We all make boneheaded financial decisions from time to time. Think about it: Wouldn't you rather go out to dinner one too many times rather than do something like blow money on an expensive car?
It all sucks, right? Today's burning question came from ThunderFuckMountain who asked the online community: "What is the worst thing you've ever spent money on?"
We're wincing.
"I bought a business that went under."
I bought a business that went under. Ended up having to file bankruptcy. But that doesn't piss me off as much as last week I bought feta cheese that expired over a week before.
"I dodged the bullet there."
A ring for my cheating ex gf. I have never seen either of them since I found out. I dodged the bullet there.
"There have been many times..."
There have been many times where I've been in an unfamiliar place and super hungry. Went somewhere to eat and it was god awful.
Pittsburgh pizza place next to Lava Lounge, I'm looking at you.
"My first pack of cigarettes."
My first pack of cigarettes. Was a "just when drinking" smoker, and don't remember a specific time I decided to buy a whole pack and become an everyday smoker, but goddamn what a horrible purchase. Pack-a-day smoker for 7 years.
I'm now 8 months cigarette free.
"The college degree I didn't want..."
The college degree I didn't want in a field I wasn't interested in because I was "supposed" to be that person.
"The secret message?"
When I was a kid I used to read mad magazine, one time they came out with a cover that had part of a message on it and you had to buy more magazines to read the message. My two sisters and I really wanted to find out the message, and being greedy kids we didn't want to share magazines. So we made our mom buy us each the four copies that had the secret message.
It wasn't until after they were bought and we were home that we realized they were all the same issue of the magazine just with different covers, so we ended up with 9 copies of the same magazine.
The secret message? "Cheap marketing gimmick"
"When I was a kid..."
When I was a kid, my family was pretty poor. When I first started school, I was on a free lunch plan, and I always saw these snacks that were brown, long, and skinny, and they were $0.35 each. I never asked my parents for money for these things, but whenever I found pennies on the street I'd keep them for a rainy day. I decided one day that I would spend my money on one of these "Slim Jims".
So the next day I gathered all my pennies up into my pocket and somehow I managed not to lose a single one, even through recess. When I got to the end of the line I sheepishly laid my pennies out on the counter and purchased one, walked to my seat, opened the package, and prepared for a bite into this slim jim chocolatey goodness.
Now, some of you have already caught on to what a huge mistake I've made. See, "Slim Jim" is a brand of beef jerky, and chocolate... well, chocolate is not beef jerky. So you can imagine my disgust when I bit into my chocolate, and instead got not-chocolate.
So that was the worst 35 cents I ever spent.
"When I was younger..."
When I was younger, I was devoted to this one brand of all-natural bar soap. The soap company was going to discontinue a few of their scents, and it so happened that the scents were all amongst my favourites. The company put the discontinued scents on sale and I decided I was going to stock up. I bought probably about $300 CAD worth of it in big, uncut slabs. Years later (>5 yrs) I still haven't gotten through it. Have had to start giving it away. Also, $300 on soap?! What was I thinking? I mean, sure, I'll never have to buy soap again... but holy sh!t. And now I am sooo tired of using the same soaps!
"A boneless banquet box..."
A boneless banquet box from KFC.
A few soggy pieces of chicken and fries, and I was still hungry afterwards. I wrote off KFC after that.
"A Windows phone."
Giphy
A windows phone. It would crash when it received a call, rendering me unable to actually take any calls.
"Night vision binoculars..."
Night vision binoculars off Amazon. They were the equivalent of X-ray glasses from a mad magazine ad.
"I hate killing things..."
Humane Spider/bug catcher.
I hate killing things if I can avoid it so I thought it would be great to catch spiders and release them outside ..only problem is that it doesn't work. Most spiders are too small for it to grab in the first place and the ones you are able to grab can easily crawl out of the bristles and straight up the handle to your hand which then causes you to freak the f--- out and kill the spider. Worthless product.
"Dinner at a Mexican place..."
Dinner at a Mexican place that should frankly be ashamed of itself. If you're going to have a menu item that's basically "Tacos for white people", the rest of your food better be damn good.
The salsa was basically marinara, that's how not spicy it was. None of the meat was at all seasoned. The rice was dry and had no taste. The chile relleno was just...mushy and sad. Etc. etc.
In fact, some mistakes are so astronomical that they're remembered for decades afterwards, leaving the one who made the mistake a legacy of being a dumba**. Here are a few of them!!!
U/ronjans24 asked: What was the biggest mistake in human history?
Some may argue that the existence of the Universe was a mistake. I disagree. It was clearly Zayn leaving One Direction. But these next few were pretty bad too.
If you do the math, this is also the reason why Hentai exists.
I'll say the wrong turn Franz Ferdinand's driver made that went right in front of Gavrilo Princip.
EDIT: yes I'm aware war may still have broken out even if Franz Ferdinand wasn't assassinated
Imagine you're Gavrilo Princip. The assassination plot you and your friends had been cooking up for about the last year or so has been a complete and total disaster, just a monumental f*ck-up of the highest degree. You're staked out at this deli thinking maybe, just maybe the car will pass by, and by some stroke of sheer luck, it does.
If you're Princip, this is nothing short of serendipity.
Petition to return to the ocean.
Ocean Surf GIFGiphy"Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans."
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams
This was, in fact, a monumental mistake.
Sears not beating Amazon to the punch.
Blockbuster not buying Netflix.
You thought THOSE were bad? Well gear up for their next few, because they are 100% accurate. Except the one about Cats, that movie slaps.
I don’t know sports, but sure.
Seahawks not running it.
I used to wear a Seahawks jersey whenever I took a test because I knew I would pass when I shouldn't.
CATS is great, y'all are just boring.
GiphyThe Emoji Movie.
That live action movie about Cats is also up there.
Very fair point.
Social Media.
Humans are not wired to have that many social interactions and maintain that many relationships. Plus the echochambers it allows people to create for themselves, no matter how conspiratorial or vile their beliefs, means that stupid/evil people are no longer shunned into changing their mind.
Not sure it was worth being able to see what a celebrity had for lunch or what new "dance" your younger cousin and her tween friends are doing.
But in all seriousness, some horrible things may now have happened if the right thing was halted at the right time.
Washington called it.
George Washington Disney GIF by Hamilton: An American MusicalGiphyVoting for people based on what side of the political spectrum they're on. George Washington himself advised against political parties because he thought they would cause too much division in this country. Unfortunately for everyone, he was right.
Big oops on that one.
Barack Obama mocking Donald Trump at the Correspondents Dinner might have led directly to his 2016 run....
"Now, I know that he's taken some flak lately, but no one is happier, no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than The Donald," Obama said. "And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter — like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?"
Then he turned serious: "But all kidding aside, obviously, we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience. For example — no, seriously, just recently, in an episode of 'Celebrity Apprentice' — at the steakhouse, the men's cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks. And there was a lot of blame to go around. But you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. And so ultimately, you didn't blame Lil Jon or Meatloaf. You fired Gary Busey. And these are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night. Well handled, sir. Well handled."
This is the best Star Wars and no one can change my mind.
I'll take 'Star Wars Christmas Special' for $100.
That atrocious pile of manure gave us Boba Fett, so without the Christmas Special there won't be The Mandalorian.
Wow, in this article, I openly admitted my love for Cats AND The Star Wars Holiday Special. So maybe my existence was the biggest mistake of all.
ANYWAY, I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you all feel a little bit better about yourself. Because when push comes to shove, at least you didn't accidentally start World War I