I swear, people love to talk about other people. And the worst part about it is that when there's nothing to talk about, they straight up make stuff up. I would know--I once had people spread a rumor that I lied about having a college degree (which I do), among other weird, untrue stuff.
Typically, rumors come with a preconceived narrative about a person, whether or not that narrative is true. Here are some of the more ridiculous rumors jealous and unhappy people have come up with, courtesy of Reddit.
U/darky761 asked: What is the most ridiculous rumor you have heard about yourself?
The most hilarious rumors usually end up backfiring.
Technically the truth.
My parents have been happily married for 25 years, and when I was little, my mum was a law student at the same school where my dad was teaching (my parents are the same age, she just went to law school later). Someone saw them leaving together and a rumour started going around that she was having an affair with a prof.
So that's the story of how a whole bunch of law students got mad at my mother for sleeping with her husband.
RIP these guys.
mitsubishi business time GIF
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That I was dead. About 6 months ago someone from high school that I wasn't even friends with reached out to me and said they were told I died years ago and couldn't believe they were talking to me. I felt very accomplished.
Same here but for a different reasons. I ended up switching to homeschool halfway through my senior year because of medical issues in my family. I don't use social media and I don't even really use my cell phone for anything other than work and emergencies. So fast forward like 5 years after high school and on multiple occasions, I've seen old classmates who told me they thought I was dead. I always tell em I am to go back to thinking that.
She tried.
In high school a girl who didn't like me tried to "save" other girls from dating me by telling them I had given her an STD. I never even dated her, nor did we have sex. It backfired on her pretty hard because it was widely known she hated me so when she started it her friends were like "Wait but you slept with him tho? lol"
That’s unfortunate.
That I was a murderer because someone with the same name and age as me made the papers after killing someone.
That's mad, that would actually be pretty hilarious tho if you told everyone you escaped from jail.
Sometimes rumors come with some really serious repercussions.
Poor seals.
massage bliss GIF
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Way back when I was in my early 20's I went to Alaska to work on a fishing boat. My best friend told my other friends that I went to Alaska to club baby seals. Sadly, a few of my more gullible friends believed him. It was pretty funny.
I should add that he told me that he was going to tell people that and I was ok with it.
Messed up.
My mother and her husband have what I can only describe as "mental Munchausen" or "psychiatric munchhausen." I am no longer in contact with them, but last I heard, I am a junkie sex worker who is about to be homeless. Apparently, I lie to everyone. When my grandpa drives me to my therapy sessions, I secretly go somewhere else and do drugs.
I cut off contact with my parents last year. I'm 28 now. I sent them a 26 page letter outlining things they said and did from when I was 12 until I was 25.
I developed alopecia in 7th grade and Lyme disease in 9th grade. They told people I was faking it both times. I got my driver's license when I was 16. Until I was 21 or 22, they said I never learned how to drive. I got accused of smoking tobacco and marijuana. Never did. I got accused of binge drinking, even drinking at work. Never did. My mom would tell our Catholic friends we were Catholic, our Protestant friends we were Protestant, and our atheist friends we were atheist in order to fit in. I worked five days a week starting at age 19. Until I was 24, she was still saying I was spending all day watching TV on her sofa and that she couldn't get me to look for jobs. I came out as gay at age 23. My parents still would tell people that I would meet the right woman someday. I lent my dad about $5,000 between 2015 and 2018 because he couldn't pay his bills. And then he would go around bragging about how successful he is.
I'm happy to be done with them. I've become very close to my aunts, uncles, and extended family who got tired of my parents' bullshit years ago.
Other times, rumors are just funny because they make zero sense.
I’m sorry, WHAT?
Dog Puppy GIF by TikTok
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When I was in high school, this rumor was going around that I stole pets from the popular people, dress them up like the popular people and hide them in my shed. Like, can you believe it? As if someone would actually do something crazy like that! Totally ridiculous.
D&D is a gateway drug.
That I was a massive stoner. A friend of mine's mother believed that when my friend stayed over, we were getting high all the time and it was because I was such a bad influence. The evidence was clear, he'd come home, stinking of smoke and very tired/out of it. The reality is that we were playing D&D until 3am with some friends who smoked... tobacco.
That rumor is kinda fun.
It was rumored that I had opened a Rolls-Royce dealership.
The rumor began circulating because I was seen driving a friend's 1957 Rolls-Royce "Silver Cloud." (He collects antique cars and thought I'd enjoy the experience of driving a Rolls.)
As someone who has had countless rumors spread about them, I can tell you firsthand that they are more confusing than anyone else. Like, I had a rumor spread about me that I purposely started a fire in my house because I wanted my husband to come home from game night. Like, what?
A lot of times, people spread rumors to feel better about themselves. My best advice is to just take it as flattery--they're obsessed with you and can't stop thinking about you, and that doesn't make them a hater. That makes them a fan
I once had a guy ask me if I was willing to follow him into the woods, depending on the price of the meal.
Yeah. No steak is worth that.
Plans After...
Wait What Wtf GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Thanks for the ride but I have a date with someone else, I figured you wouldn't drive me if you knew I was going on a date with someone else and I really needed a ride."
"Online dating, talked to her for a while, finally got the courage to ask her out and then she said that as we got there."
iareyours
Mirror Image
“'You look just like my wife!'”
catalinachild
"I did have a guy tell me I reminded him of his son. I don’t believe English has a word to adequately describe my feelings at that time."
UnicornMagicRainbow
"That would definitely do it."
chaotica78
Third Wheel
"'Hope you don't mind if my mother joins us.'"
ofsquire
"Actually had a girl do this on a first date because she had anxiety issues. Honestly wasn’t bad except that 90% of the time she was silent and her mom talked over her."
"I didn’t mind that much and wouldn’t have minded trying again when she was more comfortable except that she was let go at the company we worked at and she deleted her social media profiles and she never responded on her number. Ah well."
Seightx
Liar
Lying Simon Rex GIF by Simon Rex / Dirt NastyGiphy"'Hey bro aren't you gay? I made out with you last night.'"
"Random dude I've never seen before in front of my (f) date."
JHXC16
Was he lying though?
Filter Issues
"'You looked better on Tinder.'"
waqasnaseem07
"Isn’t it basic knowledge that everybody looks slightly worse than the worst picture you can find?"
no_user_ID_found
The Past
"'My ex used to do that too.'"
xxIvyOF
"Yep. I’ve definitely had two otherwise-decent-guy date-situations sour because the ex-comparisons just would not stop flowing. No woman wants to be seen as interchangeable—I’m not here to perfectly fill that ex-sized hole in your life. Focusing on the present moment and a future we could build together is a courtesy we need to grant each other in earliest dates of dating."
LarkScarlett
Powerless
"'I'm an alpha, you cant handle my top energy.'"
Midnightgay28
"I actually left a dude in the middle of dinner, in part, for saying this. I ordered an Uber under the table while pretending to listen to him. Went to the bathroom, and never came back. That was when I was young. Now I’d just say, 'How about we enjoy this meal in silence, before we head our separate ways.'”
UnicornMagicRainbow
Mommy...
"'Mother says I should be back by 9.'"
"Saying 'mother says' just feels weird."
bunnyrut
"That gives me Norman Bates vibes."
Werewolf_lover20
"'Mother says alligators are aggressive because they have an overabundance of teeth, but lack a toothbrush.'"
sodaextraiceplease
Obvs...
just kidding jk GIFGiphy"'If you were going to be murdered, what method would you prefer. Purely hypothetical. Obvs.'"
Specific_Tap7296
If it looks anything like a Dateline NBC episode... RUN!
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Or so you would think.
Do people still knit to pass the time? Are people actively collecting stamps?
It depends on who's asking.
Curious to hear about hobby trends, Redditor gizehgizeh asked:
"What are once popular hobbies that are slowly dying these days?"
Before we've become conditioned to living on our phones, these activities used to keep people occupied.
Before Texting, There Was This
"Letter writing."
– littlekingMT
Literal And Tangible Joy
"Well the internet killed pen pals for sure. I do remember I had a Japanese girl for a penpal maybe back in 2007 or so. I honestly don't remember how it started, pretty sure some website, but that was a fun experience. But now I can just straight up talk to foreign people real time, lol. But yea getting a physical letter that someone took the time to write and mail still is hard to beat feelings wise."
– skyburnsred
Model Trains
"When I was growing up, every town had a model train store in it. Now I have one in region and everything else has to be bought online."
– Hairy_Effective1172
Pretty Rocks
"Don’t see anyone playing marbles anymore, I had an awesome collection in school."
– sheeple85
"I had some marbles as a kid in the 90s. My grandma got them for me and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them. I always imagined them as a thing kids in the 40s played with."
– Ryoukugan
People Were Moving Canvases
"Paintball has been dying a slow death since 2006. Sad, really."
– hobo_recycler
Before the general population began hating clutter, collecting was once a "thing."
Precious Coins
"Coin collecting... I'm a silver/gold nut and I'm always hunting for precious metal coins. whenever I go into a shop they get all excited because 'no one under 70 collects coins anymore.'"
– ThatFishySmell99
Post It
"Stamp collecting."
– spooky_scully_mulder
"Collecting in general, really. Of course there are still prominent collectors but it's slipped more into enthusiast and niche territory than being a popular hobby that you might expect anyone to have."
– iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
What A Gem
"Rockhounding was immensely popular back in the 1950's and 1960's. Personally, I think it's a fascinating and fulfilling hobby, but when I go to a meeting at a rock and gem club, I'm usually the youngest one in the room by several decades."
– filthy_lucre
People once enjoyed making things.
Admiring The View
"Stained glass. I learned how to make it from my old man, and my junior high art class teacher also taught it. Very few artisans are still around."
– brobeanzhitler
Metal Vocation
"Black smithing."
– kenworth117
"I bought a forge to try. It’s insanely hard work, and crazy expensive. I still haven’t finished a piece."
– DSentvalue
Scrapbooking
"Yeah. I'm watching the arts and crafts stores around me completely uninstalling their racks for specialty paper. Now the only thing they have is mega packs of repeating colors/images. To boot all the inclusions like papercraft/die-cut things, washi tape, scissors, stickers, etc have gotten so expensive I would rather go buy $5 bags at value village to get an assortment of things versus buying anything new. I really, really miss yard sales for the same reasons."
– Phantasmai
I envy people who have jobs that are basically their hobbies.
Not everyone gets paid doing what they actually enjoy and have a profound level of passion for.
If they do, kudos to them.
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While the process could take time, some people make our jobs much easier after spotting instant red flags.
Curious to hear about our general radar of people, Redditor xxFluffie asked:
"What is something that makes you immediately dislike someone?"
Some people just think they are absolutely hilarious and never realize they're the only ones laughing.
Next In Line
"They laugh about having screwed someone else over. If you think you're not next, well, you'll learn."
– whiznat
Unfunny
"when you mention you don't like a thing and they immediately do that thing 'as a joke.'"
– wayfinder
Playing Devil's Advocate
"Kneejerk contrarians. People who, no matter what you say you like or believe, just have to dismiss it and say they like or think the opposite."
– BubbhaJebus
People who put others down get slammed here.
Bad Parents
"When they treat their kids sh**ty in public. I don't mean handling tantrums, setting a rule, having to hurry to the train etc. I mean perfectly normal-behaved kids getting in trouble for trailing along peacefully, looking at things, asking questions etc."
"If you don't like tiny humans who learn the world, why have them??"
– raxeira-etterath
Public Humiliation
"Treating people sh**ty in public for laughs. Like being rude to service workers because they think it’s funny. Big red flag."
– Ok_Personality_1080
Simply Uncalled For
"Someone who is a d*ck to other people or animals for no reason."
– xebt1000
Those with ulterior motives rubs people the wrong way.
The Scheme
"If they try to get me to join their MLM scheme."
– spazmcgee1
Hard Sell
"A guy I used to be friends with in high school reached out a couple of years after graduating about a business opportunity he wanted my opinion on because 'you've always been smart', then he set up a Skype call and brought some other dude into the call and they started trying to sell me on what was clearly an MLM scheme. The guy went from friend to 'I'm never talking to you again' in a matter of 10 minutes."
– Mental-Afternoon-164
A Timeline
"Good gawd, this! I've had more than one exposure to this abject bullsh**tery..."
- Back in the late 80's/early 90's I was invited to a meeting of literally the OG "Pyramid" where you're recruited to pay in, and then you go out and recruit others to pay in, and the last in line got f'kall.
- In 1995 I had a coworker try to reel me into Amway, which was a hard no.
- In 2000 it was Pampered Chef, though to be fair they did have useful products.
- In 2009 a coworker tried to get me into some stupid video calling service that was obviously stupid from the description. He even got offended when I called bullsh*t.
– Mystical_Cat
Too much ego is a no-go.
I Can Do Better
"Being a b*tch just to stroke their own ego."
"We get it, you can lift 5lbs more than the 12 year old, you don't have to rub it in their face just because you're slightly better"
– Livia_Pivia
Can't Top This
"Oh, you did <story that's been told>? That's nothing! I did <implausible story>.
"I get the whole empathy through relating common experience, and I'm someone who does that (which drives some people crazy on its own), but there's a big different by empathising through common experience, and one-upmanship."
– Tisarwat
Lacking Conversational Etiquette
"Starting to talk over me when I was already talking."
"Stop it you rude, arrogant jerk."
– R33Gtst
If one or more of these traits sound familiar to you, you're not alone.
We don't have time for braggadocios, pyramid-schemers, and conversation interrupters.
And that's just for starters.
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Pleading to deaf ears...
"My dad told me he had hearing loss and couldn't hear me if I whined because my pitch would get too high."
"Would completely ignore me until I asked him questions in a normal voice."
"Trusted him implicitly until I was 12 and he yelled at my younger brother for whining."- Tyrion_Stark.
Get it while you can.
"That they took everything off the shelves when the supermarket closed."- fgyfddg.
venezuela empty shelves GIF by euronewsGiphySilly superstitions.
"My grandfather used to tell me that if I played with the fire, I'd pee the bed."
"I believed him for a while, until I got older."
"I think he was just trying to protect me from the fire."- teddypa1981.
"Rain, rain go away..."
"That if it was raining where I was, it was raining everywhere in the world."- morningshartz.
Age is just a number.
"My parents used to seem really old to me, so much so I believed they grew up like cave people as children, wearing giant leaves for clothes and what not."- Laleena_.
Hammer Floor GIF by VPROGiphySo that's how they're made!
"That smokestacks from the power plant created clouds."- Scaniarix.
An instant cure.
"The sun gives you sunburns, therefore, moonlight should heal them."- velocipeter.
Better safe than sorry.
"Don't drink and drive meant all drinks."
"My dad was super confused when I told him he wasn't allowed to have any soda until we got home."- hulagirlslovetoparty.
Don't believe everything you see on TV.
"There was an episode of Mickey Mouse where Mickey couldn’t reach something at first, so he tried again and somehow his arm was long enough to reach it."
"As a small kid I believed that if I couldn’t reach something, I should just try reaching for it again and my arm would then somehow be long enough to reach it."- That-Dutch-Person.
love him one piece GIFGiphyThe miracle of childbirth.
"That babies are pooped out."
"When I was like 7 I was listening to my aunt as she explained that childbirth was pretty intense and painful for her, and I was all solemnly like, 'yeah, sometimes just my poops are painful, I don’t think I could get a baby out' and she went 'um, WHAT?' and her reaction made me realize real quick that I had f*cked up somewhere and I tried to change the subject while my mind was just reeling lol."- thesoundingfurrows.
Oh to be a child again.
And to believe literally everything you're told.
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