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Ever encounter people who are annoyingly optimistic about everything? Share these facts with them and bring some pessimistic balance to their lives. Enjoy!


1/34. Worked in a liquor store. The same 25 or so people would come in every day and buy a pint or fifth of vodka. Every day. I would point out to them it is much cheaper over the long run just to buy a gallon. They would mostly shrug and buy their pint or fifth.

I realized later they were high-functioning alcoholics who, knowing they would drink every drop available, just bought what they could consume daily to remain semi functional. When/if they moved up in bottle size you could see the effects in their dress and speech. Many were professionals.
- waynelett

2/34. Spiders molt. When you see a dead spider, there's a good chance that it isn't actually a dead spider, it's just an exoskeleton. The spider is still alive, and it's bigger than before.
- Nosyeye

3/34. There is no Cloud.

It's just some stranger's computer...
-Ahnenglanz

4/34. I told a little girl that dogs live to be around 10 years old, she asked how long Humans lived, I told her around 80. She did the math and a deep set depression set in.
- FatalKoala

5/34. Toddlers don't have kneecaps until they're around 3-5 years old (some sources say ages could range from 2-6 yrs).

It doesn't really ruin the fun for everyone, I just like to see the look on the parent's faces when I tell them their toddler doesn't have kneecaps (actually, the cartilage simply hasn't hardened yet). Then, I watch in sheer delight as they sprint over to their child and feel their toddler's nonexistent kneecaps and wonder what's genetically wrong with them.
- kgraham76

6/34. 50 percent of Americans have average or below average IQs
- reddit_spud

7/34. Most people will eventually get hemorrhoids.
- clone822

8/34. You can be healthy, exercise, live right and still drop dead unexpectedly.
- Ms-Anthrop


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9/34. The little piggy who went to market... wasn't going shopping.
- OneNineRed

10/34. The voice of Optimus Prime and Eeyore are the same person.
- FatGuyMcGillicutty

11/34. Ear wigs can fly.
- Ferg1983

12/34. The search and rescue dogs on 9/11 were literally becoming depressed because they only found dead bodies. Their handlers started taking turns burying themselves in the rubble so the dogs could actually "rescue" someone.
- PyrrhuraMolinae

13/34. Researchers wanted to get a look at a 507 year old clam. When they opened its shell, it died. They killed the oldest living thing at the time.
- KingKarmaTheBtchy

14/34. If you ever play Monopoly, and are playing by the "official" rules don't upgrade to hotels. There are a finite number of housing properties available. Get a group ASAP, fill it up with 4 houses ASAP and let it sit. Continue to buy property, fill em with houses. NEVER upgrade them to hotels, and you will win the game, as the other players will have no source of income compared to you.
- HellsWindStaff

15/34. Pointing out laugh tracks. Playing videos on YT of your friends fave sitcoms with it removed and ask them if they think it is funny, or laugh if there is a real moment of funny and then ask them why they didn't laugh.
- demilitarizdsm


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16/34. Air Bud had a leg amputated due to cancer in 1997, and died from it in 98.
- NaptownSwagger

17/34. Bread is actually unhealthy for ducks. So while feeding them bread, you're slowly killing them.
- Ping938

18/34. Everyone makes fun of the lady who won millions of dollars because of the McDonald's "Caution Hot" coffee cup lawsuit. The temperature of the coffee was scalding on purpose to save money. In reality, she only sued for medical damages at first, but McDonald's offered practically nothing. She was later awarded $640k at the end of the trial, possibly a different amount altogether since it was settled out of court afterwards. It makes me sad that people judge others when they don't know the real story.
- pepsi109

19/34. Right now someone is starving to death. They will die by the time you finish work today.
- Harperlarp

20/34. If you're still in high school right now, the majority of your friends won't even be your acquaintances in the next 6 or so years.
- albert_aisley

21/34. Cats claw at their toys with their hind legs because it's an instinct they still have to disembowel their prey.

- luci_shadow

22/34. Prions exist.

- brisbaneisahole

23/34. Dogs love squeaky toys because it's from their wolf instinct of almost dead prey still whimpering.
- Omipony

24/34. The sun could have already exploded. We wouldn't know for a bit over 8 minutes.
- contrarian_barbarian

25/34. A fun fact I learned from my friend the semi truck driver. If a driver is ahead and sees a cop looking for speeders, they will often radio in to a nearby truck. The trucks will slow down traffic until they pass the cop. I have noticed this a lot since being told, and can usually spot the cop that they're slowing things down for. You guys are the realest.
- fightersfoo


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26/34. Gordon Ramsey thinks girl scout cookies taste like shit.
- kindiana

27/34. There are more juggalos than polar bears.
- Matthewroytilley

28/34. Sugar free gummy bears are a fantastic way to diet.
- Juxen

29/34. In Super Mario 3's "Pick a box. Its contents will help you on your way" Treasure Chest room, your selection DOESN'T IMPACT THE PRIZE. The game coding determines the same prize regardless of which of the 3 is opened.
- AndThatIsAll

30/34. Every year on the anniversary of its arrival, the Mars rover sings happy birthday, to itself, millions of miles from anyone.
- TheRealGunn

31/34. Scientists found a whale that sings at a frequency of 52 hertz, where as the standard for most whales is around 15-25 hertz. This means that this whale cannot communicate with other whales, was found to travel alone, and is pretty much going to be alone forever because of something that they cannot control or change.
- magic1623

32/34. There was a day that your parent set you down and never picked you back up again. You will do the same thing to your own kids.
- OswaldTheLucky

33/34. MEMORY ERRORS. You forget most of what you learn or experience. Most of what you remember is corrupted. Every time you recall something you were lucky enough to remember, you corrupt it more. Also remembering something for the last time happens often. You won't even remember remembering it.
- AWildAnonHasAppeared

34/34. The folds in your asshole are completely unique, similar to fingerprints.

An asshole fact.
- CloudClamour


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