The moments where we feel out of control in the situations we're in are probably the scariest. You don't understand what anyone is talking about, and it starts to make you question what the hell is going on. These are the moments where you feel you've truly lost your sanity.
u/_maggylene asked: [Serious] What was the last situation where some weird stuff went down and everyone acted like it was normal, and you weren't sure if you were crazy or everyone around you was crazy?
Polarman!
We have a local superhero in our town. Polarman.
Goes around dressed in full costume all the time and helps out people around town. Really nice guy. I think he's on disability or something so he can't work but he still wants to make the world a better place.
The best part is new people seeing him for the first time and everybody else just being like "oh that's just Polarman".
Seems like something you maybe want to pay attention to.
Out at a restaurant with my wife and her family.
My mother in law starts choking on her food. No one does anything. So I go to help. Did basic first aid years ago.
5 hits to centre of back. Nothing. She is now foaming at the mouth.
Go to try Heimlich maneuver, on third thrust this huge lump of lamb comes up and lands in her plate.
Her husband, son and other daughter look at me, say nothing and carry on eating their food.
I sit down look at my wife and feel like I am in alternative reality. Did that just happen? Was it really that inconsequential?
To this day only my wife acknowledges what happened and that I saved her mum's life in the middle of a busy restaurant.
I twitch when I think about it still years later.
That seems reasonable.
There was a gas leak in the building where my first morning college class was held. The class still met. There was still a strong gas smell, so I questioned the safety of the situation.
The teacher mocked me for being concerned and sarcastically said that he wouldn't take attendance if anyone wanted to leave. I was the only one who did. I had to text my husband to confirm that I was being reasonable.
Weird.
I was working in the the United Arab Emirates. One night, I walking on a busy boardwalk with a lot of people from all over the world. This south Asian guy was standing by a lamppost, not really doing anything, when an SUV pulled up and four Emirati Arabs got out, grabbed the guy and threw him into the back and then drove off.
They didn't yell, didn't show any police badges, the guy barely fought back. Nobody said or did anything, even though the street was crowded full of people.
That's a strange discovery.
There's a guy who rides a motorized bicycle through my neighborhood dressed like a circus ringmaster. It has been going on for 6 weeks now.
Not a motorcycle or a moped, a bicycle with pedals with a 2-stroke engine attached. Goes around 29 mph? It is loud. I can hear him coming for a few minutes, so at least 2 miles of sound carry.
Black tailcoat. Top hat. Puffy white shirt. Scarlet vest. Maroon and gold vertically striped slacks. One time I saw him check the time on a gold pocket watch. Another he puffed on a corn cob pipe.
Every morning at 7:15 he is headed north, every night at 9:45 south. 7 days a week.
I think, "where is he going dressed like that with such punctuality?" "Surely nowhere around here would allow him to dress like that, and he has no backpack, pannier, or other means of transporting a wardrobe change." "He must work 3rd shift, south of town from 10-7, that's 8 hours and an hour lunch." "But 7 days a week?"
I tried following him at night, because I assumed he was heading to work, and following him home would have been creepier than the already super creepy following to work. I had to do it in a car because like I said, he can book it on that motorized bike. I lost him in 2 turns. He runs stop signs, I don't.
The next night i was waiting in my car ready to go. I had 'The more you ignore me the closer I get' by Morrissey cued up. He was late. Super late. Rounding 10PM now. Then I see his flashy white headlight. He must have ran out of gas; he is pedalling, but I was so amped I tried anyways. He was moving at around 6 or 7 mph. I couldn't stay behind him, but I know my every route in, out, and through my neighborhood, I've lived here for 21 years and run 3x a week, so I'm like an atlas of this block. I lost him at around 5 turns. To be fair he saw me about 8 times, he may have gotten scared I was stalking him, probably because I was.
But last night, oh last night, I followed him the whole time. He was back to motor power, and ran every stop sign and red light on the way. I was catching up to him slowly at 30, so that's why I assume he is going 29. He can't lose me now. I have his scent. This is it. I will finally know. After 6 weeks closure.
Anyways he works at fucking Walmart.
That's what Pizza Hut is for.
A few years back I liked a girl and she invited me to her youth group. Everything was going fine, until the pastor said "Alter call" and then everyone walked up to the front and started rolling around.
I really wish I was making this up, there were even people holding down other people as they were shaking/rolling. Afterwards we all went to Pizza Hut and acted as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
Um....sorry, what?
I was having dinner with my parents, my sister and her husband. Somehow the topic of abuse came up and my parents said how they never resorted to physical abuse in their marriage and my BIL turned to my sister and said, "I mean I've only hit you a couple of times but only when it was serious."
My sisters face turned red, she defended why it happened then laughed it off. Meanwhile I'm absolutely shocked and disgusted by this and my parents joined them and laughed along as well and says "it happens." I was more shocked that my parents didn't react properly and to this day I'll never understand it.
RIP Fyre Fest.
Had a guy who used to work where I do we'll call him Jeff. He was a level above me on the org chart, but still below the CEO. They started to work on a project and announced to the staff, the board and shareholders - but things didn't make sense. A few other employees saw what I was seeing and started to ask questions about how money was going to be handled how other resources were going to be allocated and what the long term plans where - we were all sidelined and told we were being negative. Jeff treated me and my other co-workers as if he was a genius and we were all his minions even though we were in different departments.
Long story short - launch day for this new project came and the numbers weren't there, but Jeff was still blaming the rest of the organization. Things fell apart fast and we lost hundreds of thousands of dollars and hundreds of customers. Jeff runs his own company now and just announced a new project to his shareholders...
When the Fyre festival documentaries came out I texted a friend of mine who worked at that company at the time all of this was going down. I told him to watch them both and tell me who Billy McFarland reminds him of. 20 minutes later I get a text "OMG...It's Jeff."
The whole time Jeff was doing his thing everyone acted like Jeff was a genius. He could raise money, motivate a crowd, and believed he could talk his way into and out of anything. It was amazing how similar he is to Billy McFarland, the only difference is Jeff hasn't been caught doing anything illegal yet.
That's horrifying.
Public speaking class, mid 1990s.
Assignment says "persuasive speech" and the first three people give "quit smoking" speeches. The fourth guy realizes that is his planned topic too.
He decides to change his topic on the spot to "why you should have sympathy for rapists" and details several rapes from the first person perspective.
He is confessing to being a serial rapist in front of a fairly large class. His point is that women should understand that he is just a horny guy with feelings and not fight him. They should feel sympathy for rapists .
It was incredibly horrifying. However, being the 1990's everybody is stunned, and nobody says anything. (He was arrested for rape, months later).
Good point.
It's almost 10am, the storm Karen is on the way, I've heard nothing from my boss on whether she'll make us go or not (I asked at 5:31am), and my co-worker wrote me to ask if I'm at the office because she's "getting ready to leave to go to the office". They're acting as if nothing's going on, as if it's going to just magically disappear. It hasn't started raining yet, it's actually quite sunny, that's true, but the rain is forecasted to begin at around 11am and by the time I'd be clocking out, the streets through which I'd have to pass to get back home would be flooded. Also, I'd be stuck on the highway under blinding rain.
I forgot I could post an update right here: I ended up not going to work, it's almost 4pm and my boss never answered me. My co-worker did go to work, and my boss would live in her office if she could so she's definitely there as well. I think the heavy rain will be hitting my area by nightfall, but I still don't regret my decision. I'm expendable to the company, but not to my family, my loved ones and myself. It's hard working with two people who put their jobs before their own well-being and health which makes you look lazy when you take care of yourself as I am, but their opinion of me and even my job is not worth my life.
Knowing how to comfort someone is a skill that not everybody has. In fact, some of us outright suck at it.
It doesn't make you a bad person - maybe you're awkward under pressure, or uncomfortable, or didn't have healthy models of empathy. Maybe you just panic and don't know what to do.
Thanks, Teach!
<p>"So, have they found someone new yet?"</p><p>One of my parents died. My parents had been married twenty-five years. A teacher asked me this question five months after the funeral.</p><p>She later told my surviving parent that my depression was because I had to share a room sometimes with a sibling. Not because of my dead parent.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4r2xg/whats_the_worst_way_someone_has_tried_to_comfort/gkpycyo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wzzz11124</a></p>A Music Career
<p>At my boyfriend's funeral a girl he went to high school with came up to me and tried to comfort me by saying she knew "exactly" how I was feeling because she was in love with him too. </p><p>They never dated, they weren't even friends after graduating high school. </p><p>Now she's made a music career from writing sad love songs about him that make it sound like they were together.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4r2xg/whats_the_worst_way_someone_has_tried_to_comfort/gkqc9vi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">h3llbaby-ri</a></p>Happy Birthday!
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTU0MTkwNi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1ODUyODIyMn0.KCvddvC-hOTRNU4I2h9XB4EiNJbqtIb6tUIVycrcrcs/img.gif?width=980" id="92b5a" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="64cf90889116269bc1889f71eb3e6b8d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="400" />Episode 4 Birthday GIF by FriendsGiphy<p>A few years ago, I caught pneumonia, and a stomach virus at the same time. Needless to say, I was really really sick. I was in the hospital for 9 days, and one of those days happened to be my 27th birthday. </p><p>One of my aunts that I don't really know was in town, and wanted to come visit. When she got there, she gave me a card for my birthday, which was nice, but when I read it, it said "since this looks like it'll be your last birthday, I'll say my goodbyes now LOL".</p><p>Now, I'm all for dark humor, but at that point I'd already lost 14 pounds from throwing up, I had a 104 degree fever for multiple days, I was delirious and hallucinating, and hadn't slept in days. I was in legitimate fear that I was actually going to die. </p><p>Told my mom after I was better that I didn't want to see that aunt ever again.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4r2xg/whats_the_worst_way_someone_has_tried_to_comfort/gkq388v?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">floridas_lostboy</a></p>The Original Owner Of The Book
<p>People say and do some weird sh*t in attempts to comfort others. Myself included. </p><p>But the biggest stand out was when my mother was first diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer (she is doing great now). She received a second hand book called <em>Cooking and Coping with Cancer</em>. </p><p>The original owner of the book didn't need it anymore ... because he died of cancer. So his wife thought my mom would like it. </p><p>The intention was kind, but it was just a bit depressing.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4r2xg/whats_the_worst_way_someone_has_tried_to_comfort/gkq1o5i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">theWildBore</a></p>Prosperity Gospel
<p>When I had my first miscarriage, husband and I were attending a Word of Faith type church.</p><p>Their words of "encouragement" were that our baby had died because of some hidden/un-repent sin in my life + my faith wasn't strong enough, and I should just keep praying.</p><p>You would think that a church of all places would embrace you in your suffering and loss. These guys (& gals..) just kind of out-casted us like we would bring them bad luck. </p><p>It was a weird time, and after that I found it hard to hang out with any of them or believe most of what they were teaching.</p><p>We went on to have a healthy little girl and found a much less toxic church, but to this day if anyone mentions the prosperity gospel to me I have a lot of things to say.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4r2xg/whats_the_worst_way_someone_has_tried_to_comfort/gkqn5h6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kannakantplay</a></p>No Dogs Go To Heaven
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTU0MTkwMy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MjgwMjM4Mn0.AuV3wZdpHdnZSjeGtJK2DWK_hr8pygOYakH_V79ykXE/img.gif?width=980" id="1965e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="48868a6f58dfdb14fca6a48cd28e590a" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="245" data-height="138" />don bluth 80s GIFGiphy<p>My wife and I got a dog back before we were married. GREAT dog. Wonderful animal. Very much our first child.</p><p>Fast forward a few years and our sweet girl had to be put to sleep. I was at work and upset about it. I couldn't stop leaking a little just thinking about her. My very Catholic friend told me that, if it was any comfort, dogs don't have souls.</p><p>WTF?</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4r2xg/whats_the_worst_way_someone_has_tried_to_comfort/gkqvpv5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">edgarpickle</a></p>Panic And Dog Food
<p>I was this person unfortunately. I don't react well with sudden bad news and often say the first thing that comes to my mind out of sheer panic.</p><p>I went to get my hair cut in college and as I sat down the small talk started. She asked how things have been blah blah blah. I asked how she had been (it was our first time meeting) and she says "my dog just died." </p><p>Immediately the alarms are going off in my head, a man is running around my brain blasting a whistle trying to figure out my next step.</p><p>"At least you'll save a ton of money on dog food now."</p><p>No... Please no! </p><p>Unfortunately it was already said, everyone stopped what they were doing immediately, you could hear a pin drop. She just continued cutting my hair for what was the quietest haircut I've ever got. I couldn't even apologize I felt so bad and so awkward. </p><p>I just shut my damn mouth and looked straight ahead while hoping I still had both my ears by the time I left.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4r2xg/whats_the_worst_way_someone_has_tried_to_comfort/gkqa7go?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OriginsOfSymmetry</a></p>"That's What Drug Addicts Do"
<p>My cousin died of a drug overdose, my father called me to tell me the news. </p><p>After I got off the phone, visibly upset, I told my husband (now ex) what had happened. He said: <br>"Well what did you expect to happen? That's what drug addicts do, they die. And he did it to himself, there is no reason for you to shed a tear, get over it." </p><p>then went back to playing video games. </p><p>I didn't even know what to say to that, and just went to the other room to mourn by myself. It was an abusive situation and I am still in the process of getting divorced 2.5 years later.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4r2xg/whats_the_worst_way_someone_has_tried_to_comfort/gkqvivj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lil-one</a></p>How NOT To Treat A Phobia
<p>I used to have a phobia of scarecrows that began when I had a repeating nightmare where I would be chased by one in a dark cornfield. </p><p>A girlfriend I had in high school invited me along on a youth group trip. She didn't tell me much except we were going to a camp the next state over and would be doing things like going to an apple orchard. </p><p>The first full day, we all get on the bus, and she tells me that we were going to a corn maze. She hid this from me as she thought it would help with my phobia given she'd be with me and it was day time... I dumbly agreed and made it through the maze while white-knuckling her hand the whole time. </p><p>When we got out, I asked how much longer we'd be at the maze... that's when she told me about how it turns into a haunted corn maze at night... anyone want to take a guess at what the actors were dressed as...</p>People Break Down The Exact Moment They Realized They Were Being Manipulated By Someone They Trusted
Manipulation is designed to be stealthy. We hardly recognize it when it's happening to us because our abuser has forced it to appear under wraps.
But when we recognize it for what it really is, we really feel like we've been smacked across the face. There is no other descriptor for it. Usually we've trusted and loved those that manipulated us.
A Platitude Of Pleasing
<p>You never know where the next blowout is coming from. Any time something needs to be addressed, you might try to bring it up once, gently, if you're feeling brave. If you meet the slightest bit of resistance, or you don't feel like that fight in the first place, you just go "okay dear" instead. You find that you'll put the argument off until next time, and hope that whatever you thought to bring up won't have any consequences, because you'll be hearing about those, too. It sucks, and I'm glad you can speak about it in the past tense.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TheGreatestAuk/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TheGreatestAuk</a></p>Wrong Or Right Or Just Not Agreeing?
<p>When I started realizing that I was feeling like I was constantly walking on eggshells. I never knew which version of my friend I'd get when we saw each other, or when we hung out. I also just completely stopped disagreeing with them because I didn't want to hear them tell me how wrong I was if we didn't share the same viewpoint.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/WhatArcherWhat/" target="_blank">WhatArcherWhat</a></p>Being Used
<p>My best friend suddenly distanced herself from me. But every now and then she'd call and ask if I wanted to do something, and I was encouraged because I thought it meant that things were still good between us. It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that she only called when she wanted to do something that required a ride, since she didn't have a car. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I don't use people that way so I didn't recognize user behavior. You can bet I do now.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Goldeverywhere/" target="_blank">Goldeverywhere</a></p>Hiding The Receipts
<p>I was living with my former best friend and his gf at the time. When I asked for grocery receipts (I trusted him & his ex to buy groceries bc I didn't have a car at the time + our work schedules were different so I couldn't go with them) and they wouldn't provide any. The only reason I became suspicious was bc they started asking for a ridiculous amount of money for my half and the actual amount of food wasn't adding up. Up until that point they never asked for a crazy amount and I was content with our groceries, but I noticed they became extremely greedy. When I then asked to see a banking statement, they wouldn't even provide me with that either.</p><p>At that point I just realized they were finessing me out of extra money and I started buying my own food. I just bit my tongue bc we only had like 2 months left on the lease. They tried to gaslight me and make me seem like the bad guy any chance they had (almost the entire time I lived with them actually). Eventually, I grew apart from him once I moved away and the only reason he hit me back up was bc she cheated on him so he probably didn't have anyone else to turn to (go figure). We don't talk anymore.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/0MG1MW3T/" target="_blank">0MG1MW3T</a></p>Ah Yes, Good Old DARVO
<p>My mother and I have always had a rocky relationship. She's always encouraged me to tell her what's wrong, however, any time I would she'd immediately go "sorry I'm such a terrible mother, I give you everything you want and it's still not good enough! Why don't you just go live with someone you don't hate?" Keep in mind this happens over small things such as "mom, I'd appreciate it if you'd knock before coming into my room. You know how easily I startle and you barging into my room really upsets me"</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/paytonc0510/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">paytonc0510</a></p>How Do You Do This To Someone
<p>8 years into the relationship. As we're sitting down he explains to me that the "first couple years" we were together he only saw me as a place to crash and free rides, but he loved me NOW, and even though I accomplished all the goals HE set for ME so we could get married he said "I never really thought you could do it". Oh and also you got fat, but don't worry we can fix it! It was like a magic veil lifted and I finally saw who he really was. F**k you James.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DoNotUseOnHumans/" target="_blank">DoNotUseOnHumans</a></p>Be My Friend And Not Theirs
<p>She always managed to make me do things I didn't really want to do but the last straw was when she decided I had to stop being friends with two mates of mine over something stupid that offended her. </p><p>Cut her off over that and she then proceeded to act derisively ("you'll come back"), then badmouthed me and then begged me to take her back. Ten years later I am still friends with those two guys and she's still out of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FatherTedHackett/" target="_blank">FatherTedHackett</a></p>Victim Time
<p>When literally every time me and my mom talked she played the victim.</p><p>I was trying to help her raise me, ask me about my grades and stuff. For her I just existed, she wasn't responsible at all.</p><p>I grew up watching her play the victim to others, and I was always on her side, cuz she's my mom you know. Also I never really understood what was going on.</p><p>I started getting older and older, and seeing sh*t after sh*t she did. I understood what she did to my father, to my step-dad, to my sister, to her friends.</p><p>Probably I'd be the next one who she would use and throw away.</p><p>I talked to her... and you know the result. The victim. Nothing it's her fault.</p><p>The last time we talked, I was expecting the victim card. When she started speaking, I already knew what was going to happen. I didn't even said a word, I just agreed with her, and the next day I moved out. I'm not wasting my time.</p><p>It was the last day before quarantine, I remember it as if it was yesterday. Friday night: saturday morning I was packing my stuff.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NotFromHeel/" target="_blank">NotFromHeel</a></p>Sixteen Years Of Made Up Lies
<p>After 16 years of marriage I realized my now ex was manipulating me. I would work and take care of the house and if I asked him to do something like get a job or clean up he would stage a mental breakdown and make me feel bad for asking him for help. </p><p>He would play up a horrible childhood or PTSD from the military to make me feel like I need to take care of him. Then would play on his computer all day and smoke while I worked. </p><p>Found out that a lot of his horrible childhood stories were made up and that he never made it through basic training in the military. I am happily with someone now but still catch myself cringing when he does things like cook or clean thinking that he is going to yell at me for being lazy. Meanwhile he loves me and is just doing things to take care of me. I'm working on deprogramming myself.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/HolyCelestialCow/" target="_blank">HolyCelestialCow</a></p>Sometimes It's The Mother-In-Law
<p>Took me until after the engagement to realize that my cheating ex fiancee was trying to browbeat me into submission.</p><p>Anywho, I quickly recognized emotional blackmail and manipulation from my MIL after getting married to a different girl years later due to that experience. I called her out on it.</p><p>She... Doesn't like that. But since my wife and sister-in-law and brother-in-law also recognize it they've got my back.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/engineertr1gg/" target="_blank">engineertr1gg</a></p>Just as new mothers encounter the sudden, influential developments of powerful hormone changes, protective instincts, and milk production, so new fathers undergo some key changes of their own.
Their socks become exclusively white, climbing higher up the calf than ever before. All their shorts sprout cargo pockets and clunky belt loop cell phone holders. They start to really lean in to their old records.
Regional Laws
<p>"Dad, driving past a cemetery: Did you know anyone living in a 3 mile radius of a cemetery isn't allowed to be buried there?"</p><p>"Me: No, I had no idea. How come?"</p><p>"Dad: Yeah, you're not allowed to bury the living"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1d2k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TinyLuckDragon</a></p>For the Face Plant Image
<p>"Why do Scuba Divers fall backwards off a boat?"</p><p>"Because if they fell frontwards they'd still be on the boat" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjv4mt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hatsnatcher23</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Just told this one to my bf and he still has his face in his hands" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjka0w7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sxeoompaloompa</a></p>A Mammal of Few Words
<p>"What did the father buffalo say when his child left for school?"</p><p>"Bison" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp257?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TatooineLight</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"LOL" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp9p0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BennuH</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Told this to my brother, he laughed his a** off." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4cvq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Type10Civilization</a></p>Baggage
<p>"When I do home improvements I always use my step ladder"</p><p>"I never knew my real ladder" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjlkab?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DavosLostFingers</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Whoever took the ladder, please return it or further steps will be taken." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjm2htz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WaldhornNate</a></p>Woah Woah Woah, We're in Public
<p>"Me: I'm not very hungry, I just want something easy"</p><p>"Server: maybe the chicken strips for $6"</p><p>"Me: maybe it does, but that doesn't help my hunger" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjuq78?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mcnoobs_</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My husband was facepalming for solid 8 minutes after I read that joke to him." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjnee7m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Madanax</a></p>Not Wrong
<p>"Two dudes were on a boat with a few cigarettes, but they didn't have anything to light them, so they threw one of the cigarettes out of the boat, and the boat became a cigarette lighter." </p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjkeoz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OrangeMirrorJuice</a></p>Watch the News Before Saying This One
<p>"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?"</p><p>"It's okay, they eventually woke up."</p><p>"I cringe every time." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk0ej7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">unicorndreamz94</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My 10 year old tried this one a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I had just read news about a missing local girl. 'So I answered that yes I heard about the missing girl' Scared the sh** out of my 10 year old" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjo3ssv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aubear11885</a></p>Got a Million of Em
<p>"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fshhhh."</p><p>"I'm sorry but I'm about to say something tasteless. Water."</p><p>"I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off."</p><p>"Unfortunately though, I can't really tell these jokes since I'm not a dad. I'm a faux pa."</p><p> -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk9igl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WholeGrainMustard</a></p>G-Pa With the Physics Humor
<p>"Why does the movie "speed" have no director?"</p><p>"If it had direction, it'd be called velocity!"</p><p>"-my grandpa, earlier today" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4wdo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ConceptUpset4681</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's better than a regular dad joke. It's a grand dad joke." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkuc30?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">VaultBoy9</a></p>A Surprising Amount of Elevator Humor
<p>"I have a joke about elevators."</p><p>"It works on so many levels......." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1lrv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">M0ntgomatron</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Did you hear about the corruption at the elevator company?"</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"It went all the way to the top." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkyjrp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RandomName222222222</a></p>Cleaning up is hard enough when it's just clearing a month of dust bunnies. Can you imagine cleaning the debris left by murder, suicide and violence? I have a really great friend who used to do crime scene clean-up for a living. The pay is incredible; it starts at $55 an hour. But there is a much higher cost in mental well being. Death affects you in ways you don't always feel immediately. My friend has stories of nightmares, depression and pain after leaving scenes of horror. Why make all that money just to spend it on therapy? It takes a certain type of person.
***TRIGGER WARNING. CONTENTS ARE SENSITIVE ***
Redditor u/MemegodDave wanted to hear from the people who have the stomach to come in after crime and tragedyto try to bring back some form of normalcy to the location by asking... People who make their living out of cleaning murder scenes, accidents and the like, what is the worst thing you have experienced in your career?