People Share The Most Cringe Worthy Wedding Toasts They've Sat Through[rebelmouse-image 18356954 is_animated_gif=
Weddings are about love, hope and the future. Witnessing true love begin it's journey to forever is a privilege. One of the best parts of the show... I mean experience is the speeches by loved ones. It can be a soap opera waiting to happen. A room full of family, friends, long kept secrets and... an open bar?! What could possibly go wrong?
Redditor danner33 _asked around __What's the worst thing you've heard a speaker at a wedding say? \Brace yourself!_
ELIZABETH? THAT'S PRETTY.
Mother of the groom called the wife 'Elizabeth' in her speech. Elizabeth wasn't her name. Elizabeth was the name of the groom's best friend who happened to be an attractive woman. more attractive than the wife. Elizabeth is who the mother wanted her son to marry. Elizabeth was there, too.
R.I.P....[rebelmouse-image 18356955 is_animated_gif=
The only thing the best man said was "Well, we're all here today for one reason, a good woman died. May she Rest In Peace." About the groom's late (first) wife, who passed away over 10 years ago.
HEY THERE LITTLE BUDDY![rebelmouse-image 18356956 is_animated_gif=
I got extremely smashed for my cousins wedding. When the guys came around with the camera, they filmed me and asked if I had anything to say to the bride or groom.
Well, my drunk butt starts going on about "I can't believe how much you've grown, I remember watching you grow up, and I'm so happy for you."
My cousin is 8 years older than me.
CAN YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?![rebelmouse-image 18346466 is_animated_gif=
The best man getting drunk and asking his current wife for a divorce into the microphone because "She just wont f*g leave me unless i make a big deal of it"
EAT SOME BREAD WITH THE OPEN BAR![rebelmouse-image 18979453 is_animated_gif=
Best man waddles up to podium, visibly too drunk. He opens up his folder with his speech in it. Opens his mouth to say his first words and projectile vomits directly over the podium. He says into the mic, "Whoops that's not what I meant to say." Groomsmen drag him off and away.
MIRROR, MIRROR ON GHE WALL....[rebelmouse-image 18979454 is_animated_gif=
Best man speech: "Back in high school when Bill first told me he liked Jackie I said Jackie!? Ewww! But that's how I knew Bill really liked her for who she was as a person ."
THIS IS ABOUT.... MEEEE!!!![rebelmouse-image 18345392 is_animated_gif=
I was part of the catering crew at a wedding. The ceremony was on the beach and the reception was in the resort. When the bride and groom came in the entire wait staff kind of dropped their jaws because these kids couldn't have been more than like 18-20 years old. Everyone was super young. When the father of the bride made his speech he went on and on about how his daughter always gets what she wants. She had this wedding at the beach and they were going to have a second wedding back home in Texas. Then he goes on to describe every extracurricular activity she ever did and quit. "Cheerleader for 6 months, then she took up dancing for a few weeks. She got really into sewing for a while but quit when she joined Girl Scouts, which she left to chase her dream of being a dog walker..."
Basically his whole speech was calling her a spoiled brat who doesn't stick with anything. So the groom probably felt awesome about that.
TELL IT LIKE IT IS![rebelmouse-image 18979455 is_animated_gif=
I was at a wedding where the grooms grandfather gave a speech. He stepped up to the mic and said, "(Groom), I hope you made the right choice." Then just walked off. Old people waste no time speaking their feelings. Everyone cracked up. The Bride was cool about it.
EVERYBODY... PRETEND YOU'VE GONE DEAF![rebelmouse-image 18979456 is_animated_gif=
Was at a friends wedding, one of my friends stands up to make a speech and it was pretty good until the last sentence when he said "who knows this could've been my wedding if I didn't mess things up with her" everyone was silent.
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT![rebelmouse-image 18354524 is_animated_gif=
"We all know she's been down this road before" from the brides brother at her second wedding.
FINE, YOU WIN... FOR NOW.[rebelmouse-image 18979457 is_animated_gif=
My dad made a speech at my brother's wedding saying that if my brother didn't get to her first he would have married her. It was so awkward and so inappropriate.
THIS IS WHY YOU INVITE YOUR THERAPIST TO THE WEDDING.[rebelmouse-image 18979458 is_animated_gif=
My brother-in-law's dad gave a toast where he went on an on about how his son had flunked out of college bc he couldn't get his life together and was pretty much a loser until he met my sister.
Like, its great that you're happy my sister came into his life, but don't tell a room full of people that you think your son is a loser. Not cool, man
LET'S HOLD OFF ON THE BABY SHOWER.[rebelmouse-image 18979459 is_animated_gif=
"Well this wedding was nice and all, but I'm sure all the married couples here know it's not a real marriage until you start having children!"
The bride was infertile.
FAMILY DINNERS WILL BE "FUNNY"... TO SAY THE LEAST.[rebelmouse-image 18979460 is_animated_gif=
The groom was giving his speech, talking about the bride's father and how her father used to threaten to kill him with a shovel, he then proceed's to lift a gift wrapped shovel, and say 'so I bought you this as my gift to you' cue and angry voice from the family table yelling 'f' you! I'll kill you!'
PICK A NEUTRAL CORNER.[rebelmouse-image 18361943 is_animated_gif=
I didn't witness it myself but my father told me a story once of when he was at a wedding. The groom decided half way through the ceremony that he didn't want to get married. He was then attacked by the father and brother of the bride. After a brawl (and a few bloody noses) he changed his mind and they got married.
FLOWERS AREN'T FOREVER! JUST A FACT.[rebelmouse-image 18979461 is_animated_gif=
My father, at my wedding: "Marriage is like a bouquet of flowers. Over times, it withers and you have to change it."
- He wanted to say that you need to take care of the bouquet and , obviously, but he mis-remembered the quote from another wedding
- My wife and I are separating, so I guess he was right :D
WHAT'S IN A NAME?[rebelmouse-image 18979462 is_animated_gif=
The best man accidentally called the groom's wife by the groom's ex's name during his speech.
MAKE SURE YOUR PASTOR IS SOBER... ALWAYS.[rebelmouse-image 18979463 is_animated_gif=
My dad did this, but worse. He's ordained, so he can marry people. Well he married my sister and during the ceremony called the groom by my sisters ex-boyfriends name THREE times. Well eventually when that ex got out of jail my sister divorced her husband and went back to him. So, I guess my dad can kind of predict the future?
YOU BE YOU! PAST AND ALL![rebelmouse-image 18979464 is_animated_gif=
My buddy's best man distributed pictures of my buddy stark naked in a fountain in Spain, while telling the story about it and about how my buddy was subsequently arrested. My buddy's wife's extremely conservative family was not impressed.
The Mandela effect is when multiple people share the same, incorrect memory.
Its name stems from when paranormal researcher Fiona Broome falsely believed that the future president of South Africa, Nelson Mandela, died in prison in the 1980s.
A false memory she shared with a number of others.
Our memories have been known to deceive us, as we might frequently forget someone's name or one of our numerous online passwords.
But when we share a memory that turns out to be false with many others, convincing ourselves it wasn't the truth can be a very difficult ordeal indeed.
Redditor Mysterious_Boat_1701 was curious to hear people's most unsettling experiences with the Mandela Effect, leading them to ask:
"Which Mandela effect freaks you out the most and why?"
A mysterious gym
"Just had one personally."
"Went to a mall where there was supposedly a gym, asked around and nobody that worked at the mall knew what I was talking about."
"Looked around and couldn't find it."
"Come back a few months later and it’s right there in front of my face, you'd have to be strung out to not notice it."
"idk how or when it just appeared but it freaked me out."- prex320278
A "fruit"ful logo.
"That the fruit of the loom logo never had a cornucopia."
"What’s crazy about that one is that someone emailed the creator of the logo about it and he said even he remembers it having one."- mrcock2·
Less well intentioned than they thought.
"I Mandela effected my whole family once."
"Years ago there was a football player on a rival team that always did a dumb celebration after he got a sack and my family and I always hated it."
"One night after he did it my family started trashing the celebration and I said as a joke 'we are all going to feel terrible when we find out he is doing that celebration as a request from a make-a-wish kid'."
"Fast forward to years later and our team is playing that team again."
"The player got a sack and did the celebration."
"I rolled my eyes and said 'I hate that celebration so much' my mom instantly turned and said 'don't say that, he is doing it for a sick kid'."
"'I actually like it."
"So I was like 'what?'"
"'No there is no sick kid', my whole family then proceeded to argue with me'."
"They all vividly remembered reading articles about it, seeing special report segments before games about it, and other information."
"Some of them even thought they knew the disease the kid had and even extra details about why the kid chose that specific celebration."
"They all had these shared memories that they were sure were true."
"I was floored by all this and insisted none of that was true."
"So we looked it up.'
'No kid like that ever existed.'
"They still have trouble wrapping their heads around this one."
"Turned out human memory is not near as reliable as we think"
"It was American Football and the player was Jared Allen of the Minnesota Vikings and his cattle roping sack celebration."
"This was maybe 10 years ago."- AUSpartan37College Football Win GIF by Michigan State FootballGiphy
His eyesight was better than we thought.
"Mr. Monopoly's monocle."- Additional_Day9903
It's not easy being green.
"I have a personal one that to this day a decade later still destroys my mind."
"I had an old(ish) 2001 dodge neon."
"With BLACK SEATS.'
"I drove this car for years and years, like 80,000 miles.'
'All through college."
"I took work breaks in my car, commuted hours every day total, to college and then the opposite direction to work and back."
"I even lived out of this thing on several occasions.'
'The day I go and trade it in, I'm pulling misc things out of the car at the dealer."
'And the seats are GREEN."
"Not even a little."
'Like very unmistakably GREEN."
"In my black Neon, with black interior, that ALWAYS HAD BLACK SEATS."
"My girlfriend then, wife now, goes oh they've always been green."
"EXCEPT THEY F*CKING WEREN'T DON'T LIE TO ME."
"This is still upsetting to this day..... life is a lie and nothing is real."- ZakuLegionWinona Ryder Omg GIFGiphy
An urban legend was born.
"Not a global one, just a family thing."
"Back in 2002 my grandma had her 60th birthday, my father took us home at 10.00pm, ready for bed."
"We, me and brother, were 12 and 14 at this time."
'All went well."
"Over the years, a story was made up that we went missing after visiting the local playground after dinner at said grandma's birthday party."
"Some neighbors help to search us, the whole train of 'missing children in a smal village'-thing."
"Fun fact: we never went missing."
"Dad brought us home, put on 'Toy Story' on tv and left."
"My brother and I heard first about this in 2015.'
"From different people on different occasions."
"'Ah your one of the missing boys'."
"I first thought they were mocking me for a different event.'
"I got lost, but it was 2013, alcohol inflicted, different story."
"But then they ALL tell us the same story about us going missing."
'And the stories are damn close to 'true' in every story my mum is driving around the same neighbors to different locations to search, old wine yard, old mill etc."
"Sometimes I think I got lost on the most brutal way."
"I was lost and changed this plane of existence with another one."
"It sometimes made me think about my whole life."- tjorben123missing kenny mccormick GIF by South Park Giphy
Memories are a fascinating thing.
They can be changed or altered with even the tiniest suggestion.
And making the truth seem less believable than lies.
One last time. One last meal.
How do you chose a last meal?
Let's hope we never have to find out.
People on death row get that option.
Do they deserve it?
Whose to say?
But they have it.
A steak. A pizza... Burger King.
The food world is their oyster.
Oyster. Also an option.
The menu is endless...
Redditor No-Caterpillar4212 wanted to know what our menu choices would be if we faced the end. They asked:
"You're on a death row, you have one hour left, they ask for your final meal - what is it?"
I'd want 2 hours in a Golden Coral with a bar. Covers it all.
Masailor moon cooking GIFGiphy
"Everything my mom has ever made."
"I want a nice filet mignon, medium rare, a baked potato with everything on it, and a nice Cabernet from a good year - I'm thinking 2135."
"'Sorry, we couldn't get the Cabernet from 2135. So instead of what could have been a great wine request from a more plausible period of time, you get this crappy stuff we sourced from Wal-Mart. Enjoy your meal, I hope that maintaining your sense of humor was worth it."'
"Something badly cooked so I will be sick and want to die sooner and have diarrhea so bad it will be a last revenge!"
"Taco bell it is!"
"If Taco Bell makes you poop a lot, it's a sign that you probably need more fiber in your diet."
The Yuck Factor
"A huge bowl of baked beans, a bowl of shredded wheat, a six egg omelette, and a gallon of apple cider. I'm gonna make it awful for everyone."
"Save yourself the hassle of eating all that, just ask for one pack of sugar free Haribo gummy bears. Should make for an interesting time for the folks watching you die."
"You void your bowels when you die too so that should be lovely."
PerfectFried Chicken Scandal GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Fried chicken with some Fanta."
Fried chicken is on the top of everyone's list!
DetailsInterested GIF by Nick CannonGiphy
"150mg of MDMA. I’m dying happy."
"This should absolutely be allowed. If our leaders insist on the practice of capital punishment then the condemned should be able to ingest any substance they damn please."
"McFlurry. Those machine are always broken. I just bought myself some time."
"Is this like an American thing? I worked at a McDonald's in Denmark once and our machine was never once broken when i was there."
"I saw a video about this once. I'm a little fuzzy on the details but I think it has something to do with the contract that was signed in America. Only one company is allowed to do maintenance on the machines and they basically lock out if it's cleaned incorrectly. It's a crap system."
"Cabbage!! Add some cabbage. I don’t know if an hour if enough to take effect but there was an old coworker on a cabbage diet. Omg she smelled, like it was coming out of her pores. She knew she smelled and kept apologizing and reminding us of the diet."
The OG Always
"Olive Garden. Unlimited soup and breadsticks."
"I saw a sketch once, can't remember who it 2qs from. But a an inmate ordered the all you can eat buffet and had been eating for like 8 years. He's constantly on the toilet and takes micro-naps between bites."
"Unlimited for 1 hour. Cool."
How GoldenGolden Girls Dorothy GIF by HULUGiphy
"If my grandma is still alive her potato soup and cheesecake. Hopefully I'd be able to cook said meal with her one last time."
Let's hope none of us has to make this decision.
Most people have friends they've been close to for most of their lives.
But at the same time, friends evolve, and everyone finds themselves losing touch with any number of people they at one point considered their friends over time.
Most of the time, this isn't intentional, but just simply happens.
On rare occasions though, people might realize that their friends were not exactly who they thought they were, and didn't like who they revealed themselves to be.
Redditor One-Refrigerator69 was curious to hear stories of people who realized their friends were not exactly the nicest people to be around, leading them to ask:
"When was the moment you realized that your friends are assholes?"
Compared to others...
"When I started hanging out with better people."- Darklink326
All it took was getting my life together
"When I quit drinking ‘cos it was killing me."
"There were people I literally saw every single day who just disappeared as if by magic."
"12 years ago this week, as it happens."
"I’m not anti-drink, far from it."
"Some people, me included, just can’t enjoy it without it becoming a problem."
"Everyone is different."- bigdaftgeordie
A little perspective goes a long way.
"After I realized that other people don't sh*t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."- ViscousPlatemanThe Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Lack of respect for other people's things
"I let my friend borrow my ps2 when I went to boot camp."
"When I came back, he said he sold it and gave me $50 I think?"
"This was in 2006."- madmike-86
Lack of mutual respect
"When he does sh*t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, then I do the same back and he gets offended."- Primary-Maybe-2749·
Constantly being taken advantage of.
"They only bothered with me when it suited them."
"I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."- zombi33mjhappy eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy
When they literally revealed themselves to be criminals
"When they robbed me at gunpoint."- Ok_Student8032
When they stopped liking them after a change of situation
"Fourth grade, when my parents economical situation went downhill and suddenly no one invited me to their birthday party."
"Until Seven years later no one had never invited me to their birthday, or to anything at all actually."- Justalittletoserious
Not being able to get a word in...
"When they tell me to shut up when I say anything."- the_golden_cheesela respuesta GIF by Becky GGiphy
Violently playing with emotions
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions, telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc, and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly."
"One night I was crying on the phone cause I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bullsh*t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call, because I didn't get it and I was so upset."
"I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."- Juliemj
It's always sad when our friends disappoint us.
But when our friends proved to be completely different people than we thought they were, it can be devastating.
As the saying goes, one never truly knows who their friends are.
When visiting any foreign country, one should always be familiar with the laws and customs of the land.
After all, what might be generally accepted on your home turf, might be frowned upon, if not illegal, elsewhere.
For that matter, even locals might need a refresher course on what they can and can't do while at home.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear what tourists and locals alike should avoid doing in the USA, leading them to ask:
"In the United States, what should you never do?"
Stay out of the skies!
"Don't fly a drone in Washington, DC."
"The whole D.C. Area is a no fly zone."
"It's a federal offense."
"Just don't do it."- PeytonCarrK
Cops can't be bribed.
"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over."
"I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once.'
"Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."- PeytonCarrK
"Don't pay off the police."
"My dad has friends from several third-world nations where it is common practice to give the police some cash when you are pulled over."
"However, if you try to bribe a police officer here, you'll get into a lot of trouble."- JohnASmiley
Know your rights.
"Everyone, including foreigners, has the right to be silent and have a lawyer when being questioned."
"Don’t say anything."
"Also, even if you speak English fairly well, ask for an interpreter."- WickedLilThing
Enjoy all that nature has to offer... carefully!
"Don't wander off in the national parks."
"It's very real wilderness and you can get lost and die out there."
"This includes going over railings you aren't supposed to, or off trails."
"People have died accidentally falling into a steam geyser that looked like normal water, mauled by animals or left to the elements."- AlphaOhmeganational parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphy
Allow plenty of time!
"Expect consistency at TSA in airports."- WickedLilThing
Some terminology doesn't translate...
"If you’re from England, they’re called cigarettes here."- Yung_Onions
Make sure your license is up to date.
"If you come from a walkable country don’t come here expecting the same."
"There are some areas with good public transportation and bicycle/pedestrian friendly streets but for the most part, especially outside of cities, the areas are designed to accommodate cars more than anything else."
"The reason a lot of Americans drive everywhere is because, depending on where you live, we have no choice."- The_Cars93Dog Driving GIFGiphy
Wait for instructions.
"Get out of your car and approach the cop when being stopped by a cop unless told to."- hildrash
Whether your'e waling down a street in a foreign country, or the street you've lived on for your entire life, it's always wise to be on guard and aware of your surroundings.
Not to mention, obey the law.