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People Share The Worst Marriage Proposal Stories They've Ever Heard

What's up with public marriage proposals? I certainly wouldn't want that kind of pressure. But even those aren't the weirdest kind. How about popping the question on a game show? Or pretending to break up with someone, only to propose? And I can't even get a text back...

Champagne_tatertots asked: What's the worst marriage proposal story you've ever heard?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


Dad - subtlety master.

My parents. They were in the produce section of a grocery store when my dad says "all our friends are getting married we should too."

My mom thinking he was joking just said yea and moved on with shopping. A couple days later she got to thinking about it and with the serious way he said it had her confused.

She goes to him and asks if it was a serious question or if he really was just kidding around. He responds with "well yea I thought we were engaged now" 34 years later and they're still married.

craziekitty

"I say what I mean and I mean what I say" - your dad

Metal-Butterfly

Couples goals.

Clemen11

Next time just stick with "hi mom."

I remember seeing a YouTube video about a guy who proposed on some light-hearted late night game show or something. Everyone was getting into the fun, happy, late-night vibe except the woman, who had a look of pure horror on her face. Eventually she whispers "Can we.....can we talk about this later? Please?"

The juxtaposition between the humiliated couple and the cheesy party backing music, just made it hilariously tragic.

MisterMarcus

I think I remember that. I think they had only been dating for a month and the lady was wigged out.

Dr_Drew_727

Reminds me of the scene from the office when Michael asks Carol to marry him.

butter12420

No.

Spiderman 3

would you like some champagne?

Oh don't cry

How'd that get in there huh?

Argoniphile

"You're trash Brock."

ezrajack4205

If you wanna say no, say no.

I had a Disneyland proposal. My ex and I went there for Christmas after 4 months of dating. 2nd day we were waiting in line for the haunted Mansion, and he suggested we get a pic on the steps.

I'm standing there trying to smile for a picture and he gets down on one knee and goes at it while a cast member takes a video. People are noticing and cheering for us. I was totally blindsided.

I felt like I had no choice but to say yes, even though I really did not want to. The ring was given to him by a friend, and was ugly, not my style, and not even close to my size.

When we got home he manipulated me into letting him move in with me and I was stuck with him for another year until I managed to move myself away, get some distance, and leave him. It was terrible. I should have risked him leaving me on the side of the road in California instead.

caffeinec*nt

This story sucks, but not because of you, but the way you were pressured into it. A proposal should be private!

eddyathome

I don't know the specifics but it kind of seems like the whole situation would've been fixed by just saying no.

Also if a guy gets you an ugly ring it means he doesn't love you.

Boneless_Blaine

Gotta admire the courage.

Our 6th grade English teacher told us of how a kid found a ring in the parking lot and proposed to her.

AllergictoCake

"Bold move Cotton."

ibbity

"Let's see if it pays off."

ScorpionX-123

Um ok.

I'm on good terms with one of my ex-girlfriends, so I got to hear this story of how her husband proposed to her:

They were sitting around their apartment one day and he asks her, "hey, can you get my phone from the bedroom?" Okay, she gets his phone for him.

A minute passes. "Hey, can you get me a glass of water?" She gets him a glass of water. Another minute passes. "Hey, can you bring me that pair of socks on top of my dresser?"

She gets the socks. The ring is in the socks. He proposes. He actually thought he was being romantic. She thought it was weird as f*ck.

Even weirder, she said yes, and they've been married for more than ten years.

Exaggeration17A

This is so weird and funny! What's with the lead up of making her get other things first?

purpleberrypoptart

Maybe he forgot which mundane item he'd stashed the ring in.

ninjavenna

"Huh.... not the socks.... bring me the cat."

Demderdemden

Sounds like a totally healthy relationship.

My buddy's girlfriend kept telling him that he couldn't surprise her. After college, they were planning to move together to another town.

About 6 months before graduation, he told her he wasn't sure about the move or their relationship. She turned around to cry. He called her name, and when she turned back, he was on one knee. Did it to surprise her.

debod49

I'm not sure I want to be your boyfriend anymore...

BECAUSE I WANT TO BE YOUR HUSBAND!

sealwalksintoclub

This guy's a douche don't marry him.

A friend of my sister had specifically told her boyfriend she hated public proposals and didn't want a bunch of people there, so what does he do but gather their entire extended family to do it. Ugh.

murderousbudgie

Did she say yes still? I would take that at as a red flag for marriage

georgeenagin

They'd been together for years. He's actually a good guy, just committed this one egregious faux pas.

murderousbudgie

She said no? Good.

One day he drives her to a surprise location for a date. He takes her to this random house in the suburbs with a dog tied up in the front lawn.

He then proceeds to propose and explain how her bought the house of their dreams, dog included, and how they could raise their children here.

The woman (my friend) was so flabbergasted that all she said was something like "wtf, you bought a house and a dog without even telling me?"

He thought he was making this grand romantic gesture, but she was super annoyed that he had apparently arranged their whole lives without even asking for her input.

Needless to say she said no. Last I heard he lived in the house for a bit and then sold it for a loss. No mention of the dog, but I'm hoping it wound up with a good family.

Lil-Maece

Think fast before you say yes.

My dad walked through the living room and tossed a ring at my mom. 27 years married btw.

pro185

"Hey babe, think fast!" chucks ring box at girlfriend.

CloverGreenbush

Nice, Gram.

My grandmother stopped a bad proposal;

After a great night out, my grandfather said "the ring is in the glove box, if you want it"

She demanded he get out of the car and propose like a man. They were married for 60+ years.

TheShoeOnTheHighway

How romantic.

Apparently when a friend of mine and his girlfriend got engaged it was because they were arguing in a restaurant and he just said "DO YOU JUST WANT ME TO PROPOSE TO YOU?!".

She apparently took that as an actual proposal and talked about how cute it was to other people. She was a bridezilla during the whole planning stage, they DID get married, and then she admitted that she had cheated on him with an old college boyfriend and was moved out of their apartment before they even hit the 6 month mark.

And people were shocked when his best friend said that he would not give them their blessing... sounds like dude was right not to.

AncientPotential

My teeth itch.

Me and my sister went to watch twilight new moon when it first came out and when we walked into the theatre this guy and girl were up in front of the whole theatre giving a speech about how she was his lamb and he was a lion a la first twilight cringe Edward speech to Bella.

He proposed, she said yes, and they then proceeded to sit down and watch that mess of a movie. I was shook and I still feel the cringe to this day. It wasn't even a nice theatre lmao

FetchingOliver

What year is it again?

I CAN ACTUALLY ANSWER THIS ONE (but it's actually a really sad answer)

My housemate just told me about how one of her friends back home just got engaged.

My housemate comes from a *very* religious community. Like, they have their own shops, restaurants, their own college. They used to have their own high school but it got shut down for some reason.

Anyway, the friend's fiancé proposed to her 20+ times over the course of several months. The church encouraged him to keep on harassing her, and the church shamed her into giving in.

They told her that it was her "duty" as a woman to get married and have children, and that she was getting too old anyway (she's 27!).

Eventually the friend broke down and agreed to marry him. All of her female friends, her sister and her mother are all trying to convince her not to go through with it, but she's made up her mind.

I think they're getting married in April.

Gottscheace

the friend's fiancé proposed to her 20+ times over the course of several months. The church encouraged him to keep on harassing her, and the church shamed her into giving in. They told her that it was her "duty" as a woman to get married and have children, and that she was getting too old anyway (she's 27!).

Yikes. I feel so bad for her.

nonconformistnugget

I do too. It's a really sad situation.

I think the saddest part is that she's started to believe what the church told her. She says that breaking off the engagement would be "selfish, because it would be denying her fiancé a wife."

Gottscheace

Awww.

Not bad, just so so silly, and it's all mine

My husband and I had gone to our favorite lake, and he was beyond nervous. I knew it was coming because he's just not able to surprise me lol.

So we get to our spot, and he just stands there shivering with me on his arm, looking over the lake and watching a pair of geese mosey around near us.

Eventually, he asked me if he should pick up a stick that was laying nearby to throw at the geese. My "wtf no?!" shriek startled the geese to go into the water and lazily swim away.

After a few more minutes, he stuttered, "so.. uhh, you wanna marry me?" I knew it was coming, but still my mind went blank, and I replied after staring at him for a minute, "well duh". So we're definitely meant for each other!

He later told me the suggested goose assault was his panicked minds' idea to get him on his knee. What a goof, he didn't have a ring and that just wasn't our style anyway.

We were together 6 years at the time and had been discussing marriage for a while, so his fear was pretty unfounded lol

Married 2 years now, he's my forever person, and now I subconsciously associate geese with romance 😂 ❤

Grace1essCrane

Why not, right?

I know I'm late but I think my wife and I qualify. We were living together, I was working full time and in school, she's working 3-11 shift and 7 months pregnant.

She just had a health scare and we were laying in bed on Tuesday morning discussing that if something happened to her, her abusive father could, potentially gain custody of our child.

Finally, laying there, I looked at her and said "you know, if we were married it wouldn't be an issue". She said, "are you serious" and I replied with "yes." She thought about it for a minute and said, "sure, let's do it."

We looked at our schedules and decided we would shower and go and get our marriage license before she had to go to work. I found a Justice of the Peace that would perform our ceremony the following Sunday (5 days later).

We told our immediate family who we wanted to attend (my Mom and best friend, her sister, Aunt, and best friend). Somehow, my mother made my wife's dress in 5 days.

Sunday we were married in an old, run down courtroom by a very nice JoP. Then we had our friends over for pizza and soda.

March will be 20 years.

bosefius

Dad moves fast.

Not really a bad story, but we tease our parents for it all the time. My dad basically told my mom he wanted to marry her the night they met at a party hosted by my aunt (dad's sister).

My mom was like "heehee okay" and they started dating pretty much immediately. Keep in mind they didn't really know each other beforehand, and this dialogue happened after a few drinks.

Later, my dad "proposed" to her with a ring he made out of a napkin while waiting for her to show up to a dinner date, and they made it official with an engagement ring they found together at an antique store.

They're still happily married today with 4 kids (including me), so I guess all's well that ends well.

Somewhat of a cute story, but they're both lucky it worked out, haha.

lemonlimee

Smooth.

My sister's husband proposed to her by sitting next to her, taking out the ring, sliding it over to her, and saying "here".

She's really big on romantic proposals. She would have loved the whole restaurant reservation, tapping the glass, proposal speech, and getting on one knee scene.

So it kind of crushed her because it seemed like he didnt make an effort. Not sure what his perspective is.

[deleted]

Yes or no, right now.

This isn't a terrible proposal but more one with a funny twist. My parents where celebrating New Year and my dad in the emotion of the moment said to my mom that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her that why didn't they get married.

There was no ring... Just the thought and the moment. My mom said she was going to think about it. After a month of not mentioning the topic again and my dad all anxious about what did she have to think so much about, asked her if she had already had enough time to think.

She asked "about what?"... Dad: "about we getting married" to which my mom answered "ohh that was serious?" She then took another month to this time really think about it and said yes. 30+ years now and happily married.

karina_r_w

Fail.

My ex lied that he was going to get deported. Gave me a ring that "was his grandmother's" Which was missing a bunch of stones and not resized.

SuperPheotus

People Break Down The Most Ridiculous Majors They've Ever Heard Of

Reddit user GazelleHistorical705 asked: 'What is the most ridiculous college major you’ve ever heard of?'

College classroom
Dom Fou/Unsplash

Many high school graduates face the conundrum of what to major in when they go on to pursue higher education.

Teens who haven't already sparked an interest in a particular field by the time they graduate wind up buying more time waiting for enlightenment by electing "undecided."

But to avoid any stigma of being an idle scholar, some students settle on majors they thought never existed.

"Fun with pasta," anyone?

While such a major might not exist, I wouldn't put it past some academia for coming up with it.

Curious to hear what those unheard-of specialized fields of study are out there, Redditor GazelleHistorical705 asked:

"What is the most ridiculous college major you’ve ever heard of?"

Majors with one word, please.

Sounds Like A Hard Major

"PENIS. My school offered a major in Political Economy of Newly Industrialized Societies, but eventually realized the acronym and changed the name. Pity. I hope some were able to get their degrees with a concentration in PENIS."

– OhMaiMai

Hidden Objective

"Golf."

"It was made so the Vice Chancellor could buy a private golf course for the university, so he could play on it. I believe it had 5 enrollments ever, and one was a joke that didnt show up or pay. It got cancelled the first year, but he got to enjoy his own personal golf course for some years after."

jadelink88

Just Throwing Ideas

"Frisbee. A friends roommate at Amherst was in some kind of 'create your own major' thing and chose frisbee. His family had momey and college was just a formality."

– hightower65

Certain concepts as a major were hard to grasp.

Seed Of Despotism

"IIRC, like 20 years ago some college in Indiana offered a major in World Domination."

– Rev_Christopheles

"You can only get a job as a henchman with a BS."

"You need a full PhD to be an evil mastermind."

– JimBean823

A Vague Focus

"PhD in general studies."

– dravik

"Tf do you even write your dissertation about."

– Fragile_Line

"Everything."

– ProsciuttoPizza

"Generally."

– cropguru357

Let's Take It Outside

"An old friend has a Bachelor's degree in Outdoor Activities. He was never able to explain exactly what that meant, though."

– EnlargedBit371

"A guy I know majored in Recreation."

– kmsc87

"When I was there, my college had one of the top Parks Recreation and Tourism Management (PRTM) programs in the country."

"It had the nickname 'Party Right Through May.'”

"It was extremely popular with student athletes, especially football players."

"There’s always a demand for graduates too. It seems like one of those fields where you shouldn’t need a college degree to do the work, but you need one to get in the door."

– JimBeam823

Going At Your Own Pace

"When I was in uni my friend dated a guy who was majoring in leisure studies. I used to joke that leisure studies is a 4 year program, but if you’re good enough at it you can do it in 6."

– Mtldoggogogo

Things went up a notch.

Arghhh Ya Kiddin' Me?

"At MIT you can be certified in being a pirate if you complete the courses of pistol, archery, sailing, and fencing."

– yhdreytaweatrst

"It’s not a major, it’s a certificate. But if I ever get my own office it’s going in a very nice diploma frame and I’m gonna see who notices."

– PoorCorrelation

Veritable Hodgepodge

"My university had an Interdisciplinary Studies department that served mainly to get super duper seniors graduated. They would cobble together the random credits people got because they changed majors every semester into a 'degree.' You get some wild majors like a BA in Culinary Traditions and Music in the Former British Empire."

– pinelands1901

Sapphic Education

"My college briefly had a major in Nordic Lesbianism."

– WhizzleTeabags

"I've read many of the responses on here where most of them weren't ridiculous imo but you gave the best one!"

– 90DayTroll

"HUH."

– OP

Make It Up

"At a graduation at the University of Redlands. They have a degree whereby you basically take the classes you want and call it what you want."

"The degree conferred was, I kid you not: 'Still trying to figure out who I am.'”

– dmur726

Clearly there's a major for all occasions.

But at the end of the day, does it really matter as long as you have a BA in something to show you were academically tenacious?

Now go out there and carve out your own path, young scholars!

Just make sure you can pay off those student loans.

Maybe there should be a major on how to avoid debt.

human robot illustration

Possessed Photography on Unsplash

Artificial intelligence (AI) is defined as:

"the theory and development of computer systems able to perform tasks that normally require human intelligence, such as visual perception, speech recognition, decision-making and translation between languages."

AI is broken down into four types—from most basic to most advanced:

  1. Reactive machines
  2. Limited memory
  3. Theory of mind
  4. Self-awareness

The first two—reactive machines and limited memory—currently exist.

Reactive machines AI have no memory—it responds directly to current information. An example is a recommendation based on your streaming activity.

Limited memory looks into the past and monitors specific objects or situations over time, and adds the information to adapt responses. Self-driving cars are a good example of limited memory AI.

The other types—theory of mind and self-awareness—don't exist yet.

Theory of mind AI would be able to understand intentions and predict behavior while adjusting its own responses, simulating human interpersonal relationships.

The final step in AI is self-awareness. These would be systems that have a sense of self, a conscious understanding of their existence.

As AI advances, some human work functions will be done cheaper or more efficiently by AI.

Keep reading...Show less
man and woman holding hands

Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

According to the General Social Survey, 20% of married men and 13% of married women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse.

In the United States, 17% of all divorces cited adultery on the part of either or both parties.

But 70% of married women and 54% of married men reported they didn't know of their spouses’ extramarital affair until their spouse confessed.

And how did the other 30%-46% figure it out?

Keep reading...Show less

I was very fortunate that my parents were able to pay all expensive not only through adolescence but even through college. However, they made it very clear that once I graduated, I was on my own.

I made every effort to make sure I could afford to live once I graduated. I made copies of all the recipes my parents got when they bought stuff for me, and started saving my own receipts, something I didn't do through high school. I calculated monthly expenses and created a budget for the future.

When I graduated, I had accounted for all the big expenses: take-out food, the expensive skin care essentials I needed to keep my acne at bay, and utilities (heat, AC, electricity).

What I didn't realize was that small expenses are not so small. Microwavable meals went up by $2. Gas, which was pretty steady while I was in college, seemed to shoot up daily. And things that don't seem expensive at first glance, such as toilet paper, become big expenses as they add up.

I'm not the only one who had these realizations. Redditors have too, and are eager to share what items they didn't realize were expensive until they became an adult.

It all started when Redditor ForeignReviews asked:

"What item did you not realize was expensive until you became an adult?"

Yummy, Yummy

"Food is both more expensive and goes bad quicker when you're an adult."

– BriSnyScienceGuy

"I know right! I honestly love grocery shopping, so when I started driving I would go grocery shopping when I had the car and so nowadays I do maybe half of the grocery shopping. But, it's just so expensive. I often look for deals and will buy generic/store brand on most items but, still."

"My biggest tip for "goes bad quicker" is to always get from the back, because usually that's where the longer lasting stuff goes and when it's stacked, get from the bottom. When it's stuff with longer shelf life like cereal and canned stuff, I don't usually bother. But I mostly do that with bread and dairy products. My mom taught me that when I was little."

– ariana61104

"Yes! Having to feed yourself and your household is getting too expensive and so tedious. I really admire my mom for making dinner every night when I was growing up. Thankfully I don't have kids so me & my husband are okay with just eating snacks sometimes."

– WildMoonWitch

So Sweet

"My parents split up when I was a kid in the 90s, and I remember going to my dads apartment in another city, and him cooking us steak on the grill. I always loved that."

"Once I moved out I was like "wait steak is how much? Why the hell did Dad keep feeding us this?""

"Then I realised he was eating poverty meals all week to treat his kids on the weekend."

"For his 60th birthday us kids pooled our money and took him to arguably the best fine dining restaurant in my province for the full tasting menu. Seeing him light up at trying things like caviar and truffles for the first time made me realize how much he has sacrificed for us."

"So yeah, steak is expensive."

– KFBass

"You guys are awesome; what a nice story. He raised y'all right."

– Augustus58

Where Do I Sit?

"Gotta be furniture."

– harrisrichard

"When I bought my house I only had a bed in the master bedroom and all my friends kept saying “you make good money just buy furniture, you could have it furnished in a month.” Then they themselves bought houses and now understand why it took me a year to furnish my house."

– Stetikhasnotalent

They Don't Need To Be That Nice!

"Rugs. Why did no one tel me a ‘nice’ rug was $18,000."

– BenSadfleck

"But it really ties the room together."

– alittlec4

"Dude, you could fly to Morocco and get a hand made wool rug for that much. What the heck are you buying?"

– mofukkinbreadcrumbz

"My dog isn’t going to want to butt scoot on anything cheaper than 10k."

– iamaliberalpausenot

Car Accessories

"New tires. Most unexciting $1,000 purchases I have ever made."

– PRCraig

"Also why the hell are oil changes so expensive now!?"

– johnstonb

"Bro fr I swear they were just $20 just a second ago now it’s like $60?? I asked my dad to teach me how to do it myself as a teen and he said it was so cheap that I might as well pay someone else. That didn’t last."

– greeneggiwegs

Walk It Off

"A good pair of shoes will set you back a bit, especially if you need more specialized ones for whatever reason."

– sedition-

Part Of The Family

"Pets."

– TeacherLady3

"They have gotten a lot more expensive due to expected care changing dramatically, and how we feel about them."

"The idea that you would put a pet down because a vet treatment costs too much is horrible now, but was pretty common in the past. Outdoor cats were the norm so they pretty much fed themselves and you had far fewer litter changes - litter was just clay, and you tossed the whole thing."

"Dogs ate table scraps and whatever they hunted down, or cheap as dog feed made of whatever ended up on the slaughter house floor (bones and all)."

"While purebreds were probably still super expensive, most people had a mutt or tabby, that the found/were given, instead of buying."

– RandomChance

"All true. But I waited until I was in my 50's and had raised my kids until I could afford a pet. Like kids, I wasn't going to be a pet owner until I could provide the care they deserve."

– TeacherLady3

The Cost Of People

"Kids."

"I'm amazed how my parents could afford me."

– only_stupid_answers

"My parents had 5 of us. It amazes me to this day, that my fathers paultry salary at the time had to support it all. How the f**k could anyone do that today?"

– The_REAL_McWeasel

Vroom, Vroom

"Cars, all grown-ups had them, maybe even multiple. I still think its insane that some cars are more expensive than a 2 bedroom apartment."

Tommer_nl

"I remember people restoring cars all the time when I was growing up. I would love to do it but even a rough condition rolling rust is super expensive now for even common things people aren’t super after."

Pup5432

"Yeah what the hell!? I feel like everyone's dad (mine included) had a project car that they were tinkering with."

"All of my 'tinkering' is to keep my single, daily driver running!"

disisathrowaway

Shiny Teeth And Me

"My teeth."

– Bumfuzzled_Hobgoblin

"Teeth are luxury bones, don’t ya know? Why on earth would regular health insurance cover them? Hahaha. The fact that vision and dental are separate from the rest of your body is absurd."

– Blackfoxx907

I See You!

"Glasses. I have awful eyesight and an astigmatism and got quite a shock when I had to pay for my own prescription glasses for the first time."

– Heavy_Mycologist_104

Time Flies

"Free time."

"As a kid I had loads of it and gave it away. now I can't afford even a minute !!"

– TokenFeed

"I took a toll road home today for an extra hour of free time and it was the best money I ever spent."

– squidkiosk

What I wouldn't give -- or pay -- for some extra free time!