People Share The Most Important Questions They’d Have After Waking From A 20-Year Coma

How do I look?

[rebelmouse-image 18357020 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I'd ask for a mirror.

Medical Advances

[rebelmouse-image 18357020 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"It's been twenty years and you guys haven't figured how to bring people out of a coma? jeesh"

Dependable Dad

[rebelmouse-image 18357022 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Honestly I'd probably ask where my dad was. If I was alive on life support for 20 years, I assume he would have been paying the bills. He'd be an old man by then. I've no idea if my girlfriend would still be there. She loves me, but she also wants to be a mother more than anything, and she'd probably stop waiting after 5-10 years, which I would not blame her for. But I know my dad would keep me alive until the day he dies, no matter the cost.

Goddamn I love my dad.

Catheter Concerns

[rebelmouse-image 18357020 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"Can you please remove this plastic tube from my....?"

Sci-Fi Fanatic

[rebelmouse-image 18357020 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"Were the new Star Wars movies any good?" ??????

Not Sure My Insurance Covers This

[rebelmouse-image 18357020 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"How much debt am I in, now that I've been in the hospital for 20 years?"

Cryptocurrency Concerns

[rebelmouse-image 18357023 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"How much are my 10 bitcoins worth?"

Priorities

[rebelmouse-image 18357020 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"DOCTOR, I NEED PIZZA, COKE, A LAPTOP AND THE WI-FI PASSWORD. STAT!"

Mom and Dad, I Can Explain

[rebelmouse-image 18357024 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"Did anyone look at my internet history?"

Figuratively Speaking

[rebelmouse-image 18357020 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I'd... hope that I had at least lost some weight on my strict liquid tube feeding diet.

Breaking Down

[rebelmouse-image 18357020 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

No questions. Just crying. Then after crying for 1 hour straight "where's my mom?"

Call Me Rip Van Winkle

[rebelmouse-image 18357020 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"Did I oversleep again?"

So Embarrassed

[rebelmouse-image 18357020 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"Was I snoring? I would be so embarrassed if I was snoring... Holy sh*t did I fart? Wait don't tell me.... OK tell me...wait no...I farted huh?....ahhhh I hate comas!!!!!!!"

Date Night

[rebelmouse-image 18357020 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

If it's a hot doctor: "How you doing?"

Mr. Clean

[rebelmouse-image 18357020 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I'd probably ask for a shower and a razor. I can't imagine they would keep me that clean.

Gotta Go

[rebelmouse-image 18357025 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"Bathroom. WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?"

That Took An Unexpected Turn

[rebelmouse-image 18357020 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"You know, most test subjects come out of stasis horribly malnourished. Congratulations on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds."

Asking for a Friend

[rebelmouse-image 18357020 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Do Japanese robotic girlfriends exist yet? How much?

Doctor What?

[rebelmouse-image 18357020 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"WHO'S THE CURRENT DOCTOR? ARE BOW TIES STILL COOL? TELL ME!" __

Do You Own a Crossbow?

[rebelmouse-image 18357026 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"What's that door over there with the sign that reads 'DON'T DEAD, OPEN INSIDE'?"

People Share The Best Morbid Jokes They Know
Photo by Marija Zaric on Unsplash

Comedy is in a very tricky place right now.

There is so much to NOT laugh about in this world.

In truth, many of us have forgotten how to laugh.

And certain jokes that are told, make people afraid to laugh.

So what do we do?

We tell inappropriate jokes apparently.

Let's hear some...

Redditor CrewCreation wanted to hear some "risky" comedy. So they asked:

"What’s the best morbid joke you know?"
Keep reading... Show less

Life can change in an instant.

It can always change for the better.

Just ask any lottery winner.

Sadly, life can also take a turn for the worst and leave people shattered beyond repair.

Watching someone's life fall apart in a short amount of time is difficult.

You have to wonder if there really is such a thing as karma, bad luck, or Voodoo.

Redditor OkImagination5852 wanted to hear about the times we've been witness to personal disaster. They asked:

"People who witness a person's life crumble in a single day, what happened?"
Keep reading... Show less
Rich People Describe The Craziest Thing They've Ever Seen Someone Spend Money On
Jp Valery on Unsplash

Those who are wealthy have the luxury of acquiring the best of the best–whether it's dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant or status-identifying clothing from Chanel or Yves Saint Laurent.

Keep reading... Show less
Divorced People Break Down The Irreconcilable Differences With Their Former Partner
engin akyurt on Unsplash

When marriages or relationships fall apart, infidelity is not always the cause.

Keep reading... Show less