People Share The Most Ridiculous Things A Man's Done To Protect His Fragile Masculinity

People Share The Most Ridiculous Things A Man's Done To Protect His Fragile Masculinity
[rebelmouse-image 18357114 is_animated_gif=There is a misconception that men must be strong and display a lack of emotion to qualify them as men, when in fact this does the opposite and makes them look desperate to protect their masculinity. These people share the most ridiculous thing a man has done to make himself seem more masculine.
u/dead10ck asks:
What is the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen a man do to defend their masculinity?
When he doesn't do pretty
[rebelmouse-image 18357116 is_animated_gif=My dad will not tolerate being served food that was set to look "pretty".
The sensitivity is real
[rebelmouse-image 18357117 is_animated_gif=A few weeks ago my wife and I visited a friend in another country. We got to know her boyfriend, who was a bit... special. He teased her relentlessly, all the time, and could not take any criticism at all.
Once, we were arriving back at the house (by car, he was driving), when she jokingly told him "I drive way better than you!", referring to the narrow alleyways in their town and how she has no issues parking in tiny spots.
Apparently, he saw that as an offense to his manlihood which he just could not let slide in front of his girlfriend and us, two almost complete strangers in the back seat. He started accelerating like a maniac, going about 80 kilometers an hour in an old European town in the mountains (where you don't see any cars coming and the roads are really narrow), his girlfriend screaming at him to stop. He did this for about two streets before he turned around and drove back.
When he's better than the essentials
[rebelmouse-image 18357118 is_animated_gif=Refuse to drink water. Ever.
No pink pens!
[rebelmouse-image 18357119 is_animated_gif=I used to work at a bakery where each clerk had to bring their own pens to have customers sign receipts with (if they paid with a card). I had a pink pen with a little duck on top and one day a customer refused to sign with it. He got really mad that I didn't have another pen and walked out to his car to find a pen that wasn't "girly".
Some men just can't do certain things
[rebelmouse-image 18357120 is_animated_gif=Stepbrother is the type of guy that refuses to hold his girlfriends purse. Once at a small family dinner she went to the bathroom, after a minute she must have texted him and he goes to check on her, they quietly argued a little and were clearly mad but trying to hide it the whole night after. Turns out she needed a tampon from her purse and he wouldn't even bring the purse too her, she had to text my sister to bring it to her.
Because men are strong...
[rebelmouse-image 18357121 is_animated_gif=It was raining and I offered a guy my umbrella and he refused, saying they were for just for women.
I didn't even know that was a thing.
When he was born with all the experience
[rebelmouse-image 18357122 is_animated_gif=A guy tried to immasculate me in my weightlifting class, the problem being he had never lifted in his life. It should be noted that this was guy was a one-upper. If anyone had a talent or had anything remotely interesting to say, he was there to out-do them.
I was showing him how to do bench press and I was doing 155, which is my max. Not a lot of weight, but again, it's a lot when you've never lifted. He proceeded to attempt the weight I was doing while I was at the water fountain. Unfortunately I couldn't get there before he gave himself a hairline fracture in his sternum.
That's so gay
[rebelmouse-image 18357124 is_animated_gif=Two male classmates and I were on a fieldtrip and got caught in the rain. I had a raincoat, and Guy1 had an umbrella. He offered to share it with the Guy2, who had no rain gear. Guy2 insisted it was gay to share an umbrella with another man. He would only use the umbrella if he carried it, while I walked under it with him and Guy1 borrowed my raincoat. This didn't fly because
A. I wasn't about to give up my raincoat for the paltry protection lent by huddling under an umbrella, and
B. Guy1 would not have fit my raincoat.
So Guy2 got soaked.
The tampon effect
[rebelmouse-image 18357125 is_animated_gif=Back in middle school (when uggs were still in fashion), I had a pair of ffuggs (fake fake uggs) that I kept things in that I didn't want people to see. My phone, tampons,money,etc.
Well one day aunt flo comes along and I attempt to sneakily put a tampon in my boot to go to the bathroom (I was still self-consious at the time about periods). I raise my hand, get up and try to walk to the door, trip and my boot falls off and my tampon rolls to this dude. He pics it up, not realizing what it is. When he realizes he screams like a girl and the people around start giggling as he throws it in the air.
Well he didn't like being laughed at so to redeem himself, he grabs the tampon and starts gnawing on it with his teeth, full on dog attack style. Then he spits it out knto the floor.
I was not happy and people just kinda looked around awkwardly and went back to work.
When he has to put an end to copy cats
[rebelmouse-image 18357126 is_animated_gif=I work with an insane over the top alpha ego f*** boy. We all go out for drinks one night and he literally tells me I should go fight a random stranger in the bar because we have a similar hair cut.
The man must lead!
[rebelmouse-image 18346556 is_animated_gif=I had a guy tell me "I' the man, I walk ahead" while we were in my part of the city where clearly I was the one who knew the way. It ended up with me turning the right way and then him jumping in front of me and walking ahead. It was kinda goofy but I could tell that at the core he was serious.
Teaching the children about men
[rebelmouse-image 18347330 is_animated_gif=Some years back I had a guy block me on FB and stop talking to me at work because I posted a pic of me in make-up that my daughter did and then a second pic of me in a sarong with same make up.
She was 10 and wanted a model to work on. It was hilarious fun and it will be a long lived great memory of me and my little girl having a good laugh.
Apparently he was talking behind my back about me being gay and I was teaching my daughter the wrong things about what 'being a man' meant and what girls should expect. The other blokes are as crazy as me and didn't think much of him.
When straight pride is more important than money
[rebelmouse-image 18347332 is_animated_gif=At a school dance it was cheaper to get in if you were a couple, I can't remember exactly how much it was probly 10 or 20 bucks cheaper. The teacher at the door was cool so even if you came with your group of guy friends he would just pair you off and charge you the cheaper price. These two jock type guys refused to be paired together and demanded they each pay their separate entrance fee.
When your masculinity effects your diet
[rebelmouse-image 18345366 is_animated_gif=My brother won't eat foods that resemble semen. No mayonnaise, no yogurt or sour cream, nothing. He won't even eat the melted frosting on a cinnabon. Masculinity so fragile
The MALE nurse
[rebelmouse-image 18357128 is_animated_gif=I once had a housemate who was a "male nurse". Not a nurse. A "male nurse". If you forgot the "male", you were always corrected.
It's a small price for a man
[rebelmouse-image 18357130 is_animated_gif=My husband has long hair and usually has a few hair ties on his wrist because of it, one of the guys I used to work with also has long hair and couldn't find a suitable replacement for the rubber band he'd lost. My husband upon noticing offered him his last hair tie that just so happened to be pink, and this dude went a damn tirade saying how he wasn't gay and wasn't going to wear it. Then went through the rest of the day in 102° heat, soaked with sweat and his hair just getting all stuck to his face and s***. This same dude also refused to ever put on sunscreen or wear gloves even though we worked outside with tools pretty much every damn day, so he'd constantly be sunburned and peeling and always had these huge painful looking blisters on his hands
The man always pays
[rebelmouse-image 18350545 is_animated_gif=Went on a date with a cop. He paid for dinner and we went for coffee. I quickly paid for the drinks and his attitude turned sour after that. He thought that by me paying, it made him less of a man. It was just a nice gesture. He's still single.
When the man has a game plan
[rebelmouse-image 18357131 is_animated_gif=Once in a nightclub, a ridiculously muscular guy was trying to drunkenly dance with every girl around and rub against them but seeing this didn't work, he tried to draw their attention by starting to do push ups in the middle of the dance floor even if there was broken glass everywhere.
Not the door!
[rebelmouse-image 18357132 is_animated_gif=I've had men basically refuse to walk through doors that I've opened for them.
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
WHERE TO BEGIN?!
The list is endless.
Half the time all it takes to be better is a little effort.
RedditorMidoriSpicewanted to hear about the lack of skills some people really need to acquire when it comes to sexy time. They asked:
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
I love sex. But it can be stressful. I've always found connection to be one of the best lessons.
Communications
"Assuming they already know what their partner wants/likes and doesn't communicate or take any instructions."
Melonqualia
Take it Slow
"No foreplay and not caring if your partner is enjoying it."
orangecrushhhh
"I had an ex who literally never wanted to do any kind of foreplay. He just wanted basically sex of any kind for him. He said oral on women was gross."
UntiltheEndoftheline
Will U?
"Proposing mid intercourse."
Immortal_D_Class
"Honestly? With the partner I have, I'd think it was pretty hot and romantic lmao. I'd check in after the deed to make sure he was serious but our relationship is already very serious so it wouldn't be a big deal."
Weird_Spinach
Talk to Me
"Not talking or making any noises. We don't have to dirty talk the whole time or even at all but you gotta let me know you're enjoying it at least."
idkburneridkidk
"I think there's some balance between having some small talk, silence, and dirty talk while being in bed with someone. Or maybe that's just been my experience. I don't know--I think there's some fun in trying to carry a side conversation while having sex lol."
BranTheBrokens
Experts
"Friction isn’t always a good thing."
KathAlMyPal
Yuck
"To this you can add unclipped fingernails."
Whats4dinner
"And dirty fingernails. Nah, ma'am. I’m betting this is not worth the infection. Thanks."
ADDYISSUES89
‘good at sex’
"I have a feeling most men will say 'lack of enthusiasm' and that most women will say 'being selfish about pleasure.'"
addicted_to_blistex
"I’m a woman and my first thought was lack of enthusiasm, but my own lack of enthusiasm. The only bad sex I’ve had is when I don’t genuinely want to be there. I’ve had sex with guys who weren’t ‘good at sex’ but still enjoyed it because I was really into them."
maybememaybeno
Damn Pat
"They are convinced they know more about what works for you than you know yourself. Just cause your ex-lover Pat liked technique X doesn't mean everyone does."
Less-Market9641
"Have experienced this, it sucks. He wouldn’t listen to what I enjoyed, didn’t want me to say ANYTHING even if it hurt or wasn’t working, and would just say something along the lines of 'every other woman I’ve been with liked it.' I’m thinking, all you’ve had are one-night stands, really, so they probably didn’t say anything."
"I’ve had numerous partners and love sex. Crashed and burned with this one and he really crushed my self-esteem and sexual confidence."
Proper-Beach8368
I KNOW!!
"The biggest thing is always going to be selfishness and the inability/refusal to communicate and listen to your partner. I've seriously had a guy yell 'I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!' when I was trying to tell him how I liked whatever he was doing. He then got even more upset when I said 'did you just f**king yell at me? Alright, off, I'm done.'"
drunky_crowette
Flavors
"Lack of variety. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean crazy kinks or positions from the karma sutra, but more when it's really predicable. I has an ex that had this weird routine of positions, it was exactly the same every single f**king time in exactly the same order."
thegrimrita
Sex. Let's be better at it.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Love is so elusive these days isn't it?
Who knows what anyone is looking for in the relationship department anymore.
It's all too exhausting.
But people we keep trying.
RedditorProblemNice5257wanted to hear why so many people are still on the hunt for that perfect one. They asked:
"Why are you single right now?"
I'm single because I've given up. And I'm good. For now.
Peace
"I put absolutely no effort into meeting someone."
grayestorm
"Same! Also it's extremely difficult when you feel so at peace being by yourself. The fact that I have to find someone whose presence outweighs my level of comfort being alone seems impossible."
cheezkurls
Staying Put
"Hard to meet people when you are a hermit."
EchoOfShadow
"Yeah, I describe myself as a shut-in, lol. I leave my apartment to work, I leave my apartment to buy food, and occasionally I’ll bring out the trash, otherwise I just watch Hulu, play online chess, surf Reddit."
Tru-Queer
"Same. I've spent months trying to find an apartment I can afford without a roommate and finally settled on a small studio apartment for $1100 a month because I'd rather living in a tiny space and be left the hell alone than share a much nicer place even with a good friend."
ablondedude
Problems
"I have too many unsolved issues, i can't in good conscience bring someone else into them."
Zdos123
"Idk your issues but everyone's got some crap. Not sure how unique yours are but everyone's got some crap. It's good to share some of your struggles with other people. Just don't open with it haha."
dr-305
"Issues unresolved or not, (in my case) only makes it worse when you feel like you could open up to them, and they just take those to use it against yourself afterwards."
if_itsMolly
Isolated
"I hardly go out and expose myself to people. I'm uncomfortable with the notion of myself being in a relationship at this point. Also, I'm very dry in terms of personality."
Torturephile
"I spent a year entirely isolated due to covid and now I can't handle physical contact. It makes me really uncomfortable and a hug is enough to make my body shut down. I'm hopeless."
DinoHunter64
That's funny. But it feels oddly true.
Toxic
"Last relationship was so toxic, I've sworn off dating, at least for awhile. I haven't had this much free time in ages. It's nice."
"Edit: Hey, it's really great hearing from so many people with similar experiences. Like many of you, I've been taking it in stride and focusing on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. It's done wonders for my health and I feel a whole lot better. I wish y'all the very best. Stay excellent, my friends."
muchkoku
Alone Forever
"I'm 35yr old single father to a 5yr old and I work nights. It's hard to find free time to meet someone, especially in my area. If I do have free time to myself, I like staying home and ordering a pizza while drinking some beers and playing video games. I pretty much faced the fact that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life."
No_Leader_2711
taking space
"I was in an 8 year relationship (married for two) to my high school sweetheart. Exactly this same time last year, we got divorced because I found out he was cheating on me with my best friend. The best friend I had known LONGER than him and was friends with since fourth grade."
"She was living with us to try to get back on her feet. Yeah lol. So I lost my best friend and the man I had been with for 8 years within the same night. So I moved to another state, got an apartment by myself, and am now single and divorced all by 26. Not really looking unless the right person comes along."
"It’s pretty happy and peaceful now that they’re both out of my life though honestly. You realize people’s toxicity and flaws the most once you get space away from them."
yodacat24
Bad Loop
"Because my relationships end before they even begin."
_uberwench_
"This is my story right here."
xxshole
Alright. Now that we've laid out all the excuses, let's get to matching with some people.
There is no bigger mystery than what happens to us after we die.
But even those who don't practice an organized religion tend to believe that there is a Heaven, a happy joyful place where our souls will remain for eternity.
No two people share the same idea of what heaven would be like, but everyone who believes in it probably has an idea of the first thing they'd do after entering the pearly gates.
Redditor WeDidItGuyz was curious to hear what would be top on everyone's list upon entering the afterlife, leading them to ask:
"If heaven exists, what’s the first thing you’d do?"
Overcome with joy
"In all reality?"
"Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my humanity has now been lifted."
"If Heaven exists, like 50% of the awesomeness is just the very fact that it exists."
A re-match long in the making
"Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race."
"He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag."
"When I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again."
"We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago."
"I wanna race him both in our prime."- Abethegreat1
Reunite with loved ones
"Find my husband, give him a huge hug and never let go again."
"Live our forever together."
"I f*cking love him and miss him so much."- jessdfrench
"Embrace my sweet wife and tell her how proud I am of the kids."- RifleShower
"Try to find my brother."
"Man, I miss him."
"He died in 2020 at age 34."- grummlinds1
Achieve the "firsts" we never got to do
"Find my son and have a beer with him."
"Something we never got to do in real life."- tanukis_parachute
Hone new skills
"Try to play Smoke on the water on my harp."- Ashtar-the-Squid
Live on without pain
"Enjoy my healthy back without pain."- Knackbein_
Who knows what's in store for us after our lives come to an end.
But living with the idea that something wonderful awaits when our time has come is all people need to continue to live their lives to the fullest, and treat others with the respect and kindness they deserve.
"Fun facts" generally refers to a tidbit of information about a specific topic which the general public might not have otherwise known about.
But the first word in that term can be misleading.
Indeed, some "fun facts" reveal information that isn't remotely "fun" in the slightes.
Redditor Alternative_kachocho was curious to hear some "fun facts" which were anything but fun, leading them to ask:
What's a 'fun fact' that isn’t fun at all?"
Ironically, something you likely don't think about...
"Your brain blocks you from feeling your organs moving around inside you."- Aydengeist06
Try watching Finding Nemonow...
"Only one in a thousand sea turtles born actually make it to adulthood."- Sebs_123
Shocking new light on an age old classic
"In the books, Stuart Little was never explicitly called a mouse."
"He's pretty much described as a deformed mouse-esque person born form human parents."- Red_Beard47
Nature running it's course...
"There's a bird that feeds its younger offspring to the eldest."- Teacup_Cult
I have no allergies... yet
"Speaking from personal experience here, but your body can randomly decide to become allergic to damn near everything edible at any time."
"Not very fun."- smallemochick
Those poor, innocent creatures.
"In some regions of Australia, 90 percent of koalas have chlamydia, which poses a threat to the species' extinction unless a vaccine is created or widespread koala culling takes place."- tiffanyjcruse
They'd still be here if they weren't so delicious...
"The giant tortoise was so delicious, it caused not only itself to be hunted to extinction, but also the dodo."
"Giant tortoise meat was supposedly better tasting than chicken."
"It's fat tasted better spread on bread than butter."
"Also, it was the perfect food for sailors at the time, as their bladders stored 1 litre of purified water, and they could survive without food in hibernation for almost a whole year in the hull of a ship."
"Not to mention, because they evolved without humans, they were easy to hunt."
"You could tie one to your back, and roll another to the ship and they would just let you."
"It was so delicious, they went unrecorded for a long time because expeditions to bring living samples of wildlife to Europe kept eating them on the way."
"Conversely, the dodo, while as easily captured by sailors, tasted awful."
"It was completely unpalatable."
"HOWEVER, one day, someone discovered if you cooked dodo meat in the more delicious tortoise fat, it tasted just like chicken."
"So now, sailors were hunting a few tortoises at a time for their fat and water, storing them, and then hunting dodos on the daily."
"Overhunting, plus the introduction of rats to the environment (because sailors) which would eat eggs, led go the population to decline at a rate they could not breed to keep up, leading to both animals going extinct."- Kyhan
Don't forget the nose plugs
"Antarctica smells like penguin poop."
"Antarctica is a desert, it is too cold for bacteria to live."
"Nothing there to clean up penguin droppings."
"If you are close enough to see penguins, you will also smell them."- gummby8
Makes those long lines so worth it...
"The TSA missed 96% of contraband during an inspection in 2015."- omegasix321
Truly tragic.
"The person who had the first facial transplant had her face chewed up by her Labrador dog while asleep due to sleeping pill overdose." - User Deleted
It's hard not to read some of these "fun facts" and wonder if there should be an alternative term for the facts which aren't fun.
Alternative facts?
Oh yeah, probably not....