People Share The Most Ridiculous Things A Man's Done To Protect His Fragile Masculinity[rebelmouse-image 18357114 is_animated_gif=
There is a misconception that men must be strong and display a lack of emotion to qualify them as men, when in fact this does the opposite and makes them look desperate to protect their masculinity. These people share the most ridiculous thing a man has done to make himself seem more masculine.
What is the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen a man do to defend their masculinity?
When he doesn't do pretty[rebelmouse-image 18357116 is_animated_gif=
My dad will not tolerate being served food that was set to look "pretty".
The sensitivity is real[rebelmouse-image 18357117 is_animated_gif=
A few weeks ago my wife and I visited a friend in another country. We got to know her boyfriend, who was a bit... special. He teased her relentlessly, all the time, and could not take any criticism at all.
Once, we were arriving back at the house (by car, he was driving), when she jokingly told him "I drive way better than you!", referring to the narrow alleyways in their town and how she has no issues parking in tiny spots.
Apparently, he saw that as an offense to his manlihood which he just could not let slide in front of his girlfriend and us, two almost complete strangers in the back seat. He started accelerating like a maniac, going about 80 kilometers an hour in an old European town in the mountains (where you don't see any cars coming and the roads are really narrow), his girlfriend screaming at him to stop. He did this for about two streets before he turned around and drove back.
When he's better than the essentials[rebelmouse-image 18357118 is_animated_gif=
Refuse to drink water. Ever.
No pink pens![rebelmouse-image 18357119 is_animated_gif=
I used to work at a bakery where each clerk had to bring their own pens to have customers sign receipts with (if they paid with a card). I had a pink pen with a little duck on top and one day a customer refused to sign with it. He got really mad that I didn't have another pen and walked out to his car to find a pen that wasn't "girly".
Some men just can't do certain things[rebelmouse-image 18357120 is_animated_gif=
Stepbrother is the type of guy that refuses to hold his girlfriends purse. Once at a small family dinner she went to the bathroom, after a minute she must have texted him and he goes to check on her, they quietly argued a little and were clearly mad but trying to hide it the whole night after. Turns out she needed a tampon from her purse and he wouldn't even bring the purse too her, she had to text my sister to bring it to her.
Because men are strong...[rebelmouse-image 18357121 is_animated_gif=
It was raining and I offered a guy my umbrella and he refused, saying they were for just for women.
I didn't even know that was a thing.
When he was born with all the experience[rebelmouse-image 18357122 is_animated_gif=
A guy tried to immasculate me in my weightlifting class, the problem being he had never lifted in his life. It should be noted that this was guy was a one-upper. If anyone had a talent or had anything remotely interesting to say, he was there to out-do them.
I was showing him how to do bench press and I was doing 155, which is my max. Not a lot of weight, but again, it's a lot when you've never lifted. He proceeded to attempt the weight I was doing while I was at the water fountain. Unfortunately I couldn't get there before he gave himself a hairline fracture in his sternum.
That's so gay[rebelmouse-image 18357124 is_animated_gif=
Two male classmates and I were on a fieldtrip and got caught in the rain. I had a raincoat, and Guy1 had an umbrella. He offered to share it with the Guy2, who had no rain gear. Guy2 insisted it was gay to share an umbrella with another man. He would only use the umbrella if he carried it, while I walked under it with him and Guy1 borrowed my raincoat. This didn't fly because
A. I wasn't about to give up my raincoat for the paltry protection lent by huddling under an umbrella, and
B. Guy1 would not have fit my raincoat.
So Guy2 got soaked.
The tampon effect[rebelmouse-image 18357125 is_animated_gif=
Back in middle school (when uggs were still in fashion), I had a pair of ffuggs (fake fake uggs) that I kept things in that I didn't want people to see. My phone, tampons,money,etc.
Well one day aunt flo comes along and I attempt to sneakily put a tampon in my boot to go to the bathroom (I was still self-consious at the time about periods). I raise my hand, get up and try to walk to the door, trip and my boot falls off and my tampon rolls to this dude. He pics it up, not realizing what it is. When he realizes he screams like a girl and the people around start giggling as he throws it in the air.
Well he didn't like being laughed at so to redeem himself, he grabs the tampon and starts gnawing on it with his teeth, full on dog attack style. Then he spits it out knto the floor.
I was not happy and people just kinda looked around awkwardly and went back to work.
When he has to put an end to copy cats[rebelmouse-image 18357126 is_animated_gif=
I work with an insane over the top alpha ego f*** boy. We all go out for drinks one night and he literally tells me I should go fight a random stranger in the bar because we have a similar hair cut.
The man must lead![rebelmouse-image 18346556 is_animated_gif=
I had a guy tell me "I' the man, I walk ahead" while we were in my part of the city where clearly I was the one who knew the way. It ended up with me turning the right way and then him jumping in front of me and walking ahead. It was kinda goofy but I could tell that at the core he was serious.
Teaching the children about men[rebelmouse-image 18347330 is_animated_gif=
Some years back I had a guy block me on FB and stop talking to me at work because I posted a pic of me in make-up that my daughter did and then a second pic of me in a sarong with same make up.
She was 10 and wanted a model to work on. It was hilarious fun and it will be a long lived great memory of me and my little girl having a good laugh.
Apparently he was talking behind my back about me being gay and I was teaching my daughter the wrong things about what 'being a man' meant and what girls should expect. The other blokes are as crazy as me and didn't think much of him.
When straight pride is more important than money[rebelmouse-image 18347332 is_animated_gif=
At a school dance it was cheaper to get in if you were a couple, I can't remember exactly how much it was probly 10 or 20 bucks cheaper. The teacher at the door was cool so even if you came with your group of guy friends he would just pair you off and charge you the cheaper price. These two jock type guys refused to be paired together and demanded they each pay their separate entrance fee.
When your masculinity effects your diet[rebelmouse-image 18345366 is_animated_gif=
My brother won't eat foods that resemble semen. No mayonnaise, no yogurt or sour cream, nothing. He won't even eat the melted frosting on a cinnabon. Masculinity so fragile
The MALE nurse[rebelmouse-image 18357128 is_animated_gif=
I once had a housemate who was a "male nurse". Not a nurse. A "male nurse". If you forgot the "male", you were always corrected.
It's a small price for a man[rebelmouse-image 18357130 is_animated_gif=
My husband has long hair and usually has a few hair ties on his wrist because of it, one of the guys I used to work with also has long hair and couldn't find a suitable replacement for the rubber band he'd lost. My husband upon noticing offered him his last hair tie that just so happened to be pink, and this dude went a damn tirade saying how he wasn't gay and wasn't going to wear it. Then went through the rest of the day in 102° heat, soaked with sweat and his hair just getting all stuck to his face and s***. This same dude also refused to ever put on sunscreen or wear gloves even though we worked outside with tools pretty much every damn day, so he'd constantly be sunburned and peeling and always had these huge painful looking blisters on his hands
The man always pays[rebelmouse-image 18350545 is_animated_gif=
Went on a date with a cop. He paid for dinner and we went for coffee. I quickly paid for the drinks and his attitude turned sour after that. He thought that by me paying, it made him less of a man. It was just a nice gesture. He's still single.
When the man has a game plan[rebelmouse-image 18357131 is_animated_gif=
Once in a nightclub, a ridiculously muscular guy was trying to drunkenly dance with every girl around and rub against them but seeing this didn't work, he tried to draw their attention by starting to do push ups in the middle of the dance floor even if there was broken glass everywhere.
Not the door![rebelmouse-image 18357132 is_animated_gif=
I've had men basically refuse to walk through doors that I've opened for them.
Most people are asked what they do for a living upon meeting someone for the first time.
It's definitely a good conversation starter. But while some people's professions are generally understood by the majority, there are other professions that entail more than what is outlined in a job description.
Hoping to be enlightened, Redditor memereda_vanwolf asked:
"What are facts about your job that general public has no idea about?"
There are simple solutions to seemingly complicated issues.
A Quick Fix
"I work in IT support. Legit about 80% of all problems are solved by rebooting the computer/terminal/phone."
"If not, 20 percent is pure detective work."
"Radioactive contamination can often just be cleaned with Windex or even water."
Facts about these specific professions are truly eye-opening.
The Finest Detail
"I work at a large biotech/pharmaceutical manufacturing company. The drugs you take or buy from your local pharmacy are so insanely and meticulously regulated & inspected at every step of the journey - from petri dish to pharmacy shelf, that you could take a pill from a bottle and it can be traced back to the exact room it was made in, the exact equipment that was used, who was responsible for each step, and the time it was made down to the very second. Seriously, there is no misteps when it comes to GxP."
Corporate Allocation Of Funds
"Working for giant companies, it’s comical how many systems are raggedy messes of bare-bones functionality. All available money gets thrown at certain projects, leaving everything else to work on complete shoe-strings."
Legalities Of Being An Organ Donor
"I work in organ donation."
"The general public doesn’t understand literally any of it."
"One notable thing is that when you register to be an organ donor, it’s a legally binding declaration about your wishes after death. It is akin to a will under gift law."
"Anaesthetics- we only ask about your illicit drug use so we don’t kill you when we give you a general anaesthetic and that you have appropriate pain relief."
"You’ll have a tolerance that we need to counter by giving you a variety of drugs and more of them."
"No judgement from us on your choices - just want to actually take care of your properly."
Dealing With The Deceased
"I was a licensed Cremationist for 8 years. Regardless how hard we tried, that wasn’t just grandma or grandpa in the urn…."
Never Assume You're Always Safe
"Ex-security guard here."
"We're not there to protect you. We're there to observe and report. Don't assume that just because whatever building you're working in has security that you're safe. Especially if security is of the unarmed variety."
"That as a trucker, that space I left in front of me is so I don’t kill anybody, NOT your personal invitation to jump in front of my bumper because you forgot your exit or whatever reason. So many want to get in front of us and slow down and park in front my bumper."
"YSK: Don’t believe the billboards those ambulance chasing lawyers put up about big truck accidents mean big bucks. Only survivors get money, most likely not you. If you do survive, more than likely your quality of life is going to be miserable."
"Also YSK: these trucks can weigh up to 80,000 pounds, 34,000 pounds empty and around 20,000 pounds without the trailer. How does that compare to your SUV or even your lifted pickup. Do us all a favor and give us some space, leave us room so that you can live and go home to your family"
"One final thought, NEVER assume the other driver sees you."
Some jobs have great perks.
These are sorely lacking in company benefits.
"Crisis hotline. Sometimes we get really disturbing prank calls. I always encourage people to call back if they are ever in crisis. A lot of times, they (the prank callers) do."
First Things First
"When you call 911, please say your address before anything else. It doesn’t matter if someone is actively dying, say your address first. (I’m from a rural area so this might just be a problem where I’m from) but if you’re calling on a cell phone sometimes it can ping in a completely different spot then you are. If you call and don’t say where you are and we get disconnected, I might not have any clue where to send rescue/police/fire and therefore I cannot help you. Say your address (if you don’t know then please give like a cross street or notable location) first, then preferably your name, THEN tell me what’s going on."
"A lot of people assume that we automatically have a precise location where they’re at, and the systems can be pretty accurate but you can’t always rely on them. If you say the address and we get disconnected I can at least send someone to the area to figure out what needs to be done."
"(Source: I am a 911 dispatcher and I have so many people scream at me for not automatically knowing their location)"
Respect Your Masseuse
"I'm a massage therapist. I don't care if you didn't shave. But please wash your feet."
I usually have interesting conversations with Uber or Lyft drivers as a passenger.
They've disclosed the questionable policies of the companies they respectively work for and divulged traffic tips and what routes are best to take to get to certain destinations.
But what captivated me most were the stories about the passengers they've picked up.
Without going into detail, riders can be absolutely deplorable and inconsiderate.
One anecdote made me very anxious about sitting in the back seat and made me checking for stains.
Some on-the-job facts are better left a mystery. So, you're welcome for me sparing you the disgusting details.
Rules are rules.
And they're made to be broken.
Unless you have strict parents that don't play those games.
I was pretty lucky, I had a freedom growing up.
But I had a few friends who had it rough.
Redditorcallierkapwanted to hear from everyone whose parents caused more stress than necessary when growing up. They asked:
"Redditors who grew up with strict parents, what was the most absurd rule you had to follow?"
I wasn't allowed to cross the street without my. other's permission. It was weird. But now that I drive... I get it.
AloneLonely Bucks Bango GIF by Milwaukee BucksGiphy
"I was only allow to go to school and come back home, my parents never allowed me to hangout with friends after school or on the weekends."
"I could totally see my friends, but effectively wasn't allowed to make any. I was homeschooled so I didn’t have any, and church wasn’t really anyone under 50, so I just never had any communication with anyone who wasn’t an adult until college. This vastly set me back along with my siblings and I didn’t go on my first date until 23."
Make it Quick
"My parents expected me to call them and ask for permission to go out at night (which in their minds was after dinner and included movies) throughout college. And furthermore I had to use a calling card with limited minutes because my college was long-distance from them."
"My goal was to end the call quickly which usually meant acquiescing to their rigid rules and staying in. Took me entirely too long to realize that they were in fact half a day's drive away, so I could do what I wished without always checking in."
I am Meek
"Not being allowed up in my room during the day. (It was okay to go up there once it got close to bedtime, but it was hit or miss... I could never quite figure out the exact time it became acceptable.) My mom would always yell for me to come back downstairs if I disappeared up to my room for more than five or ten minutes at a time. And a related rule: not being allowed to shut my bedroom door, except briefly when dressing."
"For context, I was an introverted girl who loved to read, and I just preferred the peace and quiet of my room. Also, I was a very meek child who never got into trouble, so those rules weren't made because of any misbehaviour on my part. It seemed absurd to me then, and still seems absurd to me now."
Who?he's cute tv land GIF by YoungerTVGiphy
"It wasn’t a rule but, when I was 13, my mom overheard me telling some friends a guy on TV was cute. She made me feel so ashamed that, to this day, I’m reluctant to actually point out a cute guy to friends or voice my appreciation when they do it. It’s awkward."
Wow and I thought I had it bad because I wanted more allowance.
Less WordsArgue Donald Trump GIF by Wave.videoGiphy
"I do high level debate in high school, so in every argument we had, I wasn't allowed to use it because it was too insulting to them or something. Very many arguments were had in form of screaming and cussing at each other."
In the Middle...
"As the middle kid, I had a lot more rules compared to my siblings. My older brother moved out of my dads house so it was me and my little brother, who was spoiled rotten. I wasn't allowed to go to bed until my little brother said I could. He was allowed to hit me as much as he wanted. Keep in mind, I'm a female, now 18. He is four years younger."
"I moved out when I was 17. Also, he was allowed to do whatever he wanted and I had to do his chores and mine in under an hour. My chores were the dishes, taking the dog out, sweeping, mopping, steam mopping, vacuuming, laundry, and bathrooms. We lived in a 4 bed, 3.5 bathroom house. It also had a basement that my dad used for his man cave. My brothers chores were to clean his room, and take the trash out."
"I did all of his chores everyday and mine and it took me from 6 AM (I also wasn't allowed to sleep in but he could) until 3 or 4 PM. And I was doing online school. I failed school and was told I was only good as a servant. I was also getting abused but I moved out and now my fiancé helps me get over the trauma."
2 years later...
"When I went to boarding school, if I gained even 0.1kg of weight, I would have all electronics, which included my phone, tablet and laptop, taken away from me until 2 years later when my parents said I could have them back. I wasn't allowed to leave the school grounds unless I had their permission. I didn't give a f**k what they said and still left the school on weekends, but the farthest I went was the little co op 50 meters from the school because that's all I ever wanted to go to."
I Feel for Her
"I’d say I have some of the least strict parents and it’s made me realize the insane things my friend’s parents do. I have a friend from a hispanic household, she’s not allowed to wear makeup, and must get permission to go out. This wouldn’t be weird if she wasn’t literally 20, with a driver’s license, car, and 2 sources of income including the military. They don’t let her move out. She’s being deployed to Kuwait indefinitely and I haven’t gotten to see her once before she leaves."
HydrateJohnny Depp Drinking GIFGiphy
"My siblings and I couldn't drink anything during our meal. If we wanted anything to drink, we had to have it before we ate, and couldn't touch it again until our plate was clear."
In a Small Town
"cracks knuckles... my time to shine. I had a 7:00 curfew until I was 18 (then it only moved to 10). I live in a very small town, the kind that Walmart is considered a date, and my parents were mad I went across city lines for the movies when I was 18. I could only go out (meaning anytime I left the house including family events) twice a month. I had to turn my phone in at 9 until I was 16."
"I have the male equivalent of 'resting *itch face.' So I was forced to smile and s**t, otherwise I got in trouble for 'making a look."
It's amazing some people still grow up sane.
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Moviegoers are passionate about the genres they seek in theaters. One genre many people tend to avoid is the horror genre.
Zombies, blood-suckers, knife-wielding maniacs, anyone? That's a hard "nope" from many audiences who prefer laughing at Will Ferrell movies or shedding a tear from triumphant classics like Rudy rather than shrinking in their seats and bracing themselves for the next jump-scare.
But sometimes, movies that aren't marketed as horror films should really get a re-evaluation because there are moments in the film that may unintentionally creep the bejesus out of certain audiences.
Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor bellathehellgirl asked:
"What movie scares the hell outta you that isn’t a horror movie at all?"
These Redditors were not prepared for what was in store for them.
It Starts Off As Fun & Games
"Jumanji. As a kid I used to have nightmares about those monkeys chasing me."
"The Dark Crystal"
"WHAT THE F'K IS THAT THING"
Not The Oz We Remember
"Return to Oz. Saw it when I was 5. Had nightmares about the wheelers for years."
Everyone loves a Disney classic.
However, these Redditors found certain parts of the films every kid grew up loving to be absolutely terrifying.
The Wooden Boy's Trauma
"Ever watched Pinocchio as an adult?"
"That is effed up."
"The scene with the boy turning into a donkey and losing his s*t over it is downright traumatic and not the kind of body horror one expects from a kids film!"
The Lost Girl
"The original Alice in wonderland. It terrified me as a kid that she couldn’t find her way home, nobody was really helping her, she was just stuck."
"Definitely this. Not only that she's lost but that she's in a world so alien yet familiar. The kind of place where if you were stuck there your whole life you might go mad if you manage to acclimate at all. Lost forever in an alternate world with inhabitants that are so outlandish you can't tell if there really is some structure to what they do and how they think or if they really are all just mad in the head."
Well, It Is A Roald Dahl Book
"James and the Giant Peach. F'k that whole movie."
Even dramatic films involve conflicts that may be too intense for some viewers.
Too Much Stinging
"My Girl when Macaulay Culkin gets stung to death by bees. Childhood me was scared of bees for quite a while."
Blurring The Lines Of Reality
"There's a movie I remember seeing with Britney Murphy where she dropped off her husband for a medical procedure and came back to pick him up only to find out he never existed or something and was made to believe she was hallucinating the entire relationship etc.."
"The thought of learning that anything in my life is a hallucination, is terrifying to me."
"Another one I can remember was Premonition with Sandra bullock. The movie itself wasn't the greatest, but the plotline is terrifying."
These were marketed as comedy. Yet, who was laughing the entire time?
Who You Gonna Call?
"I was very young when I first saw the original Ghostbusters."
"I was NOT expecting the library ghost to do that!!!"
"I know it was meant to be a comedy and all, but Mars Attacks. Call it deep-seated child trauma from seeing it when I was too young. Watching people get disintegrated into piles of bones gave me nightmares for weeks."
I remember seeing David Lynch's Elephant Man as a kid and being traumatized after seeing the disfigured face of John Merrick.
It's supposed to be a drama that should elicit sympathy and compassion after seeing the main character being exploited and paraded around by a Victorian freak show.
But for this young viewer, the critically-acclaimed film was nothing but a traumatic moviegoing event.
What movie forever unintentionally traumatized you?
People sure do love to use hotels and motels to set the mood.
But sometimes those escapades get out of hand and disrupt the people around them.
So how would you get them to stop?
Redditorsaxonn_88wanted to hear how people would ruin carnal activites. They asked:
"The people in the hotel room next to you are having really loud obnoxious sex, how do you ruin the mood?"
I just put in headphones when people are going at it.
"don't stop, I need this!"Stephen Colbert Hello GIF by The Late Show With Stephen ColbertGiphy
"Had this happen to a buddy while in college. Not a hotel but thin apartment walls. They kept having loud, obnoxious sex until he yelled, 'don't stop, I need this!' They quit after that."
"A few years ago I did it by getting food poisoning. The walls were thin so when I had to vomit I did it really really loudly. Stopped them immediately."
"Yooo me too. Except mine was the opposite situation -- I may have saved a friend's relationship. He and his girlfriend were having some really serious discussion in his room, like may have been on the verge of breaking up, and my crazy loud food-poisoning shits echoed through the apartment, followed by muffled laughter from my friend's room."
"Blast circus music. No one can be in the bone zone to that kinda soundtrack."
"My college roommate had a sex CD with a bunch of hard techno on it. We had vicious prank wars in our house so one day, I took his sex CD, copied tracks 1-3 with reduced gain and dropped in circus music with really high gain as track 4… queue hilarious sexual exploit."
"This happened while on a road trip with some friends in college. It ended with a dramatic 'OH RICK YES!' We let the silence sit for moment before cheering and yelling 'that a boy Rick!'"
"My freshman year of college a dude on our floor had a very vocal girlfriend, one day they were going at it and we rounded up everyone on the floor. Then we sat around the hall outside his door and cheery and clapped when they finished. They didn't meet in his dorm room anymore."
Tell me more...Listen GIF by The Maury ShowGiphy
"Talk into the wall about their sex, and ask questions about their positions."
People have some interesting ideas when trying to impede other's "lovemaking."
Loop Itmoaning crying GIF by Little MixGiphy
"Repeat every moan and sound they make, but louder."
"Repeat every moan and sound but in very load robot deadpan."
"College, we had not-your-average-dorms, it was an old building that used to house workers for a nearby big-name fancy hotel. Anyway, lots of odd doors everywhere and paper thin walls. There was a very super goth girl on our floor (and this was an art school, so very super goth even for there is saying something). She actively and literally would turn her nose up at anyone trying to say hi, including other women."
"Her door had a sign on it 'Death's door.' So she was quickly nicknamed Death. She has an older boyfriend who comes over, and they have marathon bouts of super loud sex, where she is the one making all the noise and progressively gets louder and deeper as she goes. And thus we coined the term death-sex."
"One day, it's particularly bad. It starts very early in the morning. By the mid afternoon (yes, seriously) it had gotten so loud people from other floors came down to figure out what the hell was going on. My roommate, clearly drained and pissed at the day he's had, comes home, sees a handful of folks from the other floors, sees me, asks 'tell me they'd stopped and have just restarted' and when I tell him amazingly no, they have been going all day."
"He goes up to the door rests his forehead on it, and yells 'YOUR SEX IS JUST.... TOO LOUD FOR ME' They shut up immediately and that was the last time any of us heard death sex. Sometimes you just gotta let em know they're being too loud!"
"Play the song 'baby shark' on full volume. My freaking roommates used to do this in college, it was a terrible inside joke."
"We used to put the Mortal Kombat theme tune on full volume. One time we even managed to get it playing from the guys own computer after he brought a girl back. He just powered through."
"They'll be hearing that on repeat in 9 months time if they're not careful and if they don't like it they can stop what they're doing. Nice."
"Just start laughing hysterically. I was in the shower when I could hear a couple having sex. When I finished, I started to laugh hysterically. The walls were very thin. They heard me and couldn't understand why I was laughing. They did tone it down. The next morning I saw this couple as they were leaving the next morning. We all avoided eye contact. It was all I could do not to burst into laughter. They probably thought I was a strange person."
What have we learned? Know your surroundings when it's sexy time.
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