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People Share The "One Thing" They Did As A Child That Still Get Brought Up At Family Parties

Ugh, family, why do you always need to bring that up?

Kids say and do the darndest things, which we know, considering our families won't let anything we have ever said or done in our childhood die. But there's always that one darn thing which nobody can ever get over. You know what yours is.


u/HarmonJames asked:

What is that "one thing" you did as a child that still gets brought up to this day?

Here were some of the answers.

The Home Video Is An Evil Tool

Giphy

When I was really little I was running around in a family friend's yard. I was still potty training and had the "pull down your pants" part of going to the bathroom down pat, but hadn't quite mastered the "find a toilet" part. So I just drop my pants and poop on the grass. The best part is they were taking a video at the time, so now they have a home movie of me taking a crap in their yard. It's been 25 years and everyone still makes fun of me for it.

HoboTheDinosaur

I'm Makin' Waffles

When I was about 4 my parents were taking about Bill Gates, or someone else super rich, and I said very insightfully, "I bet he can eat at Waffle House any time he wants to."

I think it stemmed from me constantly begging to go to Waffle House and my mom always saying, "We don't have the money to eat at Waffle House everyday!"

I just assumed money was THE ONLY reason I couldn't eat there everyday.

EsthieBestie986

Medical School For 7 Year Olds

When I was 7 my neighbor had a heart attack. I felt like I could have helped prevent it because I had saw a commercial advertising bayer aspirin and how it kept your heart healthy or something. I thought the doctors didn't know about this miracle drug. From that day on, I wrote down every medicine commercial with a brief description of what the medicine did. One day at dinner my brother was complaining his hands were dry and itchy. I ran to get my notepad and told him he should try vagisil.

digimonRthechampionz

Determination

When going on long car journeys we would often have to use hillside routes and the like (rural Ireland), when going over a steep hill at speed it always gave a funny feeling in my stomach. As a child I proceeded to shout with utmost determination "Dad my willy is scared!".

They tell everyone this story....

RareTarget

Well Howdy Doo To You Too

Giphy

When I was 4, I guess I was having a real bad morning. I came out of my parents room after I had woken up and went out to the living room where I sat down in my personal toddler-sized chair and stared straight ahead at the TV, not saying a word to my then stay-at-home dad who was already up watching TV after my mom had gone to work. He changed the channel to Spongebob just for me. he then proceeded to tell me good morning, to which I replied "f*ck off."

To this day he still has no idea how I heard that, though he assumes he heard my mom say it to him during an argument they were having. He tells that story to anyone he gets the chance to tell.

SerendipityMee

Accidentally Sold Out Our Friend

So, my parents had a nanny suite in our old house. They decided to let a family friend who was retired live in there and be our nanny rent free. They also paid her a few hundred dollars every two weeks. She was a pensioner.

So, I was about 4 and she used to bring me out on her adventures. What my parents didn't know was that she was a secret lush. She used to bring me to a bar midday. The barfly's found me entertaining. They would buy me ice cream if I sang "How much is that dog in the window?" As a 4 year old I found this perfectly acceptable I got to sing and free ice cream. My parents never knew because nothing bad ever happened to me.

After we sold the house and I was about 8 we walked by the bar and I go that's where I used to sing for ice cream. My parents asked what I meant and i told them. They were horrified at first and asked me if anything bad ever happened and i said no.

I'm 35 and still haven't lived it down.

Wackydetective

You Sit On A Throne Of Lies

When I was three, in the midst of the 80s kidnapping scare and the Christmas shopping season, I decided I was going to go see Santa. While my dad was in line to buy my mom's Christmas present, I went to see Santa without him.

My parents, of course, freaked out, but they found me happily watching Santa because I knew I wasn't lost. I was going to see Santa, duh.

When they talked about it when I was older, the thing that stood out the most to them was my sense of direction was really good for a three-year-old.

shineevee

There They Are A-Standing In A Row

My grandparents were flying back in from overseas but their flight got delayed. I was about 6 at the time and a massive The Lion King fan. I decided to provide some entertainment for my family so I got up on these half walls that were in the centre of the airport and just started singing at the top of my lungs "I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS" with some pretty elaborate dance moves - including golden spirit fingers. My parents couldn't stop laughing, and neither could everyone else in the airport. Haven't lived it down.

scottyfitzg

Valiant Effort

My younger sister- we were watching some discovery channel documentary on marine life. Anyway, at one point, she turns to my mom and said "did you see that?" Mom's like, "no.. what?" Sister says "on TV... the animal there" Mom asks which animal. My little sister says "you know... (and then whispers) the octa-c**chie"

My sister was afraid to say octopus because she knew "pus" was a bad word.

We still talk about it to this day. To the point that I have since moved across the country and my husband and my friends all refer to an octopus as a "you know... an octa-c**chie"

wow_pretty_colors

No Moose For You

Giphy

So I don't know if anyone has ever been to the Bugaboo Creek but essentially it's a restaurant with a bunch of talking animals on the walls. As a kid I went there on my birthday cause I loved animals and shit.

But what they don't advertise is that for birthdays they bring out this big moose puppet on one of the waiters arms and want you to kiss the moose.

7 year old me did NOT want anything to do with this puppet and I instantly shut down into tears yelling "I don't wanna kiss the moose"

Nearly 20 years later I am still haunted by the memory as my family constantly reminds me of my most infamous whine.

I don't wanna kiss the moose.

OMIKEANEO

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

I was running a rolled up napkin back and forth through a candle flame. The napkin caught fire, so I threw it into a plastic Solo cup which, of course, proceeded to catch fire as well. My aunt grabbed the cup and tossed it into the sink.

The charred remains of the cup with a burned napkin inside were put on an ornament hanger and is hung on our family Christmas tree every year. The shame that keeps on giving.

carolinav13

Cañada

A lot of klutzy stuff.

Walked into door frames. Got a tooth knocked out by a wiffle ball bat. Took a different wiffle ball directly to the nose. Slid to home plate in a backyard game of kickball, ate the edge of the table. Broke my arm with a parked car. Tried to reach under a table to grab a fork, slipped underneath, then stood up under it. Got stuck 6ft off the ground the first time I climbed a tree. Broke a toe playing soccer barefoot.

A silly thing I asked. Mum explained the technical science reason for how someone gets pregnant when I was nearly 3. She explained women have eggs, that turn into babies. My first question was, "where's your nest?" Followed up by "you said you have eggs. So where is your nest??"

One of my brother tricked me into believing that Canada was pronounced Kuh-nay-dee-uh. I believed it until I was 14.

Savvy_Jo3

-Jaws Theme-

Giphy

I watched Jaws a lot. I was 4 or 5 and my dad was called in for a shift at the police department he worked at as a part time job. It was early evening and my mom said, "What do you want to do tonight, Fightinscot?". My reply, "Wanna get drunk and fool around?".

Runner up, I was two and a half and my mom was potty training me one afternoon. I guess she kept telling me to go potty and we would go to grandma and grandpa's house afterwards. After a few minutes of being told to use the bathroom, I looked her in the eyes and said, "Piss off, bitch.". My mom swears I heard my dad say it, dad swears I heard it from my mom.

fightinscot

Never Forget What Never Was

I had a nightmare as a kid that my family burnt in a fire, and I cried enough tears to finally put the fire out, and then had to mop the tears up because it flooded the house. This was 100% not real btw. My mum dropped me off for school and I was still shaken up by the nightmare so I started crying. The teacher asked what was wrong and I said my family burnt to death. Immediately all the teachers were concerned, asking me was I okay. As the day went on, I forgot about my nightmare and was a happy kid again. The teachers were like wtf. Why is this child so happy? When my mum came to pick me up from school they asked her was she okay, and then my mum explained the whole situation. This happened when I was like 6/7.

I'm 20 now and people still talk about the time they died in a fire.

nerdthewordular

I Gave You What You Asked For

I was probably 10-12 at the time, but I used to go to local hockey games with my aunt.

One night, I was sent to the food stand to get hot dogs. She wanted "just a little bit of mustard", so I put exactly one dot of mustard on her hot dog. She thought it was absolutely hilarious.

It's been 30 years and I am reminded of it every time I visit family.

Tyranthin

Ah To Be An Actor At Three

I was probably about 3, very dramatic, and The Little Rascals had become one of my favorite movies. At the grocery store with my mom and she wouldn't let me have something I asked for, so in my best Darla voice I loudly asked "ARE YOU ASHAMED OF ME??" and watched my mom turn bright red as everyone in the aisle turned around.

Also when I was about 6, I had seen a commercial for a movie (can't remember what it was) where the MIL(?) was crazy obsessed with cats and meeting her SIL(?) for the first time. So when my uncle introduced me to his now wife, I repeated after the lady on tv and said "You can call me pussy now." Everyone laughed, I laughed, but the joke was lost on me until years later.

I guess I watched too much tv as a kid lol

tiredpandabear


Men Who've Gotten A Vasectomy Share Their Experiences

Reddit user GaleNotTheWind asked: 'Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?'

Pair of scissors
Markus Winkler/Unsplash

According to the Cleveland Clinic, over 50 million men have had a vasectomy.

Although avoiding sexual intercourse is the only effective way to avoid pregnancy, the male birth control procedure still has a low failure rate.

Those who are apprehensive about having a vasectomy fear the following: pain, impact on sex life, effectiveness, and side effects like cancer. (The National Cancer Institute and the American Urological Association have found that the procedure does not increase the risk of prostate cancer).

To seek some reassurance, Redditor GaleNotTheWind asked:

"Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?"

Guys discuss what happened after the snipping.

Making Sure

"For the love of God, do the follow-up appointment. The last thing you want is to be accidentally playing with a loaded gun."

– sleepypanda59

Wise To Wait

"The paper work I got for mine which was done less than 2 weeks ago said that you could have sex 2-3 days after but... definitely said to wait another few days."

– SisterPhister666

Follow Post-Surgical Procedures Or Else

"Had it done twice while living in Japan no less. Why twice? The first one failed."

"... apparently, so did the second (says my now 6 year old daughter)."

– shoelessmarcelshell

These men found that the procedure itself wasn't a big deal.

Assurance

"I was super anxious, but I had a great procedure. I was more freaked out about the shot of numbing agent to the balls, but it was legit nothing to worry about."

– Reddit

Normal In No Time

"Little operation, blue balls and no wanking for a week, then back to normal but without getting anyone pregnant."

– Bright_Composer_3901

"Made the mistake of having a pop after a couple of days. Jesus, the regret."

– Alante

Best Money Ever Spent

"When I woke up after the anesthesia - yes I asked to be put under, best $55 (after insurance) I ever spent - the caffeine headache I had upon waking was the most painful part. The preoperative instructions were nothing but water the evening before, no water for 4 hours before going under. The Safeway brand cola that the angel aftercare nurse brought me was pure refreshment."

– HarrumphingDuck

Cherry On Top

"Local anesthesia stings for a second or two then all you can feel is tugging after all is done the pain I would describe is like blue balls for like 2 days tops. I took a week off work recommend by doctor since I’m a construction worker and the heavy lifting but I felt like after day 3 I was good to go. Cons: minor pain discomfort, no hanky panky until last semen sample came out clear. Pros: , no unplanned pregnancies(it’s still possible very rarely)."

– Secure_Requirement84

Some final thoughts.

Only Pros

"To me, the only bad part was the smell of the cauterization of my vas deferens.. the procedure was fine. Local anesthesia before and during just felt slight tugging no pain. Recovery was easy. No pain. No cons. Only pros. And if absolutely need be it’s reversible. Much easier and less invasive than a woman getting her tubes tied and significantly less harmful than birth control. I’m an advocate. Get it done!"

– PunchARacist

One Unsettling Thing

"For me, it wasn’t the smell but watching the little puffs of smoke during the cauterization. That was truly and deeply unsettling."

"Otherwise, yeah, nothing major to report. Stayed in bed for a day watching old horror movies and assembling a Lego plant. Pretty much business as usual after that."

– GuestCartographer

The One Constant

"Got a vasectomy, it worked. Got it reversed, that worked.... twice Got another vasectomy...17 years later, all good. Just go to a legit great Dr. I mean top of the field Dr. For ANY messsin around down there. Vasectomy is WAY easier now than 25-30 years ago. In/out in an hour... The only thing that hasn't changed? ... The bag of frozen peas ..😂"

– richwat00

Vasectomies are performed via two methods, the incision vasectomy or a no-scalpel vasectomy, and both use local anesthesia to numb the scrotum.

Always consult a healthcare provider before undergoing the procedure and–most importantly–make sure you don't want to have children or that you and your spouse don't want to add additional family members.

Based on the anecdotes above, there's nothing to fear, so feel free to man up and get to snipping.

gray conveyor between glass frames at nighttime
Tomasz Frankowski on Unsplash

I've always enjoyed a good scare on film and my Mother indulged my preferences as she also loved a good horror film.

While we thoroughly enjoyed a good Disney movie together, I was also allowed to watch Jaws, The Exorcist and The Omen before I was 10 years old.

Slashers and sci-fi frights were good, but to me the most effective scares involved nightmarish scenarios that might easily happen in the not so distant future.

For me, growing up Roman Catholic meant demonic possession and the AntiChrist were on the list of plausible fears.

But what films offered possible Hellscapes for others?

Keep reading...Show less
wedding bands on dictionary
Sandy Millar on Unsplash

Infidelity in marriages isn't as widespread as people think. While some cynics would have us believe faithful partners are scarce, they account for over 4 out of 5 spouses.

Still, 16% of married couples in the United States admitted to being unfaithful at some point in their marriage.

And 57% of divorces were due to cheating.

In marriages where infidelity occurs, but doesn't result in divorce, the loss of trust is still a problem. It can make emotional and physical intimacy challenging.

So why do people cheat instead of ending their relationship before moving on?

Keep reading...Show less
shallow photography of man hugging woman outdoors
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

When it comes to flirting, everyone has their preferences of how they like to be flirted with. Some people like cleverly crafted pickup lines.

I always thought pickup lines were a cheap way to get someone's attention. That being said, there are some good ones out there. I've been on the receiving end of both. "On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?" and, "You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you."

Both got me to engage in conversation, and I even dated the guy who used the first one for a while.

I'm not the only one that knows some good pickup lines. Redditors have both heard and used some pickup lines and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor Sauce_Dealer420 asked:

"What's the best pickup line of all time?"

Read It And See

"You put the sexy in dyslexic."

– koookyko

"This made me laugh so hard."

"Because I can read properly."

– TappedIn2111

I'm Hooked

"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says:"

"Three boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""

"The next day, he is gone. The second boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""

"Next day, he’s gone too."

"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me, “Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?”

"And I say “yes.""

"And she says, “Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”. All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling."

"I said, “Check please bartender!!""

"I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."

– reb678

Statistics

"The odds we sleep together are 50% because half of us agree so far."

– AlfheimKitteh

"Math is always super sexy."

– Acceptable-News-6811

Money, Money, Money

"Hey girl, are you the English financial system? Because I'm about to give you a weak pound."

– onemanwolfpack21

"Yo girl, do you know exchange rates? Because Euro 10."

– kkirchhoff

Winner, Winner

""Are you a magician? Cuz every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.""

"This line got me a wife and three kids. 😊"

– PRSHZ

One Liners

"Are you a beaver? Cuz damn."

– Starry_Night-

"If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple."

– Slainna

"Hi, do you want to go for a ride on a Harley?"

"(My name is Harley) 😁"

– OMNIxvTRIX

No Losers

"If I asked you for a date would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"

– SchemePale6222

"I got blue screen in my head."

"Explain please."

– TastyToothpasta

"You can't lose. Say no, the answer is yes. Say yes, the answer is also yes."

"Dang sounds kinda creepy writing it out like that. Still clever wordplay though."

– Steeze_Schralper6968

Clever

"My go-to was always:"

"I used to be a history teacher, so I know lots of important dates. Want to help me make another one?"

"A little corny, but it usually worked."

– StuffToday

Refreshing

"That one actually worked with my ex on the first try."

"-Hey, do you like water?"

"-Yes."

"-Then you like me in 70% already."

– azurskyy

Sneaky

"Would you date a complete stranger?"

"If she says “yes” you’re in."

If she says “no.”

“Then allow me to introduce myself.”"

– Blastspark01

Playing Coy

"Once a girl came to me and told there was somebody who thought I was cute."

"I asked her who and she said “Me.""

– evil_boy4life

Prop Lines

"You have to have a handful of limes available to do this:"

"Hold the limes, drop the limes in front of the lucky person. Then say 'Sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes.'"

– cannibalcats

Egg-cellent

"Best one that worked for me was:"

"Me: How do you like your eggs?"

"Her: Over easy, why?"

"Me: Just making sure I have things right for when I make you breakfast in the morning."

– Radiant_Boss4342

The Best Line

"How you doin?"

– 2x4x93

"There was a time when this was the ONLY line you could use!"

– JohnsLong_Silver

That line would definitely work on me!