JOIN
OUR EMAIL LIST!

We all enjoyed (or struggled with) the company of family, chosen or otherwise, on Thursday November 22nd. And oh, does it bring back fun memories of the times nothing seemed to have gone right...


u/IAmA_Wolf asked:

What is the trashiest thing somebody has done at your family Thanksgiving?

Here were some of those stories.


Cheez-It Craving

Giphy

The woman my cousin had just married stole a Costco sized box of individually wrapped Cheezit packages from our garage. I just happened to notice they were gone when putting food in the fridge. Asked about it publicly and she locked up, started stuttering, and went to get them out of her car. She returned with the excuse "I thought these were mine. I have a box just like them at home"

chandabear17

Bang Bang Into The Room

My uncle shot the tv because of how the Lions were playing. This was back in 77 or 78 if I recall correctly.

Checking game histories it would definitely have been '77. It was a 17 inch black and white tv, with two knobs- one for VHF channels and one for UHF. He and my dad had started drinking early and the Lions were awful. After a bad play late in the game he strolled into the bedroom, picked up his revolver and shot the tv. We ate dinner shortly after and then went to my grandmas house to watch the Cowboys game.

ironhead_mule

Ring Around The Rosey

My husband's brother and his sister-in-law (who was married to his OTHER brother) always disappeared for about 20-40 minutes at the same time.

This happened for four years in a row before anyone got nosey enough to go looking for them.

Sister-in-law is now married to the Thanksgiving Hookup Brother.

sexandbooks

Spoon-Bending

Giphy

My Aunt Janie took a bunch of Xanax (and who knows what else) on top of a jug of Carlo Rossi that she had hidden in her room. She then proceeded to steal every spoon in the house while the rest of us were drinking and playing games. EVERY. SINGLE. SPOON. We found them in her purse.

Why just the spoons?

p0i8n5e3cone

The Lengths We Go To

Faked a heart attack.

It was very surreal. And her husband was so embarrassed.

Here's what happened. Grandmother didn't like my dad very much, and she picked a fight with him so he decided that he was going home.

When grandmother M realized that my stepmom (her daughter) was going to take dad's side and go home too, she yelled a lot and then, as a last ditch effort, dramatically clutched her chest and collapsed very carefully (it was outside and I guess she didn't want to bump her head or muss her clothes).

Dad offered to call 911, grandfather said it wasn't necessary, and when grandmother realized no one was taking her seriously she opened her eyes, allowed grandfather to help her up, and went inside with him while fake sobbing.

Normally she was quite nice, but she had her moments and really wasn't happy that her daughter had grown up and had a life. Holidays usually brought out the worst in her. Which was weird because she loved cooking and celebrating.

acorngirl

Ancient Vanity

My father's girlfriend sat at the head of the table at my house and acted like she was the hostess while monopolizing the entire conversation. I was her waitstaff. It was my first time meeting her. Five years later they are still together but I haven't seen her in 4 years, 11 months, and 29 days.

It wasn't just the Head of Table Scandal Of 2013 that sunk her for me. She said I should eat very little to watch my figure (it's my Thanksgiving meal?), she said I should dye my hair (I like my natural color), she was disappointed in my husband's wardrobe choice for the evening (he looked fine), and the grand finale was that she told my father I was a "bitch" after the night was over after everything I did to make her comfortable.

I should also mention she's ten years older than him...85 at the time, wears a full face of makeup, dyes her hair dark every week, and is very superficial. Not who I plan to be when I'm in my 80s. I think she's jealous of my relationship with him and is constantly wanting to assert herself as his number one. I'm perfectly fine with that and it's awesome she keeps busy. I see my father all the time and I am perfectly happy with the arrangement. My kids had extra doses of time with her so they are thrilled they don't see her anymore. They loved my mother so much. They were perfectly open to a relationship with her but she's so vain and ridiculous that it wasn't possible.

SugarPuffFoggybottom

Bones And All

Last year, my husband's grandma hosted Thanksgiving dinner at her house and asked us to provide the turkey. (Not even the trashiest part)

We had to go to spend Thanksgiving with my husband's dad's side that morning so we dropped the turkey off on our way to his dad's house. His grandma said that they would be eating at 4.

We arrived back at his grandmas house around 3:45 and everyone had already eaten all the food. Including the entire turkey.

crimefighterrr

A Fight For Dessert

My uncle and grandfather dont have a good relationship, but were tolerating each other because Thanksgiving. My uncle was cooking lasagna and my grandfather decided to help, so he grated the cheese. He did this in another room, because the kitchen was full of other people cooking, we have a big Thanksgiving maybe 15-20 who love to eat. I had brought in the cheese and everything was going fine.

Flashforward to dinner time, the food is coming out and as tradition dictates we always start with lasagna. My grandfather made some joke like," I know you hate me, but at least I'm grate", and sh!t hit the fan. My uncle literally went into a rage, and was yelling at everyone because we didn't tell him he was using "tainted" cheese. Then said "f#@# it" and proceeded to flip the table ALL the food was on.

Then my grandfather called him outside to settle the score, which resulted in two grown men fist fighting in the backyard, culminating with my grandad getting thrown into the pond we lived off of, and slicing his leg on a jagged rock that he landed on. The rest of us ordered Chinese food, and kicked my uncle out, and my grandfather refused the hospital because he had a little too much "holiday joy" in him at the time.

Surprisingly my uncle hasn't come to holidays in years now...

nferrandi

Major Historical Crimes

Giphy

My uncle, who was hiding in Haiti for years during the Baby Doc days, snuck into the country somehow and showed up for Thanksgiving. Not 45 minutes later a bunch of federal agents busted in and took him away. I was maybe 11 or 12, no one ever explained the whole story to me.

But I talked to Mom as I drove her to my sister's house. They prosecuted him under the Rico Act for moving money in and out of Haiti for Baby Doc. According to my mom (didn't see him much, and this happened when I was young) he was ridiculously intelligent, but was crooked from day one. He moved millions of dollars around while the people were struggling to eat. He was absolutely one of those people that worked harder at avoiding work than actually doing anything of any use to society.

They searched the house too, and took all my dad's guns (he was an avid deer and pheasant hunter) and he didn't get them back for over a year. I do remember him getting a new deer rifle about that time, but like I said, I was young and had the attention span of a gnat.

Stimmolation

Family Secrets

We were hosting a young lady my wife worked with, as well as her boyfriend. Halfway through dinner and somehow the discussion got to how her and her brother "once got super trashed on Robitussin, and next thing you know we ... Uh ... Yeah that was really a weird time."

Everyone just got really quiet as we were trying to decide how to fill that one in and where to go with it. For some reason they got really quiet after that.

ValleyNerd

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
Keep reading... Show less
Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
Keep reading... Show less
Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

Keep reading... Show less