Christmas comes every year. So do birthdays.
And that means another year of getting thoughtless gifts, useless stuff you don't need and socks.
All the socks.
Redditor diswell asked:
"What's the biggest 'WTF' gift you've ever received?"
A wholesome mom.
One year I came home for Christmas and my mom had been asking me what I wanted for Christmas and I told her I didn't want anything, I had everything I need and not to get me anything.
Well, come Christmas morning there were a number of gifts with my name on them.. we always hand out all the gifts first and we each had a pretty decent pile..
We always start with the youngest and go up so I was like 3rd or 4th in line, and everyone had pretty normal gifts.. gloves, PJs, usual winter gift stuff.
My turn comes up, I probably have maybe 8 or 9 small packages to open. I open the first one and it's a box of Hamburger Helper.
I laughed and was like, uh thanks Mom..and then I continue.. after 3 boxes of Hamburger/Tuna Helper there's a couple cans of Chef Boyardee and Spaghettios and I'm like.. do you think I'm not eating or something, or are you trying to kill me?
What's with all the random food?
Her response? "No, I just felt bad that you didn't have anything to open on Christmas! You can go put those back in the cabinet when you're done."
Thanks, mom.
Outback Steak House? Worth it.
A co-worker of mine won a radio show contest where people were invited to describe the crappiest office gift they ever got.
My friend was the secretary of an IT company and her boss gave her a plastic bowl for Christmas. And it wasn't even a nice plastic bowl.
The first time she put it in the microwave, it exploded.
She won the contest and got a $100 gift card to Outback Steak House. Her boss insisted she take him since it was his crappy gift that caused her to win the contest.
- EGoldenRule
GiphyNow THAT'S cheap.
My uncle is notoriously cheap. One year he gave me a magazine that had Ichiro Suzuki on the cover. It was a free magazine (as it stated on the bottom of the cover).
Another year he also gave me a free t-shirt he had gotten for running a race.
Possibly the best, was the birthday gift he gave my dad one year- a McDonalds Happy Meal toy.
- BooksandPandas
Good riddance.
Maybe not the most WTF, but at my old company, we had a secret Santa gift exchange. The manager drew my name, and gifted me a very clearly used zoodler.
He proceeded to explain, in front of everyone, that he though I would have more use for it, as he only ate "real noodles".
I don't work there anymore.
- lola__bunny
Kinda cool but really weird.
An Egyptian pharaoh pen when I was in middle school. It was all gold colored, and the pen barrel stuck out between his legs.
Needless to say i was mocked mercilessly by my classmates for having this massive Egyptian dong pen.
- artnerdhippie
What size?
I have been disabled my entire life. It affects the footwear choices in my life. My mom has bought me dozens of pairs of slippers that I cannot wear. Sometimes multiple pairs per year. I have given up at this point. I just give them away.
When I was a teen, before I moved out she also had given me embroidered dish towels with weird sayings.
She also refuses to actually get my damn size and just holds clothes in the air and looks at them to decide if it looks like it should fit.
- anniemdi
Hope it was good cheese.
A cheese and champagne gift set that had the champagne and most of the other goodies taken out of it. So cheese in a mostly empty box.
- haggisforthesoul
A good rat-boi.
A pet rat, based on me having told the gifter that when I was in elementary school I liked the school's pet rat. I was 26 when I received this gift.
Rat turned out to be a very good rat-boi and we mourned his loss approximately 2 years later.
- jchrysostom
GiphyUm....what?
I randomly went to some extended family Christmas event and they gave me a woven basket. Within ten minutes, they had asked for the basket back. It "meant something" to them?? I didn't really care, I thought it was odd and funny.
- Impairedmilkman13
Ok, Grandma.
Christmas, 1993. I was eleven.
My grandma gave me one half of a pool cue.
She gifted the other half to my then-8-year-old brother.
Grandma: "See? You can only use it if you two cooperate and share!"
We did not own a pool table.
- CaptainWisconsin
Dang.
For my 6th grade class Kris Kringle, I received a pack of three tennis balls and a handmade voodoo doll of one of my closest friends. The voodoo doll was constructed of fabric, taped together with sticky tape with sticks inside the limbs so I could 'break' her bones and the face drawn on with a sharpie. It was not specified what the tennis balls were for.
The kid who made me the doll was notorious for his disturbing and unusual behaviour and antics so I wasn't completely surprised by the horrifying gift. Needless to say, he was forced to write me an apology note.
- MadamePandemonium
GiphySalad spinner?
Ok. So, for context my dad was a pretty self-destructive alcoholic, and would often do his Christmas shopping towards the last minute, but not like to go to malls or places that had a lot of variety or choice.
One year he gave me a very carelessly wrapped package. It contained a very crappy remote-control car, also not with any batteries (which is a problem in Australia because everything is closed on Xmas Day haha). I was 26 years old, and had shown ZERO interest in cars. And I realised a few days later he got it from the local petrol station.
Another one was when my mum got me a salad spinner as a semi-gag gift. This was due to her being forgetful and somehow getting me confused with my younger sister, who had tis stupid joke whenever we would all go shopping to point out the salad spinners and pretending to get very excited.
I opened the gift and went "what the?!" and mum went "get it?! It's a SALAD SPINNERRRRR!" in a pretty decent impression of the way my sister would do it. I turned to my sister, gave it to her and said "I think this one was meant for you..."
- TubaDude84
Weird family bonding but ok....
Last Saturday was my birthday and we decided to celebrate at my grandparents' house. My cousin shows up forgetting it's my birthday runs back outside to the car and comes back with a take out box. She tell me happy birthday and gives it to me. I open it and it's one sigliar frozen cheese ravioli.
Then my dad walks over picks up the ravioli smells it and says if I don't want it he'll take. So then my brother wants to smell it so then everyone was passing around the ravioli smelling it.
- Subtly_Existing
Some "gift".
One year for Christmas my grandma gave me the free socks and disposable toothbrush she got on a flight. From her trip to Europe with one of my sisters.
- BabyBelarus
GiphyThat's sketchy AF.
So I had a therapist (for anxiety and ptsd) who realized that I was really good with kids, so she asked me to help at her ADHD kids group. I knew it was sketchy, one should never work at their therapist, but I needed the money and making music with the kids was so much fun. So every two weeks she'd give me 150€.
But after some time things changed and she sort of used therapy hours to tell me about her problems and I felt, I had to go, because she was more interested in who I was good for (she tried to set me up with other clients to become friends, because she thought I'd be good for them).
So I just waited for the last straw to tip me over the edge and then one day, instead of giving me the 150€ she usually paid me she instead gave me a WEIRD CELLULITE MASSAGE THING that she swore helped so much and literally said: "You could be such a pretty girl". I was just dumbfounded at what the hell she was thinking. I thought about what to say for a few days and then quite literally broke up with her. I had to calm her down and she didn't understand why that gift was just a big wtf.
But hey, I have a much better therapist now, she knows what is appropriate and is awesome.
- CuriousKathie
I had one of these with my Nana that turned into a fucking Hallmark life lesson.
High School, 1998 or so. At some point in October or so I mentioned casually during a visit that my bedroom was chilly at night. Come Christmas, I open my gift from Nana. A space heater.
As a teenager who was hoping for video games or CDs or other such things, I put on the forced-smile rictus and thanked her for the gift while internally bemoaning all the loot that could have been. I must have been grossly unconvincing because she got a bit anxiously-defensive, "You said your room was cold! I thought it'd help out!"
Later that night we head home, I plug the space heater in when I go to bed because why not?
My God. My God, you all!
The DIFFERENCE that space heater made. Actual f'king comfortable sleep for once. No waking up halfway through the night shivering, or getting shocked awake by my foot straying too far from out of the covers.
The next time I went to her house I gave Nana a giant hug, and told her how much better my room was at night with that space heater, and gave her an actual genuine thank you. I didn't even mind the following "I told you it'd help!"
Ever since that Christmas, when I get something practical for Christmas from Nana, I thank her sincerely, because it WILL be useful. I still use that space heater twenty years after the fact, too.
- Strawberrycocoa
It might be the thought that counts, but maybe some of these people should have thought a little more.
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Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap DierenartsenGiphyWhat Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPostGiphyWho Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIFGiphySleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphyIs That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & GraceGiphy"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
