What's in a name? For these kids, a lifetime of questions, like where the name "Tuba Poo" came from. There are some strange ones out there. Whyyyyyyy?
Frasepalm asked Reddit: What baby name immediately makes you lose all respect for the parents and why?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Globes are our friends.
One time when I was working at a motel, I took a reservation over the phone from a woman for her daughter:
Woman: Her name is Sri Lanka, S R I space L A N K A...
Me: Oh, you mean like the country!
Woman: Whaddaya mean, country?!?
How does someone manage this???????????
My brother, a teacher, has a "Success."
I taught a few of those... and ShaNautical and ShaCorya (names after her dad Cory, of course).
Those poor kids.
I was on a little league baseball team with these two brothers named Doer and Achiever.
Talk about pressure to perform, those parents had expectations.
In Freakonomics there's a story of two brothers called Winner and Loser. Feels bad, but Winner ended up in jail and Loser became a cop.
I was once checking in a customer for service.
And she was very proud of it.
I didn't know Chanel had an Emo line. 2005-me would have so identified with that.
Names with unneccessary letters or the rarely-seen, lack of necessary letters:
Haha I work with a guy named Aron. We all call him One-A-Ron
As if telling them apart weren't hard enough...
I know some twins named Jeffrey and Jeffroy and it's just lazy.
My parent regret named my brother and I names that start with the same letter, but twins with functionally the same name would be horrible.
When you want your kids to be a theme.
The overly matchy names to the point of ridiculousness. My top example is a set of brothers named Romance, Romantic, and Romeo.
Knew a family with Hunter, Fisher, and Ryder.
I know one with Gunner, Fisher, and River
Other names in the family: the father's brother's name with "Ann" added to the end to make it a girls name, and the 5th one is just the fathers name (+Junior.) Mom is pregnant now with #s 6 and 7
I knew one with River, Meadow and Autumn. Separate family but this one kid was called Blade.
Come on now.
Any "creative" spelling of a normal name. Like spelling:
Charles-Sharlz (yes I know one)
And so on.
Isaac spelled Yxyc. A friend who teaches God that one in her class one year.
Edit: got... But I'm leaving the autocorrect because amusing
I have an uncle Isaac that is spelled Yssaq. He came here from Afghanistan in the 70s though, so at least that makes sense.
What a carry.
Prancer and Vixen for babies born during the Christmas season.
Vixen just sounds way too much like a pornstar name.
It's actually pronounced like the German word "wichsen" which is a common rude word for jerking off.
There's a fairly common last name of Semenyuk that never fails to make me smirk.
I used to write on cakes, the worst name I ever saw was "Tuba Poo". I asked if it was a nickname, it was not. It's been like 6 years and it still haunts me. Her mother's name was Natalie, why Natalie? Why?
Damn Natalie, you crazy.
Big Bible fail.
My sister-in-law named her kid after the land of Canaan (biblical reference). For those not in the know, it's pronounced "cay-nin", or "cay-nun." She decided to pronounce it "cannon" ("Canon").
Not only is she one of the least Christian people I have ever met (who adamantly says she follows the Bible), she also consciously chose a well-known name and purposely mispronounced it for her kid's name.
Edit: my wife just reminded me that not only did her sister do the above, she also chose to spell his name "Kanann."
This is made worse when you consider that the land of Canaan is named for Ham's son that was cursed into slavery after Ham (Noah's son) looked upon Noah's drunken nakedness.
So my Wife was giving birth to our first Son and the midwife asked if we'd chosen a name yet. We said yes and told her 'Seth'. She replied "Oh thank goodness, a normal name! The last woman in here named her child Precious Bunny!"
After finding out I was having a boy my OB asked if we'd chosen a name, and I said "yes, his name is Owen." She let out a huge grin and said "oh, a name I can spell! I love those."
Let's hope it works out better for the kids.
My cousin named her son named Lincoln, which isn't bad by itself.
At least until she had her daughter, Kennedy. She said she plans on naming her next kid Garfield.
She literally names her kids after the last names of assassinated presidents.
I think she wants her kids to be assassinated.
Plot twist: She wants her kids to be assassins.
"Go son, and avenge your namesake."
Back when I worked with children, I met a young lass named Younique. I felt sorry for her. She was only 4-5 at the time, and the moment she entered school, she began to hate it because the other children thought that it was silly and wouldn't play with her. Eventually, the dad of another child said that it was a bad name to her face. Seriously. Don't do things like this to your children. They aren't pets. They'll have to deal with the repercussions of your bad naming choices.
Who names their kid after a sh*tty MLM?
They're not all bad.
Actually had a student named Justin. Last name Thyme.
There's a guy who won American Idol/ X Factor called Phillip Phillips.
Jimmy Hendrix Experience's drummer, Mitch Mitchell.
Rams safety, John Johnson III, not only was he given this name, but his grandparents and parents as well.
What's the wildest baby name you've ever seen?