I once dated a guy who tried to tell me I couldn't step outside because it was his outside. Like, buddy literally looked at me and stomped, folded his arms, pouted and went "Ugh, this is MY outsiiiiiiide!" The whiny childishness in that moment was a hell of an eye opener, I gotta say.
I expected that behavior from my nephews, or the kids I worked with at the elementary school, but to see a man in his late 30's/early 40's bust that out was ... well... I almost lied to you guys right there and said it was shocking. It totally wasn't. I had experienced a few doozies with this dude already. It was pretty public knowledge he was a very tall toddler. A few of his friends warned me, but I'm stubborn. I think that moment made me suddenly realize they warned me for a reason.
You know the way lightbulbs are dim and shaky when they're not screwed all the way in, but as soon as you do it immediately is a bright, strong light? Yeah. I very suddenly and clearly realized things were never going to work out. That tantrum made sure I was illuminated AF. Lightbulb.
One Reddit user asked:
and there are so many "this is MY outside" moments here that it's honestly a wonder to me how more people don't get kicked in the shins. I'm going to go ahead and slap a "terrible parents" note on this one. Because WOW terrible parents. Some of these have been edited for clarity or language, but I made sure to leave all the childishness on full display. Enjoy the tantrums.
At one theater I worked at, we had a large Tub of popcorn, large drink combo deal in which you'd get a free bag of skittles and we had to push it on every customer. One day I get an older customer who gets the combo but then suddenly explodes at me because, as he put it, the FREE bag of skittles he received was too small. He kept referring it as a "baby candy".
Manager comes right over and intervenes. Customer starts yelling about "This is a baby's candy....do I look like a baby to you?!", which would've been a prime opportunity for me to put in my two cents but I needed to have a job, so I kept it to myself. Irate customer then pulled the "I'm going to tell everyone I know not to come here and buy your candy" bit.
Again, the candy was FREE.
A lot of stories of these responses are people throwing tantrums, but honestly my first thought was of my dad and my partner. They didn't throw tantrums - they were childish together in a sweet way. The second or third time they met, they ended up having an incredibly convoluted sword fight with baguettes.
Ariel Is Absolutely A Princess, BTWGiphy
I worked in the Walmart bakery one summer during college. A woman called up requesting a Disney princess cake be made for her daughter's birthday that day - it didn't matter what princess, just any Disney princess. We made a little mermaid cake with Ariel on it. Husband comes to pick it up, pays for it, it's fine. About 10 minutes later a very belligerent and angry wife (overweight, appears mid 40's maybe) comes back with the cake screaming at everyone in the bakery "THIS IS NOT A DISNEY PRINCESS!"
She's hysterical, throwing a tantrum and harassing everyone in the bakery about how it's not the cake she wanted, not the princess she wanted. "ARIEL IS NOT A PRINCESS" The manager of the Walmart ends up getting involved as this woman is making a HUGE scene and we can't calm her down. She ends up getting that cake for free as well as another Disney princess cake made to her liking.
My 25 year old brother likes to do this thing where he screams at you to shut up, then gets upset when you aren't "participating in the conversation."
Burger King Breakfast
Pissed that the Burger King was still on the breakfast menu for the next seven minutes, the uninsured driver threw her illegally-"borrowed" boyfriend's truck in reverse (to hell with her toddler sitting unbuckled on the passenger's lap) and slammed the gas to exit the drive-thru
...and crashed right onto the hood of my car WTF?!
She was not an insured driver, but her boyfriend was really great about it and HIS insurance paid in full. The kid did get a little booboo. I'm presuming he's her EX boyfriend now considering she stole and crashed his car over a Whopper or something.
Little League Lightning Storm
I remember back when I was 10 I played baseball. I had been doing so for years at that point. Our team that year was the best in our league at the time. My dad was the team manager and it was a great time doing it every year before we stopped.
Well at the end of the year we had a double elimination tournament between every team. It came down to it and both my team and the last remaining team were both undefeated so we had to play two games to get a winner. The first game we fucking smoked them. The score was like 9-1.
A couple days later we're into the second game and it's looking like the same outcome. The manager of the other team is getting worked up I guess and says he sees lightning out of nowhere. Since it was policy to call off the game due to lightning cause of safety and all we waited it out for 10 minutes to see what happened. It was nothing so my dad goes out to see if we can keep going with the game and the other teams manager storms out and is calling him a piece of shit, asshole, etc. after we start back up he says he sees some again and I guess some of the other kids parents on that team went with it. They ended up calling the game off and both teams were declared co champions. F*ck you Matt we would've won that and you know it.
Menstrual Photo Op
When I didn't want to be in a photo because my first period bled through my white shorts. My dad threw a massive temper tantrum and was red in the face screaming and shouting, drawing a huge crowd and holding up the queue for the photo spot. I, the child, had to tell him he was making a scene and holding up the line.
Abandoned At A Golf CourseGiphy
My mom, step-dad, and I went to a local par 3 golf course. For those that don't know this is a much smaller golf course where all of the holes can be reached in one or two hits. So kind of between mini golf and actual golf. Either way, we are playing and my step-dad is playing poorly. He had brought out his $400 full set of clubs and my mom and I were both using the clubs provided at the course.
My mom is winning by a stroke or two and hits the ball and it ends up on the ground an inch from a tree. She nudges it a little bit away so that she doesn't hit the tree and my step-dad loses it. Like really goes nuts about how she was cheating.
He ends up throwing his ball into the woods and walking to the car. My mom and I continued playing because, f--- that, we were still having fun. Next thing we know we hear an engine revving and watch our ride do a burn out out of the parking lot. We had to call my biological dad and have him pick us up and drop us off at my step-dads place because he had gone home and wouldn't answer the phone.
May As Well Be Dead
My father used to break into noisy, dramatic tears when he figured he wasn't getting his way or getting enough attention.
If, during this performance, you didn't immediately fawn all over him, dripping apologies and praise, he'd storm off in a huff and threaten suicide because 'no one loved him so he may as well be dead.'
This was at least a weekly occurrence growing up. Ah, the joys of living with an emotionally stunted narcissist.
I finally stood up to his manipulation when I was 12 or 13. He stopped trying that crap with me and now we have a decent, although somewhat distant, relationship. Pretty sure he still does it with his other kids and current partner though.
The Bridezilla Show
One of my friends worked at a pastry chef at a bakery when she was first starting up. She had a bridezilla come in to order a wedding cake and they told her that they were booked solid that week and couldn't accommodate, but could give the order to another shop that might be able to help. She started to complain and then yell and scream and literally fell to the floor, kicking and screaming.
While this was going on, one of the employees started to load another wedding cake onto a cart to take out to the van. Bridezilla jumped up and pushed the cake off the cart and then stepped on it. She then stormed out and sped off.
The owner had to call the wedding party and explain that their extravagant cake was just destroyed by a crazy bridezilla. She had another cake that would serve everyone, but it wouldn't be decorated as nicely. Luckily, they were okay with it... With the stipulation that they got a copy of the camera footage.
She made a copy of the footage and delivered it along with the replacement cake. The couple showed it at the reception and it was a huge hit at the party.
When I used to work in fast food, I had a manager who was a bit older than me, early to mid 20s. Anyway, I was taking a customer's order in drive thru, and she started repeating everything I said. Literally what I would expect of a 7 year old. I asked her at least 10 times to stop because she was being unbearably childish, and still she wouldn't listen. I couldn't hear people's orders over her parroting in my ear. Finally I had to get a different manager, and just felt dumb having to complain about another manager acting that way.
The Piano TantrumGiphy
Many, many things my uncle does. The most recent reason that he's not speaking to my parents (my mum is his sister) is that he wanted their help moving a piano.
He'd ordered this piano and was waiting to hear when it would be delivered. I think he'd vaguely mentioned it to my parents. Anyway, he got the delivery date, rang up my dad and straight up just told him that my dad would be helping to move this piano.
My dad: 'Okay, that should be fine. Let me just check my diary to confirm... Oh no, turns out my car is having work done that day so I won't be able to get there and [your sister] will be at work. Sorry.'
My uncle: *screams profanities and insists that we have never helped him and no one ever helps him and the whole world is against him* *hangs up the phone* *doesn't speak to us for months*
We are passholders at Disney World, so I have seen a lot of sh*t over the years. Grown women pushing their small kids out of the way to meet a character is always in the top 10.
The best fit I've ever seen was a grown ass man who had the audacity to say "Why are there so many people here? This is MY vacation." in line at Guest Relations. Dude....it is a theme park open year-round to the masses. You will never be the only person there. When he was leaving the building, my dad went to him:
"Sorry we and everyone else here ruined your vacation."
He didn't say anything back, just gave my dad a death-glare.
My 51 year old father cried about me 'not wanting to see him'
My dad separated from my mum when I was 2 and he now lives across state. He comes to town once in a blue moon and has only once given me more than 2 days of warning. He claims that's my fault because I don't message him every day for updates. One year, he showed up on my birthday with no warning. I already had plans, but I was willing to make time for him to come meet me. I just didn't have space in my schedule to go meet him. He refused to come to meet me instead of vice versa
Now, when I say cry I mean a full blown tantrum with angry texts like: 'well I guess you don't love me then' and 'my own daughter cant be bothered to see me when I drive all this way'. He then proceeded to go to the bar and cry to his friends about how his own daughter doesn't love him.
I work 2 jobs now and I have very little free time. It's Australia Day tomorrow and I promised my friend I'd spend it with her and her family after my shift at work. My dad messaged me 4 hours ago saying he was in town for just tomorrow and wanted to see me. I now have to completely reschedule, or risk a repeat of his tantrums. So, nothing has changed.
Bag Of Clothes
I couldn't do a return for a customer because she didn't have the receipt. After much back and forth and speaking to the manager she got so angry that she threw her bag of clothes at us and purposefully knocked over a couple of stacks of shirts while storming out of the store.
She came back 30 minutes later to get that bag of clothes back.
A Couple Licks
My husband and I have a few dogs. One tends to be less affectionate than the others. He literally put himself in a bad mood because the less affectionate dog gave me a couple of licks when we were all playing together, but not my husband...
My mom deleted her Facebook because a coworker unfriended her.
Good Golly Miss Molly
I worked for restaurant that was 50's themed. They had the awesome old school coca cola plaques... the whole shebang so you can clearly see what you're walking into. Dude comes in with his wife they order, pick up their food and sit down. 5-10 minutes later dude is up at the counter pissed demanding that the music station be changed and play Christian rock because the music is offensive. Good Golly Miss Molly was playing.
We explain that we have no control over it and that the music is meant to play into the whole 1950's theme, and that the only way to have the song change is to put money in the jukebox and pick songs. Well he goes on a profanity-filled rant, claiming that were excluding him because of religious beliefs that he's calling the city. Then he goes over to the table, dumps all his food on it, smears it around with his hands and leaves.
What I found hilarious was that his face was covered in gang tattoos, he had "die motherf*cker" and a gun tattooed on his neck. His wife had a big cross tattooed in between her breasts. I normally wouldn't know this, but she was wearing a tube top 3 sizes too small so everyone could see everything. The south side of Chicago can be really classy sometimes.
My mother kicked my kids out of her house on Christmas day because my 7 year old disagreed about the rules of Yahtzee.
I had a friend at University with an incredibly jealous girlfriend. I kind of understood because he and I did date for a very short time, but it was long over. His girlfriend was really petty about it, though. She wouldnt let him use my name. He had to call me "It" when she was nearby.
Most people have friends they've been close to for most of their lives.
But at the same time, friends evolve, and everyone finds themselves losing touch with any number of people they at one point considered their friends over time.
Most of the time, this isn't intentional, but just simply happens.
On rare occasions though, people might realize that their friends were not exactly who they thought they were, and didn't like who they revealed themselves to be.
Redditor One-Refrigerator69 was curious to hear stories of people who realized their friends were not exactly the nicest people to be around, leading them to ask:
"When was the moment you realized that your friends are assholes?"
Compared to others...
"When I started hanging out with better people."- Darklink326
All it took was getting my life together
"When I quit drinking ‘cos it was killing me."
"There were people I literally saw every single day who just disappeared as if by magic."
"12 years ago this week, as it happens."
"I’m not anti-drink, far from it."
"Some people, me included, just can’t enjoy it without it becoming a problem."
"Everyone is different."- bigdaftgeordie
A little perspective goes a long way.
"After I realized that other people don't sh*t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."- ViscousPlatemanThe Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Lack of respect for other people's things
"I let my friend borrow my ps2 when I went to boot camp."
"When I came back, he said he sold it and gave me $50 I think?"
"This was in 2006."- madmike-86
Lack of mutual respect
"When he does sh*t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, then I do the same back and he gets offended."- Primary-Maybe-2749·
Constantly being taken advantage of.
"They only bothered with me when it suited them."
"I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."- zombi33mjhappy eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy
When they literally revealed themselves to be criminals
"When they robbed me at gunpoint."- Ok_Student8032
When they stopped liking them after a change of situation
"Fourth grade, when my parents economical situation went downhill and suddenly no one invited me to their birthday party."
"Until Seven years later no one had never invited me to their birthday, or to anything at all actually."- Justalittletoserious
Not being able to get a word in...
"When they tell me to shut up when I say anything."- the_golden_cheesela respuesta GIF by Becky GGiphy
Violently playing with emotions
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions, telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc, and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly."
"One night I was crying on the phone cause I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bullsh*t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call, because I didn't get it and I was so upset."
"I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."- Juliemj
It's always sad when our friends disappoint us.
But when our friends proved to be completely different people than we thought they were, it can be devastating.
As the saying goes, one never truly knows who their friends are.
When visiting any foreign country, one should always be familiar with the laws and customs of the land.
After all, what might be generally accepted on your home turf, might be frowned upon, if not illegal, elsewhere.
For that matter, even locals might need a refresher course on what they can and can't do while at home.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear what tourists and locals alike should avoid doing in the USA, leading them to ask:
"In the United States, what should you never do?"
Stay out of the skies!
"Don't fly a drone in Washington, DC."
"The whole D.C. Area is a no fly zone."
"It's a federal offense."
"Just don't do it."- PeytonCarrK
Cops can't be bribed.
"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over."
"I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once.'
"Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."- PeytonCarrK
"Don't pay off the police."
"My dad has friends from several third-world nations where it is common practice to give the police some cash when you are pulled over."
"However, if you try to bribe a police officer here, you'll get into a lot of trouble."- JohnASmiley
Know your rights.
"Everyone, including foreigners, has the right to be silent and have a lawyer when being questioned."
"Don’t say anything."
"Also, even if you speak English fairly well, ask for an interpreter."- WickedLilThing
Enjoy all that nature has to offer... carefully!
"Don't wander off in the national parks."
"It's very real wilderness and you can get lost and die out there."
"This includes going over railings you aren't supposed to, or off trails."
"People have died accidentally falling into a steam geyser that looked like normal water, mauled by animals or left to the elements."- AlphaOhmeganational parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphy
Allow plenty of time!
"Expect consistency at TSA in airports."- WickedLilThing
Some terminology doesn't translate...
"If you’re from England, they’re called cigarettes here."- Yung_Onions
Make sure your license is up to date.
"If you come from a walkable country don’t come here expecting the same."
"There are some areas with good public transportation and bicycle/pedestrian friendly streets but for the most part, especially outside of cities, the areas are designed to accommodate cars more than anything else."
"The reason a lot of Americans drive everywhere is because, depending on where you live, we have no choice."- The_Cars93Dog Driving GIFGiphy
Wait for instructions.
"Get out of your car and approach the cop when being stopped by a cop unless told to."- hildrash
Whether your'e waling down a street in a foreign country, or the street you've lived on for your entire life, it's always wise to be on guard and aware of your surroundings.
Not to mention, obey the law.
Who doesn't love a good joke?
And one needn't be a professional comedian to always have a joke in their back pocket to make people laugh.
Particularly as there are certain types of jokes which are almost always guaranteed to elicit at least a tiny chuckle.
They could be knock-knock jokes, "little johnny" jokes, and of course the "yo mamma" jokes.
Though always teetering on the boundaries of good taste, the possibilities of jokingly insulting the mother of a friend, or foe, are endless, and more often than not, hilarious.
Redditor nobody-and-68-others was eager to hear the funniest "you mamma" jokes people have ever heard, leading them to ask:
"What are the best “Yo mama” jokes you got?"
Yo mamma's so fat...
"yo mamma so fat she wakes up in sections."- LolCoca
"Yo mama so fat when I had a threesome with her I never met the other guy."- 1nzlocky
"Your mama so fat, her memory foam mattress wish it could forget."- cuirboyFat GIFGiphy
...How fat Is she?
"Yo mama's so fat she outweighs the needs of the many."- BenefitsCustardbatch·
"Yo mama’s so fat that every time she turns around, it’s her birthday."- Amphibutter·
Yo mamma's so ugly...
'Yo mama so ugly, criminals break into her house just to close the curtains."- Cap_the_pro
"Yo mama so ugly your dad wakes up with morning wouldn't."- lukeedbnash
"Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves."- SolHalcyonthe emperors new groove hangover GIFGiphy
This could have so many meanings...
"The earth was flat until they buried yo mama."- jaymo54
Fat AND Ugly?
"Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, the stock market drops."
"Yo mama so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back."- SophisticatedOtaku
Needless to say, not all jokes are to everyone's taste.
Something to keep in mind when sharing these jokes with others.
Particularly with, "yo mamma", or anyone else's...
Societal norms gradually change over time, and it's not until a generation looks back and notices just how far they've come.
One of the major differences people from earlier generations find fascinating is how things were much more rigid compared to current times.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor FCFSDeals asked:
"What’s now weirdly acceptable in 2022 that was not acceptable growing up in your generation?"
Prior to cellphones, calling protocol was vastly different once upon a time.
Answering The Call
"Not answering the phone. When we only had landline phones (yes long time ago), there was no ringing phone that went unanswered. Now we screen or just plain ignore calls until we are good and ready to deal with it."
"Also, no one expected to reach you at any time, 24-7. I miss those days."
"But there was phone etiquette: no solicitation calls; no polls; and nobody called after 9PM unless someone was in jail or the hospital."
Appearance guidelines seemed to have shifted between generations.
"People have already said tattoos, but body piercings also exploded in popularity. It used to be girls could get their ears pierced, and that was it. When I was in high school, some guys started doing the one earring look and tongue, nose and bellybutton piercings were starting to become popular."
Comfort Is Priority
"Wearing sneakers to work at a fortune 100 company."
"At the beginning of my career it was suit and tie, then business casual and now I wear stan smiths, jeans and an untucked polo in the most senior position of my working life."
"I worked for the US Senate in 2009 (in a totally non-political job for the Senate Curator). I wore clothes from Hot Topic on the Senate floor. Some days I wore old jeans with holes in the knees if I knew I'd be climbing ladders to clean artworks. One of the women on the team had a full chest tattoo and made zero effort to cover it up because no one cared. The day I met Senator Inouye to discuss what paintings he wanted in his office, I had on trainers."
Benefits Of Letting The Hair Down
"They realized that they can't erode wages and expect us to look like we're on Mad Men at the same time. Allowing long haired freaky people has made them sh*tloads of money over the years."
Hair Coloring & Tattoos
"Any type of hair coloring would result in serious trouble at school. I also remember tatoos being frown upon as being found mostly on people that got out of prison."
The advent of the internet was a huge game changer, and rules were made up as we went along.
The Bandwidth Situation
"2 people using the internet at the same time."
Phones In The Classroom
"Middle/high school students being allowed to have their cell phones in class. Being caught with our cell phone when I was a high schooler was an automatic detention etc."
Consequences Of Having A Phone On Campus
"I graduated in the late 90's, and the president of my class got expelled one week before graduation for having a phone on campus. It was in his car, and this was after hours. It rang and a teacher heard it. They made an example out of him. He lost his admission to West Point."
"Now my 8th grader finds it super unjust that her science teacher makes all the kids put their phones in a box at the front of the room during tests, and feels super justified in never ever giving up her airpods to that sort of thing."
When I was a cast member at Disneyland in the early 2000s, we had to abide by the strict, clean-cut appearance guidelines required of all cast members–with different rules applying to each respective gender.
Men, for example, were not allowed to wear jewelry or have visible tattoos. We also had to maintain the length of our hair to not exceed past a certain length, and sporting facial hair was a major no-no.
Now, the "Disney Look" has changed, allowing all cast members to reflect their personalities through “gender-inclusive hairstyles, jewelry, nail styles and costume choices; and allowing appropriate visible tattoos," according to the Disney Parks Blog.
To the Mouse, I tip my hat for these awesome changes.