
No one really knows you, save for the people whom you allow into your personal circle. Everything they discern about you comes from the clothes you wear, the way you speak, and sometimes even something as empty as your skin color. This creates a picture in the person's mind, allowing them to "know" you before they know you. However, these misconceptions can sometimes lead to wildly incorrect assumptions about you, which you can then share on the internet.
Reddit user, u/bikechich, wanted to know how someone misunderstood you when they asked:
What was a time someone assumed something about you that was completely wrong?
It's All About The Fingernails
People in high school assumed I was gay based on...I'm not actually even sure. And it wasn't even like them being curious, they straight up assigned that sexuality to me and refused to believe otherwise. The things they would use as "proof" were some of the biggest stretches I've ever heard. One time they took a look at my nails and were like "you paint your nails, you're clearly gay!" My nails weren't painted, it just didn't look like I clawed my way out of a hole with my bare hands. I'm sure some of them still think I'm gay years later.
The reality of the situation is that I just don't talk about the women I'm interested in openly. It doesn't seem like that should be anyone's business except for mine and the woman in question.
Lots Of People Use Canes...Right?
I've been using a walking stick for the last four years due to disability (I'm 33). People have a tendency to confuse walking sticks with the white sticks blind people use (somehow, they look nothing alike), but on top of that my condition makes my eyes extremely light sensitive, so I have to wear sunglasses even in overcast weather.
So now like half the people in the town I live in think I'm blind—an older guy once grabbed my elbow as I was preparing to cross the road, to "assist me"—only I guess some of them have gotten suspicious because they've seen me doing things you need vision for. Once some kids stood in my way as I was out walking, then when I swerved around them started triumphantly yelling about how they had tricked me into revealing that I was faking it. I let them have their moment of satisfaction and didn't say anything.
It's Always The Quiet Ones
All throughout school I was the quiet kid so people had to make up their own stories, since I never interrupted class they figured I was a golden rule follower. In reality I was using my reputation to fly under the radar so I could get away with just about anything because the teachers never thought I would do anything rebellious.
Don't Let My Height Fool You
My age. I've always been short and baby-faced, and growing up that was always a pain.
As I kid, I also seemed uncertain and unsure of myself a lot, so adults who didn't know me always felt like I might be lost, or needed help with something (if that makes sense).
One year, I showed up to my math class a few minutes early on the first day, before everybody else, and the teacher was one who I had never met. She saw me, and clearly thought I was lost. She made a comment that indicated she thought I was in the wrong class, and asked if I was looking for the 4th grade class that was next door.
She was shocked to find out the kid in front of her wasn't actually a 4th grader, but actually a 6th grader in her accelerated 8th grade math class.
Dressed For The Part
I started at a new high school my junior year. For starters, I looked like a hippy. I have very long wavy hair and dressed pretty boyish. Everyone, including the school administrators/nuns, assumed I was a drug dealer of sorts. I had never even seen weed or any drug at that point. I got "randomly" chosen for our schools monthly drug tests several months in a row and periodically there after.
People constantly asked me for hookups or where to find hookups. On the plus side, the other hippy types gravitated and became some lifelong friends of mine, though their proximity to me was still suspicious at the time.
Dude Sounds Lame
Had a friend I was crushing on that I felt liked me too. We were talking online one day and he had to go to work, he says "I'll bbl and then get to spend more time with my favorite Asian."
I asked, "who's that?"
For as long as I knew him he thought I was Asian. Once he found out I wasn't he ghosted me.
ETA: Just to say, I'm Hispanic American lol enough ppl were wondering I figured it was a good enough reason to add it here.
Secretly Listening In
I've shared this before, but I am 100% Mexican, but I don't obviously look it and even though Spanish is my first language, I speak English without an accent.
Back in college I started this job as a delivery driver/cashier at this Japanese restaurant. My first day there I was being trained by a girl that worked there, who was around my age. Most of the kitchen was Mexican or from somewhere in South/Central America where they spoke Spanish. As she is training me and teaching about the orders, I could hear comments from the back that were in the line of "Oh, I bet they're gonna f-ck" and "They want each other." It was funny to me because it was a bunch of grown men gossiping like they were in high school. I didn't really get a chance to talk to them because I was so busy learning the ropes, so I stayed quiet.
At the end of the day the owner asked me if I could could drive the cooks back home since it was on my way. I agreed and we all got in my car and I asked them in Spanish how to get to their place. They were all awkwardly silent for a bit, but then they started laughing and said, "You speak Spanish! Well, sh-t, why the f-ck didn't you say so?"
It became a lighthearted car ride and I enjoyed it and their company. We all became friends during my time working there and I would often drive them home because I enjoyed talking with them outside of work.
There's A Secret Underneath
During high school, like since I was 15, I kept falling asleep in class and looked like sh-t most of the time. Everyone (and I mean everyone, it was a small town) thought I was on drugs. I didn't know what was wrong with me but it felt like I was dying. Turns out I'm type 1 diabetic and didn't get diagnosed until I was 19.
Long Hair, DO Care
As a guy with long hair, people assume I'm a 'slacker' or something. I'm a high school English teacher. When I tell people that it usually catches them off guard.
A Charity Case
I live in a place where one religion dominates the region and it is common for the assumption of everyone being a member. You are kind of treated like a charity case if you aren't a member. I have lived here all my life and it is still constantly assumed that I am a member because I choose not to swear or I eat healthy and usually don't drink. The assumption is there because if you aren't a member you must not be willing to make choices based off of your own merit and not what people tell you is right.
Not Everyone In Service Is Voting For The Pumpkin
I had a bunch of co-workers assume I was a trump supporter because I was in the military. They treated me like ABSOLUTE sh-t for like six months. I couldn't figure it out, I hated my job because everyone hated me for no reason. I literally almost quit over how badly my co-workers treated me.
Eventually we had a conversation about politics and I mentioned something and they were all like "oh we thought you were a trump supporter". They all of a sudden became super friendly and warm toward me. I was so f-cking disgusted with those people I just continued doing my job for a little bit while I looked for new work.
The Glasses Make The Man
I sound like a major nerd and often talk to work contacts for months over the phone before meeting them in person.
I've lost count of the number of times someone has told me they thought I had glasses. But my vision is perfect.
I have 20/15 vision, am currently 6'2, am muscular, and I am a massive nerd. I've been asked to join the football team, I was pressured into playing basketball last year, but I just hate all ball sports. The only athletic thing I do is run track
Merry...Holidays?
Around the holidays my students often wish me Happy Hanukah. The exchange usually follows this pattern:
Student: Happy Hanukah, professor!
Me: Uh . . . thanks, Happy Hanukah!
Student: Oh, I'm not Jewish.
Me: Neither am I . . . but thanks for the sentiment. Happy Holidays!
I'm a college teacher in a Brooklyn school, so a lot of my students simply assume I'm Jewish.
This Might Break Your Brain Trying To Understand
I live in a very Hispanic/Latino area and one woman heard me speak English and yelled at me for not speaking Spanish, calling me a traitor to my ancestors and bringing shame to my past family history in Mexico and Puerto Rico.
Imagine her surprise when I told her I was Arab and Middle-Eastern. Still felt guilty for not knowing Spanish for some reason lmao.
Definitely A Big Difference Between Those Two Things
I was at a dinner party and people kept offering me drinks that I continued to decline. Eventually one woman's eyes lit up as she looked between me and my husband and then she asked, "oh my gosh, are you pregnant?" Everyone around us got quiet and I laughed and said "no, I have epilepsy."
I was handed no more glasses of wine after that!
No. Nope. No.
My ex wife was convinced I had another family in another state. Simply because she heard a kids voice in the background when I was traveling for work and sitting in a restaurant once.
During divorce depositions, i once spent a full day being questioned, and half the questions were slightly different wordings of "so you have another family/child/spouse/kid/dependent/etc..."
I Just Want To Know Where To Go
One time in Japan I asked an old lady for directions (in Japanese). I was still a beginner but I tried my best to speak in their language rather than asking stuff in English. So this lady assumed I spoke very good Japanese and started chatting. I tried telling her I couldn't understand and everyone else on the bus was trying to hide their laughter. The conversation went on for 10 minutes and I still have no idea what she was saying. She was very nice though!
Rumors Spread Far And Wide
People in high school spread rumors I was ALWAYS having sex. I'll be the first to say that nothing could've been farther from the truth, and many girls couldn't even stand me. I have no idea where the rumors came from or how they started. Some of them even made their way to the local civic theater and other high schools.
I actually had a couple instances where someone would tell me (fake name used as an example) "Sam Holtman from South High said you were having sex with blah blah blah" and I had never met the people mentioned, or even knew anyone from the other school. It happened my last two years of high school and it was very surreal. It followed me to my Sophomore year of college, but it happened significantly less often.
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Being home alone isn't always the most tranquil thing.
No one is there to help or protect you.
And things that go "bump" in the night... sometimes they do more than bump.
Redditor ag9910 wanted to hear about the times home felt like an unsafe place to be. They asked:
"What is the scariest, strangest, most unexplainable thing that has happened to you while home alone?"
I'm always freaked out when I'm home alone. Lights on. Yeah, my electric bill is high.
Dorothy?
"I dreamed the front door blew open at the exact time the house alarm went off... I hopped up and sure enough, the front door was open. No intruder."
fatowl
I See You
"Not home alone but only one in right side of the house. Went to my mom's bathroom to wash my hands and saw a pair of feet behind the half open door. Laughed and said 'very funny Ma, I see you.' then finished up and left. Bumped into my mother in the kitchen unpacking, nobody else was in the house. I'm glad whatever was behind the door didn't peek out."
SatanWithFur
“It’s Doug!”
"One night I had forgotten to lock my apartment door and woke up in the middle of the night. My bedroom door was about 2 feet from my front door, as you walked into the apartment. First a big dog ran by, then a person. Holy crap I was so scared and I screeched 'Who is it?!?!!'"
"A man said 'It’s Doug!' As I was thinking to myself, who the f**k is Doug, he said 'oh, crap.' He turned around to go back out the front door saying 'Sorry.' I asked 'Didn’t you have a dog with you?' He said 'Oh, yeah. Hey, c’mon!.' He left, his dog ran out after him and I locked my front door."
"Edit: glad you all thought this was funny, because I did too, once my heart quit trying to beat right out of my chest! The next day the girls at work thought I was crazy for not being upset, but eh, done is done. Peace!"
scarletohairy
Confused...
"My sister and I were home alone and we heard someone big running up the stairs. The stairs make lots of noise with slight pressure so when there’s someone big on them you can tell. I went out of my room to check but saw no one anywhere and my sister also came out of her room and she asked if that was me I said no and we both looked around to see if there was anyone but found no one in the whole house. We were confused and called our parents and just waited until they got back and that was that."
JtSudbury04
I See You
"I very clearly saw a guy walk into my room. But when I went after him there was nobody there. I checked in the closet, under my bed, everywhere one could hide in my room."
HighlyOffensive10
This is why home video surveillance is key.
"NO"
"My parents were on a road trip, just left, and I sat down at my desk. I thought 'Weekend alone by myself' and a voice yelled into my right ear 'NO' so loud it hurt."
Th4ab
Wild
"I managed to lock myself out of my house on my birthday during a tornado while trying to bring my cats to the basement for safety. I later found out that the tornado was approximately a couple miles or less from me at that exact time. The sky was green and it got weirdly calm and then I could hear what sounded like a train coming before I found an unlocked window to climb through. Wild times."
SilverGnarwhal
Saturday morning in the 80s...
"I wasn't home alone but I was awake by myself one Saturday morning in the 80s when I was around 7 or so. I believe my mom was the only one home because my dad went to the lake to go fishing that weekend, and I'm not sure where my older brothers were, maybe they went with him, idk."
"Anyways, my mom's sleeping in, and I'm in the living room by myself, watching Saturday morning cartoons and making a fort out of sheets and cushions. Something made me turn around and I saw my dad in his pajamas standing in the hallway entrance with his hands on his hips, looking the mess I was making and shaking his head."
"He then turned around and walked into my room, which was just off the hallway entrance. Dude. I didn't even look, I just booked it to my parents room and woke my mom up. I don't remember what happened after that, this was around 35 years ago. And yes, my dad was fine, nothing had happened to him."
smriversong
Get the Bat...
"I was at home by myself on a call with some friends when all of a sudden my dog begins to bark like crazy, which was odd since it was the middle of the night and he's usually sleep. I go downstairs to check on him and find him barking at our hall closet, terrified I grabbed my bat that I keep in my room just in case and open the door. There was nothing out of usual at first at then I look down and notice a familiar looking object at the bottom of the closet."
"It was my mom's necklace she had lost when I was 9, (i'm 15 now just to put in perspective how long it's been). I showed it to my mom at breakfast and she was just as shocked as I was. I still have no clue how it got there or how my dog knew it was in there, definitely one of the oddest occurrences of my life."
SomeRandomIdiot14
Meow
"Many years ago, I was 14 or so, my first night alone in the house when my parents were out. Lying on the living room floor reading, my cat sleeping next to me."
"Suddenly, cat wakes up, stares intently into the dark corner of the room behind me, hair on end, growls and then bolts out of the room and upstairs. I look behind me and see nothing, but follow cat upstairs and hide under the covers. Freaked me out."
LairdofWingHaven
Thank God for alarms. I hate being home alone.
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The human body is still such a mystery.
How much do we really know?
Not a lot apparently. We're learning more all the time.
And most of it is gross.
Redditor BathNo7713 wanted to discuss the ick factor of anatomy. So they asked:
"What is the most disturbing fact about the human body?"
The body freaks me out. But it's all I've got. So teach me some things.
Minutes...
"The fastest killing virus takes around 4 days to kill you. That would be Ebola. Your immune system can kill you in 15 minutes."
will477
'locked-in'
"If your brainstem (the part of the brain that mediates most motor control for all of the body) is damaged, you can get 'locked-in' syndrome. That means you're fully conscious and aware of your surroundings but unable to move or speak. The only muscles that remain unaffected in most people are the muscles that move they eyes and the eyelids."
"You're essentially trapped within your own body with your only way of communication being blinking or moving your eyes It can be caused by toxins, blockage of the basilar artery which is the main artery of the brainstem, or other brainstem damage."
4oodler
Explosions
"Some people suffer from Exploding Head Syndrome, which causes them to hear a loud bang when they wake up."
ToraMix19
"When I was younger I believe I experienced this a few times. Sounds I heard were: about a million people talking and laughing all at once, a train that irl would've been about a foot away from me based on the volume of the sound, and a door slamming loudly."
aliaisacreature
Pain
"Not sure if this is by design, but I totaled my car once, almost completely uninjured somehow. Then I looked down to my right hand which I remember jabbing into my dashboard at 55mph. Luckily (unluckily?) only my pinky took the blow. But instead of a floppy-udder full of bone-sand, my pinky was 0.5 inches long."
"Broke no bones, but instead perfectly stacked my phalanges, or finger bones, INTO my hand. This is fixed by a muscular Russian murse grabbing your pinky with both hands and pulling very hard. God I wish they gave me more lidocaine."
TelevisionOlympics
Functions
"If you have a surgery where they need to move your organs around they might not function for a day as the body assumes that they are dead."
tonythebutcher13
Move things around? You mean that's not fake when it happens on "Grey's Anatomy?"
"The only reason you are not aware of it is because the ambient noise kind of drowns it out because your ears focus on it. If you go to one of those super-silent rooms that absorb all sorts of sounds, it is a really weird way to reacquaint yourself with your body."
Black_Handkerchief
The Mouth
"Idk about the most disturbing but how bad human teeth are. We’d think it’s our sugary and processed diets these days that cause it, but even Otzi the iceman discovered in Italy was found to have terrible teeth, mouth diseases and cavities. It’s odd that even with the most basic of diets our teeth are so bad."
Dorianisconfused
In the bowels...
"I noticed this after my abdominal surgery. When I turned over in bed my guts seemed to fall from one side to the other. Mentioned to my doc and she confirmed it was my bowels rearranging themselves."
squatter_
"Apparently the doctor just throws your intestines back in there higgeldy-piggeldy because there isn't a correct way to pack them neatly."
LostDesigner9
A Quick Burst
"There are a vast number of ways that your body can malfunction and kill you with little or no warning. An aneurysm can go undetected until it bursts and kills you. Getting hit in the chest just the right way can stop your heart. You can encounter an allergen that never previously provoked an immune response that freaks out your body so badly that you die. You literally just never know if your body will just... die."
Unsolicited_Spiders
The body is such a conundrum. Sexy and gross all at once.
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Being overweight comes with numerous challenges.
And not only challenge's to one's health.
Unfortunately, overweight people are far too often a target for judgment and ridicule, often owing to misconceptions.
Even worse, sometimes simply being bigger than other people leads others to assume that they must also be less than or inadequate in general.
Redditor Rude_Guarantee_1479 was curious to hear what people felt is the worst part, or most common misconception about being overweight, leading them to ask:
"What is the worst part about being a fat person?"
Since I'm fat, I must also be stupid.
"For some reason people always assumed I was simple minded/stupid when I was obese."
"Now that I've lost weight people just talk to me like I'm a regular person."- batyablueberry.
No comfort to be had.
"Feeling uncomfortable all the time."- Keithninety.
Not being seen and always being noticed.
"I have a fear that nobody is ever going to fall in love with me because I don't feel visible and I am fat
Also, going to the pool or beach and you have to put on a swimsuit. I feel like a seal stranded on the beach.- mango_0111.
Inadequate clothes.
"My belt trying to stab me in my belly when I sit down."- jimjohn2017.
"Nothing seems to fit nicely or still look nice in your size."- OutlandishnessNo1950.
"The amount of pants you go through."- Cmonredditalready.
"Putting on a shirt, walking into the backroom, seeing how it makes me look, and then never pulling out my favorite shirt ever again."- YeaItsaThrowaway112.
Never feeling good about yourself.
"Feeling guilty while eating your favorite foods, not looking good in photos/clothes."- pissed_at_everything.
Mobility challenges.
"My thighs rubbing and chaffing."
"I'm so raw right now."- HeavyBreathin.
Unwanted nicknames.
"Not the worst part, but the most constantly sh*tty part is constantly being called 'big guy' by every kind of person other than other 'big guys'."- Professor-ish.
As the old saying goes, true beauty comes from within.
And the way someone looks should never be one's first impression.
Nor does anyone need to go through the day facing unwanted judgment when simply walking down the street.
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People Divulge The Craziest Thing They've Heard Someone Say After They Forgot To Hang Up The Phone
Don't forget to hang up or turn off your phone.
It seems simple enough to remember.
But more and more people seem to forget this simple little step, and find themselves saying things which weren't meant to be heard by the person on the other end of the phone.
Or worse, if it's a FaceTime or Zoom chat, the person on the other end might see something that wasn't meant to be seen.
Redditor ScarTissue5 was curious to hear the many wild things people overheard when people thought they'd hung up, but didn't, leading them to ask:
"What’s the craziest thing you’ve heard someone say after they thought the phone call had ended but they forgot to hang up?"
"A colleague of mine dialed into a meeting of 2-3 managers plus about 25 sales reps only for everyone to suddenly go quiet and for one person to tell him the meeting was cancelled and he could drop as they, the sales reps, were just chatting sales stuff."
"He pretended to hang up and stayed on the line."
"They were basically planning a mutiny because they didn't like that their regional manager was a woman."
"They had a whole strategy for how they were going to cause a massive f*ck up that would cost the company a ton of money and look like it was her fault so she would get fired."
"The dumbwads even did a little 'are we all in agreement' roll call at the end."
"We worked in a call center so his end of the call was recorded."
"Within a week every last one of them was fired and within a month they were replaced."- InternetWeakGuy.
Walls are not always soundproof.
"I was looking for a place to rent."
"Met the property manager and she walked me to the unit."
"It wasn't the best neighborhood and my mind was already made up as I was walking around the property with her that I wasn't going to go through with it."
"But the lady was very nice and friendly and I figured I'd at least take a look inside the unit."
"It was small and dingy."
"I looked around and told her nicely that I'd think about it and then walked out."
"After the door closed, I could hear her screaming: 'No, you f*cking won't!'"
""F*ck!'"
" Oh, I'll think about it and let you know.'"
"'Ah! F*ck!!"'
"Certainly glad I did not rent."- SweetDee72.
Overheard at the office.
"I once worked as a secretary in an office that, for some reason, got butt-dialed a lot."
"During one such occasion I got to listen in while some gentleman from New York absolutely roasted one of his employees."
"'Well what the f*ck do you expect me to do?'"
"'Honestly, Tom, honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm sleeping your sister, you would be out of here right now'."- BabySuperfreak.
"Here, kitty, kitty..."
"I left a client a voicemail and thought I hung up but in fact I proceeded to talk baby talk to my roommates cat for several minutes while it was recording."- Incontinento
"Another season, another reason..."
"I used to work at a call center that took orders for a lot of different things."
"I took a call from an old lady one day."
"She told me she was 89 and her husband was 92."
"She ordered a generic brand of 'the little blue pills'."
"As she was hanging up I heard:"
"Little old man: Did ya get'm?"
"Little old lady: I sure did."
"Little old man: HOT DAMN I'm gonna get some now!"
"Little old lady: *giggles*"- Shenaniganic.
You'll do this, or else...
"My mother-in-law [MIL] had a new boss who hated her."
"She was about three years from retirement, and she felt like he was trying to push her out early so she’d loose part of her pension etc."
"She asked me to check her answering machine while she was gone after her mother died and let her know if anything important came in, and to water her plants."
"The third day or so I’d been there, there was a message from this boss giving his condolences."
"Then you could hear the click where he thought he’d hung up but must have placed the receiver just wrong and was still on the line."
"He ruthlessly made fun of her with his wife for the next five minutes before saying 'Oh, sh*t!' and hanging up."
"She was at a really low point in her life, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her or leave the message on the machine."
"It would have absolutely crushed her."
"But I did record it, and then I deleted it from her machine."
"Then I called that a**hole and told him what I had, why I wasn’t telling her RIGHT NOW, but absolutely would if needed in the future, and told him I’d better hear nothing but how wonderful work was going for her and how well she was treated until she retired."
"I told him I didn’t even understand what a piece of sh*t you had to be to talk about someone like that behind their back, and especially at such a time in their life."
"And that’s exactly what happened."
"She had a wonderful last few years and figured that her mother dying had opened him up to treat her kindly and with respect."
"That was twenty years ago and I never told her and never will."
"I wouldn’t want to ever take those last few years there away from her."- skbiglia.
"You talkin' to me?"
"Not a crazy story but I had just finished talking to a client over the phone, we say our goodbyes, then I hear her ask 'are you wearing pants today?'"
"I wasn't sure how to answer that but I figure she was jokingly asking because everyone just started working from home due to covid."
"I just replied 'Yes'."
"She then burst out laughing trying to explaining that she thought she had already hung up and she was actually asking her husband that question."
"We laughed about it for about 3 mins before we actually hung up."- lexisauce.
A dissatisfied customer.
"I worked in sales, inbound call, and had a pleasant conversation with a customer who politely declined the offer and told me she was going to look elsewhere."
"We said our goodbyes, nothing out of the ordinary."
"Really sweet lady, had called in with her husband."
"As soon as she thought she hung up, she slammed her phone down and starts yelling at her husband."
"'F*ck [company name], are you f*cking shitting me right now?'"
"'$350 a f*cking year?'"
"'I’m not paying that much for this g*ddamn piece of sh*t [product] how the f*ck could that b*tch pitch that with a straight f*cking face?'”
"I gave her the decency of hanging up myself after that but she was 100% in the right being pissed haha."
" Inbound means she called us to update, not the other way around for those confused."
"I said she was justified because the company sucks."
"It was exactly what she called in for, just with a price increase she wasn’t expecting."- sh*ttysoprano.
Caught Red-handed.
"I called a service provider who was supposed to order certificates of good standing from a state and they were late in sending them over."
"They told me there was a delay at the state’s office and gave me a new estimate."
"They forgot to hang up, and I heard them telling their coworker that they’d completely forgot to send in the time sensitive request in the first place."
"Never used them again."- a_little_wicked
"I had a job where I was in a position to write-off a substantial phone bill, which the customer said was because her mother was dying overseas and she had dementia and needed to hear things in her voice to believe anything, including doctor’s instructions."
"She was heartbroken and sobbing about how if she had the kind of money to pay this phone bill, she would have just gone back to her country because the flight would have cost less."
"She was right about that."
"I wrote-off the entirety of the phone bill, she cried like a jilted lover in a rom-com and said people like me are angels from god etc."
"After I wished her a good evening and she thought the call was ended, she says to someone in a perfectly normal voice ‘Well, that worked!’"- aardvarkyardwork.
Never underestimate the importance of that little click or your phone returning to its home screen.
Neglecting to take note of those simple little things could land you in more trouble than you could possibly imagine.
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