Sometimes you just need to have the hard conversations with people. The kind that are the last resort, that you really really don't want to have. It sucks, but it's necessary. Here are a few examples of these tough conversations, courtesy of the people of Reddit.
u/Ryrylx asked: [serious] What's the hardest thing you've had to say to someone?
That's super tough.
Telling my dad on the phone that my mom was dead. They hadn't been together for almost 20 years but they were still good friends and loved each other very much. She was the first woman he ever loved, marriage just wasn't good. I had to call him as soon as he got to work. I asked him if he could come by my house and he asked what was wrong and I said, "Mom's dead." (I was still in shock.)
The sad and defeated "oh my god oh my god" he said over the phone broke my heart. It didn't fully hit me until he pulled up and I just collapsed in his arms. It was awful. Worst morning of my entire life.
Good for you.
Giphy
Told my mother she would no longer be a part of my life or my kids' lives.
It's been 12 years and counting. She's a toxic narcissist and the final straw was her saying something incredibly demeaning to my youngest daughter during a two week vacation on the beach (that I was 100% funding). I immediately put her a** in a cab back to the airport and have not seen or spoken to her since.
Definitely difficult, but my life is SO much better now.
Oh NO.
I had to tell my friend's mom that I shat my pants while watching a scary movie when I was at my friend's place. It was so hard to tell her. I kept talking about something else every time when I went to tell her. [seriously]
Sorry that happened to you and I hope it ended well but this is really funny to picture lol. 10th attempt: I....well...I was watching a movie...and it got me thinking, what's the deal with movies?
Wars kill in many ways.
Having to tell my daughter in law that my son, her husband, was dead.
Both my sons suffered from PTSD. The youngest became severely depressed and committed suicide. The eldest just rode his motorcycle into oncoming traffic on an interstate late at night. Wars kill in many ways.
It's good to communicate.
Giphy
"I feel like I'm being neglected by you." Followed by.. "Just because we love each other doesn't mean we are good for each."
That's some solid communication right there, well done. My ex had that talk with me (we were both bad for each other but I can't deny that as a younger man I was a bad boyfriend). Years later we are still friends and are both in healthy relationships. I am a proud decent husband and I owe a lot of my growth to my ex for calling out unacceptable behaviors.
Good for you.
The morning after a (now ex) boyfriend left my apartment, I had to call a sexual assault hotline. Saying out loud that he had hurt me and asking what I needed to do next was so hard to say out loud.
The out loud is so hard. I struggle with people's reactions too. Not that they react badly, but I hate breaking their hearts.
Alcoholism hurts everyone involved.
I had to tell my husband, whom I love more than life itself, second only to my children, that he couldn't come home until he seriously started making some good decisions about his problem drinking and his life.
I miss him desperately.
One of the hardest things in the world.
Giphy
Having to explain to all of the friends in my friend group that our other friend had killed himself. I had that conversation 12 times that day alone, and I remember each word for word. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to explain.
A couple of years back, one of my close friends died in a road accident. I had to make the call to the rest of our gang. It was traumatic. To think about it now, gives me anxiety.
That's such a hard ultimatum.
My ex had a brain tumor. He had two months to live or to get surgery. He didn't want to go under the knife because he was terrified of doctors. I had to tell him that I would leave him unless he got the surgery because I wasn't going to watch him die. He got the surgery and is alive today.
I don't feel bad for emotionally manipulating him. It was hard but it was for the best.
Oof.
I had to tell an employee that he smelled and needs to improve his personal hygiene.
I'm sure everybody else appreciated it.
I have problems with my nose and had a family member approach me about this once. I was pretty mad about how they did it, but really wished somebody had said something sooner. If anything, it shows you care about his well being.
A tough one.
Giphy
Having to tell my mom that I was scared to be alone with her. My dad had just been arrested and sent to a rehab facility, and my mom was a heavy cocaine user. On top of that she was off her meds. I hadn't eaten at all that day, and I hadn't been to school in three weeks. She was hallucinating and being paranoid.
I told her I didn't feel safe with her because she was too incapacitated to make dinner. Whatever I said snapped her out of it, and she called relatives to take care of me, and then she went to rehab. I was eleven.
That's so sad.
My friend handed me a card with cursive. She asked me to read it, since she can't read cursive. The card said that her mom had HIV, and I really couldn't bear to tell her. And when I did, she just took the card and walked off.
Ew.
I had to speak to an employee about his masturbating during work time. He would leave his work station multiple times a day and go to the bathroom and masturbate.
His co-workers were pretty fed up with his actions and the fact that one of the two bathroom stalls was always occupied.
Tragic.
Giphy
Awhile back, I found my best friend's dead body. His uncle was my housemate, and his parents lived a state away from me.
Not only did I have to come back to my own house and deal with his uncle's reaction... But I refused to let the cops call my buddies parents to tell them. The sounds his mom made during my phone call will stick with me forever.
That's a hard one.
I had to tell someone that I didn't love them in the same way they loved me. It was awful because they are a really close friend and I didn't want to hurt them.
Reddit user SaifurCloudstrife asked:
"Redditors opposed to marijuana legalization and decriminalization: Why?"
Normally when these types of questions are asked, you get a bunch of people who are pro-the-thing chiming in and that absolutely happened here.
Interestingly, that opened up discourse that got people actually talking—probably more than they normally would have. The constant back and forth helped people get down to the core of their beliefs and reasons.
I can't say minds or hearts were changed, or even that people had particularly good reasons (and there were some not-great counter arguments, let's be real) when it came right down to it, but conversations were certainly had...
The 70's
"It's a drug."
"I have two examples in my close family that clearly show how devastating pot can be. This attitude to marijuana reminds me of the attitude towards cocaine in the mid to late seventies when everyone thought it was harmless 'nose candy.' "
"I'm against sentences for drug possession but many people would benefit from dealers serving 3-5 for selling pot."
"But how is it any different than alcohol? Or would you ban that too? (Serious question)"
"Honestly, I think everyone against it should come to Canada for a visit. It's been legal here for 4 years and absolutely NONE of the spooky stories have come true."
"The only real differences is that people buy their weed in nice, clean stores with clear labels and not on street corners and our tax dollars don't go towards harassing people for a weekend indulgence."
GiphyThe Smell
"It stinks and makes people lazy."
"It stinks"
"Smells bad"
"I hate the smell it gives me headaches and makes me wanna puke!"
"And often the weed smokers don't care if they are a pain in the butt to others and that kind of apathy is a huge no for me."
Giphy"I live in WA, where rec weed is legal."
"I rarely ever smell pot smoke. And I have the nose of a bloodhound."
"Yes, more often than as a teen when it was still illegal, but far less than any amount to be pro-prohibition about it."
"Plus, I mean, there's lots of smells I f*cking hate but wouldn't enact harmful laws over- Axe body spray being one."
"Laws can be made regarding where you can smoke."
"In Australia you can't smoke inside or within a certain distance to entryways. The only space you smell smoke is at an outdoor pub, designated smoking areas and occasionally when walking."
"It took years, but people become accustomed to new rules. Knowing Americans though, you guys will be on the brink of civil war if they brought in similar restrictions."
- IAMJUX
It's TOO Good
"I've read that the potency in pot these days is a hell of a lot stronger compared to say 20 or 30 yrs ago."
"The huge increase in THC levels should be a huge concern for people. The pot being legalized today is not the same I smoked when I was much younger."
"This argument has been rolled out again and again since I was in elementary school (~30 years ago) and I never understood it."
"THC is remarkably non-toxic, it's so much less toxic than many common substances people ingest on a regular basis (aspirin, and plenty of other OTC meds, as examples), to the point where actual THC toxicity is caused by physical rather than chemical/metabolic actions."
"Smoked cannabis is also much easier to titrate (dose appropriately), since the effects are nearly instantaneous - take a couple hits and you'll know if you've had enough within seconds."
Giphy"As opposed to an accidental edible overdose where you might not know for a couple hours that you've taken a heroic dose."
"So a higher % of THC by weight in cannabis flower shouldn't be an issue, especially considering that back in D.A.R.E. they used to tell us that smoking cannabis was SO MUCH WORSE than smoking tobacco."
"Cannabis was supposedly so much 'harsher,' one joint contains 'toxins' equivalent to an entire pack of cigs, etc...which is total bull, but even if that were true...wouldn't that mean that stronger cannabis is less harmful, since you don't have to smoke so much to achieve the desired effect?"
"Can't have it both ways."
It is high potency because it is illegal. It's easier to transport a half pound of skunk than 10 pounds of trash weed."
"Look at states that have legalized. There are low thc strains available and easily accessible."
- ADD-DDS
Like Cigarettes
"Because dipsh*ts will start smoking it in public places where others can not really avoid it, like is the case with cigarettes currently."
"Also yes: F*ck cigarettes."
"Yep my problem is drugs in public."
"I do not care if you do drugs as long as your doing them in a private place. I don't want to breathe in your smoke and get lung cancer."
- Tom_89n
"I don't really have strong feelings regarding legalization but people who smoke anything in public spaces are annoying."
"I don't especially care what folks get up to on their own, it's when they make everyone around them a participant that it aggravates me."
"Plus, depending on the setting, it's really inconsiderate."
"I have a friend whose job does random drug testing and he left a bar because a bunch of folks were smoking inside and he was worried about work."
GiphyGo Away, Government!
"I'm for legalization but as someone that worked for corporate cannabis, I'd loathe seeing those scums run the market."
"My state Governor tried writing a recreational cannabis bill on their own terms since we are surrounded by recreational territories."
"They stated they didn't want it to lead to a ballot measure because that's worst case scenario (didnt think voters were educated) than proceeded to write the most comically bad legalization bill that existed - before completely dropping it because they couldn't write a competent law."
"I am about as anti pot as they come, but if they are going to legalize it, why wouldn't they make it legal to grow your own? (Rhetorical- I know the answer… same reason "they" are legalizing it… tax money)"
- tmccrn
"This is what I am screaming. For them it's only about money."
"They are waiting for the rich to install a profit making infrastructure before they let us peasants enjoy anything."
GiphyThe Idiots
"If I had any good reason it's because idiots insist it's not addictive and it doesn't impede your senses. So they drive and do dangerous sh*t while high."
"My issue isn't the severity of the impediment. It's that people refuse to admit that it does alter the mind."
"I already have one person insist they smoke weed and drive because they know their body."
"Now imagine if someone openly said that about alcohol and how you'd react. It's a really dumb mentality to have."
"If anything I'd push for it to be illegalized ALONG WITH alcohol and cigarettes."
"But prohibition taught us that is not the way to go."
GiphyThe Same Path As Alcohol
"I believe that if it was legalized, it would become a much bigger part in society, much like how alcohol is now."
"I do have a problem with public drinking and personally view alcohol as much worse compared to marijuana."
"However, since drinking is already so ingrained in our society, it's not like we can get rid of it. I'm just hoping that weed doesn't follow in the same path as alcohol."
GiphySnake Oil
"Im so sick of all these CBD oil pyramid schemes popping up!"
"The testimonials are all, 'I broke my spine in half and had to get it surgically fused together. Now all I have to do is rub a drop of CBD on it, and the pain is gone!' "
"And I'm not against it, I actually use high grade CBD at night to help me sleep. I fucking hate going through a rep though, they always try to hard sell me on topical CBD for my back pain that's like $80 for a little jar, or $30 bath bombs."
"I have discs squeezing out of my spine, I'm pretty sure a dab of hemp oil is gonna do jack shit for that."
"And the cancer patient abuse!"
"Smoking or ingesting edibles with THC for pain management and appetite is super helpful for cancer patients, but cbd wont do anything. Not to mention getting an ounce of good weed wont set you back much, but getting a tiny vial of cbd can set you back a couple hundred bucks."
"With our healthcare system in the states, we know damn well cancer patients are already in a hole of debt. I'm worried legalizing will encourage these CBD lies."
"It's the new snake oil."
"My MIL is that person. She's was touting its Indica strains ability to outright cure cancer the last I saw her."
- aledayis
"Cancer patients get hit very hard with the cannabis oil scams. What kind of evil sh*t do you need to be to take advantage of desperate people?"
"I agree with you about people thinking its the grand cure all, but that's why I feel we SHOULD legalize."
"The main reason I want it legalize is so they can do more research on the things it does help. It's effect on tremors alone is fascinating."
GiphySo what have we really learned here? I'm not really certain.
Lots of people's reasons seemed under-informed, but just as many people had legitimate concerns.
Sure, those concerns could just as easily be applied to alcohol, but lots of Redditors admitted that and seemed to take LARGER issue with alcohol than cannabis. It was honestly difficult to find anyone (aside from the smell people) who was 100% against it.
And that, dear reader, is possibly the biggest takeaway from this. Attitudes are changing.
Sorry, D.A.R.E.—looks like we said yes to drugs. Well, cannabis at least.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
I've lost a few besties. Some through death. Some through personal growth and some just because it was time. That was an important lesson. Just like lovers, friends also outgrow one another.
I'm Exhausted
I Cant Modern Family GIF by HULUGiphy"I got tired of it being all about her all of the time. I couldn't tell her anything in my life good or bad because she would make it about herself." ~ Wide-Fig-1063
Jake
"He was the passenger in a single-car accident. The driver was drunk, showing off, and drifting on an unfamiliar dirt road in California. They found the car at the bottom of a 70-foot cliff. Everyone in the car walked away except my friend, who died instantly."
"He was already passed out drunk himself so he likely didn't feel anything, but it was still such a terrible senseless way to go. That was 10 years ago last June. He was barely 21, the nicest guy you'd ever meet, and one hell of a bassist. Miss ya, Jake." ~ FormerLurker3
No explanation...
"Best friends since we were 12. Best Man at my wedding when we were 28. Day after the wedding he never spoke to me again. No explanation. Calls and texts went unanswered. He would avoid being at any social event I would be at, which was a few because we had the same circle of friends. Tried for two years to keep that friendship alive." ~ Tionek
Trauma Tales
"I had a weird dynamic to continue because of trauma. We had been friends for most of our lives (26 years) and every conversation was all about her. I was fine with that because she had a traumatic childhood and I knew she wasn't super socially with it. I'm happy to listen when my friends need it."
"Then she just unloaded on me saying I wasn't listening enough to her problems and how I had mistreated her by not asking enough pointed questions about abuse she had suffered as a kid. This was days after a three hour call where she did all the talking and it was mostly about her abuse."
"I was six months pregnant at the time and all I could think was "do I really have the bandwidth to take care of two babies?" I haven't spoken to her since." ~ keepinitcornmeal
It's Weird
Friends Tv GIFGiphy"His wife tried to sleep with me. I didn't let it happen and I told him about it. They reconciled and had more kids, then it got weird whenever I was around so we drifted apart." ~ mycowild
Yeah, beware the partner of a loved one who is trying to trap you in a scandal. They are shady. Take that drama and run fast and far.
Why?
Peering Looking GIF by MOODMANGiphy"No idea. He slowly stopped answering calls, texts, emails... his wife, even more so. I'd occasionally stop by to see them and everything appeared to be OK. They never stopped to see us, even though his mother lived just a few miles away. I just quit trying." ~ NagromTrebloc
Jared
"It was October 16, 2015. I was working from home that day when I saw a call from him at around 9:15am. I had to ignore the call because I was in an online meeting. At 2pm my Dad calls my phone, which is unusual since he knows I'm working. I answer it."
"He is speaking quietly and very calmly. He says, "Son, I love you very much. I have some terrible news. Jared passed away this morning." Jared's wife was calling me from his phone to say she found him dead. I couldn't process what he was saying."
"I said, "That's not funny. Jared, his wife and me and my wife were supposed to meet up next weekend for dinner." Jared had sleep apnea surgery that same week. He had taken a painkiller and Benadryl together. It stopped his heart. He died 2 days before his 40th birthday. We were friends since grade school."
"We did everything together, he was my brother. He was the best man at my wedding earlier that year. I had just shared my son's heartbeat with him via a text message 2 days before. Jared was so excited to be his crazy uncle. I miss him every single day." ~ SnooCapers1425
You First
"Codependency. I became basically obsessed with her and it just became too toxic. I had to cut it off because it was eating me up inside and she didn't deserve how I was treating her." ~ SuccessfulEggplant82
"Good on you for recognizing the problem you were having. It takes a lot (and I mean a crap ton) for an individual to come to this realization. Most people like to live in denial or fight it. I did the same thing and by the time I realized it, it was to late. I hope your able to get through it." ~ Nakanon85
Oh Well...
"I noticed that he never came to my place to catch up. I stopped going over to his place to see how long until he noticed.... It's been 5 years now 🤷♂️." ~ Mr_Nonesuch
"Over the years I have observed in number of friendships that its always me that makes the call. They always are delighted to hear from me. If I organise something they come. They just don't make the effort. I have been best man five times so I don't think that its because the friendships are not valued. I don't know, am I missing something?" ~ Yarray2
She's Gone...
"My ex wife. Even after we split we stayed close, co-parenting, helping each other out. She died 3.5 years ago. I could have made peace I think but after her death and our daughter was living with me full time I found out about how abusive my ex had been to her when I was around and it felt like losing her all over."
"Like I thought I knew who she was in the 13 years we'd had both together and separated, but it turns out I knew nothing. Now I'm just angry about it, like how dare you get to do this crap and then leave me to clean up your mess."
"How dare you have peace when my daughter has nothing but struggles and therapy. I felt like we were robbed of the good person, the good mother I thought she was." ~ Scarecrowqueen
Far Far Away...
Jake Gyllenhaal Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Friend moved to the other side of the planet, with their spouse, to be nearer to both their families. I never understood what real friendship was before friend was in my life; and now they're alive, but not here." ~ ClutchCrgo
One of the natural parts of life... saying goodbye. Or in some cases getting ghosted and forgotten. Either way, chin up.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Reddit user Mompkey asked:
"Which species do you think would be dominant if humans didn't exist?"
Caninae
"Wolves. They can, and have, successfully adapted to most of the various biomes on the planet."
"There's a reason we domesticated them and took them everywhere with us."
Giphy
Blattodea
"Cockroaches"
"I would agree, but now I'm wondering if our presence is the reason cockroaches have thrived as well as they have."
GiphySelachimorpha
"Sharks, they are the dominant species on 3/4 of the Earth's surface already, they have survived mass extinctions and would thrive even more without humans mucking up their habitat."
Giphy
Nobody
"Humans are the only species that seek to dominate others. Other animals just want to live in the balance of nature. They're just trying to survive, they don't have time to take over the world."
"Pinky and The Brain theme song played in my head."
GiphyPrimates
"Other primates."
"We've killed off so many throughout history but of the ones that remains intelligence and versatility would be the key factors. Their food supply and habitat would greatly increase in our absence so with this being said.........primates."
"We are simply the superior primate therefore we are the dominant species. That opposable thumb is a mf when you have a large brain."
"Gorillas"
Giphy
Hominidae
"Wouldn't it be just another off shoot of humans like the Neanderthal or heidelbergensis?"
GiphyWhile we'll probably never know definitively which species would truly thrive without us around, it's still fun to speculate.
Do you have thoughts?
Comment below!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.