The first book I ever remember giving me was a massive blue book about Unexplained Mysteries. It was, in no way, age appropriate and is absolutely to blame for my lifelong obsession with the unexplained.
It's also why I know that my birthday (October 4) has seen more than its fair share of "weird stuff that probably involved aliens happened today."
In 1957 a tadpole-shaped "object" passed over a city in Northern Japan; it rained threads like spider silk shortly after. Something similar happened on Oct 4, 1971 in Monterey, CA. Witnesses saw three "ships" and the strands fell from the sky as the ships darted away. Locals call the strands "angel hair."
On Oct 4, 1967 Nova Scotia saw "The Shag Harbour Incident" where a UFO reportedly crashed into waters, prompting investigation by government and military officials.
(My brother would like me to add my birth in 1982 to the list of potential alien activity on that date.)
and honestly, UFOs raining spider silk to celebrate my birthday like some M. Nyght Shyamalan remake of Rapunzel and the lanterns is the least weird thing in here.
The 1987 "Cabin Attack" in Luther Michigan - An apparent attack by the cryptid known as the "Michigan Dogman" - another mystery all by itself.
In June of 1987, a group of teens/young adults went up to Luther Michigan to stay the weekend in a Cabin at the camping grounds there. Sometime late at night/in the early morning hours, they reported an apparent attack by a massive animal that tried to break into their cabin.
The cops came, and one of them (I forget his name) ended up describing the Cabin as having scratch and bite marks around the doors and windows. He was particularly surprised about the windows' damage - because they were over 7 feet off the ground. He also described dog tracks (confirmed NOT to be bear tracks) that were between 6 and 8 inches across.
This attack happened shortly after an April fools joke song came out called "The Legend," created by Traverse City DJ Steve Cook. Cook released the song on April 1st, 1987, thinking that it would just be a lighthearted joke about sightings that were recorded here and there in rural Michigan since the late 19th century. Little did Cook know, however, that people would NOT take it as a joke, as they started ringing in to the radio station non-stop, telling Cook and those around them that this was not a joke - this was something they had seen with their own eyes.
"Somewhere in the north-woods darkness, a creature walks upright. And the best advice you may ever get is: Don't. Go out. At night."
This is my favorite weird and barely known one:
Back in 2013 an unknown group assaulted a power substation in California. By all appearances it was pretty sophisticated: scouted firing positions, all casings wiped of prints, they targeted transformers so they'd take time to overheat before triggering any alarms, also knew exactly when the police would arrive.
No suspect or motive to this day, they also cut some fiber optic cables in a vault nearby. Conspiracy types think it was a dry run by Russia or possibly China to see how effective an attack like that might be.
On A Farm In Norway
Ok so, I guess we dont truly know if its solved as the court thinks they are right, but pretty much everyone else doesn't so it counts.
The Orderud case is one of the most infamous murder cases in Norway.
Three people were found killed in the house next door. Kristian Orderud (80), Marie Orderud (83) and their daughter Anne Orderud Paust (47), were all found killed in the student housing on Orderud farm.
Anne worked for the government and her husband Per was a consulate. Prior to the murders (Per died in May 1999 before the murders), Anne's car had been fitted with explosives, and the couple had also found explosives outside their apartment in Skillebekk, which according to experts could have blown the whole building up.
After this, Per got a job in New York and the couple lived there for a few months, returning to their residence in January 1999. Around May 15, law enforcement received an anonymous phone call where someone said Anne and her parents would be killed soon. Law enforcement never found out who this was (I'm a little unsure of this phone call is true or made up).
As for the murders, police were certain it had to be someone close to the family, since they knew when Anne would be at her parents' farm. The police's main theory was/is that Anne was the main target.
The police also believed that since the victims did not attempt to escape or call the police after the break in, they most likely didn't feel threatened by whoever was there. Kristian was lying in bed when he was killed, and while he was old and impaired, police found it telling that he was still in bed when he was killed.
This was not a burglary; nothing was taken from the victims or the house.
Early on, Marie and Kristian's son Per and his wife Veronica were suspects. They lived in a separate house on the same property as Per's parents. Per and Veronica were more or less in charge of the farm, completing all tasks necessary to keep the farm up and running. Since Per was in charge of the farm, he strongly felt he was entitled to buy the farm from his father, making him the owner. His father disagreed, and the two battled it out in court. Per handed in evidence showing that his father had signed a document that said Per would be the owner of the farm, however it turned out Per had forged his father's signature in order to make the outcome of the case go in his favor. Because of this, Per and Veronica were suspects.
During the investigation, police also looked into Veronica's half sister Kristin Kirkemoe and her then-boyfriend Lars Grønnerød (died in 2019). Supposedly, Lars provided the guns for Kristin, who then gave them to Veronica. Said gun went off in Per and Veronica's house when Kristin showed it to them, and left a mark in their coffee table. A trajectory of this bullet confirms this story, which was told by Kristin.
During the police's investigation of the crime scene, one officer (randomly) found a mustard yellow knitted sock with two white stripes behind the house. The police has tried to identify who it belongs to and where it came from for years, but no luck.
The court concluded that Per, Veronica and Kristin executed the murders, and that Lars provided them with guns/weapons. All four were sentenced to prison, but have been released since then. Per and Veronica are still together and maintain their innocence.It has been almost 20 years since the killings. The forest between the home and Orderud farm has grown denser, and it is no longer possible to see the student housing on the neighboring plot.
People have applied for reopening of the case.
An unknown group of people broke into an FBI building, and no one found out who they are. But the best part of the story is, they did it by leaving a sticky note that said "Do not lock the door tonight."
They just stuck the post-it note to the front door and it worked!
They revealed themselves after the statue of limitations was up. I was just reading about it I'm surprised they weren't thrown in jail anyways
Weren't these the people that leaked the info that the government was trying to blackmail MLK into committing suicide? COINTELPRO. I thought I read somewhere recently that some of the people involved came forward.
Who was Perseus?
From 1943 to 1946, the Soviet Union had a high level spy in the Manhattan Project. Codenamed Perseus, this spy was a scientist at the White Sands missile testing site in NM, and the main research facilities in Los Alamos. Perseus saw pretty much the entire Project start to finish, giving the Russians everything they needed to get to work on their own bomb.
The fact that they were able to do so within 4 years of the end of WWII when their nations was still devastated is proof positive that Perseus helped a great deal.
And to top it all off, Perseus was never caught or positively identified.
A Double Homicide In India
What happened to Arushi Talwar, a 13 year old girl in India is also quite unsolved. A 13 yo girl was murdered in her home at night with her parents sleeping through it in the same home. The domestic help was initially the suspect, but his body was discovered the next day making the case a double homicide.
I still think about the poor girl not getting a closure!
So it's this Australian family who owned a berry farm. Somehow Mr and Mrs Tromp and their three grown kids developed the belief that they weren't safe and they needed to flee their farm without cell phones or anything traceable (credit cards, etc).
It sounds like the oldest son wasn't fully sold on whatever it was that led them to flee. He brought his phone, but eventually it got tossed from the car. He ended up bailing first and taking a train home.
From there the rest of the family slowly separated and suffered various degrees of emotional breaks. The two girls stole a car. Somehow they got separated and one made it home, but the other was found on the floor in the backseat of some guys car in a catatonic state. (he spotted her after he started down the road).
Eventually the parents were found wandering around aimlessly. Fortunately they were all ok physically but WTF happened? Was someone actually after them? Were they delusional? As far as I know the family hasn't released any updates and by all accounts they just returned to regular life like nothing happened.
That sounds a bit like ergot poisoning. It's a grain fungus that caused widespread problems in the middle ages. It has physical symptoms but it can also cause hallucinations.
There's some thought that it might have been responsible for accusations of witchcraft and visions of angels. LSD is derived from it.
Someone might have dosed them all on a lot of acid? Or even possibly a naturally occurring hallucinogen.
But if you want to get a small group of people to all do something very stupid together? Hallucinogens seems to be the way to go.
Haven't seen this one in here yet: The Beale Ciphers
It's a set of three ciphertexts purporting to give the location, amount, and ownership of a treasure buried in Bedford County, VA. The second cipher (listing the contents of the treasure) was decoded in the 19th century using the Declaration of Independence as a key, and the inventory is worth somewhere on the order of $43mil today.
There is considerable debate about whether or not the whole thing is a hoax. It does seem that the yet-undeciphered first and third ciphers encode an intelligible text. There was some speculation that Edgar Allan Poe May have authored the ciphers, but that theory, sadly, has been debunked.
Mad Axeman Demands Jazz
The Mad Axeman of New Orleans ran rampant in 1918 and 1919. He murdered six people (usually those of Italian descent) with axes or straight razors. In March of 1919, he sent a lengthy letter from "Hottest Hell" that was pretty nonsensical. But the most relevant paragraphs read:
"Now, to be exact, at 12:15 (earthly time) on next Tuesday night, I am going to pass over New Orleans. In my infinite mercy, I am going to make a little proposition to you people. Here it is:
I am very fond of jazz music, and I swear by all the devils in the nether regions that every person shall be spared in whose home a jazz band is in full swing at the time I have just mentioned. If everyone has a jazz band going, well, then, so much the better for you people. One thing is certain and that is that some of your people who do not jazz it out on that specific Tuesday night (if there be any) will get the axe."
There were no murders that night because every dance hall in NOLA was filled to capacity.
Tragic Mustache LossGiphy
3 lighthouse workers with impeccable mustaches traveled to a remote island on December 7th, 1900 for a lighthouse shift that should have lasted for two weeks. When a boat arrived to pick them up, they were gone. No trace of the bodies, and the lighthouse was strangely locked.
Not only was the setting normal (meal ready to be served), but there was no fire in the fireplace, and the clock stopped. One of the men kept a log in a diary, and he said that the seas were rough one day, but when monitored, it was actually calm. No one knows what happened to them.
The mustaches have nothing to do with the story at all. I just really liked them.
Freak wave, almost certainly. Been to Flannen (lovely place) courtesy of a local fisherman who told me all about this 'mystery' and frankly, scared the living heck out of me. I'll share what he told me: most of which checks out with records of the time.
During the search for those quite wonderful missing moustaches the following was noted -
1/ A box over 100 feet above sea level had been wave damaged, and iron railings at the same level had been bent.
2/ The railway lines serving the lighthouse had been ripped out of their concrete settings.
3/ And this is my favourite bit....
There is a nearby cliff over 200 feet high. It was still there, but the grass on top of the cliff had been ripped away. For up to 30 feet back from the cliff edge. Arguing that that was where the wave broke.
The local view is that by freak chance all the keepers were outside and below the 200 feet above sea level mark doing keeper stuff when they suddenly noticed it had gone dark and looked up just in time to see a wave over 200 feet high about to hit them. Probably had time to say something along the lines of 'Goodness gracious me, and now I'll never have time to finish that letter to Martha' and that would be it.
My favorite is Chauvet cave. (If you have a chance, watch Werner Herzog's documentary Cave of Forgotten Dreams. I think it's still on Netflix.) It has some of the most stunning cave art in the world, which almost certainly had some kind of profound significance, and we don't - and will likely never - know what it is. Moreover, there's evidence that the cave was abandoned for thousands of years and later returned to, only for the returnees to continue to make paintings in the exact same style and, possibly, for the exact same reasons.
There is so much to be seen in these figures. There's a portrait of an animal tossing its head that looks like one of the world's earliest explorations of stop motion or sequential art. When I look at it I can feel the will of the painter, who wanted so much to convey this sort of motion...
There are also the footprints of a boy, who arrived much later to the cave than its original users, whose marks appear to be contemporary with the pawprints of a wolf. It's hard to say now, according to Cave of Forgotten Dreams, whether they walked together, whether they walked 20 years apart, whether they were friends or whether the wolf was stalking the boy. But I read a blog post by a professional hunter and tracker, who looked at the footage of the prints from the film and said that they likely walked together. I wonder what they were thinking. If the boy had some knowledge of what he would find there, or if he was simply exploring a cave and found some of the greatest art in human history.
In Chauvet there is also the solution to a mystery. Until the discovery of Chauvet cave paleontologists were unsure as to whether cave lions had manes. On the cave walls there is an illustration of a cave lion with visible testicles and no mane, settling that debate.
THE CIRCLEVILLE LETTERS
In 1976, residents of the small city south of Columbus Ohio began receiving handwritten sinister and graphic letters. Each letter included secret and dark details about their personal lives.
One resident received a ton of letters, accusing her of various unsavory acts. The author warned the resident that he had been keeping an eye on her home, as well as her comings and goings. The resident was horrified and tried to keep the letters a secret until her husband began receiving them.
The attacks on the family continued, with large posters appearing around town spreading rumors about their 12 year old child. One day in 1977, the husband left the house after receiving a call from who he thought was writing the letters. A few minutes later, the husband was found dead at the end of the street dead behind the wheel. The sheriff had ruled it a homicide when he realized that a single shot had been fired before the accident, but there was no evidence that the husband was shot at the site. The sheriff found the husband was twice the legal limit and ruled it a drunk driving accident.
The letters began once again, this time accusing the sheriff of covering up the true nature of the death. The letters also accused the sheriff of mishandling an investigation into the county coroner who had been accused of other grotesque acts.
The harassment continued, this time with signs along the road and in 1983, the original resident who had been accused of having an affair pulled over to remove a sign. During the effort to remove the sign, she discovered a box was attached and inside of it was a small pistol. The gun was part of a booby trap designed to fire when the sign was removed.
Paul Freshour was arrested and given 25 years...but one small problem. The letter writing continued even after Freshour was put in jail.
In a new batch of letters, the author had promised to dig up the grave of a deceased baby and mail the bones to the police in the case of another potential affair turned murder.
Hundreds of residents continued to receive personal letters until 1994 when everything stopped.
Alright, this is my favorite unsolved mystery of all time.
Nine Russian skiers went to Dyatlov Pass, a group of mountains. Yet they never returned. Searchers found their tent, where they had set up camp for the night. The tent that they had set up was ripped FROM THE INSIDE. A little farther away, were the nine bodies, naked except for their underwear. At first doctors thought of hypothermia, but ruled it out. Some of the bodies had injuries, including third degree burns, radioactive clothes, and even a missing tongue. Some theories about what the hell happened include KGB-interference, drug overdose, UFO, gravity anomalies, and the Russian version of the Yeti.
So that's it. There have been more recent theories, but that's it.
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- People Break Down Their Favorite Unsolved Mysteries From The Early Days Of The Internet - George Takei ›
- People From Small Towns Share Their Weirdest Unsolved Mysteries - George Takei ›
Christmas is upon us. It's time to get those Christmas present lists together.
So... who has been naughty and who has been nice?
Who is getting diamonds and who is getting coal? Yuck, coal. Is that even a thing anymore? Who even started that idea?
There has to be some funnier or more "for the times" type of "you've been naughty" stocking stuffer.
I feel like the statement coal used to make is kind of last century at this point.
Apparently I'm not alone in this thinking.
Case in point...
Redditor rallfreedom wanted us to update Santa's deliveries for the children on the naughty list, they asked:
"Since Santa is old, and coal was considered worthless back in the day, what new worthless item could Santa give to naughty children in 2021?"
If you really wanted to set me off on Christmas morning, then you should leave me something personalized. Something you how I'd hate. Like a cassette tape of 80's Christian soft rock. That would make a statement of just how naughty I've been.
What a DifferenceBlockbuster GIF by Big Potato GamesGiphy
"Blockbuster gift cards." ~ GamerOfGods33
"And still no one will shop at the one franchise location still open." ~ pesto_trap_god
"AOL Internet discs... (actually getting rare these days)." ~ whorton59
"After collecting enough of those AOL discs, I just open a bottle of Tennessee whiskey and make AOL disc fish wall art." ~ ExRockstar
"I wish I still had the picture, but my friend passed onto me a photo of a chair (more like a throne, if I recall) made entirely of AOL discs." ~ PM_MeYourSmilingFace
"Outdated phone chargers." ~ TheBrotherhoods
"A correct phone charger for the device, but it only works in one very specific angle and charges the phone super slow." ~ Karl_the_stingray
"People rave about how good old Nokias were but they forget that if you went up a version like you got upgraded to a 3310 from a 3210 then all your chargers were now something like 0.25mm too small and you had to buy all new ones." ~ erroneousbosh
"We currently misinterpreted what 'naughty kids get coal' originally meant. For a poor family in December, coal was the difference between warmth and freezing, hot food and not. 'Coal' was not something mean. It was like socks, now." ~ adaza
"Exactly. If the child was selfless, they would get a personal gift as a reward. If the child was selfish, they instead would get a gift to be shared with the family, forcing them to be more altruistic." ~ MoobyTheGoldenSock
Necessities...toilet paper help GIFGiphy
"Toilet paper. Just like coal, it's something the whole house needs and will use but is going to be bought anyway. It's also consumable and practical just like coal." ~ NeverGetaSpaceship
I could still use toilet paper. You never know when society is gonna go off into the deep end again and buy it all up. Remember the beginning of Covid?
Spinfidget GIF by Future GenerationsGiphy
"Idk why but I feel like fidget spinners would be pretty infuriating to the masses of children as something that still counts as a gift but is for sure a let down & past trend." ~ mmaster42
Way back when...
"An "Introduction to Windows 95" book." ~ Actual_grass
"There's one of those package shipping stores near me that sells all kinds of miscellaneous stuff. Anything to make a buck. They have a carousel stand with laminated sheets containing tips on how to use various computer programs. Still for sale as of last week: 'Shortcut keys for Windows XP' and 'Tips for using Microsoft Word 2010.'" ~ dartdoug
"He could give kids one of the old cables that was collected over the years but wasn't thrown away because it could need it at some point." ~ CaptWeirdBeard
"I have a tupperware tote full of those things. I'll sell it to Santa for scap value of the copper. You hear that Santa? $5 and it's all yours." ~ GreatJanitor
"A rotary phone." ~ cannotbefaded
"My Grandma had a rotary phone she kept(still worked so why not) as well as having a cordless phone. Had a relative that wanted to use the rotary phone the one time just to use it instead, decided they didn't want to do that again." ~ golden_fli
"Okay, I actually like rotary phones. I was young enough to remember using rotary phones and preferred using them to touch tone phones. Only because it was fun to spin the dial and watch it spin back into place." ~ GreatJanitor
So close...ronald mcdonald mcdonalds GIFGiphy
"McDonald's toys from 2 years ago. Old enough to not be popular trends, but new enough to not be collector's items." ~ GavinSnowe
McDonald's still has toys? Who knew? And those fidget spinners, how did anyone ever enjoy those? That would set me off as well.
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I admit, I love my stuffed animals. They're the best.
Some of them have been with me for years and I have them proudly displayed in different spots around my apartment. And when I've packed them for a move, I've done so with all the tender loving care I can muster.
What is it about them that stirs up these feelings?
Believe it or not, it's quite possible to form emotional attachments to inanimate objects!
People told us all about their own feelings after Redditor MoneySquare5734 asked the online community:
"People of Reddit, what weird sympathies do you have towards inanimate objects?"
"Computers when someone's throwing a fit or tantrum over something like a game lag, buffering or general software issues. Like dude, get angry at the real cause not the hardware thats essentially just the messenger."
We really mistreat our hardware sometimes, don't we? Going to apologize to my computer now.
"I think we're okay now..."
"I once slapped my iPad when it was being slow, then instinctively hugged it and apologised afterwards. I think we’re okay now but the level of trust definitely isn’t what it used to be."
Serves you right! You have a lot to make up for!
"I have way too much emotion..."
"I have way too much emotion invested in my Roomba. Especially as I only have one charging station, so when it's running in my living room/hallway, it can never get back to base as there's a step in the way."
"Usually feel guilty when I come home and find it stuck in some corner, knowing that it literally ran until exhaustion trying to find its home."
I do not have a Roomba but my friend has one and I think he has the opposite reaction. I think he mistreats his!
"All my dollar bills..."
"All my dollar bills need to face up in my wallet, otherwise I get the feeling those Georges and Lincolns are uncomfortable."
I think I do this too. I did not ask to be attacked like this.
"If I see..."
"If I see a really ugly plush toy at a thrift store, I feel compelled to buy it because I feel like it will just get thrown away. So now I have quite a few ugly plushies. I love them."
Aww, they now have a home with you and they must be so happy!
"I guess in general..."
"Abandoned toys. I guess in general I just feel so bad for any inanimate object that is no longer serving its purpose."
How many toys end up in the dump each year, I wonder? And how many of them are plotting their revenge as we speak?
"So I transferred everything..."
"I got a new cellphone not too long ago. So I transfered everything to my new phone but I didn't turn off the old phone afterward."
"This happened late on a Sunday and the next morning my old phone still rang to wake me up and I was somewhat sad that it still thought it was my current phone and that it still had the duty to wake me in the morning."
The feelings this stirred up... I did not know it was possible to feel this way!
"I am very appreciative..."
"Sometimes I give my car a pat on the dashboard and say thank you. It has carried me so many thousands of miles and i am safe. I am very appreciative of its hard work."
Aww. I don't have a car, but I get this! And your car appreciates YOU!
"When I was a kid..."
"When I was a kid I spent a whole afternoon feeding pebbles to a small drain outside my house because I thought it was hungry."
Okay, this is cute – and totally something a little kid would do!
"There's a thing I call..."
"There’s a thing I call 'mechanical empathy.' If you emotionally attach to your bike or car you’ll be kinder and more gentle to it."
"Some people are really rough on cars and other machinery, it’s painful to drive with them."
I was in a car recently with a driver who got a bad case of road rage and just slammed her hands on the dashboard whenever she was upset. That poor car!
Who knew we could feel so attached to the inanimate objects around us? Humans are fascinating creatures. We're capable of a lot of love and empathy, even for the smallest things.
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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They say your 30's hits different, like one day you're young a hopeful and the next day you're just WAY too old for this.
What is the "this" you're suddenly too old for?
No idea. It's different for everyone, but make no mistake, it'll happen to you too.
Maybe it already has?
Reddit user BMA1500 asked:
"What sh*t are you too old for?"
Let's take a look at how "too old" hit these Reddit users.
"Arguing with ignorant people on the internet."
"I have no patience or bandwidth to argue with random a-holes on social. Learned that lesson a long time ago."
"Too many fakes and bots now anyway. I am pretty much a 'read only' user of other platforms and only share opinions in person on polarizing issues."
"Petty games while talking to a potential partner."
"Just be straight up and real with me. Tricks are for kids."
"I've always felt this way."
"I remember when one of my girls explained the concept of 'playing hard to get' to me and I was annoyed just hearing it."
"If I have to chase you, that means you’re running away, and I don’t have time for that. If you seem uninterested, I’ll take it on the chin and leave you alone."
"If you like me just say that. If you don’t like me just say that. It’s not hard and moves the process along much faster."
"If you text me and I’m free, I’m going to text back. I’m not going to wait three hours for aesthetic purposes."
"The list goes on."
Cut That Out
"This sounds like some Instagram motivational sh*t, but spending time around people that I genuinely don't like or who make me unhappy and uncomfortable."
"There's so short of a time we have on this Earth and it just hit me right before I turned 30 that I spent a ton of that time with people who I thought sucked."
"I cut that out and I'm much happier."
"I realized this at my cousins wedding. I had a family member walk up to me flat out call me ugly, fat and say that I wasn’t the “good” family guy anymore."
"What!?!? Why would you even say that?? And they said it with a smile on their face the whole time..."
"After that night I haven’t spoken to them in 2 years and I’m super happy! I’m too f*cking old to be dealing with that nonsense for the rest of my life."
"It takes days to recover now, and most bad hangovers come with an existential crisis attached."
"When I was young I remember times I'd have a day off from work and be like 'Hell yeah, I'm gonna get trashed and play video games all night it's gonna be great!' "
"Now it's like "Great, I'm 3 drinks in and I'm just tired & have heart burn.' "
"It's not the same."
"I used to work 12-9pm, party the entire night. And then be back to work like a pro."
"If this was a Friday, partying used to resume Saturday afternoon. That was my early 20s."
"In my 30s now, and I wait for Fridays so that I can be dead on my bed the entire Saturday."
"The existential crisis is the worst. Just lying there wondering what the hell you are doing with your life, what came to this and when you are going to grow out of it."
"Then it passes and life goes on."
"General admission tickets. My old ass requires a reserved seat."
"Hahaha… last gen admission show I went to I had to find a 'comfortable' wall to lean on."
"When it comes to music festivals, the wife and I go for VIP just so we can get fancier washrooms and shorter lines at the food trucks."
"I agree but, man, it makes feel like I’m a spectator at at a concert and not part of the real party down on the floor."
"There comes an age when you have to consider... 'Do I really care what kind of clickbait sh*t my high school friends who I never talk to and never will see, likes?' "
"I only had Facebook because it helped with socializing in college/high school, but afterwards it's really hard to want to add new friends because they can see your history, and you can too."
"Honestly, the only reason why I have a Facebook is because I still have my mom as my friend and she passed 4 years ago."
"Every time I go on there, I'm tired now."
"I deleted Facebook three years ago."
"Found out all my Marine Corps buddies were either total idiots, painfully stereotypical post-9/11 veterans, ill-informed political junkies, and mostly people I haven't had anything to do with in years."
"Moving or helping other people move. Just no."
"I've moved a lot of times and have helped many people move."
"One of the best decisions I've ever made was hiring movers. 300 bucks for the big stuff is money extremely well spent."
"I've broken my body helping people move because I'm the 'young and strong guy' in the friend group. Way too many times now. F*ck that sh*t, hire movers."
"I can agree with this."
"I used to work as a mover for a couple summers and I don't even want to move myself lmao."
Not The Cool Old Guy
"I told myself when I get older I need to be open minded and not the close minded grumpy old man..."
"Then I see all these obviously staged videos and corny dancing/lip syncing stuff and realize it’s inevitable I am not gonna be the cool old guy."
"I have this exact same process with TikTok."
"I think to myself, 'I’m really the bitter old woman I said I would never be, aren’t I?' Lol"
"I’ve downloaded TikTok at least 3 times and deleted it almost immediately."
"I am drawing a line at TikTok. I’m old."
Since We're Talking About TikTok...
"When Macy's Thanksgiving Parade performers are introduced as "TikTok sensation" without any other credentials worth mentioning."
"I think the only performer I knew yesterday was Kelly Rowland because of Destiny’s Child."
"My google search history is full of my confusion."
"Oh man I’m so glad we missed the parade then. Maybe I’m just too old but that would’ve been cringe."
Why Are We Screaming?
"People (mainly young girls) who scream for no reason."
"I understand if you're terrified of something, but screaming when you meet up with your friends or just when the situation does not call for it makes me SO mad. I find it so infuriating."
"Just shut up. Lol."
"My kids learned a very long time ago not to scream like that. I hate excessive loud noise in any environment, but it’s especially nerve wracking in close quarters."
"My Mother-in-Law will have a dinner every so often for the family to get together. My husbands brother’s kids are so freaking annoying like this."
"We’re having pizza? Scream."
"We’re baking cookies? Scream."
"Someone found you in hide and seek? Scream."
"I’ve been too old for that since I was 6. Shit was ALWAYS annoying."
Real talk, apparently I'm *very* old going by the stuff on this list.
I'm gonna need to go sit with that for a bit... let me go turn on the seat warmer so my bones aren't stiff when I stand up later.
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Do all mothers go to the say mom school or something? Because they seem to share the same advice or go on the same platitudes, don't they?
Here's an idea.
Maybe they're just older, have more experience, and are trying to keep us from being dumbasses in public. At least, that's what I think.
I'm definitely grateful for my mother's advice—it's saved me more than once—and it seems many out there are too. And they all seem to have heard the same things from their mothers, too.
Any of these sound familiar? They probably do, and we heard all about them after Redditor lame_excuses asked the online community,
"What are some things all moms say?"
"I'll go first..."
"I'll go first: 'So if your friend jumped off a cliff would you jump off too?"
Okay, my mother did not say this, but all my friends' mothers did.
"We have fun."
"My mom always made me put on a coat when we went outside, even if I wasn't cold, simply because she was cold."
"Now that I'm an adult, she no longer tells me this but instead I complain about being cold and ask, indignantly, why no one told me to put in a coat."
"We have fun."
I want a documentary crew to follow you both around. It'd be hilarious.
"I credit George Carlin for all of these."
"When you lose something."
- Have you tried looking for it?
- Have you looked everywhere?
- Well, it didn't just get up and walk away.
"I credit George Carlin for all of these."
George Carlin knew what he was talking about. RIP.
"You know Glynis? She's your aunt's mother-in-law's close friend. Anyway, she died last week."
"I have eyes..."
"I have eyes in the back of my head."
"My mom used to say that to my sister and I so we wouldn't be sneaky behind her back. One day she was washing the dishes and I came up behind her with my two fingers and poked her right where I assumed her back eyes would be. She shouted, 'Ouch!' I believed her for years!!"
I was convinced of this too! Damn, my mother was good.
"I had some friends over..."
"I had some friends over when I was a teenager, and I bet them I could get my mom to say the word 'food.'"
"Hey, mom, what's for dinner?"
"Worked every time."
You both clearly planned this!
"When at the billing counter..."
"When at the billing counter every mom has the maternal instinct to say - 'Just stay in the line, I need to go grab a few more things.'"
This is my mother.
How many times have I dealt with this?!
“It’s because you didn’t drink enough water."
BUT I DO!!
"If you have siblings..."
"If you have other siblings and they’re trying to yell at you they will call you by all your other siblings' names before they get to yours. Usually starting with the oldest and working their way backwards."
Good thing my family was small!
"My Mum used to use it all the time..."
"'Soon.'" An indeterminate time frame from 5 minutes to several hours. My Mum used to use it all the time to deflect stupid questions like 'When is dinner?'"
"Answer: she always, always served it around 6 pm."
It's true! My mother would do this – and still does this. And we definitely don't eat as early as that!
Confirmed: All mothers meet for the annual mother convention to say all–and I do mean ALL–of these things to their kids.
Anything missing, though? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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