I once dated a guy who tried to tell me I couldn't step outside because it was his outside. Like, buddy literally looked at me and stomped, folded his arms, pouted and went "Ugh, this is MY outsiiiiiiide!" The whiny childishness in that moment was a hell of an eye opener, I gotta say.
I expected that behavior from my nephews, or the kids I worked with at the elementary school, but to see a man in his late 30's/early 40's bust that out was ... well... I almost lied to you guys right there and said it was shocking. It totally wasn't. I had experienced a few doozies with this dude already. It was pretty public knowledge he was a very tall toddler. A few of his friends warned me, but I'm stubborn. I think that moment made me suddenly realize they warned me for a reason.
You know the way lightbulbs are dim and shaky when they're not screwed all the way in, but as soon as you do it immediately is a bright, strong light? Yeah. I very suddenly and clearly realized things were never going to work out. That tantrum made sure I was illuminated AF. Lightbulb.
One Reddit user asked:
What's the most childish thing you've seen a grown adult do?
and there are so many "this is MY outside" moments here that it's honestly a wonder to me how more people don't get kicked in the shins. I'm going to go ahead and slap a "terrible parents" note on this one. Because WOW terrible parents. Some of these have been edited for clarity or language, but I made sure to leave all the childishness on full display. Enjoy the tantrums.
Baby Candy
At one theater I worked at, we had a large Tub of popcorn, large drink combo deal in which you'd get a free bag of skittles and we had to push it on every customer. One day I get an older customer who gets the combo but then suddenly explodes at me because, as he put it, the FREE bag of skittles he received was too small. He kept referring it as a "baby candy".
Manager comes right over and intervenes. Customer starts yelling about "This is a baby's candy....do I look like a baby to you?!", which would've been a prime opportunity for me to put in my two cents but I needed to have a job, so I kept it to myself. Irate customer then pulled the "I'm going to tell everyone I know not to come here and buy your candy" bit.
Again, the candy was FREE.
Baguettes
A lot of stories of these responses are people throwing tantrums, but honestly my first thought was of my dad and my partner. They didn't throw tantrums - they were childish together in a sweet way. The second or third time they met, they ended up having an incredibly convoluted sword fight with baguettes.
Ariel Is Absolutely A Princess, BTW
GiphyI worked in the Walmart bakery one summer during college. A woman called up requesting a Disney princess cake be made for her daughter's birthday that day - it didn't matter what princess, just any Disney princess. We made a little mermaid cake with Ariel on it. Husband comes to pick it up, pays for it, it's fine. About 10 minutes later a very belligerent and angry wife (overweight, appears mid 40's maybe) comes back with the cake screaming at everyone in the bakery "THIS IS NOT A DISNEY PRINCESS!"
She's hysterical, throwing a tantrum and harassing everyone in the bakery about how it's not the cake she wanted, not the princess she wanted. "ARIEL IS NOT A PRINCESS" The manager of the Walmart ends up getting involved as this woman is making a HUGE scene and we can't calm her down. She ends up getting that cake for free as well as another Disney princess cake made to her liking.
Participation
My 25 year old brother likes to do this thing where he screams at you to shut up, then gets upset when you aren't "participating in the conversation."
Burger King Breakfast
Pissed that the Burger King was still on the breakfast menu for the next seven minutes, the uninsured driver threw her illegally-"borrowed" boyfriend's truck in reverse (to hell with her toddler sitting unbuckled on the passenger's lap) and slammed the gas to exit the drive-thru
...and crashed right onto the hood of my car WTF?!
She was not an insured driver, but her boyfriend was really great about it and HIS insurance paid in full. The kid did get a little booboo. I'm presuming he's her EX boyfriend now considering she stole and crashed his car over a Whopper or something.
Little League Lightning Storm
I remember back when I was 10 I played baseball. I had been doing so for years at that point. Our team that year was the best in our league at the time. My dad was the team manager and it was a great time doing it every year before we stopped.
Well at the end of the year we had a double elimination tournament between every team. It came down to it and both my team and the last remaining team were both undefeated so we had to play two games to get a winner. The first game we fucking smoked them. The score was like 9-1.
A couple days later we're into the second game and it's looking like the same outcome. The manager of the other team is getting worked up I guess and says he sees lightning out of nowhere. Since it was policy to call off the game due to lightning cause of safety and all we waited it out for 10 minutes to see what happened. It was nothing so my dad goes out to see if we can keep going with the game and the other teams manager storms out and is calling him a piece of shit, asshole, etc. after we start back up he says he sees some again and I guess some of the other kids parents on that team went with it. They ended up calling the game off and both teams were declared co champions. F*ck you Matt we would've won that and you know it.
Menstrual Photo Op
When I didn't want to be in a photo because my first period bled through my white shorts. My dad threw a massive temper tantrum and was red in the face screaming and shouting, drawing a huge crowd and holding up the queue for the photo spot. I, the child, had to tell him he was making a scene and holding up the line.
- Raichu7
Abandoned At A Golf Course
GiphyMy mom, step-dad, and I went to a local par 3 golf course. For those that don't know this is a much smaller golf course where all of the holes can be reached in one or two hits. So kind of between mini golf and actual golf. Either way, we are playing and my step-dad is playing poorly. He had brought out his $400 full set of clubs and my mom and I were both using the clubs provided at the course.
My mom is winning by a stroke or two and hits the ball and it ends up on the ground an inch from a tree. She nudges it a little bit away so that she doesn't hit the tree and my step-dad loses it. Like really goes nuts about how she was cheating.
He ends up throwing his ball into the woods and walking to the car. My mom and I continued playing because, f--- that, we were still having fun. Next thing we know we hear an engine revving and watch our ride do a burn out out of the parking lot. We had to call my biological dad and have him pick us up and drop us off at my step-dads place because he had gone home and wouldn't answer the phone.
- ReccoR2
May As Well Be Dead
My father used to break into noisy, dramatic tears when he figured he wasn't getting his way or getting enough attention.
If, during this performance, you didn't immediately fawn all over him, dripping apologies and praise, he'd storm off in a huff and threaten suicide because 'no one loved him so he may as well be dead.'
This was at least a weekly occurrence growing up. Ah, the joys of living with an emotionally stunted narcissist.
I finally stood up to his manipulation when I was 12 or 13. He stopped trying that crap with me and now we have a decent, although somewhat distant, relationship. Pretty sure he still does it with his other kids and current partner though.
The Bridezilla Show
One of my friends worked at a pastry chef at a bakery when she was first starting up. She had a bridezilla come in to order a wedding cake and they told her that they were booked solid that week and couldn't accommodate, but could give the order to another shop that might be able to help. She started to complain and then yell and scream and literally fell to the floor, kicking and screaming.
While this was going on, one of the employees started to load another wedding cake onto a cart to take out to the van. Bridezilla jumped up and pushed the cake off the cart and then stepped on it. She then stormed out and sped off.
The owner had to call the wedding party and explain that their extravagant cake was just destroyed by a crazy bridezilla. She had another cake that would serve everyone, but it wouldn't be decorated as nicely. Luckily, they were okay with it... With the stipulation that they got a copy of the camera footage.
She made a copy of the footage and delivered it along with the replacement cake. The couple showed it at the reception and it was a huge hit at the party.
- GRZMNKY
McManager
When I used to work in fast food, I had a manager who was a bit older than me, early to mid 20s. Anyway, I was taking a customer's order in drive thru, and she started repeating everything I said. Literally what I would expect of a 7 year old. I asked her at least 10 times to stop because she was being unbearably childish, and still she wouldn't listen. I couldn't hear people's orders over her parroting in my ear. Finally I had to get a different manager, and just felt dumb having to complain about another manager acting that way.
The Piano Tantrum
GiphyMany, many things my uncle does. The most recent reason that he's not speaking to my parents (my mum is his sister) is that he wanted their help moving a piano.
He'd ordered this piano and was waiting to hear when it would be delivered. I think he'd vaguely mentioned it to my parents. Anyway, he got the delivery date, rang up my dad and straight up just told him that my dad would be helping to move this piano.
My dad: 'Okay, that should be fine. Let me just check my diary to confirm... Oh no, turns out my car is having work done that day so I won't be able to get there and [your sister] will be at work. Sorry.'
My uncle: *screams profanities and insists that we have never helped him and no one ever helps him and the whole world is against him* *hangs up the phone* *doesn't speak to us for months*
MY Vacation
We are passholders at Disney World, so I have seen a lot of sh*t over the years. Grown women pushing their small kids out of the way to meet a character is always in the top 10.
The best fit I've ever seen was a grown ass man who had the audacity to say "Why are there so many people here? This is MY vacation." in line at Guest Relations. Dude....it is a theme park open year-round to the masses. You will never be the only person there. When he was leaving the building, my dad went to him:
"Sorry we and everyone else here ruined your vacation."
He didn't say anything back, just gave my dad a death-glare.
- mah009
Daddy Issues
My 51 year old father cried about me 'not wanting to see him'
My dad separated from my mum when I was 2 and he now lives across state. He comes to town once in a blue moon and has only once given me more than 2 days of warning. He claims that's my fault because I don't message him every day for updates. One year, he showed up on my birthday with no warning. I already had plans, but I was willing to make time for him to come meet me. I just didn't have space in my schedule to go meet him. He refused to come to meet me instead of vice versa
Now, when I say cry I mean a full blown tantrum with angry texts like: 'well I guess you don't love me then' and 'my own daughter cant be bothered to see me when I drive all this way'. He then proceeded to go to the bar and cry to his friends about how his own daughter doesn't love him.
I work 2 jobs now and I have very little free time. It's Australia Day tomorrow and I promised my friend I'd spend it with her and her family after my shift at work. My dad messaged me 4 hours ago saying he was in town for just tomorrow and wanted to see me. I now have to completely reschedule, or risk a repeat of his tantrums. So, nothing has changed.
- Fiyachan
Bag Of Clothes
I couldn't do a return for a customer because she didn't have the receipt. After much back and forth and speaking to the manager she got so angry that she threw her bag of clothes at us and purposefully knocked over a couple of stacks of shirts while storming out of the store.
She came back 30 minutes later to get that bag of clothes back.
A Couple Licks
My husband and I have a few dogs. One tends to be less affectionate than the others. He literally put himself in a bad mood because the less affectionate dog gave me a couple of licks when we were all playing together, but not my husband...
Good Golly Miss Molly
I worked for restaurant that was 50's themed. They had the awesome old school coca cola plaques... the whole shebang so you can clearly see what you're walking into. Dude comes in with his wife they order, pick up their food and sit down. 5-10 minutes later dude is up at the counter pissed demanding that the music station be changed and play Christian rock because the music is offensive. Good Golly Miss Molly was playing.
We explain that we have no control over it and that the music is meant to play into the whole 1950's theme, and that the only way to have the song change is to put money in the jukebox and pick songs. Well he goes on a profanity-filled rant, claiming that were excluding him because of religious beliefs that he's calling the city. Then he goes over to the table, dumps all his food on it, smears it around with his hands and leaves.
What I found hilarious was that his face was covered in gang tattoos, he had "die motherf*cker" and a gun tattooed on his neck. His wife had a big cross tattooed in between her breasts. I normally wouldn't know this, but she was wearing a tube top 3 sizes too small so everyone could see everything. The south side of Chicago can be really classy sometimes.
Yahtzee
GiphyMy mother kicked my kids out of her house on Christmas day because my 7 year old disagreed about the rules of Yahtzee.
"It"
I had a friend at University with an incredibly jealous girlfriend. I kind of understood because he and I did date for a very short time, but it was long over. His girlfriend was really petty about it, though. She wouldnt let him use my name. He had to call me "It" when she was nearby.
People Confess Dreaming Of Doing Something All Their Life Then Hating It Once They Did It
Reddit user buzzkill007 asked: 'Have you ever dreamed of doing something your whole life only to find out, once you did it, that you hated it? What was it?'
They say "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
You know, the notion that we shouldn't fear things we haven't tried and that getting out of our comfort zone could lead to a wealth of wonderful discoveries.
Most times, fear isn't preventing us from trying the things we've been wanting to try–whether it's a new career or a hobby. We just haven't gotten there yet.
But take note, it's not always what it seems once we get there.
Curious to hear from strangers, Redditor buzzkill007 asked:
"Have you ever dreamed of doing something your whole life only to find out, once you did it, that you hated it? What was it?"
The stress level in medical professions is not for everyone.
Helping Saving Lives
"Being an EMT"
"I had planned on it being my lifelong career since middle school. I loved the medical field and wanted to save lives but knew I wouldn’t have the stamina to get through medical school."
"I got into training as soon as I graduated high school and I was top of my class in the educational sense, but as soon as I started doing ride-alongs everything just kind of fell apart on me."
"I didn’t fit in well with the firefighters, which sounds stupid but I think I really needed that brotherhood if I was going to survive in that field. The real problem, however, was my empathy. I knew quickly that I would not be able to see people on their worst days everyday. I could deal with broken bones and blood, but I hadn’t prepared myself for the screams."
"I work for a museum now lol."
– Livingroxets
The Young Widower
"I met quite a few paramedics whilst doing work in the vaccination centres last year. One of them had recently quit, and I asked why. She told me she had been on a call out with a young couple and a baby. The mum had a headache, and the baby was crying in bed so the dad went to soothe the baby whilst the mum laid down on the sofa. When the dad came back to the mum, she had passed away. I wasn't told what she died of but the girl telling the story was getting upset over it. She hated the idea of this child no longer having a mother, and the dad having lost his partner with absolutely no warning, and so young. So it wasn't even a gruesome one, just an upsetting one that made her give it up."
– Isgortio
The Guilt Complex
"My brother was an EMT because he wanted to help people. Started to blame himself for the people he couldn’t save, we almost lost him. Thank God he had some pretty stellar friends who went looking for him at 2am. EMTs are a different breed man, I don’t know how they do it."
– Lonely-Ninja
The Thing About Empathy
"The empathy thing is very interesting. My medical friends and family would always tell me I'd be great in the medical field because I'm so caring. That is precisely why I would be awful in the medical field. I hate seeing people suffering."
– Tim3-Rainbow
At first, these seemed desirable until they learned it was anything but.
Weightlessness
"I couldn't wait to 'pull g's' in an airplane. Then I did. It sucked."
– papafrog
"I cannot stress enough how fast pulling Gs gets old. The first couple turns are fun but then it’s like, 'I don’t feel good.' Fun times getting picked up from training sites by helicopter pilots on flight training and you’re just looking out the side of the Blackhawk at nothing but ground and you’re like are helicopters supposed to turn like this?"
– anon
Career As An Animator
"All my life I wanted to make cartoons."
"I fought with tooth and nail to reach the top."
"Then I interned for an old studio in Burbank specializing in cartoons about a certain yellow family."
"Then, after college, I became a mechanic and never looked back."
– DreyfusBlue
Formerly Aspiring Craftsman
"Blacksmithing. I watched a ton of blacksmithing content on youtube, got SUPER intrigued and wanted to build my own setup in the backyard. My Father talked me into trying a class before jumping in headfirst, and I am glad I did. My Father and I were the only two in the class that day so we got all the attention from the instructor which was awesome, he really helped us both perfect our techniques and corrected any mistakes quickly so we didn't form any bad habits, it was the best instructor I have ever had for anything, guy was an amazing teacher. He even offered to let us stay for a couple more hours to make another piece, which we took him up on. After all that, an amazing class, 3 metal pieces that I worked on and created by myself by hand, I walked away... dissatisfied. I think metal as a medium just felt very hard to work with, everything is super hot and dangerous, and I just didn't see myself wanting to ever do it again. I really recommend taking a class to try something out rather than spending time and money to build your own setup for something you may hate. I spent 75$ to save thousands."
– Roadronner
It Takes A Different Breed To Lead
"Being the boss of people. Boss is a title, but being an effective leader of people is an emotionally draining, often thankless roller coaster."
– DingbatDarrel
People who tried their hand at becoming lawyers found it to be extremely unpleasant.
Fighting For The Environment
"'I want to be an environmental lawyer when I grow up! I'm going to help save the world!' F'king kill me dude, I don't even have the energy to save myself anymore."
–Superseriouslyguys
"Interned at an environmental nonprofit over the summer while I was in law school."
"It was the worst parts of legal work and the worst parts of nonprofit work all mashed together."
"Edit: Ok this is getting a lot more eyeballs than I expected so I feel the need to clarify that it actually was not as bad as other non-legal nonprofits I'd later work at in terms of toxicity but it was intensely difficult work with very long hours and a lot of pressure - all of which made me realize I prob wasn't cut out for law much less environmental law."
– krylonultraflat
My Name Is Not Sharon
"I remember a girl in law school who had a similar experience, like they just had her getting coffee and cleaning out the office fridge all summer. Then at the end of the internship one of the directors of the program was like 'oh Sharon, you were our best intern this summer!' Susan. Her name was Susan."
– Superseriouslyguys
The Alternative
"Fellow lawyer here."
"Dip out and get yourself a cushy government job, easy 9-5 work hours, never take work home, plus you get a pension after it's all said and done."
"And then start living life outside of work. Focus on yourself."
– Pitiful-Reaction9534
Life is about taking chances.
You never know what you're capable of until you try different experiences.
And even if you don't succeed or found that whatever it is you tried wasn't for you, it's all a learning experience about how you deal in stressful or unfamiliar situations and overcome them.
The key is in finding your strengths, which you'll never find unless you put yourself out there and do the work. If it's not for you, something else will present itself.
At least that's what I'd like to think.
Everyone has a memory from their school days that always makes them laugh when it crosses their minds.
Be it someone passing gas at a very inopportune moment, an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction during a school play or sporting event, or, perhaps most of all, a spectacular prank.
Of course, while every single member of the student body likely finds these incidents and occurrences hilarious, the faculty and staff often find little to nothing funny about them.
Mainly because they often have to deal with the consequences and pandemonium caused by these dubiously hilarious events.
"What funny thing happened at school that caused utter chaos for the faculty?
Holy Sh*t
"2000"
"Teachers trying to stop kids smoking in the bathroom so they locked the bathroom doors."
"Kid took a sh*t on the carpet in front of the bathroom door, like right in the main hallway."
"Chaos ensued."
"Today, that kid is a pastor."
"Lol."- Jimmycapped
Cheaters Almost Always Get Caught
"It wasn't funny, but when I was in high school, there were two teachers in the school that were married."
"I was sitting in the husbands classroom waiting for the class to start when another kid ran in and said 'Hey Mr B, your wife is making out with Mr H in his classroom'."
"Turns out they'd locked the door, but about a dozen kids were looking through the skinny door window watching them."
"The guy didn't even say anything."
"He just looked crushed."
"He just walked out of the class and never came back...I mean we never saw him again."
"Turned out his wife and the other teacher had been having an affair and he'd might have suspected, but having it confirmed by one of his students in front of the whole class was too much."
"The school didn't discipline the two cheaters, but the students sure as hell did."
"Both of them had to listen to 'cheating' puns and jokes every day."
"'Hey Ms S, I'm going to copy off Joe's test, cheating is cool with you right?'" kind of stuff."
"Neither came back the next school year."- McFeely_Smackup
Cartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphyWhere He Went, Music Followed...
"Hired a mariachi band to follow around our principal for our senior class prank."
"It was hysterical."- JulieFromJerz
Complicated Role Model...
"In middle school, a staff (not a teacher, he watched lunch and was a basketball coach for a high school) got arrested for selling weed to the kids."
"He won an award for 'best staff of the year' that year which had an entire yearbook page dedicated to him, but he was arrested after the yearbooks were printed."
"They had to go into each yearbook and cover that page with purple duct tape (to match the color scheme)."
"Prior to him being arrested, I was getting bullied horribly."
"None of the teachers or other staff could get the kids to stop, but once the staff who was arrested said 'leave Spencer alone'," the kids would immediately stop."
"I later realized he was threatening to take their weed away if they bullied me, and that's why he was the only one who could get them to stop."- Spencer2091
Funny Might Not Be The Best Word...
"Someone had a baby in the bathroom stall."
"I wish I was making this up."- JacobCStowe
baby GIFGiphyLegs Are Legs!
"They banned shorts because they were not professional enough."
"So all the boys wore skirts as a protest."- Haboobalub·
Or Did They Just Have A Time-Turner In Their Pocket?
"One of the classrooms at my school was a prefab hut, and over time it developed a hole in the floor at the back of the room (developed, or was helped, unsure)."
"Every lesson I had in there for a good few months before they fixed it, someone would arrive, greet the teacher, and sit down."
"Then after a few minutes they'd arrive again, straight-faced 'sorry I'm late sir', and sit down."
"Then again a few minutes later they'd arrive again... etc."
"The fun part was watching the teacher playing the memory game of figuring out who'd arrived too many times."- telnorp
Depends On How Short We're Talking...
"Freshman year one of my friends wanted to me run for student body vice president as a part of his counterculture party."
"He insisted on having me be his VP, to the point where he got all the necessary signatures for me to run without my knowledge and just went ahead and signed me up."
"We had to write speeches to get other kids to vote for us, and those speeches had to be approved beforehand by some faculty member."
"So I wrote a very disparaging speech about the validity and purpose of student council, laden with curse words and personal attacks towards our administration, thinking it would get screened ahead of time and they would disqualify me."
"I guess no one actually read my speech and just rubber stamped it, so on that morning they pulled me aside and handed me a printed out copy of my speech."
homer simpson drinking GIFGiphy"I went ahead and gave my speech and I guess none of the faculty knew what to do because no one stopped me but they were clearly panicked and furious."
"I got a lot of laughs and applause."
"I assume it was too late to print all new ballots because when we went to vote my name was crossed out with a sharpie."
"I also got suspended for 5 days despite my explanation that I did not want to run and submitted my speech for approval, on time, fully intending to be disqualified."
"I was also told by some older student council members involved in the ballot counting process that I won by a landslide due to write ins and people just circling the black line of my name, but I have no idea if that's true."- pieonthedonkey
Ladders Must Have Been In Short Supply...
"A student got ahold of a LOT of explicit pictures and taped them to all of the school clocks, suspended from the ceiling. None of the teachers were tall enough to pull them down, so they were up there for a bit."- Unlikely_Use
A Hard One To Erase From Memory (...Pun Intended...)
"My wife is a school teacher, and a couple years ago the senior prank was them sticking a bunch of those suction cupsex toys to the windows."
"And let's just say that the school has a lot of windows."
"It was the brain child of some douche bag architect who thought building a high school with no walls just windows was good idea."
"Any way, they managed to get the largest of the them stuck to the 3rd floor outside window, of one of the classrooms."
"So the male assistant principal gets a ladder, but its not quite long enough so he's teetering on the top of this ladder trying knock a 2-foot long purple d*ck of the side of the school with a broom handle."
"She said he was beating that thing as it owed him money, and it was just bouncing around, flopping and banging against the window."
"While everyone watched through tears of laughter."- Nutesatchel
What The Hell Comedy GIF by Paramount+GiphyDid ANYONE Find This Funny?
"Someone in my high school sent letters to everyone they deemed 'virgins' parents saying their son or daughter was tested for and found to have an STD by the school nurse and that they needed to come to the school immediately."
"Used the school letterhead etc so they got charged with mail fraud lol."- B__Malz
When In Doubt, Follow Moses...
"In my HS, there was a solid week where somebody set a trash can on fire daily."
"Nobody knew if it was one person or a group of people, but I think after day five everyone got pretty tired of having to stand out in the football field while the fire department inspected the area.
"It stopped after that week with no explanation and no word from the culprit."
"Second best was definitely the senior prank performed by the class two years ahead of mine."
"They bought crickets from our local PetSmart and set them free on our school’s main staircase."
"It took forever to get rid of them and I can remember sitting in class and hearing faint chirping coming from seemingly every direction."- Livingroxets
"A boy in my class brought some locusts in to show and tell."
"They escaped and got into the air vents."
"This was just before summer break."
"School came back to a full-on plague."- Big_Explanation_8803
Bugs Insects GIF by The GuardianGiphyNeedless to say, one has little doubt that any of the planned occurrences in these stories were ever meant to be found funny by the faculty or staff.
Even so, one also has little doubt that they've all looked back and laughed about some of these with the passage of time...
I embarrass myself in the search for love constantly.
Or in the need to try and impress.
I can't help it.
And I know I'm not alone.
Every time I come face to face with a crush or someone that intimidates me, all of my wit, wisdom, and self-respect flies out the window. Suddenly words are just sounds that make no sense. I also laugh at the most inappropriate moments.
Trying to impress someone should be easy.
Well, maybe not easy, it can be a challenge but it shouldn't land anyone in the ER.
When did trying to gain someone's attention become a sporting event?
Thank God for Xanax.
I have found a little calm goes a long way.
A deleted Redditor wanted everyone to share about the times we've been left red in the face, so they asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you've ever said to someone you were trying to impress?"
I once fell off of a treadmill trying to flirt with my high school crush.
I was running way too fast to show my "stamina."
I destroyed my Discman and my dignity.
Oh My
Licking Ice Cream GIF by MLB NetworkGiphy"Crush in High School worked at an ice cream store. When she asked for toppings I said 'I’ll have Reese’s penises please.' The store laughed."
WhaleyWino235
Tom Morello's Hometown
"I worked at the local guitar shop in town in high school. It happens to be Tom Morello's hometown (of rage against the machine fame). The owner used to babysit him when Tom was little and he'd always stop by to say hi when they were in town on tour. This was around the time of the evil empire and they were at peak popularity."
"He came in one day while I was there and asked if John was in. 16-year-old me just looked at him and asked 'Do you know who you are?!?!' He just laughed and said yes. Humiliated I went and got the owner and then tried to hide and die from shame."
matthewmichael
Echoes
"I was around 15, going through the receiving line at my cousin's wedding. This was my first 'grown-up' wedding and I wanted to act it. As I hugged my cousin I blurted out 'I'm so excited to be here! The last wedding I was at was your first one!'"
"That has echoed in my head for 30 years."
"E: This was my cousin's second wedding. The groom's first."
LGBecca
No Tip
"A server trying to get a tip: I went to clear a shared dessert dish from a table of 4 - mom, dad, and 2 sons. One son jokingly pointed at his mom and said 'She ate most of it.' I, the braindead server who was/is terrible at banter, but trying to get a tip said the first reply that came to mind: 'I can tell.' No idea why. Terrible reaction, as expected. No tip."
1nd1anaCroft
Snap
Buffering Back To School GIF by Rodney DangerfieldGiphy"I can do a Kickflip, then proceed to elegantly snap my ankle."
Mrlightyboy
Why do we risk our lives?
Have we really lost the ability for a simple flirt?
Where?
The Beautiful Game Thumbs Up GIF by World CupGiphy"I did once (truthfully) tell a girl from Austria that I didn't know what the capital of Austria was - which wouldn't be too embarrassing, except that I was wearing a t-shirt which said 'Vienna Rocks' on it at the time. She thought I was joking."
Ok-Fudge8848
The Red Lights
"I told everyone I knew about my plan to go on a trip to Europe. I had planned to tour different countries by train with a special visit to… Amsterdam. My intention was to visit a marijuana cafe, but in my ignorance, I thought that these were all located in the red lights district. I would tell people I was going to the red light district and they would understandably pause and ask me… why?"
"Trying to be sly I would say something like 'to do what the locals do of course,' believing that this meant smoking marijuana in a cafe… I was actually telling everyone I knew, friends, teachers, relatives, coworkers, that I was going to cross the Atlantic so I could hire a sex worker."
Virtual-Elderberry31
How Far You'll Go
"Was on an airplane years ago with my girlfriend and her parents. My girlfriend couldn't get a seat next to me and sat directly behind me. During the flight, I thought I would surprise her and reached my hand back onto her knee. Slowly I kept extending it up her thigh until I heard giggling."
"Looked behind through the seats and saw that my hand was on the leg of the guy next to her. He saw my face and said, 'I just wanted to see how far you'd go.' Of course, my girlfriend was in on it and started laughing along with the rest of the row. Was so embarrassed."
Ladon1949
Not Cool
"I was skating at a school and my girlfriend calls me and says she wants to hang out. Tell her I'm skating but she can meet me at the school and we can figure out what we're doing from there. She shows up looking cute AF, so clearly I need to impress her. There was a little two stair where she was waiting for me and I went to do a BS 180 down it. Instead of just landing normally, I thought I would look more bada** if I stomped the landing."
"As I landed my lead foot came off the board and I landed with all of my weight on that ankle... Immediate excruciating pain ensued and I'm on the ground rolling in pain. My sad attempt to look cool skating had turned into one of the worst injuries I received and an extremely embarrassing moment. The pain was so bad I could barely drive my car back home because I severely injured my right ankle."
"Didn't break my ankle but I did have a severe ankle sprain. I've had surgery on it and it's much better, but it just has never been quite the same. As far as the girlfriend goes, we're still together and have been married for 10 years."
DJAXL
Listen Again
Go Away Beyonce GIFGiphy"I told a musician I like that I liked a specific song. It was not his song."
Naca-7
We are so silly.
Why can't we just say 'Hey' and get on with it?
Such drama.
We've all had to learn something the hard way or at a super inconvenient time.
But because we're always learning new things, of course there will have to be some things that we learn later, rather than sooner, no matter the consequences of learning it too late.
Redditor IndianaC0NES asked:
"What's an important lesson you learned the hard way?"
Money Management
"Do not spend like there’s no tomorrow. Tomorrow will come and it won’t be pretty."
- cpu5555
Permanent Partner
"Never have kids with someone you don’t want in your life forever."
- pntszrn74
Make It Official First
"Money doesn’t exist until the deposit hits your bank account, and business promises mean nothing until legal documents are signed."
- FriscoFrank98
Know Your Limits
"Learn when to stop drinking and call it a night."
- Gadrilor
Trust Your Gut
"If something feels wrong, it likely is."
- drzed47
"This is closely related to, 'If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.'"
- remag_nation
The Importance of Dental Health
"Dental care is expensive!! Never be lazy with oral hygiene."
- the_rice_life
"And dental problems are EXTREMELY PAINFUL."
- Next-Confection3261
Be Careful Who You Share It With
"Not everyone has the same heart as you do."
- Accomplished_Hat2770
Be Wary of Bullies
"Not everyone is a good person. Some people actually want to see you fail. Stop oversharing. These nasty people will use it against you."
- Ko_ogs72
"My brain still can't comprehend someone being a d**k for no reason."
- Arny520
Recognize the Red Flags
"Don't let love blind your eyes, red flags are real."
- Fxk07
"And: No one is worth sacrificing your self-respect for."
- Waltzing_Methusalah
"It sucks when you’re halfway to learning this lesson before you even realize it. It’s so important to know your boundaries and respect yourself with the diligence required to walk away from people creating toxic patterns in your life, even or ESPECIALLY before you have the full picture to work with."
"We all know it’s heading south long before these things have terrible consequences on oneself/life. At a certain point, it’s too late to escape unscathed. Self-respect and what amounts to the ‘sunken-cost dilemma’ NEVER go together in relationships."
- brashbabu
The Likelihood of Success
"It's possible to make no wrong moves and still lose."
- Tropicsenshi
Family Ties
"Your family doesn't always have your best interest at heart."
- OhMyGodBearIsDriving
"Sometimes, family are just a bunch of bad people who are biologically related to you."
- noorofmyeye24
Wear the Helmet
"WEAR A HELMET."
"It's an easy safety precaution you can take when rollerblading, biking, skateboarding, scootering, etc. And it can literally save your life."
"I went all through the 90s thinking helmets were lame... I Fell while rollerblading in my 30s and got a subdural hematoma. I wasn't going fast but the momentum from how I fell just slammed my head into the concrete."
"HELMETS SAVE LIVES."
- Shortiie5115
Proper Eye and Ear Care
"Here is my PSA about eye protection. You only have two eyes and many injuries are not repairable. I have a completely s**t vision in one eye because of an injury and I'm constantly paranoid about something happening to the good eye. Wear safety glasses folk, it's important."
- ipsok
"And ear protection. You do not want Tinnitus."
- farmerofstrawberries
Love Your Loved Ones
"Always take a chance to tell someone you love them. To give them a hug."
"Never end a conversation with a harsh word."
"Both for the same reason. You never know if you will get to see that person alive again."
"I learned both those lessons from each of my parents."
- Edgezg
Self Advocate
"Stand up for yourself. If you get in the habit of letting people walk all over you, it'll be extremely difficult to reverse. Even if you're not confident, just fake it till you make it!"
- MISTERDIEABETIC
As humans, we will never stop learning and taking in new information, but there are, of course, some things that we wish we could have learned sooner or through an easier path.
But at least now that we've learned these lessons, we can share them with others, so they might not have to take the same path we did.