I once had nine cats in my apartment.
Yeah, that's a lot, but allow me a chance to explain.
A few years ago, I found a random cat on the street and took him home. He made himself comfortable immediately and I decided to keep him. Shortly after that, something similar happened with another cat... that I didn't realize was pregnant. She gave birth to seven healthy kittens a short while later. I spent a few exhausting weeks taking care of all those cats and it was truly a relief once they all found homes!
I loved it and they were super cute, but... NEVER AGAIN.
After Redditor ohmygodwhyaskmyself asked the online community, "What's your, 'Anyway, now I have a cat' story?" the cat owners of Reddit came out in full force.
"Someone from church..."
Someone from church came into our house and said, "We found this cat half frozen under our shed and we were hoping you'd take it"... We took it.
"Saw a stray cat..."
Saw a stray cat out in a shopping plaza and my parents told me, "If you can catch it, you can keep it." Anyways, now I have a cat and my parents have since learned to never say that to me again.
"My aunt moved into a new apartment..."
My aunt moved into a new apartment and heard meowing in the wall.
Anyway, now I have a cat.
"I was walking home..."
I was walking home after my evening shift. Heard a persistent mew and came across a tiny kitten frantically trying to get my attention. I follow her to find her siblings, one of whom had fallen in a drain, and the other who basically was looking on in what I would call shock for a kitten's expression.
Anyways, now I had three kittens who thought I was their mom.
"My other two cats..."
Heard meowing from my garage. Found a scruffy probable dump from the university a little ways away. He was friendly so I picked him up and knocked on the doors of a few neighbours who I didn't know well enough to see if he was theirs. Nope.
My other two cats, one was the dominant cat of the neighbourhood, who fought everything... didn't fight this guy. They just kinda hung out together. I'd never seen that before. My two boys hated every other cat they'd ever met. But not this one.
So that's how I ended up with another cat.
"My own cat woke me up..."
My own cat woke me up hissing and meowing and with a puffed tail, walking around the door. When I checked the garage there was another cat, half-dead. Clearly she took a beating and she was pregnant. Rushed to the vet - the litter was lost, but the mother survived. I told myself, "Eventually I'll find her a new owner." It was three years ago.
Anyway, now I have two cats.
"Went to Pet Smart for dog food..."
Went to Pet Smart for dog food. Walked by the cats, leaned over to talk to one of them and the clever bastard put his little paw through the cage bars and ever so gently pushed it on my cheek.
Anyway, now I have a cat.
"I was outside on my 3rd floor balcony..."
I was outside on my 3rd floor balcony smoking a cigarette at 6 a.m. A little kitten walked up the fire escape and said "meeeohh?" which I took as a "Good morning strange human." Then she walked around the balcony, smelled my hand I put out to her, then pawed open the cracked door and walked inside. She found the couch and curled up on it and slept for hours and never left. Anyway, that's how a cat broke into my house and adopted me.
She also ended up being pregnant. Five kittens. So anyway, I got even more cats. (Eventually adopted out four of them)
"Five years ago I saw a cat locked in the business center of my apartment building..."
Five years ago I saw a cat locked in the business center of my apartment building. Asked what it was doing there and the front desk said they found it outside but recognized it as a unit owner's cat, so they brought it in from the rain until they could get ahold of her but that they'd be putting it back outside if they couldn't get ahold of the owner soon. I said I'd watch her overnight until the owner replied, because I didn't want the poor cat going back into the rain.
Asked the front desk the next day if they had gotten ahold of the owner yet, and they said yes and she had her cat all along. The one currently in my apartment must have been a stray.
Anyway, the stray was cute and well behaved and now I have a cat.
"My grandma was moved..."
My grandma was moved into a dementia care facility and tried to smuggle her cat in with her in her purse but she got caught.
Anyway, now I have a cat.
"Saw a cat in the street..."
Saw a cat in the street and pet it and it followed me home, camped outside the house for three days and then sneaked in and has never left.
"Most of them shrank away..."
I had just gotten out of hospital and I wanted something that wouldn't leave me. Went to the shelter to look. Most of them shrank away from me or weren't interested but I wanted something clingy. She put her paw through the bars of her cage. And when I walked away to look at others her paw was still trying to pull me back when I looked round. I left the shelter with her less than an hour later. That was 9 years ago. Still love that I have a cat.
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Being an emergency responder is a high-stress job.
It's a career with long, laborious hours.
There is always a hint of danger. And death is always around the corner.
So we as a society could try to help these people out and not put ourselves in unnecessary danger.
These workers and the world already has enough trouble without my stupid.
"So... was she impressed?"Idiot Reaction GIFGiphy
Will they show?
God Only KnowsMarried At First Sight Lol GIF by LifetimeGiphy
Wow, people really need to get a grip. Of their minds.
"Sparky"on fire GIFGiphy
Dead in the living room...
Chew SlowlySnl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
If it's not a true emergency dial 311. Please.
I hated science classes.
As soon as I could I ran.
But it follows me.
Because science can be downright disturbing.
That's why I blocked out so many of the details.
"What's the scariest thing that science has proven real?"
As if knowledge isn't scary enough, let's her more...
Hello Terrypaint surgery GIF by gifnewsGiphy
"Some tumors have teeth, hair and even eyes."
Far Far Away
"How the brain is literally rewired and chemically altered by childhood neglect and abuse."
AwakeBill Murray Im Here GIF by Groundhog DayGiphy
"Prions, horrific and totally unpredictable."
Now I can never UNKNOW about prions. Perfect.
Days gone by...Aging Matt Damon GIFGiphy
"Gamma ray bursts. No warning, no escape, no defense, no survivors."
"Entropy. Time shall consume all things. Inevitable heat death of the universe."
Fade 2 SilentListen Scooby Doo GIF by MashedGiphy
"That hearing is the last sense to leave, when dying."
Well that is the antithesis of comfort. Life is so fun.
Ever since Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope opened on May 25, 1977, a devoted fanbase developed.
And that fanbase has opinions.
Lots and lots of opinions.
Redditor Ebo8000 wanted to know:
"What is your most controversial take on Star Wars?"
"LASERS LOCK DOORS. LASERS OPEN DOORS. LASERS KNOW WHAT YOU WANT THE DOOR TO DO."
"…you shoot the bloody door panel!"
"Why put the door control RIGHT NEXT to the door? Put the door control system in a breaker box."
"Shoot the breaker box, now the whole floor is closed until someone can figure out what happened."
"Almost look like those doors just exist as dramatic elements..."
"Not sure if controversial but they need to take the franchise and yeet it 200 years in the future."
Design Fail? No!
"The Death Stars weren't badly designed they were just badly managed."
"All in all it sounds like a fairly effective defence when you consider the design philosophy."
"The entire universe has a cool factor that outweighs the atrocious storytelling."
"Bro imagine the following movies, but if they were in Star Wars universe."
"Top Gun - But it's you know, Wedge or something"
"Ford versus Ferrari - But it's podracing or swoop racing"
"He was never a character. He was a cool helmet."
"He was a cool jetpack too."
Time for the weather...
"Han is actually older than Obi-Wan due to Time Dilation."
"Time dilation in a universe where every planet and moon has the same gravity and atmosphere?"
"And just 1 biome."
"That way they only need one Weather Channel per planet."
"And over to Klaatu for the Tatooine weather report. Klaatu?"
"It's still sunny."
These are the droids we're looking for.
"Star Wars is actually the life story of C-3PO—think about it."
Fan is short for fanatic.
"Fans ruined the whole franchise."
So, did your controversial Star Wars opinion make the list?
People clarified what actually terrified them most about death
"I don't fear being dead. I fear dying."
"Yeah, that's usually the issue. It's why that quote doesn't mean much, to a lot of people."
Concept Of Loss
People provided an analogy to articulate what ceasing to exist must feel like.
It's About Time
Consciousness Is Life
Like Being Under
"That is very true, but for me, that's the closest amalgamation of what it probably feels like."
When In Deep Sleep
"Yeah in contrast to sleep where you can actually feel like time has passed when you wake up."
Think Line Between Death And Slumber
"As CGPGrey puts it, your bed might very well be a suicide machine."
People opened up about their insecurities around the concept of death.
Fear Of What Comes Next
The Circle Of Death
"But you won’t be able to. You just won’t!"
When Faith Fails You
"what do you mean I'm going to hell?! I was a good person and attended church regularly!"
It was sweet and beautifully done. The 1962 episode was titled, "Nothing in the Dark."
That's how I imagine it to be.
A dashing Prince of Darkness telling me it's time to join him in guiding me to the other side.