Catch It If You Can
Chasing after a paper blowing on the ground.
Getting chased by geese or farm animals.
When kids mistakenly embrace a stranger thinking it's their parent. As a child this is terrifying, as an adult, it's adorable and hilarious.
You Need a Mercedes
Failing at parallel parking with a crowd of onloookers.
People who take like a whole 10 seconds to actually fall over. Drunk or on icy surfaces. They try so hard to right themselves but always come crashing down.
Smugly and confidently shouting the wrong answer in class.
My knee dislocated in a public toilet yesterday and I was sitting on the floor with my arse out on the cold tile floor and about 15 people around me while waiting for an ambulance.
Someone getting pestered by a wasp to the extent that they run away, flapping their arms at the tiny yellow and black bringer of doom.
Love In All the Wrong Places
Accidentally saying "I love you" when leaving a coworker due to habit.
Present Company Excepted
Unintentionally insulting someone. The other day I was complaining about someone I don't like.
Friend : "Oh! It turns out I'm related to her. Her dad is an a-hole too."
Me : "Ahhh so it runs in the family!" cringe "Oh.. I wasn't referring to you!"
Bursting out in laughter while drinking something.
Or alternatively, getting wet from a person bursting out laughing while drinking.
Waving back at someone whose wave wasn't intended for you.
Love Is All Around
I got a call from my First Sergeant once while doing medical coverage at a crew served weapons range... Definitely said I love you as I was about to hang up. What I didn't know was that he was using me as an example of a soldier ready to be promoted to Sergeant in a NCOPD. (noncommisioned officer professional development breifing) I was on speaker to every NCO in my unit. And the Sergeant Major who had stopped in to offer some guidance.
I went from being Doc, to being Cupid.
Meant to do That
Watching someone almost trip then do the half jog to walk it off casually.
Regrets? I Have a Few
Telling embarrassing things while being drunk. Bonus points if you don't remember anything you said the next day.
And then they slowly come back to you in agonising drips throughout the day until you're curled up in a permanent cringe at the sheer awfulness.
And then a week later when you open a beer to relax, you start to think about the embarrassing stuff again. And then you're sitting there (with) a bottle of shame in your hands.
That's a Different Kind of Court
Calling the judge "Your majesty."
People do this?
You generally refer to them as your honor but some people get confused.
"Thank you your majesty."
"Thats 'your honor' to you."
"Of course, I swear it on my honor, your majesty."
I die laughing every time I watch those videos of sheep (goats) attacking villagers and people on motorcycles.
Being stuck in a conversation you don't want to be having.
I once answered in the wrong language and my massive brainfart didn't allow me to understand that what I was listening to was French so I kept answering all their questions and replying to their comments in German. Solid five minutes of "What is going on?"
This happened to me abroad. A professor in Japan asked me a question in Japanese and I answered in Spanish. This son-of-a-b*tch replied back in Spanish.
You should've kept changing languages until one of you broke.
Getting sh*t on by an animal.
When a comedian roasts someone in the crowd.
Are You In the Wrong Room?
When somebody answers a question so wrong that you start to wonder if they're even in that class or they sat down in the wrong lecture.
Falling into a Koi Pond.
Better Them Than Me
Watching someone try to teach a 100% incompetent coworker a new skill.
Letting It All Hang Out
When someone's trousers split.
Driving forward a few feet just as a friend is about to try and open the car door.
I have almost pissed my pants laughing at other's frustrations and considered murder as an option while being the victim.
That Stuff They Make You Drink
Prepping for a colonoscopy.
Oh god, those DRINKS. WHY DO THEY TASTE LIKE WHAT THEY CAUSE.
My girlfriend got soaked when a car drove through a puddle on the way to work this morning. It was hilarious, I laughed and laughed..... then she made a joke about how at least someone made her wet.....
Then I cried on the inside a little
Someone getting scared. I scared the sh*t out of my SO when I got home from work a few months ago. Saw the TV on when I was heading up the stairs so I figured he was still up. I heard him turning the TV off right when I was at the top of the stairs so it was dark in our bedroom.
I jumped through the doorway and yelled, "Boo!" in my high pitched little girl voice. He shrieked at the top of his lungs , like I could hear genuine fear in his voice. I really didn't expect him to get that scared, he said he was falling asleep as I got home and that's why he didn't hear me when I opened the garage door and bounded up the stairs.
I can't help but laugh every time I think about it. Like a full on deep belly laugh. But I swear if he ever did that to me I'd be pissed for weeks.
Ice, Ice Baby
Falling/slipping on ice.
Note: Comments have been edited for clarity.