It seems like everybody should observe a basic level of respect at a funeral.
But alas. Some people are challenged to find respect even in time of deepest grief. And unfortunately, someone has to hear them.
There's a coffin going into the ground and you still can't get your mouth in order? Come on.
Here were some of those answers.
Stingy Even In LifeGiphy
Guy asking the deceased's brother for the 45$ the deceased owed him.
Some people are so stingy, it's crazy.
This kinda reminds me of how my parents took in my cousin for a while when he was a child, because his parents could not take care of him at that time. He stayed with us for about 9 months. Then a few years later my brother was staying with my cousins dad for a weekend, and got ill so the dad has to drive him home.. and went on to ask my parents for 10 dollars gas money. My cousin stayed with us for free those 9 months. My parents gave him 10 bucks and then laughed at him once he left.
The dude's mother died and instead of saying "sorry for your loss" i said "hows it going".
I felt so stupid and actually forgot about that until i read this...
My mom died last year. At the funeral people would come up to me and casually ask this.
It didn't offend me at all and actually it felt better because it showed me that the people asking me that question actually cared, and encouraged conversations.
Your friend will probably have felt the same way. Either way, you did fine. Nothing wrong at all!
Somebody Should Drop A House On Him
"One grandparent down, one to go and I get a house". Hate that cousin.
Some people have no tact...
That's ridiculously awful.
Mrs. Lovett Wrote This
At their grandpa's funeral, my friend had an aunt who kept asking people if they wanted to go out for pie afterward.
This Is My Choice Grandpa
My uncle passed and they had a little memorial service for him. He was cremated. My grandpa asked my cousin (uncle's son) something along the lines of, "You're not gonna keep that urn are you? I don't see why anyone would want to."
I just kinda looked around, because it was uncomfortable. My cousin kinda stammered through a response, but like, why say that?
When Is Dark Too Dark?
At a church funeral where I provided organ music, the eulogist said of his deceased grandfather:
"He proudly told everyone that the only time he ever stepped foot in a church was when he was baptized - and even then, like today, he had to be carried."
Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with a few dark jokes at a funeral, as long as they're in good taste. I hope I get roasted at mine.
Shirts Speak Louder Than Words
My dad's sister (my aunt, yes, but i'm trying to keep as much distance as possible) is a freeloader. At her mother's funeral, she showed up in yoga pants and a bright pink neon shirt that had several bleach stains on the front and in huge, black, block letters on the front said: "LEAVE ME ALONE."
Her and my father have never gotten along, even since they were kids, but i thought he was going to physically harm her when she came waltzing in with that on.
At my uncle's funeral, this trashy woman interrupted the eulogy to complain that my uncle still owed her some money. The guy talking said "raise your hand if so-and-so owes you money when he died." Everyone in the room raised their hand and laughed. He went on to say that my uncle owed everybody money but that wasn't what we were gathered together to talk about.
It shut the woman up pretty quickly.
It Was Me. I Awkwarded
Well... I once left a funeral after hearing myself tell a grieving mother, "Have a nice night".
Some things you do on automatic pilot, and thankfully (at least for me) funerals are rare enough I haven't practiced enough for the appropriate things to say to be second nature.
Luckily we both got a much-needed bit of a laugh out of it.
How To Lose A FriendGiphy
During high school my best friend's mom died. We had been best friends for 5 years, and it felt like losing a family member. It was also incredibly hard to see my friend grieving without being able to do anything to help.
At the funeral, I cried. I'm not a particularly pretty crier. Another friend of ours felt it was good timing to make jokes about what I looked like while crying, and audibly laughed during a quiet moment during the services.
She had been one of both of our closest friends during the year prior to the funeral, so we loved her but that was definitely not cool.
It's Actually Not Real
My BFFs grandmothers wake (in Ireland this is held for 1/2 days before the funeral), I went into the room where she was laid out and had what I can only describe at that time as a laughter spasm. I tried to stifle it, not a chance, the tears were coming out of my eyes with laughter, my nose was snorting, my stomach physically hurt with this within seconds of it starting, I got out of the room asap and left the house.
As I left my laughter echoed around the house, I retreated to the farmyard but the laughter was still as bad and still echoing, so finally got her cousin to kick me several times in the stomach (he was reluctant to as strong due to the army) to try and stop it, not a chance. After almost 30 mins of laughing, it finally stopped when I passed out. It led to a diagnosis of what was actually happening and suitable treatment.
One of her uncles has held it against me, her mum said she realised something was wrong as very out of character and my eyes looked funny but not in a drugged type way.
Here's Where The Golden Rule Comes In Handy
My mom's eldest sister says to my dad, at his mom's funeral: "your mother was a sweet and kind woman. Maybe some of that sweetness will/could rub off of you, and you can be a nicer person."
Now, first of all, my dad might not be an angel, but mean for no reason he ain't. You have to pretty much come out swinging at him first. He's a 66 year old Chicagoan. Few things get to him. His mother was his everything. He researched and bought a lot of things to make her life easier, when she started showing signs of Alzheimer's at 72. She lived to 90, just as loved and beautiful and well cared for. Her home hospice team praised dad. They had to force him to take a break.
My father, who could have very well put grandma in a home, fulfilled her wish to die at home. He busted his ass to rearrange the house for her mobility. He endured mood swings and so many things to make sure she was comfortable. It was all a labor of love. As long as I've been alive, I've seen the man go to great lengths to help his mother.
And this witch had the full audacity to tell him be sweeter. You know why she thinks he's not sweet? Because her family treated him poorly. Lot of colorism on that side, lot of favoritism and emasculation. My mom hated it and wasn't like that, but her family...ugh.
In that moment, it was uncalled for. My loving, kind, hurting father had just lost his damned MOTHER, a woman who dedicated her life to her kids and extended family. A woman who became MY mother when my own died in 1988. She had just died June 3, her birthday is June 6th. The funeral was June 9th. He broke down in tears at the funeral home, he was processing life without her, and that old smart mouthed heifer had the nerve to tell him be sweeter.
I was tempted to trip her, but I stopped myself. But it ate me up. She didn't even extend condolences, just commentary. Rotten commentary.
Wrong Place Wrong TimeGiphy
My dad has/had 4 children. 2 from his first marriage and 2 when he married my mom.
One of his sons from first marriage died. After the funeral we were all eating at church from food people had brought. A conversation started up at the table next to us, talking about family sizes, what is a good number of kids for people to have. Someone said something like "4 kids is too many, 3 is enough." My dad heard it and a sad look crossed his face.
Nobody got angry or anything... obviously it was just some light-hearted conversation and the person didn't mean anything by it. The conversation shifted to another topic.
Stop Capitalizing On My Parents' Deaths Please
We had a two hour visitation at the church before my mother's funeral where my brother and I were receiving condolences. A 'friend' of the family who is a realtor came up to me, gave me a hug, and then handed me her business card, telling me she'd be happy to help sell my mom's house as soon as I was ready. Needless to say, we used a different realtor when the time came.
No One Likes You, Noreen
Not the funeral but the wake the night before. My dad died unexpectedly at 57. My siblings and I are adults but none are married or have children. My dad's cousin loudly said that it was a shame that my dad never had the "joy of grandchildren" and now we will have to live with knowing we deprived him of that. As the only daughter, this was mostly directed at me as she had asked before why I was thinking of grad school when, at 30, I was already "an old maid."