' party, I asked if they had gotten a gift for me. "Well I gave you fifty bucks."
"I paid it back the next day, and she didn't blink. The 'graduation party' was just my parents friends, who said congratulations to me, but it wasn't really for me. A few years later, my little sister graduated, she got a car. They bought a used car for her, and our other little sister got the same when she graduated. My parents are mostly nice, and I never felt like they singled me out at birthdays or anything. Just my graduation seemed like I turned invisible."
Office Party Fail
"HR complaint from two subordinates fighting over how to throw me a surprise birthday party."
"I've never worked in an office environment, but the stories I've heard of people being required to buy a cake for the whole office and to celebrate their birthday with their coworkers would be enough to keep me in blue collar work for life, were it not for the fact that I love being active and working with my hands and could never sit at a desk all day anyway."
Basicslaw school finals GIFGiphy
"My Asian mom's gift was "no extra Kumon homework after school homework" so my birthday gift was that I didn't get extra homework from her."
Regifting is trash behavior. Do better. I'd rather you just say I forgot. Or... I just don't care for that much. But regifting? No.
"Stomach flu and my first ever period, at the same time. I think it was my 13th birthday."
"Omg, exact same story for me. It was my 13th birthday and my family took us kids to visit our relatives in Subsaharan Africa for the first time. I was sick, jetlagged, overheated and riding down a bumpy road in a Jeep driven by my dad in the complete darkness. We had just eaten at a restaurant where I found a giant scarab beetle in the bottom of my soup bowl. I have flashbacks to this day."
"My grandparents have been gifting me (and my brother) the same set of three vice grips for almost 10 years. Collectively we have 60 vice grips. I don't know if they bought a pallet of them, or where they are coming from. GET A GRIP GRANDMA!"
"I had a friend who's father was famous for doing Christmas shopping at the last minute. One year she complained that she went downstairs on Christmas morning and found, sticking out of her stocking, a spatula. Her birthday was a few days after telling that story, so myself and her friends all decided to get together and get her spatulas for her birthday, as a gag gift."
"Well, when it was our birthdays she retaliated. Which lead to a counter-offensive. And soon a new tradition was formed. And guys, I have so many spatulas now. Everything from dollar store cheap plastic, to hand-carved spatulas, a golden spatula, and even a replica of the famous Malaysian fighting spatula."
"I've got seasonal spatulas. As in, today it's time to pack away the Christmas spatulas and bring out the heart-shaped Valentine's day ones, followed by the bunny-shaped Easter ones. We've also been passing around this clip from the Weird Al Yankovic movie UHF. "Spatula City, we sell spatulas, and that's all!"
Their ultimate whack-a-doo move...
"A pair of homemade custom pajamas. Only problem was that they weren't made yet. It was just the fabric and a promise to make them for me. I had to give the fabric back and I never got the pajamas."
"Nothing legal just at our wedding they gave us a card that basically said 'have some land.' When the dust settled I asked what they thought we would do with it, they said build a home. I said ok, gonna need legal ownership for like building a house. They said sure we will get right on that. Then they decide to sell out and retire and never mentioned our wedding 'gift' again."
Gross...Disgusted Steve Carell GIFGiphy
"My grandma got me a hairbrush with a plastic horse head handle. The horse head was all chipped up and there was hair in the brush."
"My Godfather sent me a Birthday card each year which said, he paid 100 bucks to a bank account which I was supposed to get, when 16yo. He then got into alcohol, used all the money and died."
Oh for God sake, why even bother giving anything at all? Lint rollers, used brushes, homemade pjs... y'all ever hear of a gift card? Just put five bucks on it and call it a day. You can't hide cheap, so stop trying.
I'm still on the fence about this whole extraterrestrial situation. I need more proof. Now I'm not naive enough to think that in this vast, endless universe only the human race exists. I just need proof, tangible, solid, didn't see it from my trailer through beer goggles proof.
I also need proof about the afterlife, another out there topic. Truth be told, I've never been that into this whole conversation. I've got enough daily problems on this planet, let alone worrying about making Will Smith's biggest hits into documentaries and not just popcorn/comedy space farce.
But let's compare thoughts...
Redditor u/ValencikHannibal197 wanted to discuss life beyond this planet, what do we really think? They asked:
What's the best theory on UFOs or aliens you've ever heard??
I definitely wouldn't turn down an excursion to AREA 51. I'd like to poke around and get a sense of the place. I've never personally been up close and face to face with a "non-Earther." Not sure I'd like to be...
TV Truthx files monkey pee GIF by The X-FilesGiphy
"UFOs/Aliens are a cover for all of the secret projects that the government is working on. Actually stole that from the X files."
"How human birth parallels alien abductions:
- Babies are taken from their home (womb)
- They still developing sight, so they see bright lights and grey figures.
- They hear an "alien" language they don't understand.
- They suddenly feel cold after leaving their womb.
- They are in a surgery room being poked with tons of instruments.
Long story short: some people suggest that abductions are just people who had memories of their birth."
In the Mind
"I just don't think anyone will ever see this. But I think that UFO's are the projection of our unconscious collective mind. Everything that exists in reality, also exists, in our immaterial mind. Is it possible that the insides of our mind are also just one drop in the ocean of consciousness... and together we create the material reality were in, simply by experiencing it in a real way, inside-out through our senses."
"My father was an aircraft mechanic and fabricator for test and spy aircraft for the USAF. He spent 75-85 working with test aircraft. He said that when they were going to do a test, that could possibly be seen by the public, they would make a betting pool on how many UFO reports local authorities and flight towers received."
Under the Seasci-fi ufo GIFGiphy
"I like the idea that some UFOs aren't machines. Instead they are some sort of Upper-Atmosphere Jellyfish. I found the issue of Fortean Times that had this article. Here's the cover: http://ft.gjovaag.com/q/images/a/ae/FT291.jpg"
Interesting. There are some ideas we can look into. None of it proof, but possibilities. There are certainly plenty of future film ideas.
"We are like that un contacted tribe and everyone agrees not to bother us."
"I've heard it explained from a channel (idk if you know what channeling is) kinda like this. First of all, we as a species tend to freak out, shoot first and ask questions later. Most humans would have a literal psychotic break. You have to believe in vibrational energy as it relates to our consciousness."
"The aliens (certain ones) are at such a higher level that it would be jarring for us to come in close contact with. We are slowly getting there but it's a process. Like 2012, end of the Mayan calendar, wasn't the end of the world it was the end of an energy cycle that we as the human race had never made it past before."
"Previous civilizations have been destroyed or destroyed themselves before they got this far. We passed a point where we are very unlike to destroy ourselves anymore. This doesn't mean we won't see some real bad hardships yet but we will keep progressing."
"train your eyes"Dancing GIFGiphy
"I was a firm believer in t em when I was in high school and kept googling theories and info in my spare time and during my study halls. They said their bodies were so lightweight or something that the reason why you can't see the evidence is that they disintegrate before hitting the ground."
"And then LOL it was so funny, some people would swear you could "train your eyes" to see rods... HhhahAHAHAHA. Like there were these experts. Video showed him walking around with a serious face, then pointing. And he's like, "that was one just there." "You can't see them, you have to be used to them... like me."
"I've spent many years immersed into hunting them finding them. That's why I can see them." And then one day China, who loves occult stuff, had like a lab that set up a nighttime camera to capture footage of rods at night... then realized they were normal bugs at overexposure. lol"
"The Dark Forest theory. Basically the theory that the reason we haven't made contact is because all the other civilized life in the universe/galaxy knows not to broadcast their location. They've learned that there's something awful or predatory lurking in the dark forest of our galaxy, and that it's better if they keep to themselves."
"That the universe is so vast that we haven't been discovered yet."
"This makes sense to me because traversing the distance to or from even our our stellar neighbors would require technology that is not known to us now or likely to be known by us anytime soon if it's even possible at all. To assume without evidence that aliens could possess this technology and have visited us does not meet my skeptical standards."
Back and Forthback to the future great scott GIFGiphy
"Time travel exists, and UFO sightings are actually future humans coming back to our time. That is why they are so discreet, and never openly make contact."
I hope time travel exists. Now that I'm onboard for. If aliens do exist... just come on out guys. We could probably use your help.