"People who were in a real home invasion situation, what was it like and what did you do?"
He Didn't Know Who He Was Dealing With...
Dude came knocking on the front door and my mom and I ignored it."
"I was about 10 and my mom didn’t want to answer the door to a stranger."
"He knocked a while then went around the back and hopped the gate to try the back door."
"My mom got her gun and opened the back door with it visible, right before he tried to smash the glass."
"He took off running and was arrested on B&E charges the next day after he broke into someone else’s apartment and couldn’t run."- SilverSunrises
It's Always Lunch Money That Gets Stolen First...
"Was in 7th grade home alone after a half day when suddenly there was very hard knocking on my back door."
"I knew immediately something was off because we never have visitors and my father did not knock like that, and froze up in my room."
"I peak out of my room (right in front of back door) and suddenly it's quiet so I go back to my room."
"AS SOON as I close my door I hear glass shatter."
"Turned off my computer and TV and dove under my bed."
"For the next 40 minutes I hear him thrashing around my living room and parents room, then hear them leave."
"During this I'm on call with the cops who think I'm PRANK CALLING THEM and take 70 minutes to finally come over."
"The station is 3 streets away from my house."
"They come and investigate only to find out it was our next door neighbor that broke in and was actually looking for drug money, as it turns out the previous person to live here did at-home haircuts and sold weed on the side."
"The neighbor was arrested and his family moved out a week later."
"THE ONLY THING THIS GUY TOOK WAS MY LUNCH MONEY I LEFT ON A COUNTER OUTSIDE FOR THE NEXT DAY."- level 1Ogletreb
whatever you say bully GIFGiphyThey Actually Apoligized...
"Four guys knocked on my buddies door at 11pm."
"He lived with a bunch of other guys so this wasn’t anything new."
"They burst in and held a gun to his neck and demanded the drugs."
"He stammered that there weren’t any drugs but they could take what they wanted."
"One guy held him there with the gun as the others searched the house."
"Since they didn’t find anything they realized they had the wrong house and left."
"As they were leaving the last guy said ‘sorry, this wasn’t my idea'."- discostud1515
A Gun Needs No Explanation
"My in-laws were home when a young guy broke into their house."
"They don’t speak English very well so my FIL, in the clearest English he could muster loudly said, 'Get me my gun!''
"At that point the intruder left in a hurry."- TheManInTheShack
Could Have Used The Teethmarks As Evidence...
"I was at my friend’s place when it happened to him."
"We were both teenagers then."
"The guy thought everyone was sleeping and he got startled when he saw us, he bit my friend (his arm required stitches from the bite) and ran away."
"No idea who the guy was or what he wanted, never happened again and we never saw the guy again."- Melancholic84·
He Should Have Chosen Which House More Carefully...
"Tackled the guy."
"The hardest I’ve ever hit someone, and I’m a pretty big guy with a football background."
"But he didn’t see me coming."
"It felt very much like a do or die moment so I didn’t hold anything back."
"Broke a few of his bones, messed up his face, and got him sentenced to 6 years."- The_SunDancer
Still Had To Replace That TV...
"Not me, but my aunt."
"She was at home alone in her backyard making food, and when she walked into the living room, she saw a couple of men in the middle of carrying out the tv."
"It seems that they didn’t think anyone was at home; they got surprised, dropped the tv, and ran out after she started screaming."- RitaSaluki
Feline Intuition
"I was in bed asleep at 7am when I heard a loud bang."
"I thought nothing of it because of the large cat tree I have downstairs that's always getting knocked over, so I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep."
"Not long after my elderly cat comes running into my bedroom, jumps up on the bed and tries to hide under the blankets."
"This immediately woke me up because that old fat cat hadn't ran nor jumped on our bed for years."
"As I came two I see two men coming up my stairs."
"At that point it felt like time stopped and somehow ran incredibly fast at the same time."
"I jumped out of bed and started screaming 'GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY HOUSE!' and I remembered thinking while chasing these guys through my house and screaming again and again at the top of my lungs that my voice sounds exactly like my brother and I wondered how strange that was.""I tackled one of them on my front lawn, but he struggled free and got away."
"I saw the get away car and tried to keep repeating the license number, but it faded away in my mind as I was repeating it."
'I remember vividly being so mad at myself that I couldn't remember 7 numbers, and how stupid I was for not grabbing my phone! "
"Looking back on the situation there are so many things that happened that I never noticed, like how I fractured my arm slamming into the wall at the bottom of my stairs, and that I cut my feet up on the splintered wood of my front door."
"The adrenaline rush of a true fight or flight situation is something so strange it's almost impossible to accurately describe."
"The sense of time, not being aware of pain and injuries for hours, and the hyper focus on some details but the complete loss of others."
"Luckily I wasn't seriously hurt and nothing was stolen, but I installed cameras all over my house the very next day."- robot_boat_loan
camera surveillance GIF by MOST EXPENSIVESTGiphySometimes Size Does Matter...
"Girlfriend and I were sleeping in bed, some dummy broke into our apartment, ran real quick when he saw how big my naked a** was."- Croceyes2
FIVE DAYS?!?!
"Blocked the doors when it became clear that someone was trying to break in."
"My husband and I were staying with a friend and her husband; her step son and elderly mother in law were also in the house."
"Someone had heard the old lady had jewelry and decided to try their luck."
"We heard this later through the town grapevine."
"Said person then escalated to trying to kick his way in through the windows (they were leaded)."
"My husband called the police while my friend tried to keep the gap and child calm and her husband and I screamed a lot and sort of flailed at the protruding feet with pokers from the old fireplace."
"On realizing there were more of us than there were of him, he ran off."
"Good thing too; the police never showed."
"They called 5 days later to see 'if we still needed their assistance'."
"Bloody useless."
"In comparison 6 months later I arrived at work to discover the door and cash drawer had been jimmied and the £50 float nicked and they were over and taking fingerprints inside the hour."
"I wonder why trust in the police is so low."
"Total mystery."- Haunting-blade
It's a hard call to decide which is worse, being in the house while it's being burgled, and potentially saving your valuables, or being out and losing them.
Either way, it's a terrible situation no one deserves to be in.
Making the notion of buying a security system and bolts for your doors seem better with every passing second.
Redditor Frero_s wanted to discuss all the lessons they learned from the people they dated in the beginning, so they asked:
"What did you learn from your first relationship?"
My first love taught me to watch out for love.
Next to Godliness
snow white cleaning GIFGiphy"Compatibility with household cleanliness and organization habits is far more important than you think. Relationships where one partner cares a lot more about the household than the other will result in both parties resenting each other."
EdgyGoose
Firsts
“'When someone shows you who they are, believe them, the first time.' -Maya Angelou, several years after I learned that lesson the hard way, but I could never phrase it better."
"Going hand in hand with that, you can’t fix someone else, especially someone who’s given up on themselves. You can only put that kind of energy and effort into yourself and expect to see returns. That one took me a couple or three ill-advised relationships, truthfully."
Some_Specialist_5052
The One
"You're going to get your heart broken sometimes. That my friends is life."
MrDadBod
"I prefer to think that most relationships will end, but that doesn’t make them failures. You can learn things and grow as a person in many relationships, even ones that end poorly."
"You can make mistakes by staying in them too long, ending them too soon, treating your partner badly, or allowing yourself to be treated badly, but calling them failures is such a limited perspective. Most people that find 'the one' probably would have 'failed' in that relationship if they had no prior relationships to learn from."
whomeverwiz
Not Enough
"It's not enough to love someone; the way that love is expressed matters a lot. For a great relationship, you have to love your partner in the way they need to be loved."
NoodleWeird
"And this takes practice too! Patience at the beginning of a relationship is important. Don't just assume you know each other from the inside out in the beginning, and take time to understand where each person is coming from."
ChimkenFinger
"That's the principle of the Five Love Languages. Do and say the things of the love language your partner most connects to."
LucidWebMarketing
Let it Go
let it go GIFGiphy"That some people aren’t meant for you. Don’t wait for them to be somebody they aren’t and don’t try to change them to fit what you want them to be."
Elegant-Vehicle7314
The only change we can focus on is our own.
As a couple, it's about changing together.
Otherwise move on.
Lies
Three Little Pigs Wow GIF by LaffGiphy"Sometimes the words 'I love you' don’t actually mean much when the person saying them doesn’t believe in those words anymore."
GodofWar1234
Perfect
"Well, I didn't have my first relationship until I was 30 which ended up in marriage and eventually divorce. The biggest lesson I took from it was that waiting for that 'perfect' person was a complete waste of time. I had a very difficult time dating when I was younger. I put too much pressure on each date for it to be something special."
"The marriage taught me that I could actually be desirable and gave me confidence going forward. The divorce, on the other hand, made me a much more guarded and uncaring person. Turns out the uncaring part made it easier to go on dates (less anxiety) but harder for them to mean anything later on."
Boromn
Thank you, Katie...
"Make your own decisions about what you want out of life your instead of those that line up with what she wants out of her life."
"Almost followed a girl to Portland, OR, and took a job I didn't really want because I wanted to make 'us' work. So happy she cared enough about me to end things and tell me to find my own path. A wife, a successful military career, and a bunch of kids later, I'm eternally grateful things turned out the way they did. Thank you, Katie."
thethrillamanila
Want better for YOU!
"To never chase or beg anyone to stay."
DarlinggD
"My first gf broke up with me over text right after she had left my place, walked her home even though we were both upset at each other. She refused to talk about it in person and then got mad at me for not fighting to keep her. I think I dodged a bullet because I don't think any relationship will work if one party refuses to communicate, uses breaking up to try to manipulate, or breaks up over text. All 3 in this case."
LumberWand
Under Pressure
Fuck You Season 4 GIF by FriendsGiphy"Someone can be a really good friend, doesn’t mean they’ll be a good partner. Also not to give in to pressure from your partner on things you believe in."
Rebel_0518
See your worth
"Apparently I get too attached which is odd to me cause I’m just trying to care and I suppose it comes off in a weird way. I’m not gonna stop 'cause I know someone will see my worth and appreciate every second of it when they find me."
Odd_Imagination_6617
"Please don’t ever stop caring. There are enough emotionally detached people in the world; so much so that they’ll have you feeling like you’re the oddball."
Queasy_Thought_6532
Big lessons here.
Relationships take way more than love.
Learn it young.
People Share The Dumbest Things People Have Said To Them
People say and do stupid things, but sometimes they're so dumb that our very faith in humanity shatters into tiny bits - like stopping on a highway out of respect for a funeral going the opposite direction, or using "xoxoxox" as a signature in a work email to a client. We've come a long way as a species, but like... WTF?
SmokeyBare asked, What made you say "f*ck, people are dumb"?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Apparently dogs only understand English.
A girl in one of my college classes didn't understand how dogs in Spain understood their owners. She thought dogs only understood English and were just lost as hell in any other country.
nate800
This person drives for a living.
I once had a Lyft driver who could not wrap her mind around the fact that people in Australia drive on the left side of the road. "How do they even do that without getting into an accident?!" I lost some of my faith in humanity that day.
LosGatosMalos
Not surprising in the least.
Worked at a Starbucks in a mall a few years ago. Some of the stores were going to be closed for Easter, and they had a list of those stores on signs all around the store way ahead of time.
Lady walks up to me at the register and asks if I know what stores will be closed.
I tell her I don't know them all but that there's a sign right behind her with a list to which she promptly responds with "I don't read signs" then expects me to tell her what she wants to know.
I couldn't hold my laughter after that.
tjcoolkid
Can confirm.
Bartending for the past 14 months has really helped me with my staircase wit. I would recommend everyone try bartending, but bartending also taught me how stupid people can be.
snickerDUDEls
We've all met this lady.
I've met this lady.
I worked at a tea house. We closed for private events. When we did, it usually meant we closed early. The catch was that the guests still needed to get inside, so we closed the doors but didn't lock them. Signs were posted outside, directly in the path of the door, on big sandwich boards, explaining we were closed for a private party.
The party starts, gets going, and everyone has arrived. They have their tea, they're having a blast. Two hours in, this lady trips over our sign, moves it out of the way, and drags the door open. I'm watching her do this, feeling what little faith I had left in humanity drain away, pray she'll get it together and stay outside. But no, she's determined. She's getting her $7 coffee even if she has to chip a nail to do it.
She gets inside, straightens her coat, huffing at me. "You're so unwelcoming, making it so hard to get inside! Anyway, I want—,"
Jesus, she's actually trying to order. At this point, the party is starting to notice. She doesn't belong, she isn't here for their baby shower or bridal shower or whatever.
"Oh I'm sorry, we're closed!" I'm trying to be nice. I've had the face on all day, surely it will withstand her and my inner anguish will stay under the surface, right.
"No, I want my latte," she just brushed it aside. Maybe she didn't hear me.
"I can't do that for you, we're closed for a private party, I'm sorry!"
"Um, what?" Disbelief. Shock. It's starting to sink in through her inches of make up and cloud of self-entitlement-scented perfume. She's being told no? Perish the thought.
"Yeah, like the sign you moved out of the way said, we are closed for a private party. I will not serve you today." Polite. Firm. Passive aggressive. I'm supposed to be the one staff here that's good with the difficult customers. Keep it together!
"Ugh, whatever! Like, I don't read signs! Your coffee isn't even that good anyway, I was just supporting you people because you're foreign!"
She left in a huff, stumbled around the sign again, and walked down the block to Starbucks.
What a piece of humanity.
m4ttr1k4n
Professionalism 101.
Trained up a new girl at work, over the period of a few weeks. Emphasized that one of the most important things in the role is attention to detail. Wording things correctly, showing pride in your work etc.
Day 1 without me, begins sending emails to customers that look like they were written by a 6-year-old. Using the letter 'U' instead of 'you', 'thx' instead of 'thanks' & xoxo at the end of her signature.
I laughed so, so hard. She was fired two days later.
TISM_riverphoenix
Darwin award.
Last night, driving home from a friend's place, this dude on a bike -- no helmet, no lights, no reflective gear, wearing black, at night, riding in the fast lane of a multi-lane highway where bikes are prohibited, turning at a light against the red, while talking on the phone.
Yoglets
Same.
Someone who had been trying a 'Mediterranean diet' on the advice of their doctor managed to put on 15kg in the 4 weeks since they were advised to do so.
The classic 'fish and vegetables' approach they had fervently adhered to had comprised of eating nothing but deepfried fish and chips from the local chippy.
Every day.
For four weeks.
barneylow
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The Cleveland Balloon Disaster of 1986.
At that time, the City of Cleveland attempted to set a Guinness World Record by releasing over one-and-a-half-million balloons into the sky from one location.
The resulting cloud was so thick that it temporarily shaded out the sun over part of the city. Many of the balloons went straight into Lake Erie, which interfered with a very urgent Coast Guard search and rescue mission. The victims were found dead several days later.
Most of the remaining balloons drifted up to Canada, where they promptly deflated and littered natural areas en masse.
For weeks, the shoreline was covered in pieces of rubber.
The Guinness Book of World Records refused to recognize the stunt due to its severe negative impact on the environment. Many of the participants seemed genuinely shocked that the balloons eventually fell back down to the ground.
HighDingyDoo
Okay, this is really, really stupid.
My buddy and I were traveling on a highway with a 60 MPH speed limit but most people go around 70. Lots of long straight stretches, double lanes on each side with a large grass median that makes the highway more like an interstate. The road slightly inclines at a certain point and as we go over the crest we see two vehicles stopped in both lanes. My buddy slams his brakes and I think we're definitely going to plow into them. He stops inches from a car and then I hear tires squealing behind us as a large truck barrels our way. I thought we were gonna die. My friend angles his truck just enough that we don't get ran over. Behind us is total chaos as vehicles slam their brakes. So why were these two vehicles stopped in the middle of both lanes?
A funeral procession was traveling in the opposite direction down the highway and they stopped out of "respect." Remember a large grass median separated the two sections so you could barely even determine it was a funeral procession at all. I couldn't believe the absolute stupidity of the two cars that stopped. I understand showing respect but you cannot come to a complete stop on a highway on which people are going 70 MPH. They almost injured/killed multiple people due to their show of respect.
Metroid_PrimeRib
Interest-ing
I had an ex that financed all her furniture for a new house. I got a call from her a few months later saying " did you know when you finance something you end up paying WAY more than an item is worth". Felt bad for her.
Badatthis28
Dino-mighty Big Mistake
This reminds me of the beached whale in Oregon in the 70's that was blown up with dynamite and it went so much worse than anticipated. They used way too much dynamite and it rained down decomposing whale bits all over beach goers and even flattened a car or two. Not sure what they were thinking and now they dispose of whales in a much safer fashion.
randominiquelouise
"A beached whale in one big piece is too heavy! We have to make it into smaller pieces. Cutting it up will take too long. Let's just stuff a bunch of dynamite up in there. What could go wrong?" Maybe they thought it would explode into teeny tiny pieces and burn up completely in the explosion? Too bad that isn't how any of that works
coolerdog
News Vampires
This reminds me of an incident from the early 90s (I think) when a commercial airliner went down. It turned out that a very large family were all on the plane together, going back to the old country to visit relatives. Some poor woman here in the US had just lost 17 family members in the crash. They cut to on-the-street camera footage and all you could see was this crying, elderly Asian woman pushing through a throng of cameramen trying to get to her car. It was repugnant. And being the vampires they are, the TV news editors *still* chose to air those 5 seconds of video. Just awful. I don't watch TV anymore.
scarabic
i've been a 911 dispatcher for almost 30 years, and when the news stations would want a copy of a 911 tape released, you could literally see their disappointment if the person wasn't hysterical. we had one where a toddler was shot by a bullet that came through the wall from the next apt. when they found out the mother wasn't screaming and upset when she called 911, they literally got up, said they didn't it, and walked out.
JohnDeereWife
Ride The Wave
Finding out people who can't swim will take their children who also can't swim to water parks and get into the wave pool expecting tubes and floaties to keep them alive.
Wave pools are dangerous enough, even for people who CAN swim. Why would anyone who can't swim willingly get into one? Go to a waterpark, sure! But stick with the shallower rides that aren't full of waves designed to knock people around.
beepborpimajorp
Security Risk
Tl;Dr: A man tried to run full speed through the Disneyland security checkpoint, got clotheslined by security, and then was completely unwilling to understand why his family now wouldn't be allowed in the park due to him being a "security risk."
On my last trip to Disneyland, I was waiting in line to enter the park. Recently, due to stupid people doing stupid things, Disney has implemented a security checkpoint. This includes a bag check and a metal detector. It moves fast, it's easy, it takes maybe three minutes out of your day.
As I was standing there, from behind me, I heard the telltale sound of someone running in flip flops. I turned around and there was a family of five SPRINTING towards the checkpoint, all in matching shirts, looking like they were running for their lives. I think a parade was about to start, or something. Clearly their lives would end if they didn't make it inside in time to see the old man from Up waving on a float.
The mom and the three kids slowed down a little to find a security line. The dad didn't. Desperate times called for desperate measures. If he didn't get Little Jimmy inside in time to see Moana SHIT WAS GOING TO HIT THE FAN.
The dad blew straight past the bag check, jostling a few people, and continued right through the metal detector. The alarms went off, but he didn't stop. Not yet.
A security guard jumped in front of him, threw out an arm, and clotheslined his a**.
By the time I got through the line, they had pulled the guy and his completely MORTIFIED family off to the side, and were attempting to escort them out of the park. The guy was confused, angry, and volatile. What did they MEAN he couldn't go in?! What did they MEAN he was now a "security risk?!" He's here on VACATION.
I ended up walking away, just close enough to hear an angry "BUT WE BOUGHT TICKETS!"
If I had three days and a powerPoint presentation I still don't think I could explain to that man what he did wrong.
By the way, the parade was baller.
SpelledWithAn_H