People Share Their Absolute Favorite Go-To Insults
Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash

We have to admire the snappy, caustic wit that enables people to issue scorching remarks without so much as a blink of their eyes, and we implore you to share the best burns you've ever heard with us!

There is indeed an art to a good insult. If you're looking for some new ones to add to your repertoire, then guess what? You're in luck! People shared their favorites after Redditor JR9045 asked the online community,

"What is your go-to insult?"

"Step-dad absolutely crushing..."

"I've seen better arms on a chair."

Step-dad absolutely crushing the dreams of a friend who had been working out trying to put on muscle."

Shaggy_Neapolitan

Savage––I wouldn't want to run into your step-dad in a dark alley.

"A friend asked..."

"I'm slightly overweight.

A friend asked where I was and someone replied, "Probably stuck in a door somewhere."

Even I couldn't stop laughing."

Rhizie7

"This was a decade ago..."

"As an Irishman, the term "gobshite" holds a special place in my heart.

The most creative one I've ever heard, though was from my stepfather's uncle the first time we went out to meet his family in Texas when I was 13. I'm a ginger, but freckles only really come out in the sun. When they come out I don't just have freckles. I have Freckles. Obviously spending the summer in the middle of TX, got quite a lot of sun. This lovely, jovial, redneck man took one look at me and said "Goddamn, son, you look like a pig farted on you through a screen door."

This was a decade ago, and I still have never gotten over the sickness of that burn."

drunkinabookstore

That is pretty creative and now I can't get the image it inspires out of my head.

"My husband and I..."

"My husband and I were talking with some guy at a gay bar. Pretty damn sure we didn't know him from Adam. He insisted that we had met him in the past.

He says, "How can you not remember me?"

Hubs: "Don't take it personally, I've forgotten people far more memorable than you."

YourFairyGodmother

Ouch. That's a great way to shut someone up.

"I was in a bodega..."

"I was in a bodega with these terrifyingly popular-looking teen girls, and one of them snapped at the other, "Ok, how about talk to me when your ankle socks match."

Like...the SPECIFICITY made me want to die just having received contact burn and I'm a fully grown woman with a baby and a mortgage."

heyybrighteyes

The specificity of an insult could mean that it's a well-crafted insult, and a well-crafted insult will hurt much more.

"Somewhere on this planet..."

"Somewhere on this planet, there is a tree that has spent its entire life producing the oxygen that you have breathed. You need to find that tree and apologize."

noguarde

"I have a thick skin..."

"I have a thick skin, but someone said I look like Andre' $3000 in debt. It was both the funniest and meanest thing I've heard about myself."

Nyther

"They really..."

"Lonely people take long and hot showers to get the warmth of those who they need."

They really called me out."

anxiety_prime123

"You know that feeling..."

"You know that feeling when you break the wrist on your dominant arm and you have to wipe with your weak hand? Yeah, you look like the human version of that."

Darthmollsack

Well, it's clear I need to step up my insult game, but I also don't want to get beat the hell up, so I guess I'll just keep my mouth shut.

Have some favorites of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!

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