Ugh, family, why do you always need to bring that up?
Kids say and do the darndest things, which we know, considering our families won't let anything we have ever said or done in our childhood die. But there's always that one darn thing which nobody can ever get over. You know what yours is.
Here were some of the answers.
The Home Video Is An Evil ToolGiphy
When I was really little I was running around in a family friend's yard. I was still potty training and had the "pull down your pants" part of going to the bathroom down pat, but hadn't quite mastered the "find a toilet" part. So I just drop my pants and poop on the grass. The best part is they were taking a video at the time, so now they have a home movie of me taking a crap in their yard. It's been 25 years and everyone still makes fun of me for it.
I'm Makin' Waffles
When I was about 4 my parents were taking about Bill Gates, or someone else super rich, and I said very insightfully, "I bet he can eat at Waffle House any time he wants to."
I think it stemmed from me constantly begging to go to Waffle House and my mom always saying, "We don't have the money to eat at Waffle House everyday!"
I just assumed money was THE ONLY reason I couldn't eat there everyday.
Medical School For 7 Year Olds
When I was 7 my neighbor had a heart attack. I felt like I could have helped prevent it because I had saw a commercial advertising bayer aspirin and how it kept your heart healthy or something. I thought the doctors didn't know about this miracle drug. From that day on, I wrote down every medicine commercial with a brief description of what the medicine did. One day at dinner my brother was complaining his hands were dry and itchy. I ran to get my notepad and told him he should try vagisil.
When going on long car journeys we would often have to use hillside routes and the like (rural Ireland), when going over a steep hill at speed it always gave a funny feeling in my stomach. As a child I proceeded to shout with utmost determination "Dad my willy is scared!".
They tell everyone this story....
Well Howdy Doo To You TooGiphy
When I was 4, I guess I was having a real bad morning. I came out of my parents room after I had woken up and went out to the living room where I sat down in my personal toddler-sized chair and stared straight ahead at the TV, not saying a word to my then stay-at-home dad who was already up watching TV after my mom had gone to work. He changed the channel to Spongebob just for me. he then proceeded to tell me good morning, to which I replied "f*ck off."
To this day he still has no idea how I heard that, though he assumes he heard my mom say it to him during an argument they were having. He tells that story to anyone he gets the chance to tell.
Accidentally Sold Out Our Friend
So, my parents had a nanny suite in our old house. They decided to let a family friend who was retired live in there and be our nanny rent free. They also paid her a few hundred dollars every two weeks. She was a pensioner.
So, I was about 4 and she used to bring me out on her adventures. What my parents didn't know was that she was a secret lush. She used to bring me to a bar midday. The barfly's found me entertaining. They would buy me ice cream if I sang "How much is that dog in the window?" As a 4 year old I found this perfectly acceptable I got to sing and free ice cream. My parents never knew because nothing bad ever happened to me.
After we sold the house and I was about 8 we walked by the bar and I go that's where I used to sing for ice cream. My parents asked what I meant and i told them. They were horrified at first and asked me if anything bad ever happened and i said no.
I'm 35 and still haven't lived it down.
You Sit On A Throne Of Lies
When I was three, in the midst of the 80s kidnapping scare and the Christmas shopping season, I decided I was going to go see Santa. While my dad was in line to buy my mom's Christmas present, I went to see Santa without him.
My parents, of course, freaked out, but they found me happily watching Santa because I knew I wasn't lost. I was going to see Santa, duh.
When they talked about it when I was older, the thing that stood out the most to them was my sense of direction was really good for a three-year-old.
There They Are A-Standing In A Row
My grandparents were flying back in from overseas but their flight got delayed. I was about 6 at the time and a massive The Lion King fan. I decided to provide some entertainment for my family so I got up on these half walls that were in the centre of the airport and just started singing at the top of my lungs "I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS" with some pretty elaborate dance moves - including golden spirit fingers. My parents couldn't stop laughing, and neither could everyone else in the airport. Haven't lived it down.
My younger sister- we were watching some discovery channel documentary on marine life. Anyway, at one point, she turns to my mom and said "did you see that?" Mom's like, "no.. what?" Sister says "on TV... the animal there" Mom asks which animal. My little sister says "you know... (and then whispers) the octa-c**chie"
My sister was afraid to say octopus because she knew "pus" was a bad word.
We still talk about it to this day. To the point that I have since moved across the country and my husband and my friends all refer to an octopus as a "you know... an octa-c**chie"
No Moose For YouGiphy
So I don't know if anyone has ever been to the Bugaboo Creek but essentially it's a restaurant with a bunch of talking animals on the walls. As a kid I went there on my birthday cause I loved animals and shit.
But what they don't advertise is that for birthdays they bring out this big moose puppet on one of the waiters arms and want you to kiss the moose.
7 year old me did NOT want anything to do with this puppet and I instantly shut down into tears yelling "I don't wanna kiss the moose"
Nearly 20 years later I am still haunted by the memory as my family constantly reminds me of my most infamous whine.
I don't wanna kiss the moose.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays
I was running a rolled up napkin back and forth through a candle flame. The napkin caught fire, so I threw it into a plastic Solo cup which, of course, proceeded to catch fire as well. My aunt grabbed the cup and tossed it into the sink.
The charred remains of the cup with a burned napkin inside were put on an ornament hanger and is hung on our family Christmas tree every year. The shame that keeps on giving.
A lot of klutzy stuff.
Walked into door frames. Got a tooth knocked out by a wiffle ball bat. Took a different wiffle ball directly to the nose. Slid to home plate in a backyard game of kickball, ate the edge of the table. Broke my arm with a parked car. Tried to reach under a table to grab a fork, slipped underneath, then stood up under it. Got stuck 6ft off the ground the first time I climbed a tree. Broke a toe playing soccer barefoot.
A silly thing I asked. Mum explained the technical science reason for how someone gets pregnant when I was nearly 3. She explained women have eggs, that turn into babies. My first question was, "where's your nest?" Followed up by "you said you have eggs. So where is your nest??"
One of my brother tricked me into believing that Canada was pronounced Kuh-nay-dee-uh. I believed it until I was 14.
I watched Jaws a lot. I was 4 or 5 and my dad was called in for a shift at the police department he worked at as a part time job. It was early evening and my mom said, "What do you want to do tonight, Fightinscot?". My reply, "Wanna get drunk and fool around?".
Runner up, I was two and a half and my mom was potty training me one afternoon. I guess she kept telling me to go potty and we would go to grandma and grandpa's house afterwards. After a few minutes of being told to use the bathroom, I looked her in the eyes and said, "Piss off, bitch.". My mom swears I heard my dad say it, dad swears I heard it from my mom.
Never Forget What Never Was
I had a nightmare as a kid that my family burnt in a fire, and I cried enough tears to finally put the fire out, and then had to mop the tears up because it flooded the house. This was 100% not real btw. My mum dropped me off for school and I was still shaken up by the nightmare so I started crying. The teacher asked what was wrong and I said my family burnt to death. Immediately all the teachers were concerned, asking me was I okay. As the day went on, I forgot about my nightmare and was a happy kid again. The teachers were like wtf. Why is this child so happy? When my mum came to pick me up from school they asked her was she okay, and then my mum explained the whole situation. This happened when I was like 6/7.
I'm 20 now and people still talk about the time they died in a fire.
I Gave You What You Asked For
I was probably 10-12 at the time, but I used to go to local hockey games with my aunt.
One night, I was sent to the food stand to get hot dogs. She wanted "just a little bit of mustard", so I put exactly one dot of mustard on her hot dog. She thought it was absolutely hilarious.
It's been 30 years and I am reminded of it every time I visit family.
Ah To Be An Actor At Three
I was probably about 3, very dramatic, and The Little Rascals had become one of my favorite movies. At the grocery store with my mom and she wouldn't let me have something I asked for, so in my best Darla voice I loudly asked "ARE YOU ASHAMED OF ME??" and watched my mom turn bright red as everyone in the aisle turned around.
Also when I was about 6, I had seen a commercial for a movie (can't remember what it was) where the MIL(?) was crazy obsessed with cats and meeting her SIL(?) for the first time. So when my uncle introduced me to his now wife, I repeated after the lady on tv and said "You can call me pussy now." Everyone laughed, I laughed, but the joke was lost on me until years later.
I guess I watched too much tv as a kid lol
Being an emergency responder is a high-stress job.
It's a career with long, laborious hours.
There is always a hint of danger. And death is always around the corner.
So we as a society could try to help these people out and not put ourselves in unnecessary danger.
Redditor Diligent-Log6805wanted the rescue workers out there to tell us about the times they rescued people. They asked:
"Emergency responders of reddit, what are some dumb things that have lead to an emergency situation?"
These workers and the world already has enough trouble without my stupid.
"So... was she impressed?"Idiot Reaction GIFGiphy
"Kid driving his new truck down a residential street, wet from a recent rain, lost control and hit a parked car, overcorrected and rolled it once back onto its wheels up onto a lawn. He told the fire chief he had gunned it to impress his girlfriend and the chief just looked at him and asked 'So... was she impressed?'"
"I had a client once who was basically Ricky from Trailer Park Boys, loud, obnoxious, hilarious and every second word was some Maritime slang or a derivative of 'f**k.' He has been on daily eye drops for decades for dry eyes, sure ok cool. I hear screaming down the hall and run in and he's wedged against the wall and the bed just screaming 'I f**ked up boys, I dunno what the f**k is f**king happening but It's f**ked."
"Turns out he mistakenly put Jublia which is an antifungal ointment for toenails in his eye thinking it was his eye drops. The strangest part was the bottle has this miniature sponge at the end so you soak the sponge then paint it on like a gel...he painted this antifungal ointment onto his eye which immediately went red and angry then proceeded to do the other one."
"So he's at the eyewash station and I'm talking to poison control and they are pretty stunned because they have zero data on what happens to a human eyeball when it's painted in antifungal. I can hear the staff at the other end kind of snickering under her breath and she asks can you compare and contrast the eyes? Well... he put it in both eyes. The line goes silent because I can tell she is howling. Guy was totally fine but it was a standout for sure."
Will they show?
"Responded to a call of two minors being kidnapped and their parents being beaten in front of them and then taken someplace else. One was around three years and the other one was six. They were held captive in an apartment out of hundreds of residential apartments which not easy to locate, upon reaching there we found out that the boy six was just playin' with us to see if we would actually respond. Their parents were so embarrassed by all of that and vowed to not give them mobile until they are adults."
"When I was an EMT in NYC years ago we had a call for a man 'unresponsive.' We entered an upscale apartment that was a hoard: floor to ceiling newspapers and magazines, just a mess. The woman who called said her brother was in his bedroom sick."
"We entered his room and it was pretty obvious that he had already passed away. She had placed a bowl under his mouth because he had hemorrhaged which had coagulated the day before it was crazy. We asked her why she hadn’t called sooner and she said thought he’d get better?!"
"The joke around the house was 'if you have to put a bowl under a relative who is bleeding from the mouth, call 911. Don’t wait.' Never thought we’d have to advise anyone to do that. But there ya go. Also, it was Thanksgiving. Didn’t eat any cranberry sauce that year."
God Only KnowsMarried At First Sight Lol GIF by LifetimeGiphy
"Had a guy call because he had the cure to Covid and needed a ride to the local education hospital so he could share it. Dude was so high on meth He ended up having 4 or 5 binders worth of scientific looking notes. God only knows what was actually in them."
Wow, people really need to get a grip. Of their minds.
"Sparky"on fire GIFGiphy
"One of my old bosses once built a new shed in his back yard, to replace his old, worn-out one. He moved everything from the old one to the new one, then decided that the best way to remove the old one was by burning it down. He ended up with no sheds and the nickname 'Sparky.'"
Dead in the living room...
"Paramedic here. We responded to this 54 year old having chest pain. Man was having a heart attack. Dude didn't want to go to the hospital because it too early in the day. That's it. We tried to convince him to go. Got the ER doc to talk to him and he wouldn't budge. He signed a Refusal. Later that same night, his family found him. Dead in the living room. We got to him and started CPR, meds, everything. Dude didn't make it. When we advise you to go to the hospital, go."
"Got called to a shooting. A guy says he received a text message from an anonymous number saying his brother has been shot. He checks all the hospitals with no luck. He goes to his brother's apartment but gets no response at his door but sees his car and can hear the TV on. We get there, attempt to get an answer at the door."
"Eventually we kick the door in to make sure he wasn't dying in his apartment. We boot the door, announce police, and find him asleep in his bed. The guy tells us that he got a new phone number and decided to mess with his brother by texting him he had been shot. He then fell asleep and forgot about the text and was woken up by us. So many wasted resources on his idiotic prank."
"Got called to a priority job. The caller was kayaking in a lake and said that there was an unresponsive male in the water. So off we went, lights and sirens. We requested paramedics and fire to attend as well for the rescue operation. There were about 6 emergency vehicles attending including a rescue boat. We got there within minutes and met the caller who showed us where the guy was."
"He was just swimming, minding his own business. The caller said he was unresponsive, but really he was just ignoring her. Had a chat with the guy, he seemed alright, said he swims here every day and likes the quiet. No issues. Would have been nice if the caller told the operator that he was still conscious and swimming rather than 'unresponsive.'"
Chew SlowlySnl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"Well, I was taking a lady home from dialysis and she decided to eat a snickers in the back of the ambulance, and she started choking. Had to do the heimlich, and tell her to finish her food at home."
If it's not a true emergency dial 311. Please.
I hated science classes.
As soon as I could I ran.
But it follows me.
Because science can be downright disturbing.
That's why I blocked out so many of the details.
Redditor Flimsy_Finger4291wanted to compare notes on all the frightening facts that are a definitive. They asked:
"What's the scariest thing that science has proven real?"
As if knowledge isn't scary enough, let's her more...
Hello Terrypaint surgery GIF by gifnewsGiphy
"Some tumors have teeth, hair and even eyes."
"My sister had one minus the eyes! It was cantaloupe sized on one of her ovaries before it was found. She named it Terry the Teratoma."
"My best friend and bunk mate from summer camp died from one of those when I was in 7th grade. Happened so quickly, we were a week into camp and he got really sick. They gave us all heavy meningitis shots because they didn’t know what it was and within a few days he was dead. Turned out to be a brain eating amoeba."
"Edit: strangely enough on the same day he started getting sick one of the lifeguards that was sitting out in a boat waiting for the next group of kids for what we called Trojans Vs. Spartans day had a seizure, fell off the boat and drowned. Only deaths they’d ever had in the 50+ years the camp had been open."
Far Far Away
"The size of our galaxy, how many other galaxies there are and how far away they are. When you can actually see something that incomprehensible.."
"The nearest star to us would take the Voyager 70,000 years to reach. The nearest galaxy to ours would take the Voyager 749,000,000 years. If we some how managed to take on the monstrous task of speed of light travel it would still take 25,000 years to reach the nearest galaxy. And it's even further apart after you read this. Wild stuff!"
"How the brain is literally rewired and chemically altered by childhood neglect and abuse."
"It's genuinely kinda freaky, playing a puzzle game, and noticing how quickly you're getting better at it. The kind of puzzles that were a real blocker in the beginning become baby-easy after like an hour of playing puzzles like it."
"My sister faced horrible abuse at the hands of our father, and she has been working through it with multiple therapists over the last 10 years and she is only now starting to get her life back. I feel like she was robbed at a fair chance at life because of our a**hole father."
AwakeBill Murray Im Here GIF by Groundhog DayGiphy
"Prions, horrific and totally unpredictable."
"Fatal familial insomnia is a prions disease where you can't sleep anymore, you just stay awake until your brain deteriorates and you die."
Now I can never UNKNOW about prions. Perfect.
Days gone by...Aging Matt Damon GIFGiphy
"Ageing. I'm content with death but the idea of my body growing old, frail and eventually falling apart before the end game gives me goosebumps."
"Gamma ray bursts. No warning, no escape, no defense, no survivors."
"If you're talking about supernovas if the star isn't too close the gamma burst would probably only destroy some part of our ozone layer. And gamma radiation is actually the least lethal out of all types of waves."
"Entropy. Time shall consume all things. Inevitable heat death of the universe."
"I personally want the 'Big Crunch' to be true. That instead of fizzling out it all gets sucked back into an infinitely small/dense particle and then another Big Bang happens. It’s my explanation for the multiverse. It’s all one timeline. Just infinitely long."
"More like a theory, the 'orangutan paradox,' when we film a documentary on orangutans, they can’t realize that we are observing them, yet they are the most intelligent species of their category, so aliens might be watching us and we are as oblivious as an orangutan."
Fade 2 SilentListen Scooby Doo GIF by MashedGiphy
"That hearing is the last sense to leave, when dying."
Well that is the antithesis of comfort. Life is so fun.
Ever since Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope opened on May 25, 1977, a devoted fanbase developed.
And that fanbase has opinions.
Lots and lots of opinions.
Redditor Ebo8000 wanted to know:
"What is your most controversial take on Star Wars?"
"LASERS LOCK DOORS. LASERS OPEN DOORS. LASERS KNOW WHAT YOU WANT THE DOOR TO DO."
"But if you get past the door and close it behind you and you don’t want anyone to follow you through it…"
"…you shoot the bloody door panel!"
"Also, f*cking hell, we're in the future (or in the past), whatever, and people have better technology."
"Why put the door control RIGHT NEXT to the door? Put the door control system in a breaker box."
"Build every door so in case of malfunction they all shut closed (after all, they're in space and you don't want to lose air in decompression, do you?)"
"Shoot the breaker box, now the whole floor is closed until someone can figure out what happened."
"Almost look like those doors just exist as dramatic elements..."
"I’d like a film about when the Republic was at its height. 1,000 generations is 25,000 years and we’ve had 9 movies about the last 60."
"Not sure if controversial but they need to take the franchise and yeet it 200 years in the future."
"I'm tired of the Empire era where they need to justify why more than 2 Jedi and 2 Sith exist at one moment alongside knowing everything is pointless until Luke leaves the farm."
Design Fail? No!
"The Death Stars weren't badly designed they were just badly managed."
"Yes, designing them assuming large scale assaults was stupid given the political state of the galaxy but the second Death Star wasn't even finished so that doesn't count, it's all Palpatine's fault. As for the first one that was finished, the Alliance made three runs on the exhaust port."
"The first was called off before they made it to the trench, the second failed and the third was carried out by space Jesus which isn't exactly fair."
"All in all it sounds like a fairly effective defence when you consider the design philosophy."
"The entire universe has a cool factor that outweighs the atrocious storytelling."
"Bro imagine the following movies, but if they were in Star Wars universe."
"Magnificent 7 - A Jedi, Bounty Hunter, Ex-Imperial, Pilot, Wookie, a Droid, and Lawman team up to defend a town against pirates"
"Dredd - Two Jedi climb up an apartment block to confront a new dark side user who has mental control of the entire apartment block"
"Supernatural (T.V. Show) - A Jedi and their apprentice go around and solve and defeat Dark Side Force spots—where the Force consolidates from emotions and creates foul creatures to fight"
"Top Gun - But it's you know, Wedge or something"
"Ford versus Ferrari - But it's podracing or swoop racing"
"Something about the ships in the original series always felt more like real ships than in any of the later movies, despite the objectively better effects of the later films."
"Some of this is probably the use of models (i.e. actual three dimensional objects), but I think there is some critical difference in the design that makes them feel more real (probably because they were designed to be things that would actually work as models)."
"Whatever it is, I LOVED the ships in the original series and never really liked any of the new ones."
"The original trilogy changed the world by showing a universe in space that was dirty and lived in. The special effects from the later movies did not recognize this."
"Boba Fett is an oddly overrated background character, and even after watching The Book of Boba Fett, I don’t really care about him."
"He was never a character. He was a cool helmet."
"He was a cool jetpack too."
Time for the weather...
"Han is actually older than Obi-Wan due to Time Dilation."
"Time dilation in a universe where every planet and moon has the same gravity and atmosphere?"
"And just 1 biome."
"That way they only need one Weather Channel per planet."
"And over to Klaatu for the Tatooine weather report. Klaatu?"
"It's still sunny."
These are the droids we're looking for.
"Star Wars is actually the life story of C-3PO—think about it."
"I disagree. I think its R2-D2's story. He had a much greater presence in Episode 1, 2 and 3, and got the same amount of screen time as C-3PO in 4, 5 and 6."
Fan is short for fanatic.
"Fans ruined the whole franchise."
So, did your controversial Star Wars opinion make the list?
Death is a subject many people shy away from because what they don't know beyond our realm of existence can be intimidating.
Hollywood hasn't helped, as movies and TV have typically portrayed death as something sinister and violent.
How could anyone be convinced death is a peaceful transition, and that what awaits on the other side is actually an unimaginable utopia?
Curious to hear strangers' thoughts about death, Redditor GoodNess2020 invoked a quote by an iconic literary figure and asked:
"Mark Twain once said, 'I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.' Why do you agree/disagree with his statement?"
People clarified what actually terrified them most about death
"I don't fear being dead. I fear dying."
"Yeah, that's usually the issue. It's why that quote doesn't mean much, to a lot of people."
"It's not a fear of eventually dying and not existing anymore. It's the act of dying itself. He didn't constantly die for all of time. He just wasn't alive."
Concept Of Loss
"To have not existed for billions of years is to have spent billions of years never knowing loss. To die is to know loss."
"If you look into a new bank account and see zero dollars, it’s nothing. If you look into a bank account that once had a million dollars and see there’s nothing in there, you’ll know it’s absence."
People provided an analogy to articulate what ceasing to exist must feel like.
It's About Time
"Time is only relevant to you when you are alive. He is right. Have you ever been sedated for surgery? You go under, and then instantly wake up and procedure is done.... or you died so no worries."
Consciousness Is Life
"You won’t be feeling anything in death though is the thing. That infinite/instant sensation was a living feeling, you just weren’t conscious for it - your body experienced it anyways. No body, no experience."
Like Being Under
"That is very true, but for me, that's the closest amalgamation of what it probably feels like."
"No one can tell you what actual death will be like. It's impossible for you to experience nothingness."
"Thinking about death can be paralysing sometimes, and when I remember that the closest thing i can link as an experience I had, being put under, was actually sort of pleasant. I then think maybe death will be like that, and honestly it doesn't seem that bad."
When In Deep Sleep
"Yeah in contrast to sleep where you can actually feel like time has passed when you wake up."
Think Line Between Death And Slumber
"As CGPGrey puts it, your bed might very well be a suicide machine."
"Given our lack of understanding for the fundamental processes of our sentience, it's entirely possible that when you fall asleep, your mind is functionally killed, disassembled, analyzed, sorted, tweaked, and adjusted by your biology, before being reassembled when you wake. Every night."
People opened up about their insecurities around the concept of death.
Fear Of What Comes Next
"I’m just paranoid that something does happen after death and it’s just based on one thing that you didn’t know about."
The Circle Of Death
"There’s nothing to fear in oblivion. Unless, of course, your consciousness survives death. If so, it would be reasonable to fear the sensation of consciousness without senses, suspended alone in the cosmos, with no one to hear you, and no way to make yourself known. No reference point for counting time – a count that does not matter anyway in a literal eternity."
"You might wish that you still had a corporeal form, only so that you could make your mouth move to express your terror, to make the universal form of a terrified scream – the form of a letter O."
"But you won’t be able to. You just won’t!"
"This has been the Children’s Fun Fact Science Corner. Brought to you by shame, loneliness, and the letter..."
When Faith Fails You
"what do you mean I'm going to hell?! I was a good person and attended church regularly!"
"Ah yes, but you failed to put a blue feather in your hat and then turn in circles the times praising God Almighty on the fifth Sunday after your twelfth birthday. To the pit with you!!!"
There is an poignant episode from the Twilight Zone that brought me a sense of peace surrounding the concept of death.
Death was embodied by a handsome police officer who had been shot–played by a young Robert Redford–and begs to be let into the home of an elderly woman who had been living in perpetual fear of meeting "Mr. Death."
As the episode continues, she discovers much to her dismay that she welcomed Death into her home, but he warmly reassures her there is nothing to fear.
The episode ends with her finally offering her hand to Death after much protest, and they peacefully walk out together, arm in arm, into the light.
It was sweet and beautifully done. The 1962 episode was titled, "Nothing in the Dark."
That's how I imagine it to be.
A dashing Prince of Darkness telling me it's time to join him in guiding me to the other side.