Like, for real tho. Are you kidding?
[rebelmouse-image 18345368 is_animated_gif=It takes a lot to make us say "Are you kidding?" But when we say it, we really mean it. And the things that made us say it are even more ridiculous than us even saying it in the first place!
Let's hear some stories about it. u/Bitterpants asked Reddit:
Dear Reddit, what's the most "Are you kidding me?" moment you've ever experienced?
Here are some of those stories.
Soapshod
[rebelmouse-image 18356272 is_animated_gif=Worked for Bath & Body Works.com customer service for years. It was nothing but "are you kidding me" moments.
One winter we had hand soaps with a cartoon polar bear and penguin on the label, wearing scarves and sledding. I had a lady call and YELL at me for nearly an hour about how inaccurate that is, since polar bears and penguins don't live in the same place. She demanded that I tell her why we put them on the label together.
I didn't last much longer after that.
The Spelling
[rebelmouse-image 18356273 is_animated_gif=I have a last name that is common but comes in multiple spellings. Think Smith/Smyth. I always spell the name out when I tell people my last name because mine is the less common method. I was checking into a hotel and the employee checking me in was having a hard time finding our reservations. I believe it was her first day so she asked the manager for help. I tell him how to spell my name but he wasn't really listening. More of a let me show this new girl how it is done.
After what seemed like 20 minutes he says "Oh here it is. Someone misspelled your name. They put a y instead of an I" Me: "That is the correct spelling" Him: "No it isn't! I know how to spell Smith. I am going to change it in our system it will only take me a second"
That was the day I realized I didn't know how to spell my own name.
Invalid
[rebelmouse-image 18356274 is_animated_gif=Denied a drivers license because my birth certificate was "invalid" for having a tiny hole in the center. I waited 4 hours.
Fired
[rebelmouse-image 18350216 is_animated_gif=I had a college professor scold the class for helping each other study for exams because she stated we were all competing for a program spot/future job and needed to be more competitive. She magically was not teaching any classes next semester.
It Is Your Job Tho
[rebelmouse-image 18350220 is_animated_gif=I had a teacher in a base level chem-phys class yell at my class after everyone failed a test because we hadn't been taught half of the unit.
His exact words were "it's not my job to teach you the materials"
Acetamina-don't
[rebelmouse-image 18350217 is_animated_gif=I got suspended for the horrendous crime of taking Tylenol on school property last year. I was waiting for the shuttle to marching band practice when I had cramps, and there was no way to get to the nurse and back to the bus stop on time. I of course complained about my impending miserable practice to a few friends and one offered me Tylenol. Practice went great, I thought nothing of it. Next day my friend and I were dragged to the office and interrogated because someone told the school I took 6 pills of speed. I never had broken a rule before that so I was panicking. I remember the quote of the year being "if it was just Tylenol that doesn't explain why you're so upset right now". Apparently I was the only person at that school who cared when they were in trouble. They ended up confirming it was Tylenol though, and just when I thought Truth, Justice, and the American Way had prevailed, they suspended me anyway.
Lurn 2 Drive
[rebelmouse-image 18351724 is_animated_gif=Going to the dreaded blue store and a woman on her phone nearly pulls into me (big blue dodge van) as she suddenly decides she needs to be in the turn lane and then nearly rear ends me because she assumed we would just continue to go when the light changed to red (there were two cars ahead of me too). If that wasn't bad enough she nearly hits me again in the parking lot as she drives across the parking spots and has the nerve to flip me off when I honk at her to stop her from slamming into me.
Poor Baby
[rebelmouse-image 18356275 is_animated_gif=I used to work at an animal shelter. A woman brought in a Rottweiler puppy, age 8 weeks. Said she was surrendering it because she did not realize it would get that big. O.O
(Honestly, though, thank you thank you thank you lady. You brought him in young, cute, and supremely adoptable and not a year and a half later, out of control and completely unsocialized from living in your yard. You did the right thing!)
It's German, Brenda
[rebelmouse-image 18346562 is_animated_gif=When people correct me about my last name, or claim to know where it originates. Here's a typical cringe conversation I have about it:
"My last name is (last name)"
"Oh, you mean (mispronounces last name)"
"No, it's pronounced (correct last name)"
"Well, in Russia its pronounced my way"
"...my last name isn't Russian, it's German."
"Actually, I know it's Russian and...blah blah blah (I stop listening at this point)"
People Are So Entitled
[rebelmouse-image 18349166 is_animated_gif=At one point I was engaged. I was together with this girl for nearly 7 years. Her car died so I bought her a brand new one of her choice. She wanted something small and easy to drive with good storage space so she chose a Scion xD. We drove 4 hours to the next state to get one in the color that she wanted.
A few months later she's leaving me to be with an older mid 30s, unemployed, uneducated, no skills, married loser who she knows fulls well is cheating on his wife with her. He stayed at home all day while his wife worked. They would do their thing together and be sure to get him back home before his wife so she wouldn't know.
Well, here's this brand new car. It was in my name. I was making the payments. And she's leaving me to go be with this mutual cheater. I told her that she had two options regarding this car. She could either get a loan to purchase this car off of me or I'm taking the car back. I'm not going to pay ~$18,000 after interest for a car for you now.
She wasn't happy about this. She was also using my old cell phone since she broke hers. I told her that I wanted my phone back, too. After I got it back I looked at what she left on it. She deleted the contact of her new cheater fuckboy but the text messages remained. I knew his number so it was easy to see who she was talking to.
She was saying to him that I was "driving her crazy" about this car and that I wouldn't just leave her alone about it.
You think that you can leave me for the guy that you were cheating on me with and that I'm still going to pay for this brand new car of your choice for you?
The Name Has "Strawberry" In It....
[rebelmouse-image 18356277 is_animated_gif=I work fast food, we have a relatively popular item which is a strawberry slush made with actual strawberries. It says as much on the menu.
Customer orders a strawberry slush. Sixty seconds pass, and they call back in and want to speak to a manager.
Dipshit: "My strawberry slush has strawberry in it?"
Me: "Well, yes, of course?"
Very itchy dipshit: "I'm allergic to strawberries."
Priorities
[rebelmouse-image 18356279 is_animated_gif=A customer in the restaurant I work in had a seizure and an ambulance was called. My reaction when the ambulance pulled up was to prop he door open for the paramedics so they could get in faster. The assistant managers reaction was to complain to me about how they parked right in front of the entrance, and that they should have more respect for the business...
The Earth Is Round.
[rebelmouse-image 18356280 is_animated_gif=I spent 30 minutes talking to a flat earther.
A REAL flat earther.
Wrong License
[rebelmouse-image 18356281 is_animated_gif=My license got suspended for several months because a woman with my exact name (not at all common) got caught driving without insurance and the officer mistakenly assigned the ticket to me. After finally figuring out what happened, my boyfriend and I had to take a day off work and drive an hour to the town she got the ticket in to go to court and basically prove I wasn't her. After I was cleared it still took well over a month for my license to be reinstated. It was so inconvenient and beyond frustrating because I had done absolutely nothing wrong! Fast forward two years and I'm denied when trying to get a library card because the same woman had a late fee for a Fast and Furious 6 dvd.
Just Let Me Go
[rebelmouse-image 18350221 is_animated_gif=Was in a training period for a job I tried to land to pay the bills after I graduated and was meandering in search of career direction.
I got the flu in my 2nd week of training, during a blizzard in which we were maybe one of a handful of offices open in town. I was really, really sick, like "don't go into work" sick, but it was training, and even if it was a sh-t anyone-can-do-it job, I still wanted to tough it out by going in. I just had my girlfriend at the time drive me because I was so out of it.
We're getting toward mid-afternoon, and the weather has been getting worse. I'd spent most of 11am-2pm excusing myself to go to the toilet and vomit.
Finally, it occurred to me this was a bad job and lives weren't at stake by me toughing it out. So I went to my supervisor and explained to her: look, I'm sick, I've been sick all day, I haven't been productive as a result, and since I didn't drive today, I'd like to leave ONE hour early due to the weather and me being sick.
My supervisor said: OK, you can leave, but you will get a written warning for leaving work early. If you get another warning, you will be fired.
I put in my two weeks' notice the next day.
(And to my surprise: they accepted it and said "OK, sit here for two weeks without any incentive and be totally unproductive". That was weird.)
The Cow Potato
[rebelmouse-image 18356282 is_animated_gif="Wait. Aren't potatoes from cows or something? Why can vegans eat them?" This grown man thought Potatoes were from animals.
Muslimism
[rebelmouse-image 18356284 is_animated_gif=Geography teacher taught religious education in my school.
He called Islam 'Muslimism.'
He wasn't much better at geography.
Ah, Capitalism
[rebelmouse-image 18356285 is_animated_gif=I had some lunatic come into the restaurant I worked at and ask if she could pay for her $12 order with either a bank draft, or a bank transfer. And then she asked for the restaurants bank account number.
When I told her cash or debit only, she became extremely irate, and began to berate me for supposedly discriminating against her because of her financial situation. She started screaming at me when I told her to either go to the bank and withdraw $12, or just leave.
Poor Neil Armstrong
[rebelmouse-image 18356287 is_animated_gif=We were doing an event at a school for some tuition program - and one question was asking what they wanted to be when they grew up. It turned into a debate since half the class said they wanted to be astronauts and one kid kept shouting how the moon landing was fake, and outer space was fake.
Man, they sure do get them while they're young.
Yup, We Know
[rebelmouse-image 18345581 is_animated_gif=A local popular food festival, known for its crowds, offered early entry tickets, allowing entry an hour before everyone else. Of course, a lot of people bought them, including my wife and I. And like anything, you show up earlier than the entry time and wait to get in.
Maybe 5 minutes before early entry ticket holders were allowed in, a woman strolled past us demanding to speak to someone in charge because she paid for early entry and still had to wait at the back of a line.
"Are you kidding me?" loudly escaped my lips before I realized what was happening. The woman was sent to the back of the line to wait her turn.
The doors opened, the line moved, and the early entry crowd was through the doors in about 10 minutes, tops.
Are we being lazy or is it self-care?
That is what you should ask yourself first, before you judge.
Life is an arduous journey and a constant energy suck.
It was inevitable we'd find shortcuts to get by.
It's all about survival.
Redditor Batman_In_Peacetime wanted to hear about the times we just didn't care enough to try harder. They asked:
"What is a lazy thing you began doing when you realised you can live with it?"
I'm best when I'm at my laziest. Ok, that's a lie, but I don't care.
Zzzz...
"On weekends I sleep for 12-14 hours. I usually wake up a few times but I dream so much during those long sleeps that it’s basically become a recreation type thing and I love it."
HouseOfZenith
Warm it up...
"When I use the microwave, I’ll heat food for 1:11 or 2:22 because I can’t be bothered to move my lazy fingers."
fysicks
"I figured out that my microwave's turntable rotates once every 12 seconds. So, everything I cook is on a multiple of 12 seconds so that it always ends up at the front of the microwave when it's done cooking, and I don't have to reach all the way to the back of the microwave to get my food out."
unittwentyfive
Bang
"When I was a kid on a school day, I had this routine where I'd stick my legs out of the bed and bang around on the floor so it sounded like I got out of bed and then just lie there for a few more minutes."
bewarethechameleon
"Did you also get your toothbrush wet and squirt a wee bit of toothpaste in your mouth rather than actually brush your teeth? If so I may be your mom and you weren’t fooling me or the dentist and you sure weren’t fooling the plaque that attacked."
TigerLily98226
Pockets
"Whenever I clean the house I put on my housecoat with really big pockets. I just walk from room to room and put things in my pocket that don’t belong in that room. Once my pockets are full I go to each room and empty my pockets putting what is from each room in that room."
kindhearttbc
"That's not lazy... that's productive AF."
throwaway92715
Toss It
"I don’t fold the fitted sheet. Just ball it up and place it in the closet."
SpaghettiSquash33
I just see people human. Don't he so hard on yourselves.
12 Hours
"I once watched 12 hours of the golf Network because the batteries were dead in my remote control. I don't know if that's lazy or depressed."
sadbirdfox
I swear I was...
"I was taught to make a bed properly as a child, I swear I was. Hospital corners and everything. I even know how to fold a fitted sheet, thanks to my auntie, who's an Air Force nurse and therefore doesn't consider little problems like 'non-Euclidean geometry' to be a reason not to do it properly. The second I found out about duvet covers, that was over. Sure, it doesn't look as tidy, but five minutes a week plus 10 seconds in the morning instead of 10 minutes a day? I can live with that."
katie-kaboom
The System
"I don't fold laundry anymore. I have a system of laundry baskets like this where clothes gets sorted by type (pants, t-shirts, sweaters, etc). Most of my clothes is wrinkle free, and for the few pieces that aren't I just throw them on a hanger in the bathroom while I take a steamy shower."
User deleted
Genius!!
"Before I get out of bed in the morning, I will grab the top corners of my sheets with my hands and prop up the bottom two with my feet and move it into place. Then I slide out of bed without ruffling anything. Just like that, my bed is made."
Markymark142
"My sister has to do this before she goes to bed at night, even is she made the bed that morning. It's an odd little quirk and mostly harmless."
mel2mdl
Yummy
"Just eating food straight out of the pan."
refrshmts_N_narcotcs
None of that sounds so bad. That sounds... like my life. Don't judge!!
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Be it on a blind date, at a party where you don't know anyone, or sitting next to someone on an airplane, starting a conversation with a total stranger is difficult.
As much as we'd all like to be friendly, far too often we find ourselves at a loss for words.
It doesn't help that we generally have no idea of what these people's various interests are, making it anyone's guess how they'll respond.
But some have this problem solved, finding a go-to topic which is always guaranteed to get a response, no matter who you're talking to.
Redditor Blugged_Bunny was curious to hear what people thought was the best way to begin a conversation with strangers, leading them to ask:
"What is your go-to 'small talk' topic with strangers?"
Did you check the forecast?
"We sure are having a lot of weather"- r_Ju_Tacular.
"As a British person, the conversation usually starts like this:"
“'You alright?'"
”Yeah you?”'
“'Yeah not too bad, weathers a bit sh*t innit?'”
“'Yeah”'.
"The end."- chelstippins
Why beat around the bush?
"Straight to politics and religion."- Turd_Ferguson009.
Just let it happen.
"Make an observation."
"Literally anything."It helps if it’s something about them like an article of clothing that catches your eye, something they’re doing, anything that you can relate to or are interested in but it doesn’t have to be."
"It can be something in the environment that is drawing both of your attention."
"People bullsh*t about the weather all the time."
"Make a comment about it, gauge their willingness to talk about it to you and build off of what you get from the response."
"If all you get is 'haha yeah', leave it."
"No shame in silence."
"Some people just don’t want to talk."
I"f you’re talking about the weather, 'Man it’s a great day out today!'"
“'Yeah absolutely! I drove here with my windows down all the way here!'”
"Boom, you’ve got something to latch onto."
"They probably enjoy getting outside for some fresh air. "
"They probably enjoy driving."
"Ask about their car."
"Ask if they go on drives a lot."
"Ask if they do outdoor stuff."
"What kind of outdoor stuff?"
"Once you’ve got something to work with, the key is to ask."
"Let them do the talking."
"People love talking about themselves."
"You learn some light hearted things about the stranger, they feel more comfortable, and you can add bits and bobs of your own experiences in response so they get to know you too."
"It works in literally any situation."
"From an elevator ride to a first date."
"It’s so easy to personalize small talk and it makes it so much less uncomfortable."- 1arrocknroll.
"But enough about me, what do you think about me?"
"Usually people love to talk about themselves, so a few questions about them and some follow up questions to their answers usually does it."- I_can_see_the_music.
"Food, glorious food..."
"Food."
"People typically love food."
"I mention I’m new/newer to an area."
"And ask them what they like, where they eat out."
"Usually works and people have their choices validated and I always know where to find good local snacks."- TheProfWife.
Can you believe it?
"Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"- housemuncher.
Nothing!
"As a Norwegian - we leave strangers alone."
"No need to bother them."- neihuffda.
The sky's the limit.
"So, do you like stuff?"- Bwon669.
All of these seem like surefire ways to get a conversation started.
But use cautiously, as who knows how long it will take these conversations to end.
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Quality comes with price. That's a fact you can't escape. If you hire someone to fix your home, and want them to do the best job, you're going to have to pay above average prices. That's fine. Pay the people what they're worth for the great job they did. However, we live in a world where everyone is looking for their payout, even if what they've given you is less than ideal.
Don't overpay for any of these.
Reddit user, DrLizardLover, wanted to know what we're paying too much for when they asked:
"What is just stupidly overpriced?"
If you didn't know any better, you would think making office and school supplies was a lot like mining for diamonds in the center of the Earth.
Though, we also know diamonds are a rip-off so maybe that's not the argument we should be making.
Another Collegiate Payment
"College books"
Spooly_Boy
"Especially when they say you have to buy the newest copy every year"
disantiyesnt
Good Thing We're Going Paperless
"Printer cartridges."
DataPlenty
"Apparently it's because in order to make printers affordable to everyone, you must lower their prices. The cartridges are the upsell and is where the profit comes from."
AltaSavoia
We Carry Them Around On Our Phones
"TI-84"
"I could get an old cell phone from a dumpster that’s 10x as powerful. Why the f-ck they still charging $80 or more for these things?"
edgeblackbelt
If living in 2022 has taught us anything, it's that convenience has a price.
And it's high.
$50 For Twizzlers
"Foods and drinks at movie theaters or sporting events"
Icy-Company7718
"I can answer for the theaters. They don't actually get much, if any, of the ticket sales. A lot of their operating budget comes from the snack bar."
Head_Razzmatazz7174
Fees On Hidden Fees For Hidden Fees
"Concert tickets"
"(AKA Ticketmaster)"
Catilily_3141
"I thought I was on the school box office site when I was on one made to look like it. I bought two reasonably priced ncaa basketball tickets and when I went to check out it went up to $70 with fees. Found the school website and checked out for $26 total."
blackcatmystery
Costs A Lot To Be A Woman
"One bra is like…40 dollars"
Noliel_Laicaster
"except i have big honkers so i'm forced to pay upwards of $80 for a bra because the only place I can get them in my size is Lane Bryant or Torrid"
kelsiewest11
"Just women's clothes in general. If I'm paying $40 for a pair of dress slacks, they damn well better have pockets. I have to have black slacks for my delivery job and ended up buying 3 pair of men's pants for $20 each, just to have the pockets."
Head_Razzmatazz7174
What can hurt the most is the idea companies and people will charge you for things you need to have. It's almost as if they know you're willing to pay the price...
Awful.
History Has Funny Way Of Changing Perspectives
"Lobster. Was literally considered food for the peasants at one point in history. They used lobsters as bait on ships"
magoted
The Most Expensive Day Of Your Life
"Anything tied to a wedding"
nickp123456
"Friend of mine needed a generator for a wedding. He booked it as a "corporate event" to get cheaper hire."
"When the company arrived to setup and saw it was a wedding they demanded extra money, because it was a wedding. Same location, same generator, same rental period."
salmonlikethephish
Sipping The Last Bits Of Money Out Of The Dead
"Funerals"
Longjumping-Oil4497
"I definitely think that add-ons for funerals are sold like biggie sizing your happy meal. And the concept of memorializing a person for eternity has been sold as bare necessity. But I do know that the pomp and circumstance a lot of people need to lay somebody to rest, costs money."
"I want to see people honored in their death, but spending $5,000 on a pine box does not make sense to me"
444unsure
People Need Help? Charge Them.
"Mental health services. Blessings upon blessings to the mental health professionals who offer sliding scales."
AphelionEntity
America Gonna 'Murica
"Getting an IUD put in or taken out without insurance costs 1300. Takes 5 minutes to put in and it’s a piece of plastic."
m_hahn_solo
"Wow thats so much. I'm in Canada so having it inserted, removed, and follow up appointments are free. But I had to pay for the IUD. The first time I used the insurance from college so only paid $30. The second time I graduated and didn't have insurance so I went to planned parenthood where its cheaper and paid 230. The third time I had insurance from work and it was free. Honestly all birth control should be free."
Forever-25
Keep an eye on your wallet, since you know most of the world is keeping theirs firmly on it.
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Not everyone is going to believe what you believe. Our own experiences and values add up to make us who we are. Without them, we'd all be the same amorphous blob of consciousness covering the planet in bland beliefs. You hold something in high regard, and that might mean someone else disagrees with you.
Hold your ground, and be ready to die on that hill, kind of like these people.
Reddit user, realduckbutter, wanted to know what you will never let go of when they asked:
"What’s the smallest hill you’re willing to die on?"
What is it about this hill that makes it worthwhile to fight over? Is it something ingrained in your core or something that you can never let go?
This Is Good, Great, And Dandy
"Oxford commas are GOOD and should be EMPLOYED LIBERALLY."
CopsaLau
"I agree with this, I agree with this, and I agree with this."
ajt9104_
Squats All Day
"Nice butts are better than big butts."
Crockpot_gator_Snot
"Shape > Size"
"on that note, 99.9% of of people don’t give a damn about color imperfections or stretch marks. It’s completely irrelevant. The shape is what makes a nice butt."
"Edit: I admit that my statistic it totally made up. I made to say that MOST people don’t care."
bouchandre
Doesn't Hold Up
"KFC gravy isn't as good as it used to be."
AshySlashy902
"KFC isn't as good as it used to be. The biscuits are so hit or miss now."
SuperstitiousPigeon5
Me Am No Good With Words And Things
"It's "I couldn't care less," not "I could care less." If you could care less, you care a little!"
thedoginapound
"That’s what I’m saying!!! People make no sense sometimes"
Rebelsinblacktattoo
The workplace is somewhere you (possibly) go to every day. If there's something about it you like or don't like, don't let it go.
Proper Bathroom Ambience
"Bathrooms at the work place should all be required to play music to help drown out the sounds being made"
zerorush8
"THANK YOU. I’ve thought this for years. Just some simple elevator music. Anything."
"I’d rather hear 10 hours of Yiruma’s River Flows In You than 10 seconds of whatever is flowing out of the poor guy next to me."
jaylward
Better Be Some Money That Comes With That Title
"Don’t give me a “promotion” unless it comes with a pay raise. The only reason I would want a promotion is because I get paid more, not so I can flex my title on ppl"
traws06
"Flex that title into a raise somewhere else"
meanie_ants
So Grateful
"All companies regardless of what industry they're in do their best work and are the most consumer friendly when they're in second or third place in their industry. The 'leader' is almost never the best option."
Nayko214
"The best service and the most exciting food is at two star Michelin restaurants because they’re playing offense not defense."
gastro_gnome
"Cashiers should be allowed to sit down during their shifts, ex. Aldi. There should be no reason why they need to keep standing in place for an entire shift"
kdotismydad
"This is so f-cking American. I've never in my European life seen a cashier standing up."
PercussiveRussel
Whatever it is about these hills we're all supposedly dying, you cannot deny the fact it's super fascinating to see bodies dropping on them.
Do Any Of Us Know What We're Eating?
"When people say “it has chemicals in it”. Your mom is chemicals. Everything is chemicals."
nosmase2
"The whole "don't put it in your body if you can't pronounce it" nonsense is infuriating. An apple has things in it most people couldn't pronounce if you wrote out the chemical composition. And does my having taken organic chem and biochem classes mean I can eat things others can't?"
"Don't even get me started on the anti-GMO crap."
dude_logman
Diamond Eyeglasses? Diamond Cups? Why Stop There?
"Lab grown diamonds are real diamonds. Chemically. It’s purely marketing that makes you pay more for mined diamonds."
ScoobyTrue
"I believe you may be wrong. They are purer than mined diamonds."
"I'm looking forward to windshields made out of diamond."
ScottColvin
*tap, *tap, *tap
"Mobile gaming is better when it's simple games like Angry Birds or Fruit Ninja"
ofsquire
"Yeah I thought I wanted big impressive games on my phone but then I realized there’s no point. I’m never going to play on my phone over a console"
realduckbutter
Holding Up The Line With Your Niceness
"Pay-it-forward drive-through chains are pointless. They aren’t really helping anyone, they’re just making everything awkward."
lassie86
"Im a starbucks barista and like its a nice thing dont get me wrong, but the way our systems work things get confusing and orders or items get lost so people end up getting free but wrong orders :( it also puts the customer on the spot to make a decision to continue or not and i hate that it's so awkward. I always just say hey your order has been paid for have a great day!"
imasokas2percentmilk
It Hurts So Good
"If Q-Tips were not meant to go deep in your ear canal, then God would not have put the g-spot in there"
Virtual-Stranger
Meet lots of people, develop a set of values, then enact those values upon yourself as you engage with the world. Be the person you want to be.
Tell us how you won't let anything go in the comments below.
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