Guess what b*tches, Christmas is right around the corner. And that means another year of getting thoughtless gifts, useless stuff you don't need, and socks. All the socks. Here are some of the weirdest gifts these Redditors have ever received.
u/diswell asked: What's the biggest 'WTF' gift you've ever received?
A wholesome mom.
One year I came home for Christmas and my mom had been asking me what I wanted for Christmas and I told her I didn't want anything, I had everything I need and not to get me anything.
Well, come Christmas morning there were a number of gifts with my name on them.. we always hand out all the gifts first and we each had a pretty decent pile..
We always start with the youngest and go up so I was like 3rd or 4th in line, and everyone had pretty normal gifts.. gloves, PJs, usual winter gift stuff.
My turn comes up, I probably have maybe 8 or 9 small packages to open. I open the first one and it's a box of hamburger helper. I laughed and was like, uh thanks Mom..and then I continue.. after 3 boxes of hamburger/tuna helper there's a couple cans of Chef Boyardee and Spaghettios and I'm like.. do you think I'm not eating or something, or are you trying to kill me? What's with all the random food?
Her response? "No, I just felt bad that you didn't have anything to open on Christmas! You can go put those back in the cabinet when you're done."
Thanks, mom.
Outback Steak House? Worth it.
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A co-worker of mine won a radio show contest where people were invited to describe the crappiest office gift they ever got. My friend was the secretary of an IT company and her boss gave her a plastic bowl for Christmas. And it wasn't even a nice plastic bowl. The first time she put it in the microwave, it melted.
She won the contest and got a $100 gift card to Outback Steak House. Her boss insisted she take him since it was his crappy gift that caused her to win the contest.
Now THAT'S cheap.
My uncle is notoriously cheap. One year he gave me a magazine that had Ichiro Suzuki on the cover. It was a free magazine (as it stated on the bottom of the cover). Another year he also gave me a free t-shirt he had gotten for running a race.
Possibly the best, was the birthday gift he gave my dad one year- a McDonalds Happy Meal toy.
Good riddance.
Maybe not the most WTF, but at my old company, we had a secret Santa gift exchange. The manager drew my name, and gifted me a very clearly used zoodler. He proceeded to explain, in front of everyone, that he though I would have more use for it, as he only ate "real noodles".
I don't work there anymore.
Kinda cool but really weird.
An Egyptian pharaoh pen when I was in middle school. It was all gold colored, and the pen barrel stuck out between his legs.
Needless to say i was mocked mercilessly by my classmates for having this massive Egyptian dong pen.
What size?
I have been disabled my entire life. It affects the footwear choices in my life. My mom has bought me dozens of pairs of slippers that I cannot wear. Sometimes multiple pairs per year. I have given up at this point. I just give them away.
When I was a teen, before I moved out she also had given me embroidered dish towels with weird sayings.
She also refuses to actually get my damn size and just holds clothes in the air and looks at them to decide if it looks like it should fit.
Hope it was good cheese.
A cheese and champagne gift set that had the champagne and most of the other goodies taken out of it. So cheese in a mostly empty box.
A good rat-boi.
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A pet rat, based on me having told the gifter that when I was in elementary school I liked the school's pet rat. I was 26 when I received this gift.
Rat turned out to be a very good rat-boi and we mourned his loss approximately 2 years later.
Um....what?
I randomly went to some extended family Christmas event and they gave me a woven basket. Within ten minutes, they had asked for the basket back. It "meant something" to them?? I didn't really care, I thought it was odd and funny.
Ok, Grandma.
Christmas, 1993. I was eleven.
My grandma gave me one half of a pool cue.
She gifted the other half to my then-8-year-old brother.
Grandma: "See? You can only use it if you two cooperate and share!"
We did not own a pool table.
Dang.
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For my 6th grade class Kris Kringle, I received a pack of three tennis balls and a handmade voodoo doll of one of my closest friends. The voodoo doll was constructed of fabric, taped together with sticky tape with sticks inside the limbs so I could 'break' her bones and the face drawn on with a sharpie. It was not specified what the tennis balls were for.
The kid who made me the doll was notorious for his disturbing and unusual behaviour and antics so I wasn't completely surprised by the horrifying gift. Needless to say, he was forced to write me an apology note.
Salad spinner?
Ok. So, for context my dad was a pretty self-destructive alcoholic, and would often do his Christmas shopping towards the last minute, but not like to go to malls or places that had a lot of variety or choice.
One year he gave me a very carelessly wrapped package. It contained a very crappy remote-control car, also not with any batteries (which is a problem in Australia because everything is closed on Xmas Day haha). I was 26 years old, and had shown ZERO interest in cars. And I realised a few days later he got it from the local petrol station.
Another one was when my mum got me a salad spinner as a semi-gag gift. This was due to her being forgetful and somehow getting me confused with my younger sister, who had tis stupid joke whenever we would all go shopping to point out the salad spinners and pretending to get very excited.
I opened the gift and went "what the?!" and mum went "get it?! It's a SALAD SPINNERRRRR!" in a pretty decent impression of the way my sister would do it. I turned to my sister, gave it to her and said "I think this one was meant for you..."
Weird family bonding but ok....
Last Saturday was my birthday and we decided to celebrate at my grandparents' house. My cousin shows up forgetting it's my birthday runs back outside to the car and comes back with a take out box. She tell me happy birthday and gives it to me. I open it and it's one sigliar frozen cheese ravioli.
Then my dad walks over picks up the ravioli smells it and says if I don't want it he'll take. So then my brother wants to smell it so then everyone was passing around the ravioli smelling it.
Some "gift".
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One year for Christmas my grandma gave me the free socks and disposable toothbrush she got on a flight. From her trip to Europe with one of my sisters.
That's sketchy AF.
So I had a therapist (for anxiety and ptsd) who realized that I was really good with kids, so she asked me to help at her ADHD kids group. I knew it was sketchy, one should never work at their therapist, but I needed the money and making music with the kids was so much fun. So every two weeks she'd give me 150€.
But after some time things changed and she sort of used therapy hours to tell me about her problems and I felt, I had to go, because she was more interested in who I was good for (she tried to set me up with other clients to become friends, because she thought I'd be good for them).
So I just waited for the last straw to tip me over the edge and then one day, instead of giving me the 150€ she usually paid me she instead gave me a WEIRD CELLULITE MASSAGE THING that she swore helped so much and literally said: "You could be such a pretty girl". I was just dumbfounded at what the hell she was thinking. I thought about what to say for a few days and then quite literally broke up with her. I had to calm her down and she didn't understand why that gift was just a big wtf.
But hey, I have a much better therapist now, she knows what is appropriate and is awesome.
Ordering food or, for the time being, enjoying a socially distanced lunch at an establishment is convenient, but it can take a toll on your wallet.
So what options are there?
Fortunately, there are plenty of them that do not involve nuking a frozen entree.
Strangers on the internet shared their amateur culinary wisdom when Redditor SandandS0n asked:
"What's your go-to under 5 minute meal?"
These dinner selections are super sufficient.
In Case You Didn't Know
"Quesadilla. super quick and easy to make and there's a ton of ingredients that you can add without much effort that will make it even better."
– Arcinbiblo12
Noodling Around
"Ramen and an egg, but not the traditional way."
- "Boil roughly half an inch of water (we want just enough water to boil the noodles, with very little water left over when it's done boiling)."
- "Smash up the ramen noodles, while still in the package (optional but cooks MUCH faster)."
- "Open the package and remove the seasoning."
- "Dump the noodles in."
- "While boiling, crack an egg and whisk in a small bowl."
- "Noodles should be done and almost all the water should be gone, if not strain out some.
- Remove from the heat."
- "Slowly pour in the egg while mixing very quickly, try not to let the egg touch the pan."
- "Mix as much of the seasoning packet as you like (I prefer 1/2 - 3/4 because I usually add a salty component at the end.)"
- "Add to bowl and top with some chives, thinly sliced, ripped up ham/salami and/or parsley. Leftover bacon or pancetta are fantastic crunchy components to dial up the texture."
"Easy, fast and checks so many of the 'munchie' boxes for me."
noodles ramen GIF by HUANG'S WORLDGiphyDon't Underestimate Soups
"Tomato soup and add tortellini. I like the spinach ones from Trader Joe's and Progreso creamy tomato with basil. It's bomb and it really makes a decent meal."
– ambernoodle
For people in a rush, these tasty snacks would suffice.
Goes Well With Veggies And Cheese
"Hummus is such an underrated food. It goes well with a lot of veggies and breads and chips or heck even cheese. All the time I hear hummus being listed as one of those weird, gross foods when its actually an amazing snack, or a meal if done correctly. It's not really unhealthy, either, especially if eaten with veggies (celery and carrots go great with hummus)."
Ready In Seconds
"All I do is get a paper towel, and put 5 Oreos on it."
– KeengPeach
"Then go back and get the whole package."
Peanut Butter Fantasies
"Peanut butter sandwich."
– IgnoreMe733
"If I'm feeling extra froggy I'll add nutella to the peanut butter and honey sandwich and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Goes down about as well as a popeye's biscuit though."
– saluki352
Nature's Candy
"Fruit."
"It's like cheating the system. You eat sweets and call it healthy."
Start your day without all the hassle of a fancy breakfast.
Put It In A Bowl
"Oatmeal or cereal."
– essa618
"Cereal is definitely underrated as a meal outside of the breakfast dynamic."
– johndavidcard
Thanks, Nonna!
"A very simple recipe my grandma prepared for me when i was a kid."
"It's basically scrambled eggs...but before adding the egg she would cook sweetcorn (from a can) with a little bit of butter, add the eggs and then when the eggs were almost ready, add small cubes of cheese and cook for a minute or until the cheese start to melt (she was using fontal, but any swiss or white cheddar will do). Just a little black pepper and salt."
"Takes 5 minutes to do but it's absolutely delicious, fill you up, not so unhealthy and I feel my late grandma with me."
'I tried variations with chives or spring onions, paprika or other stuff. Still good but nothing as good as a simple "uova strapazzate con mais e formaggio.'"
"Grazie nonna"
– Xelorath
I consider yogurt a healthy snack/lunch option.
I like having a bowl of non-fat plain Greek yogurt with raspberries, blueberries, sprinkled with granola and drizzled with honey.
It's packed with nutrients and gives me a nice boost of energy.
Yogurt also makes for a perfect chip dip. I sprinkle some onion soup mix and stir in the mixture. Who knew quick and easy food prep could be so delicious?