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Guys, it took me way too long to get my love life together. I don't learn. You ever have one of those relationships where you know everything that's happening is messed up but you still don't leave? I had a dude dump a bowl of popcorn over my head at a restaurant once. Think I left? Nope. I married him.


Looking back, that absolutely should have been a moment where I bailed out (I did, eventually and I'm SO GOOD right now, calm down guys) but like I said, I don't learn. So when one Reddit user posted:

What is the most "F*ck This I'm out" moment of your relationship?

I knew I owed it to myself (and those among you who are also clueless hot messes) to learn everything I could and share it. So of course I was all up in the responses like:

media2.giphy.com


Here are some of the more popular, messier, more ridiculous responses. Learn well, guys. Learn well.


The Thief

He stole my debit card and traded it to his dealer for some methadone then helped me look for it when I panicked.

Eventually I saw him laughing with his dealer via text that he helped me look for my card. I confronted him about it and he was mad at me for looking at a text over his shoulder.

Yeah, bye bud.

Thing is, that wasn't even really the worst of it. That was just the straw that broke the camel's back. His parents locked EVERYTHING including the garage and the pantry. He would sell ANYTHING. He sold his xbox, my Nintendo 64 (tried to convince me I took it back home with me), his moms jewelry, his dads tools, anything in his grandmothers home... literally anything. My parents wouldn't allow him in their house. This particular time it was methadone but he also sold stolen belongings for weed, booze, plant food, X - literally anything he could get his hands on for the high.

I once found him staggering down the highway nearly falling down because he was so high. I have so many terrifying stories. So. Many.

Eventually I got him into a treatment facility for a 30 day detox/treatment that he obviously wasn't taking seriously. Apparently they still let you have nicotine in treatment and he rolled a few joints in cigarette casings. No one checked apparently to see if he brought anything in. I arranged that after the completion of that program he would be placed in a halfway house situation to "continue his sobriety."

Once he was in a safe place I walked away. I told him that I couldn't build his life for him but I gave him all the tools. Told him I loved him and to call me after 5 years sobriety.

He was a very manipulative person, as most addicts are. His whole family was like that, though. His mom at one point told me if he failed it was my fault. I was 18 and wanted to help people. After I left him he stalked me for 2 years (changing his phone number constantly, showing up at my work, writing me letters, having his friends show up places I was and take pictures of me, even convinced a new girlfriend to stalk me and try to ruin my life) and eventually went to jail on probation violations. Wrote me letters from jail that I never even read. I just threw them away. It has been 7 years since I walked away. Last time he contacted me was a little over a year ago. 10 days before my wedding day in fact. I told him I was getting married and he hung up. Haven't heard from him since.

- HiImDana

Take A Nap

When he went on a business trip for a week and I decided to surprise him at the airport (he told me when his flight got in) so he wouldn't have to Uber an hour home. I waited down at baggage claim and his coworkers looked shocked to see me. I asked where Josh was and his boss said "Wait- he didn't tell you?! He left the convention early- his father is in the hospital! He came back two days ago!"

His father wasn't in the hospital. I called him and acted like nothing was wrong. He told me had just landed 15 minutes prior (and it was a bumpy flight). I asked him where he was, and he said about to leave the airport. I said "That's funny-- because I'm standing right outside the lower level exit!"

He went silent. Long story short, he said he came home two days early because he "wanted to take a nap. " He told me he had gotten a hotel room instead of just going home so he would be able to get good sleep. Dude then blamed ME, saying "Well, you shouldn't have picked me up from the airport without telling me you were going to! If you didn't there wouldn't be a problem!" That's when I got the fuck out of that relationship. He was clearly cheating on me.

Two months later I got my confirmation - the girl was pregnant. He ended up marrying her, switched jobs, and moved across the country.

It's been a long time, and he's recently started trying to contact me again. He was coming back to my area on a business trip, and said he could stay a couple extra days so we could spend time together. I asked him how his wife would feel about that, and he said she didn't have to know, he would just tell her his trip was longer than it actually was.

All these years later, and he's still trying to use the exact same method to cheat on his wife as he did to me. The wife he cheated on me with! Pathetic. I've blocked him from my phone and email.

- elle___

Game Of Thrones

Giphy

She still went over to her ex's house "to watch Game of Thrones." They're now married.

- [deleted]

The Roof

When she said she cheated on me "to provide for our daughter and make sure she had a roof over her head". I was working full time and staying with my family, we had money AND a roof.

- TriIIuminati

We Don't Talk

She didn't speak to me for a 2 weeks solid, didn't answer my calls or texts. I was really confused because I didn't do anything wrong. Then she rings me up out of the blue, crying asking me why we don't speak anymore.

YOU STOPPED REPLYING TO MY TEXTS AND CALLS AND THEN WONDER WHY WE DON'T TALK!?

see ya

- kezzerb

Pause 

He tried to convince me to just take a break for two weeks so he could f*ck other girls while he was on vacation.

- tallerkoala

Bucket Of Snails

She got drunk and started calling me all sorts of mean things such as fat and a "c*ck sucking bucket of snails"

Needless to say it didn't last very long.

- Zombiesarehonest

Bending The Rules

He ruined my birthday by being a stickler for rules. They didn't matter and everyone just wanted to have fun. My younger brother is on the autism spectrum. A small group of us were playing Monopoly and he absolutely refused to bend the rules so my brother could play, too. All we wanted was to make things simpler so my brother could keep up.

My ex sat there spewing some hurtful crap like "You can't bend the rules just because someone has a disability! Real life doesn't work that way!"

He was intentionally making my brother cry and didn't care that it was leading to a meltdown. We literally only wanted to bend 2-3 rules of the game, and it wasn't much, it was just so my brother could keep playing and having fun, too. He was being intentionally cruel to my brother because he didn't want him to play with us.

I'm so glad I dumped him. On Valentine's day two years later he sent me a text from his new number saying that he missed me. I blocked his ass.

- RattusDraconis

The Dog

Giphy

We were getting ready for bed one night and I went to wash my face. When I came back he was already in bed. I smelled something burning and jumped up thinking there was a fire or something in the apartment. Searched everywhere, he helped me look! But he kept telling me he thought everything was fine and to just come to bed. Went to kiss my dog goodnight in her cage, the top of her head smelled like burnt hair. He wouldn't admit to anything, but it was clear he had somehow burnt her fur.

We dated a few more weeks where he started getting increasingly jealous of my dog, claiming I paid more attention to her than him. We had only been dating 5-6 months and my dog was about 8 years old, sorry bud. She wins.

He came over one day and my dog was suddenly scared of him, she's not scared of anyone. Broke up with him that night. I'm pretty sure he had done something to her and if she didn't like him, that was all I needed to know.

Later, he claimed he did accidentally burn her by dropping weed from his bowl onto her head while she was in her cage. I don't believe that and I'm pretty sure he's a psychopath. Dodged a bullet with that one.

- bostonlilypad

A Hyphen

It may sound minor, but it was an important moment for me.

We were in the stage where marriage was on the table. I mentioned that I planned to hyphenate my last name with his on legal documents. He turned on a dime, from the sweet, intelligent man I thought I knew to a vicious, sexist asshole.

We were driving in a car and he started speeding dangerously and screaming that he would never "allow" any wife of his to have a hyphenated name because "everyone knows" women who did that were bitches, and anyone who ever saw it would know that he was whipped.

That was a huge WTF moment. I wasn't ready to throw in the towel at that second, but that conversation was the turning point which opened my eyes to who he was.

- AvocadoVoodoo

What's your "WTF I'm out of here" moment?


Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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