I swear, people love to talk about other people. And the worst part about it is that when there's nothing to talk about, they straight up make stuff up. I would know--I once had people spread a rumor that I lied about having a college degree (which I do), among other weird, untrue stuff.
Typically, rumors come with a preconceived narrative about a person, whether or not that narrative is true. Here are some of the more ridiculous rumors jealous and unhappy people have come up with, courtesy of Reddit.
U/darky761 asked: What is the most ridiculous rumor you have heard about yourself?
The most hilarious rumors usually end up backfiring.
Technically the truth.
My parents have been happily married for 25 years, and when I was little, my mum was a law student at the same school where my dad was teaching (my parents are the same age, she just went to law school later). Someone saw them leaving together and a rumour started going around that she was having an affair with a prof.
So that's the story of how a whole bunch of law students got mad at my mother for sleeping with her husband.
RIP these guys.
mitsubishi business time GIF
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That I was dead. About 6 months ago someone from high school that I wasn't even friends with reached out to me and said they were told I died years ago and couldn't believe they were talking to me. I felt very accomplished.
Same here but for a different reasons. I ended up switching to homeschool halfway through my senior year because of medical issues in my family. I don't use social media and I don't even really use my cell phone for anything other than work and emergencies. So fast forward like 5 years after high school and on multiple occasions, I've seen old classmates who told me they thought I was dead. I always tell em I am to go back to thinking that.
She tried.
In high school a girl who didn't like me tried to "save" other girls from dating me by telling them I had given her an STD. I never even dated her, nor did we have sex. It backfired on her pretty hard because it was widely known she hated me so when she started it her friends were like "Wait but you slept with him tho? lol"
That’s unfortunate.
That I was a murderer because someone with the same name and age as me made the papers after killing someone.
That's mad, that would actually be pretty hilarious tho if you told everyone you escaped from jail.
Sometimes rumors come with some really serious repercussions.
Poor seals.
massage bliss GIF
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Way back when I was in my early 20's I went to Alaska to work on a fishing boat. My best friend told my other friends that I went to Alaska to club baby seals. Sadly, a few of my more gullible friends believed him. It was pretty funny.
I should add that he told me that he was going to tell people that and I was ok with it.
Messed up.
My mother and her husband have what I can only describe as "mental Munchausen" or "psychiatric munchhausen." I am no longer in contact with them, but last I heard, I am a junkie sex worker who is about to be homeless. Apparently, I lie to everyone. When my grandpa drives me to my therapy sessions, I secretly go somewhere else and do drugs.
I cut off contact with my parents last year. I'm 28 now. I sent them a 26 page letter outlining things they said and did from when I was 12 until I was 25.
I developed alopecia in 7th grade and Lyme disease in 9th grade. They told people I was faking it both times. I got my driver's license when I was 16. Until I was 21 or 22, they said I never learned how to drive. I got accused of smoking tobacco and marijuana. Never did. I got accused of binge drinking, even drinking at work. Never did. My mom would tell our Catholic friends we were Catholic, our Protestant friends we were Protestant, and our atheist friends we were atheist in order to fit in. I worked five days a week starting at age 19. Until I was 24, she was still saying I was spending all day watching TV on her sofa and that she couldn't get me to look for jobs. I came out as gay at age 23. My parents still would tell people that I would meet the right woman someday. I lent my dad about $5,000 between 2015 and 2018 because he couldn't pay his bills. And then he would go around bragging about how successful he is.
I'm happy to be done with them. I've become very close to my aunts, uncles, and extended family who got tired of my parents' bullshit years ago.
Other times, rumors are just funny because they make zero sense.
I’m sorry, WHAT?
Dog Puppy GIF by TikTok
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When I was in high school, this rumor was going around that I stole pets from the popular people, dress them up like the popular people and hide them in my shed. Like, can you believe it? As if someone would actually do something crazy like that! Totally ridiculous.
D&D is a gateway drug.
That I was a massive stoner. A friend of mine's mother believed that when my friend stayed over, we were getting high all the time and it was because I was such a bad influence. The evidence was clear, he'd come home, stinking of smoke and very tired/out of it. The reality is that we were playing D&D until 3am with some friends who smoked... tobacco.
That rumor is kinda fun.
It was rumored that I had opened a Rolls-Royce dealership.
The rumor began circulating because I was seen driving a friend's 1957 Rolls-Royce "Silver Cloud." (He collects antique cars and thought I'd enjoy the experience of driving a Rolls.)
As someone who has had countless rumors spread about them, I can tell you firsthand that they are more confusing than anyone else. Like, I had a rumor spread about me that I purposely started a fire in my house because I wanted my husband to come home from game night. Like, what?
A lot of times, people spread rumors to feel better about themselves. My best advice is to just take it as flattery--they're obsessed with you and can't stop thinking about you, and that doesn't make them a hater. That makes them a fan
Ticket scalpers. How do you the audacity to say that's a job?
Actual burglars have more empathy.
Disrespectful
Out Of Office Summer GIF by Merge MansionGiphy"There are debt collectors who call relatives of the deceased to pay off their debts when they are not legally obligated to."
Top_Gun_2021
Shady. Shady.
"Australian Real Estate Agents. Laws don't seem to apply to them. Just as dodgy in sales and rentals alike. Never seen anything like it overseas."
snave_
"I'm in the US, it can vary state by state but my state is pretty strict on realtor laws. Some states require attorney review and there are definitely penalties for being reported for shady sh*t. It does require consumer reporting though."
ilostmytaco
Etransfer
"Where I live, tax info was leaked and now scammers are targeting low income individuals/families (people earning under 30,000 per year) with etransfer scams. I got one the other day that was an etransfer warning that 240$ 'a family member sent me' was about to expire."
SnowyInuk
"That’s disgusting. The scammers know what they’re doing, they know the harm they cause people and yet they don’t care."
surelysandwitch
Should be illegal...
"MLM managers. Not the low level idiots that get suckered into it, they suck too for trying to bring new people into that sh*tshow, but the people who create them know exactly what they are doing and are pretty much the only ones who profit off of it. Should be illegal. Pyramid schemes are illegal. None of them ever get the just desserts except occasionally by vigilantes I assume."
Wereno
I hate debt collectors. Yeah, you calling me one hundred times a week is going to miraculously make money appear.
Animals
Giphy"Paparazzi."
VictorBlimpmuscle
"I met Jack Gleeson (King Joffrey from Game of Thrones) at a bus stop in Dublin. Really nice guy but he said he quit acting due to people being nasty online and constant hounding from paparrazi. He's happier now but it sucks that he was pushed away from a career he was quite good at."
goobi94
Scumbags
"The pastors at mega churches whom ask their followers for money for private jets. Absolute scum to abuse others faith for your own greed."
ichancho
"Brian Tamaki is a greedy freaking pig, he takes advantage of so many people who are already struggling. Every time he’s in the local news (which btw is often) I get more and more pissed off at him and his wife. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Tamaki "
surelysandwitch
it’s a thing???
“'Dating Expert.' Sadly it’s a thing. It’s basically a self appointed title that requires no training or qualifications. What’s worse, is that I have a female friend who uses one. It’s very much a blind leading the blind situation."
Mean_Manufacturer_61
"Most of the self proclaimed “dating coaches” I know are women in their late 30s or early 40s who have never been married or had a longer relationship."
ipozgaj
EVIL
"Poachers. Especially big game poachers who purposefully hunt nearly extinct animals from species they know they are on the brink."
"I know there are poachers that come from rural villages who are trying to just put food on the table, which has my sympathy but poachers who come from money and hunt down animals minding their business in most shelters or restricted areas just to put a head on their wall as a trophy are absolutely heinous."
GetterdoneObiwan
I See It All
miss cleo fraud GIFGiphy"Psychic Mediums. Specifically those who prey on the grieving."
JamesDeadite
"I've always found it interesting how many magicians go after people like this. I think it's because they know what it takes to trick people for the art. The slight of hand and mentalism. And they abhor people who use these tactics for such sh*tty purposes."
34HoldOn
I want so bad to believe in psychics and mediums. What say we on that topic?
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For some odd reason I love the things burning. Anything, food, pots, pans. You name it. Weird.
Blow
fire burning GIFGiphy"Matches/candles on a birthday cake. I remember lighting matches as a kid purely to blow them out and inhale that sweet match-y smell."
semispooked
"guilty good"
"I work at a Chemical plant. We make a highly acidic product that is dark blue, viscus, highly corrosive, and smells exactly like Fruit Loops. It is incredibly disturbing."
Turin082
"Organic chemistry has many 'guilty good' smells. Thiophosgene (sulfur derivative of a chemical weapon used extensively in WW1) apparently smells like meat. Phosgene is used to make polycarbonate, thiophosgene is used to make some sulfur-containing molecules which eventually end up in therapeutic drugs."
HammerTh_1701
I can't huff it...
"Paint, specifically house paint. I love the smell. But anytime I hear that anyone is painting a room or their house, I volunteer. I just love sitting on the floor in a room that's been freshly painted, closing my eyes and just inhaling that slightly chemically, slightly creamy aroma."
Neowza
A Hint of French...
"A fish and chips shop burnt down as couple blocks from work a few years ago. The whole neighborhood smelled amazing for days. Just the slight hint of French fries. Nothing overpowering. It was so awesome. Until I found out someone was trapped in the fire and died."
stevey_frac
Drag
Drag Racing Vegas GIF by Don Schumacher RacingGiphy"Race fuel. Instantly puts me in a good mood as it reminds me of going to the drag races with my dad when I was young."
garfnodie
Fuel and matches get me too. And they sort of go together. Interesting.
Just like the Movie...
Johnny Depp Drinking GIFGiphy"The water from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Mmm, bromine."
Stalkerslovemy
"This is one of my favorite scents of all time, and Disney is very aware that people enjoy it. Evidently it’s a lot harder to recreate than just adding bromine to water."
cash4panties
"black widow".
"There's a chicken wing restaurant near my house that has a challenge sauce called "black widow." The owner claims it to be around 500,000 scovilles. A few years back some buddies and I decided to try them, the sauce was a dark molasses color and smelled almost like a BBQ sauce, no hint of the danger that lurked at all. We each grabbed one wing and it went terribly. I don't know how something so spicy could smell so innocent."
Final-Chapter
Endless Weekend
"Hotel/rented rooms whenever you go on vacation. There's this particular smell that just says 'you are on vacation,' especially on a beach/swimming trips/out-of-the-town vacays."
Yummy_Llama
"Bath and Body Works has a plug-in scent called Endless Weekend that replicates that scent (to my humble nose)."
Exxcentrica
"oh no..."
"Someone you are attracted to's body odors. Anyone else who is slightly unhygienic smells repulsive."
Mini_gunslinger
"I remember back in high school a girl leaned over, sniffed me, told me that I smelled really good, and asked me what cologne I was wearing. I asked if she was joking, and she's like, no, you smell really good. When I told her I had just gotten done with gym class, she gets a small 'oh no...' look on her face and turns away. I think we both had a revelation that day."
user deleted
That Smell
Smell It Season 6 GIF by This Is UsGiphy"The smell inflatable things give off. I have no idea how to describe it, but it’s… nostalgic? to me."
crestfxllen
I do love the smell of plastics and inflatables. Ahh....
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It's hard to imagine how to go on without the lost object–whatever it may be–but over time, it becomes a distant memory and we move on.
That is until we magically find ourselves presented with this opportunity proposed by Redditor mikehotel288, who asked:
"You find yourself in a room with everything you’ve ever lost in your life. What do you look for first?"
There are necessities people cannot do without.
No More Dry Lips Ever Again
"Gonna be a lot of chapstick in that room."
– camefromxbox
There are things that bring us comfort and are irreplaceable.
Safety Blanket
"My baby blanket. It became tattered over the years—to the point where I couldn’t reasonably wash it anymore—so I had to throw it away a little while back."
"I have heavily regretted that decision. I was really attached to it (hence it being in tatters), but I really wish that I kept what was left of it instead of throwing it away. Just knowing that I’d still have it would be a huge comfort to me."
– Uearie
Sentimental Heirloom
"The pendant my dad had made for me with my grandmother’s engagement diamond. It was 2 carats. It disappeared from a Las Vegas hotel room 20 years ago. It was hidden deep in a suitcase where it would not have been easy to find. It was just GONE. Cops didn’t do anything. Didn’t even come to take my statement. Cleaning lady said she thought she saw an elderly man enter my room. The guy I was with was not sympathetic in the least. Entire situation was f**ked. I’m still so upset about it."
– MaritimeDisaster
Lone Shark
"My plastic shark toy I lost when I was 10. Ain't no f'king way it just VANISHED."
– Guilty_As_Charged__
Not everything lost is tangible.
Tick Tock
"The time I wasted."
– shinyfennec
It Holds Value
"My private key with 6 BTC in it."
– Significant_Mirror19
"I didn't lose one, but I'll check my room for yours just in case."
– Smodphan
Finding Purpose
"The reason I walked into the room."
– Lloyd_lyle
Lost Opportunity
"That one girl i spoke to on omegle lol"
– h-amishh
If only we get to reunite with those we've lost.
The Loved Family Member
"My grandpa."
– Splatty_boi_420
Grieving Parent
"My daughter. She’ll be in my brother’s arms. So I’ll find both things I care to look for."
– SeeTheFence
Missing Mom
"My mom. She died of cancer in 2017. She never got to meet my daughter. I miss the hell out of her and wish she was still part of my family’s life."
– X-Arkturis-X
The Animals That Come Into Our Lives
"My pets that have passed: especially my horse, Blue. It's been 4 years, but it feels like just yesterday."
– Baciandrio
While many of these scenarios are unlikely, the thread gave people an opportunity to reflect on the things that made a strong impression on their lives.
Sometimes, the memories of the things we've lost–whether they are random objects or sources of love–is all we have.
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