People Share The Worst Things That Have Happened To Them That Actually Made Life Better
Sometimes, the worst moments in your life can actually be setting the stage for something just a little bit magical. Take it from me - losing my eyeball lead to a really cool job, a stint in a band, and the best romantic relationship I've ever been in.
It took time, obviously. It's not like I was rolled out of the surgical suite and life just handed me a gift basket of awesomeness as a consolation prize. But I can say with 100% certainty that losing the eye started the whole "ball" (yeah, eyeball puns are a thing now) rolling.
Reddit user DirtySyko asked:
What's something horrible that happened to you that ended up making your life better?
It turns out I'm not the only one who can pinpoint their positive life turns on one seemingly-negative moment. Check out all of these other people who, much like me and Queen Bey, made lemonade when life handed them lemons.
Go Home. Start Over.
Within a span of a couple months, the girl I thought I was going to marry left me for my friend, my sister was diagnosed with a life changing disease, my 11 year old cousin was diagnosed with Stage 2 brain cancer and my father walked out on his family.
Instead of self medicating and being depressed, my hardest decision in my life was calling my mom to tell her I was leaving college to come home to help get my situation better and help her with her own battles. And now, I'm the healthiest I've been mentally and physically and my family (excluding my father) is trending towards the right direction.
- GoEERs18
The Lost Scholarship
I lost a full ride scholarship and had to drop out of college. Afterwards, while working at a grocery store, I met my wife. Then she helped put me through school to get my masters degree.
Now she is finishing up her degree and when she gets a job I'll work from home and be a stay at home dad for our daughter.
Looking back now, it was a blessing. But it certainly didn't feel that way at the time. That was the darkest year of my life, and I owe a lot to the friends that helped me through. If you are going through a rough time, it may help to know it may be a positive overall in the end, and I hope you have people close to you that can help you work through it.
Thanks, Hurricane Katrina
GiphyI was going to college down in Louisiana. The school got hit pretty bad by Katrina an they had to cancel school for a semester.
I ended up going home and going to a local school for a semester, planning to return to my school in January. Then they announced in November they were on track to open... but were phasing out my major. I needed to find a new school and get accepted in the matter of a few weeks.
While dealing with all this I was driving to go get a hair cut. A woman going the other direction on a road decided to take a sudden left turn across my lane and I broadsided her. My car was totaled.
The last piece was my girlfriend dumping me for a friend. She was still in Louisiana and because I wasn't there she ended up with him.
As you can imagine, it was a pretty depressing time. I had been working my butt off, I thought I was doing everything right, and stuff still went all wrong.
Here's where things started getting better...
Because I was affected by Katrina, schools were amazingly helpful letting me apply and get accepted. My previous school couldn't get my information so they basically took my word that I was in good academic standing. I was accepted to another school in about a week. And it was in a part of the country that didn't get hurricanes (that was actually one of my selection criteria). The school was near a company that hired me right after graduation in the field that I wanted to be in. This got me in the door literally a month or two before the bottom fell out of the market in 2008 and new graduates were struggling to find a job.
The lady that totaled my car admitted to her and my insurance that it was all her fault. Her insurance paid out more than my car really was worth. I got a better one.
The school was far away from home but my brother had a friend from high school that went there. I met her before I went there and she said she'd show me around when I got there. This was all about 14 years ago... she's sitting on the other end of the couch reading a story to our two kids.
So yeah, stuff sucked. I wish I could have avoided getting emotionally beat up like that but I ended up in a much better place. It was totally worth it in the long run.
A Stranger From Reddit
I made the mistake of moving to LA for an internship. Absolutely hated it, had no friends, mild depression, and moved back to my college town as soon as I could afford to rent a vehicle (my only ride at the time was my motorcycle). Day after I moved back a stranger from Reddit helped me unload my motorcycle out of the dodge grand caravan I rented and now that man is my husband.
We have two gorgeous golden retrievers, a baby on the way, and my life is better than I ever imagined it would be.
7 Years Wasted?
Realized my grad school "mentor" that you needed to have in order to graduate was completely unstable and vindictive. Realized my chances of advancing in my chosen field was impossible without said degree and fell into a depression...couldn't leave my room or bed for a month. I basically wasted 7 years of my life with debt to pay off now. My landlady was amazing and being concerned would bring food everyday.
After a long counseling session with my dad, I chose a brand new direction and through a string of luck and hard work I now have a higher paying job the previous degree would have ever gotten me and am truly happy. I've always been interested in psychology but also business. Discovered a thing called market research and found an internship as I was technically still a student.
I had set hours but as I had no idea what I was doing I volunteered to stay extra hours so I can learn skills from current employees without pay. Work ethic + skills = job offer. Continued learning new things on YouTube, webinars, and other resources. Changed to other companies and made my way upward. To be clear it's not my own company. I work in social media strategy for a major movie and TV company.
The thing I learned when talking with my dad was that higher education doesn't necessarily only teach you your major. It teaches you a new way of approaching problems and expands the way you think. I applied that to my new chosen career. Be curious, learn random related stuff, try harder than the others and do more than required.
- C2BSR
Happy Thanksgiving
My wife of 12 years told me she was engaged to someone else and wanted a divorce - a week before Thanksgiving!
My older brother, whom I had never really gotten along with, found out I was living in my S-10 truck came from 3 states away, put me up in a hotel, and helped me find an apartment. I reconnected with him and his family due to that major low point.
February the divorce was finalized.
March I met my new wife and married her in October. We have been married for 14 years now and I am over the moon in love with her. Never would have met her if the ex hadn't been so selfish. My brother and I text at least 2 times a week and talk every other week. He said that hearing about my problems made him decide to be a big brother. Seeing what I went through made his marriage better, and my little sister said it has changed her marriage for the better as well.
Don't Need To
GiphyI was thrown out of my house on my 18th birthday with just the clothes on my back and a few bucks in my pocket. I decided I was not going to put myself in a position to have to rely on anyone ever again.
I worked my a** off. I put myself through college. I saved my money. I bought a business. I used the profits to buy a second business.
I still work, but I don't need to.
- Jdoe74
Undiagnosed
Quitting a job after only two weeks because I was so anxious about going in every day that I couldn't sleep.
This caused me to reach out to a counselor for help. Got diagnosed initially with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but after a year of therapy was told by therapist that it seemed likely that the source of my anxiety and problems in life seemed to stem from undiagnosed ADHD. Got an appointment with a psychiatrist and ended being diagnosed as "a classic case of ADHD".
Quite possibly might have gone my entire life undiagnosed if it hasn't been for how bad that job went for me.
- DJBlok
Death Was The First Step Towards A Better Life
My grandma dying at age 16.
It sucked that she passed but it was the first step towards a better life.
I would have worked in a going-nowhere position at a gas station until my dying breath taking care of her because I loved my grandma she gave me a safe home. When she died I had no friends and after her death I saw what my family was greedy and selfish.
I had to go live with my mom, which was worse but I now lived in a town and had ways to build myself away from my family and towards a future.
My life isn't perfect but at least I'm not dealing with them or physical isolation and there is some potential.
Credit Cards And Birth Control
I was an insurance agent, and I helped a customer make a change to her policy that required her to make a payment. She gave me her credit card details and I ran them through our payment system, as I'd done thousands of times before. Then I went on with my life.
The customer later found unauthorized charges on her card, and since cases of big companies losing customer data were all over the news, she contacted our company, somehow ended up speaking to my boss's boss, and told him her concerns.
Since my boss's boss knew that our company had not had a data breach (or at least, he was not aware of one) he decided that I had likely stolen her credit card details. The next day I arrived for work and was swiftly pulled aside and told that I could not be in the building because I was under investigation for credit card fraud. My boss apologized and told me that he knew I hadn't done it, but that I had to go home and I couldn't come back until they'd concluded their investigation.
It took them two weeks to clear me, most of which I spent either gripped with terror, drunk, or both. I knew that I hadn't stolen her credit card details, but I also knew that, if they decided that I had, I would definitely lose my license to practice insurance and would very possibly go to prison. I was an insurance agent not because I particularly enjoyed practicing insurance, but because a college degree was not a prerequisite for it. I did not have a college degree and therefore did not have a backup career.
During those two weeks, which I spent as a neurotic drunken chihuahua who started crying every time the doorbell rang, I didn't remember to take all my birth control pills. However, I did have sex with my husband. Shortly after being allowed back at work, I discovered that I was pregnant. Suddenly, insurance was not just my shitty day job for right now, but what I was going to have to do for at least the next 18 years. It was horrifying. Sufficiently horrifying to have me enrolling in trade school at three months pregnant. Now I have an awesome preschooler and a job which doesn't drain my soul.
Dear Ol' Dad
My biological dad was a liar and bragger. He lived a couple thousand miles away and wasn't really in my life, but visited enough to mess with me. He constantly lied about supporting me while my mom struggled and eventually I had to support myself if I wanted to be more normal with what I did and had. Eventually he remarried and started being around less and less (which is saying something for someone whom I saw 2 or 3 times a year) and even stopping telling me when he was in my home state (30 mins from me) to see my step mom's family. I just became a back burner and maybe saw him once a year for a few years.
After a few years of forgetting birthdays and holidays he managed to call on my 21st birthday and he said something that left me unhinged and I laid into him on the phone. It's been 6 years since we've spoke almost and I've never felt better in my life.
Being lied to my whole life about everything has given me an insane skill set with detecting BS and I'm pretty grateful for that. I also learned a serious work ethic so that I didn't have to burden my mom for anything financially. I'm a stronger person for it and pretty happy and thankful for the whole situation.
Of course I may be a bit dramatic because it's nowhere near as bad as other people's stories with bad parents. Honestly I never tell people anything about it because I was so fortunate to have my mom and her parents that it just doesn't seem right to complain about one bad character.
Getting Laid Off Paid Off
GiphyI got laid off from a 9-5 min wage job at a hardware store. I was a single mom with 2 kids. I seriously thought we might die. I had no idea what to do. I started looking at ways to make money and have my kids with me so I could cut the daycare bill out of my life. I got my school bus license and started cleaning businesses and houses (I had permission to bring my extremely well behaved kids ). I found various other things to do and was making $3000-$4000 a month. Plus I had the freedom to take days off to do stuff with my kids/travel when ever I wanted.
This was 9 years ago and I never worked 9-5 again. Now I'm in a position where I only drive a school bus. Working 5 hours a day and only 180 days a year is a dream come true.
Being a parent isn't for everybody.
That is a life lesson well learned.
Not everybody wants to have kids.
That maybe hard to believe, but the sooner we learn, the better.
If you want kids, please have them, just be sure and ready.
It's a hard journey.
Raising my dog has been stress enough.
Maybe if some of you hear why others don't want kids, you'll appreciate yours more.
Redditor Celestialsmoothie28 wanted to discuss why many of us don't want to bring a new generation into the world, so they asked:
"People who don't want kids, why?"
I will never have kids. You're all welcome.
Who Cares?
Season 4 No GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Why would I want kids? Personally, I can’t think of a single compelling reason to have them. Kids deserve a parent who wants them, not someone who just tolerates them."
Worried-Medicine-664
“test out”
"Kids are a lifelong commitment to raise and care for another human, and I don’t think I’m capable of handling that. I like kids, but I don’t think I could raise one well, so I’m not going to try."
boymanpal
"Agreed. Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child. For those who think 'if you never try you never know”' are just plain selfish. So you’re gonna bring a kid to this world just to 'test out' if you can be a good parent?"
"You should know yourself better than anyone beforehand, whether you can be a good parent. I certainly not gonna use a person’s life for my own amusement since I know I wouldn’t be able to give the best to the child."
pronocturnalfreak
Learn Sooner
"I grew up with a brother 10 years younger than i am. Went from changing his diapers to teaching him how to mod Minecraft."
"Left to go to college. I call him nearly every night, and we still watch anime an play video games together through discord calls."
"I already had my kid. He's called my little brother. Just wish I understood my family's financial situation sooner."
oxidezblood
Be Prepared
be prepared the lion king GIFGiphy"As a parent, I always tell people that wanting the responsibility is the most important part. My baby daddy and I separated, but we co-parent so well, people are always shocked. We work together well because we both know we planned to have a child and raise her together, despite the status of our personal relationship."
kailsbabbydaddy
The responsibility! The biggest lesson of all.
My Life... My Rules
freedom GIFGiphy"I enjoy freedom, I enjoy my relationship exactly as it is, I have a major fear of being pregnant, I like having money. Oh and I don’t like babies or kids. The reasons are endless."
Feeling_Ad_2354
Issues of a Saint
"I struggle with anxiety and anger issues and I wouldn’t want to pass that on to my child or have them have to grow up dealing with my anxieties and anger episodes. I just couldn’t do it and it wouldn’t be fair to them. Plus it’s real expensive. I’d rather have a life of peace and quiet and travel to figure myself out. To the moms: you guys are tough saints."
shoppingforthemoon
Stability Fail
"I have back and hip issues that would have made carrying a child (and then also literally carrying a child) difficult. I like my free time and expendable income. I didn't feel like I was in a stable enough place financially, wasn't with the right partner at the right time, never had baby fever."
"I look around at the world, and have no desire to bring another life into this s**t show."
wirwarennamenlos
Today's Drama
"In this economy?"
besameput0
"I'd also like to add. Into this world? Our age pyramid is upside down. Only way to fix to is either by overpopulation, or bracing for difficult times for a while until it fixes itself."
"It isn't like I dislike children, at work I love to take care of them. But I don't have the heart to bring in any more. Otherwise, if my life situation would be better, I would totally love to foster or adopt. There are so many children who don't get parents."
Valtremors
Just... WHY?!
Why Me Crying GIF by Team CocoGiphy"Why would I want one? I get that it is the social default, but in a vacuum it sounds terrible. I barely feel like I have my sh*t together, and I never feel like I have enough time to do the things I want to do."
"Why would I want to give up on my free time entirely to raise a kid? Children are fine in small doses, but they are exhausting, stressful and the benefits seem minimal. I guess the biological drive skipped me."
notaninjashhhhh
Not everybody is meant to be a parent.
Know your truth.
People Confess Whether The Number Of Someone's Previous Sexual Partners Matter To Them While Dating
Sex. Let's have a frank discussion.
Most of us have it. And many of us have had it with several different people over time.
That shouldn't be a difficult truth to discuss.
So let's talk numbers.
Do we all have a number that is too high to accept from a partner?
Are the numbers none of our business as long everything turned out fine?
Reddit had some thoughts.
Redditor LaRata59 wanted to discuss everybody's past sexual history, so they asked:
"Does the amount of sexual encounters your partner has had matter to you? Why or why not?"
If you're willing to be intimate with a partner, you should be open to having difficult conversations.
Keep Quiet
Amy Schumer No GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"I don’t mind, but ten minutes after sex I don’t want to hear your last girlfriend was 24 when you’re 42. Or hear how awesome sex was with your ex-wife, or how great sex was in Guam with your ex-girlfriend."
amscraylane
Painful Partners
"I would care only because my wife and I have been together since high school and we both should have 1 partner each... each other. So if that's not true it would be a problem."
TreesusChrist47
"Same here but 4 years a go my wife had a brief affair and I'm still struggling to get past it since we are still together (of sorts)."
jimbojetset35
"Me too. I found out 2 years ago. I think about it every day, I’m definitely not past it. We are still together and have been for 18 years. It has really destroyed me."
makerofshoes
I was convinced...
"So long as they haven't run through my entire friend group, I don't care."
"A few years ago, I started to worry about a girl in our friend group that I suspected of having an eye on my boyfriend at the time. I expressed that to him, and he reassured me of the fact that he had several girlfriends and that he was not attracted to her anyway."
"She was single and she liked to party a lot. He concluded by telling me 'anyways that girl, she slept with all my friends.' I was convinced. Well, guess what, he's now married and has two kids with her."
non_brad
Who Cares?
Eddie Murphy Whatever GIF by Coming to AmericaGiphy"As long as the count doesn't continue increasing during the relationship, it doesn't matter at all. I have a past, too."
Odd-You-6869
Who cares? Carry on...
Be Silent
not listening stephen colbert GIFGiphy"No but also don't want to know, so I never ask."
Male-37-Hi
"Yeah, as long as you're clean and not comparing me to past lovers. Also, I sure as f**k don't want to hear about them. I'm very visual, so I'm not trying to picture your previous sexcapades, thank you.
Wednesdayofthewoods
'wild period'
"I was seeing a girl that had a lot of guy friends. It would come to light that she had slept with all of them at one point. Co-workers, long time friends, boyfriends of her girlfriends etc. It's unnerving socially to know that so many people in the social circle you're joining has been with the person you're trying to have a relationship with."
"It would also come to light that she had a 'wild period' where she would hook up with 3-4 random guys in a week. I thought it was in the past so I looked the other way. But things like trauma, dissociation during intimacy, trust issues, bad boundaries with the opposite sex, judgment over your own sexual appetite etc were all becoming an issue."
"She eventually cheated while visiting family back home with someone she said had abused her physically and mentally. A lot of the times, it is a sign of someone who has serious mental health issues or very low self worth. Either case does not result in a healthy relationship and you should tread lightly."
HereToBeRated
Just Numbers
"No, to a point. To me, the past only matter in its ability to catch up to the present. If someone has had sex with 50 people but it never has a negative effect on our life together and she still enjoys sex with me, then it’s not a problem."
"However if someone has had sex with 5 people and all 5 are frequently coming back into her life and causing drama for both of us, or if she can’t enjoy sex with me due to comparing it to a past partner, then that it is an issue."
"So to me it’s not the number, but the affect of the number. With that being said, it’s not something I would ask about because typically if the past is going to be a problem there are better warning signs."
TheNatanist
Collections
"For me, a very introverted person, sex is one of the most intimate things in a relationship. And if the other person doesn't need the same emotional connection beforehand. I would feel just like another body in their 'collection.' But also I don't shame anybody partaking in the hookup culture. It's just not something for me."
justshynotathrowaway
Be Sure
Is This Thing On Bob GIF by RedbrickGiphy"It does not matter to me however I’m still be cautious of STD/STI; so I’d prefer they get tested before we have sex."
OddReputation3765
The past is the past. Maybe let it be.
Redditors Explain Which Types Of People Get Treated With Less Sympathy Than They Deserve
CW: domestic violence.
People carry biases and false beliefs with them about a broad spectrum of things.
Unfortunately, some of those beliefs involve people, and those beliefs can limit or even hurt them.
Redditor anthropocener47 asked:
"What kind of people often get treated with less sympathy?"
"Just Lose Some Weight," They Say
"People who are overweight."
"There is this perception that all of my issues are because I am overweight."
- grumpydinosaur77
Male Survivors
"I'm a male who has been a victim of Domestic Violence, and let me tell you: People not only don't take you seriously, but they'll actually put you down."
"They'll talk s**t about you. They'll say you deserved it. They'll belittle you for getting beat up by a girl; god help you if you actually physically defended yourself in any situation where you were getting assaulted by a woman."
"The most I've ever done is restrain a woman when she was beating on me. And I've had people tell me that this was going 'too far' and that I should have just stood there and taken it. And I am NOT a little guy, which seems to make things worse."
"If you get your a** kicked, you're a b***h. If you defend yourself, you're the abuser. There's absolutely no winning in that situation."
"There is 100% no sympathy for male victims of domestic violence. It's sickening how uniformly society acts regarding this topic."
- ImPrblyWeird
Angry PTSD
"People who lose their temper when desperately trying to get people to understand that they have been abused."
"It’s actually a serious problem in courts that abuse victims look crazy and unstable because they do normal human things like express emotion and are often quite emotional and anxious after their abuse so they are perceived as untrustworthy, shifty, easily confused, erratic and liars."
"Meanwhile, their abuser is calm and collected and charming and comes off very well because why wouldn’t they, none of this affects them. They just lie and get away with it and are believed that they are the stable one and their victim is crazy and the real abuser."
- badgersprite
Those Seeking Self-Improvement
"People who made some bad choices in the past and are trying to better their lives."
- Ok_Win7358
The Bullied Kids
"Kids who are bullied."
"'Well, I didn’t see it happen.' No, because he did it when you weren’t looking. That’s the point."
- Pro_Gamer_Queen21
The Elderly
"As a kid, I visited my grandparents in assisted living facilities several times a week. These were dementia wards where no one knew who anyone was. No one knew where they were or why they were there."
"Easily 90% of the time, we were the only family there. No one visited their crazy parents because it was scary and depressing."
"It’s really fueled my wish to study dementia and work with people who have it. Often they have no one to look out for them."
- an_ineffable_plan
Smile More
"People that don't smile. My best friend is an absolute angel of a person but I've only seen him smile a few times over the last seven years. Traumatic events are a motherf**ker."
- rockonyou717
Chronically Ill
"Chronically ill and disabled people who don’t get 'better' after a few months (because that’s not how chronic illness or disability f**king works)."
- SolidChildhood5845
Themselves to Blame
"People with Lung Cancer or Type 2 Diabetes. The 'you did this to yourself' attitude."
- kategoad
An Unfair System
"People who stutter. People who are quiet. People with social anxiety. People who can’t speak English well. Men who don’t earn. Men who earn less. Women who can’t conceive. People with mental disabilities."
- Painkiller124
"People in 'unskilled' positions. Sure, a burger flipper or custodian doesn’t need a college degree, but unskilled does not equal not hard work."
"Having to prepare so much food in little time, deal with rude customers, and cleaning up stuff. The number of stories of people smearing poop on the walls. The stuff these people go through, people should feel sympathy."
- guzhogi
Mental Illness on the Job
"I have BPD (Bipolar Disorder) and have suffered from depression for over 20 years."
"I've been applying for jobs lately where it asks for disability declaration and specifically mentions mental illness and I still have a hard time selecting it for fear of not being believed or it costing me the job."
- Clayroo
Severe Anxiety
"I had a hard time sympathizing with people who suffer from severe anxiety. My attitude was always 'just deal with it, stress is temporary.'"
"Last summer there was a series of events that triggered unprecedented anxiety for me, I didn't eat for days at a time, barely slept, and could barely function at work. It was absolutely debilitating and felt completely uncontrollable."
"A week on vacation helped but it came back as soon as I got home. So I went to my doctor and he prescribed a few meds, which helped a lot."
"Now I understand that kind of crippling anxiety, and I'm a lot more sympathetic to those who struggle to manage it."
- EncanisUnbound
Invisible Illness
"I LOOK so incredibly healthy. But I'm not. I'm crippled for life, and I'm in pain from it until it kills me. I keep quiet about it, because I don't want attention on it and I don't like to waste my energy making noise about it."
"But some people who find out are very weird about it."
"I look like a cherub. A cute young girl, with rosy cheeks, a lil chubby, very short, with a baby face. And seemingly healthy as heck."
"In reality, I'm a grown woman who is crippled as f**k, in agony most days, has hidden open sores under my hair, and arthritis in every joint including my neck and spine."
"I'm on more medications than both your grandparents combined. We're probably on some of the same ones. And for some of the ones I'm on, their doctor would refuse to give them."
"I might not live very long. But I also might, hard to say."
"But those times I have to fight to be treated like a person really and truly suck. Because My pain makes other people feel uncomfortable."
- littlegingerfae
The Poor
"There's a real disdain towards poorer people like they should magically be able to make more money."
"For lots of people, they have disadvantages that make that more difficult, like a lack of education or support, lack of time, illness or disability, or even just being stuck in a neverending cycle and having to time/money/ability to get themselves out."
"For some others, they prioritize other parts of life over money, and there's nothing wrong with making that choice for yourself."
- cmc
The subReddit was left collectively shaking its head as the community thought about the various people who are often undervalued, underappreciated, and under-supported, simply because of who they are.
But the worst truth is that so many of these situations are unavoidable, like growing older or being ill. Even for those that could be corrected with time, like having more money, it would only make sense that supporting that person more would allow them to change their situation more quickly.
If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, help is available 24/7 at the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233. You can also find additional support and resources on their website: https://www.thehotline.org/
Men Explain How They'd Honestly React If Their Friend Came Out To Them
Coming out of the closet is an inconvenient rite of passage for anyone who has been suppressing their authentic selves for the comfort of their heterosexual acquaintances.
While there have been some advances made regarding LGBTQ+ visibility with role models who are out, it's still impossible to predict friends' reactions.
This is exactly why some tend to reconsider declaring their sexual identity.
Curious to hear from straight males online about what their reactions might be, Redditor Glittering-Ask-7298 asked:
"Men of reddit, what would you do if you found out your homie is gay?"
Some guys really appreciated hearing the news.
No Fanfare
"Nothing...I had this happen actually. I said congrats at first but then said 'that was a stupid response it's not like you're getting married.' We both laughed about my response and I told him I'm glad he felt comfortable telling me and that nothing changes between us if he thought it would."
– HUGE_duck_boots
It Started With A Homophobic Sister
"Had this happen to me as well. He’s been (and is still) one of my best friends since childhood. I had no idea, other than I had noticed he really never dated anyone to my knowledge. One day, I called his sister out for some homophobic stuff she posted on Facebook (I think it was about Lil Nas X), because I distinctly remembered her having several girlfriends in high school."
"My buddy texted me to send a virtual high-five and came out to me. I told him that it had honestly never occurred to me but made a lot of sense. He then went on to explain he had been in some relationships but kept them private for obvious reasons. I told him it meant a lot being one of the only people from our small town that he’s opened up to."
– CasperTek
Michael, We Know
"A buddy of mine years ago came out to a whole group of us at a dinner once and we were just like, 'uhhh... Yeah, Michael, we know.' And then like 10 minutes later one of the group just goes 'WAIT! Hold on. Michael, dude, did you just come out to us? Were you not out before??' Apparently he was not, or at least he didn't intend to be..."
– CO420Tech
Some straight male friends deserve more credit.
Heat Of The Moment
"My buddy came out to one of my friends. He pulled him a side at like an airport when they were traveling or something. Of course he never pulled someone aside IRL like that, so it seemed pretty nuts. And he and was like, 'I have something important I have to tell you. I'm gay.'"
"My friend was like, 'Jesus f'king christ. That's it? Don't scare me like that! I thought you were gonna tell me you had cancer or something.' Of course in the moment it was nothing but love for my pal, showing he was going to be loved and accepted. And that him being alive and in his life was what mattered most."
– ConvenienceStoreDiet
My Best Friend Isn't Dying
"My best friend did the same to me. I was living overseas and he told me he needed to talk to me about something important but we had a 13 hour time difference. I was so stressed thinking he was dying or something. Came out and I was like 'oh okay! You had me thinking you were dying of cancer!' We still joke about how dramatic it all was. Our group as a whole suspected he was gay but were letting him figure it out and tell us in his own time!"
– WhosThatLady9
Not A Big Deal
"My best friend came out in high school and was so worried about what people would think of him. He cried when I told him I accept him regardless of what his sexual or gender preferences are. I didn't really do anything about it because I'm not a homophobe :P"
– AdministrativeWar594
Here's the thing about true homies.
Added Benefit To The Friendship
"Most of my homies are gay. They help me not look homeless when we go out for dinner 😁."
– avero34
The Misconception
"Honestly that's the big fear of gay guys when coming out to their straight homie, like they'll just walk away from the friendship or be really unsupportive but if he does that he was never a homie to begin with."
– grandwizardElKano
Continue Being The Best Man
"this happened with my best friend actually. He was terrified to tell me, and in retrospect it saddens me because it meant I made him feel like there was a chance I would judge him for it. He's still my best friend today and was the best man at my wedding, so the answer is, continue to be the best friend you can be."
– IStanHam
Some levity goes a long way.
Calling Out His Relationship Status
"Stop making jokes about him not having a girlfriend and start making jokes about him not having a boyfriend."
– seafoamteal
Wicked Humor
"I had this happen to me, as well. I was like 'OH MY GOD, YOU EVIL GAY MAN! YOUR GAYNESS IS CAUSING ALL THE CROP FAILURES BECAUSE IT DISPLEASES THE LORD!' And then, naturally, we sacrificed him so that the rains would come."
– ultranothing
It turns out that LGBTQ+ people generally don't have much to fear when it's time to come out on their own terms to friends.
Their reactions will either reinforce the fact that the friendship has always been authentic or superficial.
If coming out results in revealing the latter example, well, it was time to clean house anyway.
Keep the real homies close. They'll always have your back.