Part of life is taking risks, even really stupid ones. What's really important is learning from them - but let's be real, we usually don't.
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Nothing good happens in a bog.
As a kid me and some friends built a 'bridge' out of hay and wood across a dried out bog. I tested it and fell through somewhere in the middle. Thankfully I'd read in a book that if you're being sucked down by quicksand or something, the best thing to do is relax and spread your weight out evenly. That kept my head and arms above the muck until one of my friends could find a tree branch to haul me out.
Every time someone posts one of those 'quicksand wasn't as big an issue as I thought it would be' memes I'm like... hm.
Darwin Award contender. The coma sounds nice though.
Sitting on the trunk of a car. "Just drive slow and I'll hop off at my house."
They did not drive slowly. I got to be in a coma though, so that was nice.
Pro tip: blame the interviewer.
Farting silently during a job interview.
That'll get you at least 3 stars in GTA.
Driving through a military base closed to the public in hopes of arriving at my destination faster.
Beware the large load.
Near the end of a 68 hour week, I was dead tired and just wanted to go home. I had three tons suspended in the air by a shop crane and I left the remote on the other side of the load. Instead of walking around it, I walked right under it and grabbed the remote. I froze for a moment and contemplated what I just did. Put the load down, clocked off and went to sleep thinking about how much of an idiot I am.
She lived to tell the tale.
I hitchhiked across a province, and at nightfall after getting soaked during a downfall (people tend not to pick you up during the rain), I was exhausted and so defeated, and so I accepted a complete strangers offer to go to his cabin in the woods for the night.
Music festivals draw the best people.
Stayed with a stranger whom I just met after a concert when I had no where to stay that night. Wasn't sexual, he didn't try anything or insinuate that I owed him anything - just a nice bloke offering the spare bed in his hotel room.
Karma - and a brave move, considering the times.
Went with some friends to a party. We drove there, and unfortunately everyone (including myself) got plastered. The party was in a bad neighborhood in the Bronx and I insisted that we chip in for a cab because driving drunk would be stupid.
I was called a pussy, and idiot, moron, then told if I don't like it I can walk home. F*ck that I know my life is worth it so I just headed off towards the Grand Concourse (this was back in the 80's, bad times then).
Walked about 15 blocks avoiding groups of people (especially the ones shouting at me), got tailed for a bit by a group of older guys and made a mad dash for the subway. It was 1 am, the station was empty and it took me 2 hours to get home.
Next day I get a call from one of my friends parents, they were upset with me for letting them drive home (they got into a fender bender with a cop car (yea karma)).
I laughed when she told me what happened, then explained that I was the one that was put down and told to walk home if I didn't like it, they wouldn't take a cab. She apologized and I made sure that every one of those asshats weren't part of my life anymore.
Drinking then driving is never worth it.
I drove home with a drunk friend who was taking shots before we left the bar. I was 21 and stupid. On the way home instead of taking the turn we went into a ditch and stopped 2 feet short of a telephone pole. We were fine but it definitely was a wake up call.
Raise your hand if you're feeling attacked.
Picked up a cap of what I presumed was molly at a party off the floor and popped it.
Good party. Decent high. Can't believe how stupid I was.
When I was in high school some guys were "car surfing" in the parking lot and one almost died. The two cars collided, which sent him flying off the roof. His top half went through the windshield while his bottom half was nearly smashed between the cars.
Needless to say, they both got in enormous amounts of trouble.
Flew off, head first into the curb. Induced coma for about two weeks. When I woke up, I was insane. They hand cuffed me to the bed because I kept trying to run away. Seeing as I was completely paralyzed on one side, that wasn't safe. Month in the rehab hospital once I was medically out of the woods. Learning to walk, talk again. How to use my fingers.
This was at age 15.
Vision problems for a few months after that. Nothing had the "outline" around it, if that makes any sense. Things just kind of bled into each other.
Couldn't remember words. Developed a weird tick where I would tap my fingers together when talking, as if trying to grab the word. Still happens sometimes.
Persistent bouts of "cloudy head." I can't describe them. They're just "bad head days." Still struggle with impulse control and temper.
The seizures started four years later. Lots of different meds and a couple wrecked cars later, we found something that worked. The wrecks weren't seizure related, but the lack of sleep probably was.
The migraines just started this February, at age 37. Debilitating dizziness and sound sensitivity. Can't think. Can't sleep. Neurologist thought they were seizures but later decided on migraines. New meds and a chiropractor are helping, but some days are still hella rough.
But all the docs thought I wouldn't live and if I did I would be requiring 24/7 care, so I still got pretty lucky.
I am a rugby player and was a bank teller in 2009. I'll never forget the date: 09/10/2009.
A group of 5-6 burglars stole $47K from an ATM I was doing some maintenance. When they ran out of the branch, everyone of them but one went to the right; the dipshit who went left was carrying the money bag, and my rugby instincts instinctly kicked in: I ran after him for half a block and tackled him from behind.
The look of despair in his eyes when he saw a crazy teller it's one of the memories I'll never forget. We tried to punch each other, with no success. When he realized I wasn't letting him go away with the cash, he threw the bag in the middle of the avenue and ran away.
The whole action lasted about 60 seconds, I believe. Afterwards, I couldn't stop thinking "what if?": what if he had a gun? What if he had someone waiting him in the direction he went?
My mother wanted to kill me, but I got promoted. Good times.
Definitely a bad idea.
Mixing heroin and Xanax, don't do that kids, that's how you die.
Walked through the woods to smoke weed with some buddies. One of my friends dogs followed us. We were about to cross the Amtrak train tracks when I heard a high pitched whine. Look down one side of the tracks to see the headlight of a train speeding towards us, about a quarter mile away. These trains travel at over 100 MPH. My two friends, being high, got spooked and ran after I yelled about a train coming. I turned to walk away and out of the corner of my eye see "holly", my friends dog, just staring at me while standing right in the middle of the tracks. I ran as fast as I could to her, grabbed her by the collar and pulled her off the tracks. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in close as the train sped by, inches from my body and the scared pooch. After the train passed I turned around to see my friends chest deep in stagnant pond water yelling "that was AWESOME!!!!". Situational awareness almost got me killed because I decided to save the dog. She has since passed. RIP Holly, you were always a good girl.
Done it. Those tracks are deep.
I was ten riding the DC Metro for the first time by myself when I dropped my keys on the track. Two minutes till the next train vs 5 seconds to get my keys from the track so I jumped down.
It's harder than you think to get back on those platforms.
Tempting. Risky, but tempting.
Quit my job, sold everything, and moved into a van for about a year.
Not all heroes wear capes.
Walked five miles from the Inner Harbor in Baltimore up north to my apartment at 2 AM. Lotsa sketchy folk.
Not all television and movies are loved by all.
A story and its characters have to appeal to you in order for you to be engaged.
It can take next to nothing for us to lose interest and let the screen go black.
Redditor BarooTangClan wanted to compare notes on all the entertainment we've said "that's enough" to.
"What will make you instantly stop watching a movie or show and why?"
I hate bad acting, writing, storytelling... I hate bad anything.
Stop JumpingFight Scene GIF by Operation FortuneGiphy
"Fight scenes with a million visual cuts. Gives me motion sickness. Contrast the absolutely masterful work in John Wick. long cuts, realistic use of weapons (mostly), 100% skill."
"When the actors whisper the whole movie and you have to crank the volume to hear what's being said - but the soundtrack or some other misc noise starts blaring at a higher volume directly after."
"I basically had to watch Stranger Things up in my attic with the windows and doors closed. I was worried the neighbors would think something was wrong or be annoyed if I watched it downstairs in my single family home. It was ridiculous."
"spice things up"
"Love triangles out of no where in a second or third season to 'spice things up' because studio writers are hacks and their idea of relationship drama is 'potential infidelity' at all times. It's the most tired trope on the go**amn planet and the second I see it rear its head I dip right the hell out."
"The whole concept of a love triangle to begin with an incredibly juvenile. Any healthy functioning adult who found themselves in a love triangle would soon choose to find themselves single."
Save your lips...
"When couples in a movie/show have a fight and one of them instantly goes to a friend and end up kissing her/him after talking for 5 minutes. I cringe so hard i turn it off and never watch it again."
"This pissed me off so much in Manifest. Girl is desperate to get back her ex-fiancé, he finally breaks up with his wife to get back with her and she's like 'nah, it's not fair to your wife, let me do this other dude I just met through a calling and be pissed at you for being jealous.' Michaela was the worst and everyone acted as if she were a saint the entire time."
Talk to MeIn Love Flirt GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Shows where a single polite conversation could fix everything."
We are going overboard with the witty repartee. Talk normal...
Shut UpScared Home Alone GIF by FreeformGiphy
"Annoying main character, especially if it's a kid."
"Kids who have a quippy, sassy retort to everything, and everyone just kind of crumbles before their wit."
"Shows where kids in high school talk like they are 30 years olds who have done everything, been everywhere, know it all and use a ridiculously flowery and extensive vocabulary in every conversation. Like, have any of these writers ever been to high school? Literally no one talks like that. Even worse is when, in addition to this, all the adults talk normal or are just plain stupid, like so weird parallel universe."
"If the movie is too dark. Not graphic, just literally dark. I lose all sense of intensity in dark scenes and I'm not straining my damn eyes trying to figure out what the hell is going on."
"I've seen about 10 percent of all DC movies recently. I've seen all of the individual films in full, just actually saw 10% of each of them."
"Movies in the late 80s had a lot of dark but you could see the depth because of different shooting techniques. Now you cant see crap because its a CGI fest drowned in black color so you can't see crap because you have no depth in a scene. Compare night scenes in dark alleys in 80's movies and movies now. Utter crap show in the new ones."
Pay Attention Storytellers
"Bad editing would be a big one. A lot of modern horror movies can't help but edit the movies like they're trailers, with added noises to scare the audience because they are afraid the script alone isn't enough to keep people watching."
"I remember this is where the first transformers movie lost me. When the transformers are fighting at the end, it's all a big, jumbled mess of metal and I can barely tell what's going on or who is who."
Dramawill devry soap opera GIF by General HospitalGiphy
"When they go straight to relationship drama right away when it wasn't the selling point of the show."
Do better, Hollywood. It's not that hard.
I fear death.
I wake up in cold sweats dreaming about it.
I think about it in my waking hours.
It's an obsession and clearly, I'm not alone.
But there are more preferred ways to exit.
All we can do is hope to be lucky enough to skip the mercilessly awful.
Please just let me go quick and in my sleep.
RedditorCallMehRiverwanted to hear about all the ways none of us what to leave this life.
"What Do You Think Would Be The Worst Death Imaginable?"
My list of the worst deaths is long. My imagination runs amok.
Trappedseason 6 friends GIFGiphy
"For me? Being trapped in a small tube or cave (like the ones you have to wiggle through) and getting stuck to where you can’t move your arms. And all you can do is wait to die. I’m getting chills just thinking about it."
"The more I hear about cavers that get stuck, the more I think that's a crap way to go."
"There’s a great YouTube channel called Ask a Mortician and this was her #1 worse way to die. I can’t remember the exact details or their names, but two well-known divers went into an underwater cave."
"One of them became entangled and died. Years later, his friend dives back down there to try and retrieve his body, the body itself is rotten and his head comes off and the other guy also becomes tangled and dies. Really sad."
A Long Process
"Believed to be in a coma but coherent through the whole 20 year process until they pull the plug."
"Oh man this just reminded me of a story I read on here about a guy who lost the ability to move and speak but was completely conscious. Had to just lay there and be awake but trapped in a useless body. His family thought he was brain dead or something and he couldn’t communicate to them that he was 'all there.' Crazy"
Slow & Steady
"Being slowly impaled by a growing bamboo. It was a form of torture probably used by the japanese during WW2 against Allied prisoners."
"The scariest part is that once you have symptoms, you 100% will die. A 100% mortality rate has to be a psychological torture in itself."
"Not only that, you feel irrational fear. Your brain is literally being eaten apart by the virus and it fu*ks up everything on it. You can't drink water because it hurts you. You feel dizzy, present a fever, excessively salivate, everything hurts and it only gets worse. I'd rather take a bullet and die when the symptoms are still tolerable."
Why can't we all just go engulfed in calm and quiet?
"Some pulpy sci-fi book I read a while back had one of the best deaths of this real piece of crap bad guy. Left to die in a drowning sea lab under the Antarctic ice, he freezes himself in a state of the art suspended animation pod with some kind cold fusion power source that would keep it running for millions of years."
"But he forgot to inject himself with the drug that would put him to sleep. So basically he is in suspended animation at the bottom of the Antarctic ocean while his mind is perfectly awake and conscious in a near unbreakable machine that won't run out of power for millions of years and nobody knows about it."
"As an RN I have always thought that the worst way to die (natural process) is ALS. Lou Gehrig's Disease."
"My mom and grandmother have Huntington's disease, which is essentially ALS, Alzheimer's, and Dementia combined into one really messed up genetic disease. I have a 50% chance of inheriting it and if I hit 40 and there's still no cure I can't promise I'll feel like continuing on with my life because that disease is absolutely freaking miserable."
"The fact your chromosomes can be so destroyed your body basically lost it's genetic code and with it the ability to make any new cells. It's literally a 'dead man walking' and you slowly rot away in agony. Stuff is so unimaginably f**ked up."
"What's also bad about radiation is that it affects your nerves and brain cells last, so you have everything in place to feel all the pain of the rest of your cells being destroyed."
GooNot Listening Season 2 GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy
"I want to believe anything that slowly kills you painfully to be the worst. Such as slowly being crushed or something where the pain is beyond compare and yet not enough to throw you into shock or unconsciousness."
"Alternatively, being rapidly crushed into goo would probably be the least painful. I'm talking one of those massive industrial hammers they use for large steel work. Basically smooshed before the nerve signals make it to the brain."
Now I'll never sleep again without nightmares of death.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Most Americans think nothing of their humdrum daily activities or amenities available to them.
However, others with a different perspective might romanticize the things that are otherwise commonplace ideas and concepts for US citizens, like going to a diner or riding the school bus.
One Redditor looked to foreigners to hear of their American desires to respond to the following:
"Non-Americans of Reddit: what is an American thing you have always wanted to try?"
The things depicted in film really captivated foreign audiences.
"To visit a diner like in the movies. In the middle of the night, it’s raining and just a few people there with great music from a jukebox."
Iconic Student Transport
"Ride a yellow school bus even if I'm too old. Growing up I always loved seeing them on TV."
Just Like The Ones We Used To Know
"A white Christmas."
"Living in an Australian state where I've never even seen snow in our winter, let alone experiencing that classic Hallmark movie moment of waking up to a street full of it and sitting around a fireplace while opening gifts/preparing a feast."
"Guess it's not strictly American, but the imagery and trope is something I've only really seen from American Films."
They may be ubiquitous for us, but they sure seem to be novel ideas to foreigners.
Let's Be Frank
"One of the hotdogs from those little street cart things."
"A friend of mine from Indonesia said, 'the food chewer in the sink.'"
"Apple Pie made by white-haired grandma, placed near window, who says 'oh dear...' as I levitate towards it."
"Proper tailgating before a ball game, the kind where there's ribs and stuff."
"Deep fried foods at a state fair. I'm from Scotland and we love to deep fry everything and I wanna know if it's just as good or better."
There are places to see!
Places To See
"America’s greatest invention!"
Backpacking In Nature
"I always wanted to hike The Appalachian Trail if that counts. Or see Yellowstone."
"Being able to start a whole new life 'elsewhere' without having to leave my country and going through an arduous immigration process."
My cousin told me she looks forward to visiting a Trader Joe's someday when she visits America for the first time.
Her bucket list option was hardly surprising. My parents used to bring treats from TJs as a novelty souvenir gift item, and my relatives ate it up. Literally.
Let's face it. The snacks at TJs rocks.
Even store locations in New York City would have ridiculously long lines during busy hours because the West-coast-based grocer was a novelty on the East Coast.
Many people work hard from the moment they are on the clock until their respective shifts are over at the end of a long day.
For many of those in the workforce, the wages barely sustain a comfortable living, especially for those who are raising a family.
Yet, there are jobs that are known to pay a higher salary without requiring extreme physical labor, or the requirement of higher education.
Curious to hear what those jobs might be, Redditor ImAMasterBayter asked:
"People Break Down Which Professions Are Completely Overpaid"
Extensive training requirements are not a thing, apparently, with these professions.
Daily Dairy Duty
"I watch milk powder go into a bag and out on a conveyor and get paid $37 an hour."
Eyeing Dirt In Motion
"Mine? I get paid $20.50 a hr to watch dirt go by on a belt all day."
The Handy Man Is Happy To Help
"I am a handy man that charges $50/hr with a 3hr minimum, a couple months ago I got a call for service that consisted of changing 9 smoke detector batteries, 2 light bulbs, and rehanging a picture. I felt bad taking the money but the guy couldn’t have been happier to have that stuff finally done. He asked for my card and is now a very good client."
Words From An Appraiser
"I make about 40 an hour after tax in the US as a real estate appraiser. You just need a college degree and a year of training and there is a huge shortage of appraisers right now."
"Edit because this post blew up: I only perceive this job as being overpaid because I used spent most of my 20's making pizza for minimum wage and imposter syndrome is a thing. Also, OP said he was looking for a possible career, and I felt like my job post was better than a troll post."
"Appraisers are not real estate agents or brokers. I do not buy or sell property."
"I do not, 'look at zillow and copy the number' and I don't just, 'make the number' in valuation. While I agree there are some appraisers who may lie or exaggerate, the same could be said of nearly any job. However, if I were to intentionally try hit some goal and got caught fudging the numbers, I'm looking at permanently losing my license and possible jail time depending on the severity. It's actually pretty common for me to, 'tank a deal' if someone is paying too much. This isn't the wild west of valuation anymore; FIRREA is a thing now. Appraisal reports aren't just 3 pages of photos with a cover page anymore; my typical appraisal is 30-50 pages with long boring typed pages of market data that I type and research myself."
"Let's talk about the appraisal gap. In most of the US, we are experiencing a, 'sellers market' meaning houses are selling for higher than what they normally sell for. A lot of people at this thread are blaming appraisers for driving housing prices up. Let me be perfectly clear about this: appraiser's valuations are based off of past data. That is it; we look at closed sales from the past. Realtors and brokers speculate on future markets, because they are motivated by profit. If anyone is driving this current market trend, it is the people buying properties over listing price, local government/laws willingness to allow foreign investors, the people who are raising rents, and the people who are making big risky developments. The appraisers have little to nothing to do with market perception of value; in my area at least many market participants are paying over 30% of listing price. Trust me when I say these people are not satisfied when my appraised value comes in less than that."
"The hardest part of the job is definitely the occasional angry phone call. Let's look at an example. Say someone lists their house at 100k, and they accept an offer for 150k, or 50% over listing. Well the appraisal is based off of past closed sales. The bank will only finance up to the appraised value. So if the appraisal comes in at 110k, meaning the subject in relation to comparable sales from the past year in the subject neighborhood equate to roughly 110k, they will either need to renegotiate the price, or be willing to put up 40k of their own money."
"In a sellers market, it's often better to accept a deal with better financing than a higher price. Let's say in this situation instead of taking the 150k offer with a mortgage, you take a smaller offer for 140k that is all cash, no financing. Well if there is no financing involved, meaning no bank, than no appraisal is needed."
Landing work in software seems to be like hitting the jackpot of success.
"I’m in software sales, software sales. Coworker got 100k commission on a deal."
"There are an incredible amount of 'analysts' who just 'own' automated excel sheets they received from developer teams."
"Low to mid six figures is common in HCOL areas."
The Successful Client
"I do the tax returns for a guy who paid 20k for demographic research software and made something like 40M over the last 3 years. His costs are almost nothing and admitted he does like 5 hours of work a week on it."
"I got more likes and comments than I thought I would, and wanted to add some more detail. The guy himself is super nice and easy to work with. It's hard not to feel jealous even though I make good money myself. His business and personal returns are super simple so we don't even charge him that much for them."
"The software is something proprietary he paid a third party for, and I don't know the name of that developer. The data output is sold to political campaigns and he's compensated more if the campaign wins. He did have some clients on both sides but now exclusively works on one side of the aisle."
Salaries in the world of academics got a closer inspection.
"University administrators and board members."
A Stark Contrast
"I'm a professor. I love it. But the 'president's office' contains a staff of 5 people with a total payroll of just under $500k/year. Meanwhile, all the PhDs, MFAs, and DMAs who teach all the classes, advise all the students, and serve on all the committees bring home a whopping $50k-$65k/year, dependent on rank, tenure, etc. It's real fun...
"The president of my institution makes a approximately $500k/year and is provided a house on campus alongside reserved parking if he so chooses to use it. He also gets a country club membership. Meanwhile I have to pay $200 to park at the school where I TA and do research, and I get paid maybe 1/20th of what he does. I genuinely do not understand why the f'k the dude who makes six figures doesn't pay for parking, but I do."
"Edit: that should be half a million."
Some of the cushiest jobs that require less time actively toiling away seem to be paying significantly more than the average livable wage offered in the US.
Perhaps the biggest indicator of what that might be was summed up best by Redditor iadasr, who said:
"Whatever you guys are all doing that lets you browse Reddit all day..."