People Share The Extremely Embarrassing Things They Saw Other People Do

A short horror story: You trip. You stumble, throwing your arms all over the place, looking like a crazy person--but you don't fall. You compose yourself, and quietly say, "I'm glad nobody saw that." An amused voice from just over your shoulder says: "I did."

Such is our bad luck when we think nobody is watching: somebody almost definitely is. And so Reddit user Hjaaal wanted to know:

What's the most embarrassing thing you saw someone doing because they thought nobody was watching?

Puddle Aerobics

I was in college and it was a very rainy day. I was late to class and happened to see a guy with a pretty heavy looking backpack, looking like he was going to jump off a diving board. He was rocking his arms, bending his knees enough to look like he was gonna sit down.

Instead of walking around it, he was trying to jump over a huge -ss puddle. I watched him prep himself for a good 20 seconds..which was probably way too long to be staring at someone.

He attempted said jump, slipped backwards due to his huge backpack, and got absolutely soaked. I feel bad saying I laughed quite hard.

Misunderstood

I had discovered online porn (I mean really, who didn't) but was unaware of the browser history being able to be checked by anyone else using the family computer. My interest at the time was a website called 'myfriendshotmom.com' which I would frequently visit when trying to release teenage angst.

One night at dinner, my parents sat us kids down to talk to us about something very disturbing they found in the browser history and had very serious looks on their faces. Naturally, having grown up in a Christian home with 2 other brothers, I knew my porn obsession was found out. My parents began to talk to us about violence and their worry about the glorification of violence online etc. Naturally I was very confused as this was not the discussion I was expecting.

My mother, obviously the more jolted by what she found online blurted out, "I'm just very worried because someone in this family has been looking at a website called 'my friend shot mom' and it's made me very uncomfortable".

I didn't say a f-cking word to correct her. Crisis averted.

It Didn't Need To Happen...

Ok so back when I was still living with mom she had one of her friends up for the week with her son. There wasn't enough room in the house for them to stay inside so they decided to camp out in the backyard. now I was working construction at the time and was up pretty early to get ready. the one morning while i was putting my lunch together i looked out the kitchen window to see my moms friend squating over a plastic bag taking a sh-t in it right there in the open. one of the most disgusting things ive ever seen. and then she proceeds to walk inside the with her bag of fresh sh-t to get rid of it and stops dead in her tracks when she realises that im up....to this day i dont understand why if her plan was to come inside to get rid of it why she didnt just walk inside and use the fully functional toilet and just cut out squating over a plastic bag in the middle of a field.

Grossgrossgross

When I was in Military Base Traning(in Austria) we used to jogg every morning with our drill sergeant. We were stationed an an airport and so our route contained usually one airport round. This day, our sergeant was in a good mood and when we started to run, he asked us if we got cigarettes with us. Most of us did, so he said fine and started running, we behind him.

We just started running and were next to a slender part of a forest, when suddenly our drill sergeant made a turn to the left into the forest. The forest was probably 10 meters (30 feet) wide, and we went inside. He told us we wont be running today, and lets chill here in the bushes in the forest, hang out and have fun while smoking some cigarettes. We just had to pay attention to the side where we went in, that no other jogging groups would see us so we and our drill sergeant wont get in trouble. We also had to take care of the other side of the forest exit, as there was a small fence and a sidewalk where civilians sometimes passed.

So we were inbetween the trees, probably 20 young men with our drill sergeant. If somebody would pass from either side and look into the forest, he would have seen us. But we were quite remote there so we didnt expect anyone to pass.

Suddenly, two elder women(probably around 50-60) walked along the fence. The sergeant saw it and told us to shut up. We watched those women pass by. They didnt see us so we continued to chat.

After about 5 minutes, one of the two women again came along. She probably brought the other home or something and was heading back. Again, we shut up and watched her walking. When she was at our height, she stopped. She stopped and started looking back and forth, seemingly checking if someone was around. She looked to every side, except to the forest. Then, she pulled down her pants, got on her knees, and took a huge dump right next to us. We were probably 2-3 meters away and EXPLODED in (silent) laughter.

WHY

Every summer my friends and I go to a waterpark. As we are adults we often like to drink while we're at the waterpark. So one summer we were sitting in the bar area that the waterpark at set up enjoying overpriced beer, there was a woman sitting at a picnic table just below the balcony of the bar. She slides back so that her rear end is hanging over the bench and just pees right there on the AstroTurf while still chatting with her friends. She thought that no one had seen her and that she had gotten away with it, but we saw and thought it was absolutely disgusting.

When Will My Reflection Show...

I used to work in an office right next to a FedEx facility. Our windows were reflective, and faced the FedEx truck parking lot.

Sometimes we'd see FedEx employees change into their uniforms behind the trucks, not realizing that the mirrored surface that was right next to them was actually an office with about ten people watching them.

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

When I was in 3rd grade I let out a ginormous loud fart I thought would be silent. I was mortified. Everyone in the class erupted with laughter and the teacher started asking "who did that?!". I was so afraid someone would point to me but before they could a kid, no, a HERO, named Alex raised his hand and said it was him. He was always a weird kid so people believed it and that was that. Idk if he was being nice or just likes taking credit for farts but I wish I could thank him.

Being A Kid Again

I do freelance work at sports events. One time, between setup and the time the game started, I was standing at the top of a hill that leads up to the building. I looked around to make sure nobody was there, then I laid down and rolled down that shiz. It was super steep, and it was awesome. I got up, brushed myself off, and went back inside to work.

Found out the next week that my boss had seen me, and had told everybody on the crew. Joy.

Secret Gymnastics

Whenever my shift is quiet, I take a couple minutes break and go practise doing handstands on the nice grass by our building. I'm awful and can hold it for about 2 seconds before I flip over and land hard on my arse.

Last week the security guy offhandedly mentioned there's a CCTV camera that points almost exactly at that location. He's been watching me handstand for about 2 weeks

Power Positions

At parties I would often dedicate myself a look in the mirror with a smile for a confidence boost, but this one time there was another guy doing the exact same thing, rising his eyebrow and smooching at himself.

There was a silent agreement not to talk about it. I still wonder if he remembers.

Not The Pillow, The Wall

When I was like 6 years old I saw my first make out scene in a movie and didn't quite understand what they were doing and why. I wanted to be an actress so bad when I was little so when the movie was over, I went to my room and reenacted the kissing scene with the wall lol. My grandpa walked by, I turned around in embarrassment because I heard someone walk by, and he just walked away with a weird look on his face. :( lol the cringe hurts

That's Not Ice Cream

I once saw a girl holding an ice cream cone in one hand, and her phone in the other lick the screen of her phone. When we made eye contact and she realized I'd seen it happen, she looked like she was going to die.

Tanzen

I'm the wierdo.

I usually take my iPod with me when I go to the shops, because it's the only "me" time I get. Unbeknown to me, I had a tendency to....bop my head along to the music....and more. I was simply enjoying my "me" time. This had garnered the attention of the staff. I became known as the dancing customer. I discovered that one when I couldn't find something I wanted, and asked one of the staff to help me. From an aisle over, I heard him ask an older colleague for the specific thing I'd requested and then say "Yeah, it's the dancing lady asking". That's how I found out I wasn't always just listening to the music.

I can't dance to save my life. I'm sure the CCTV logs are very interesting.

WHY?

I was in a meeting in my client's boardroom. The boardroom was at ground level and the exterior glass was mirrored on the outside but see through from inside. In the middle of the meeting, some sketchy looking dude comes over and starts picking his teeth in the mirror. Then he looks left, looks right, sees he has privacy, so he whips out his junk and starts inspecting it in the mirror. My client just got up, walked over to the glass, and gave a little rap on the window in front of him. He put his junk away and moved on.

Finger Guns

Ugh okay, so basically there was a lot of construction going on in our house and one fine morning, I forgot to lock the f-cking door before bathing. My back was towards the wall, but there was a glass vase by which I could see the scene behind. One of the workers accidentally got in and froze. During this time I had the option of-

a) pretending I did not see him

b) shrieking for good god.

I went with option 'a' because my mom would have pretty much fired the poor guy who accidentally saw her daughter's butt, but he literally just stood there for 30 frozen horrific seconds before running the f-ck away. If you think that was awkward imagine the guy working on our house, and my room for a week after this. He couldn't look at me, I would constantly have a smile-grimace hybrid on my face when I'd see him, and on the third last day when we crossed each other and he gave me finger guns before scampering away like he'd seen an octopus with the face of James Franco.

Maneuver

I'm a canoe guide, and being the guide I'm usually in the back of the canoe, steering. On this particular day, because it was training and I was with a bunch of my coworkers, I was in the front.

When I'm in the back, I'll periodically check to see if any plumber's crack is showing by basically feeling my lower back/top of my -ss crack with my finger, then readjust my underwear if needed. I'm in the back of the boat, so no one sees that.

However, on this day I did it in the front, giving the guy in the back of the boat a full showing of me fingering my -ss crack. He promptly said "I think that's a back-of-boat maneuver."

My Parcel

I once purchased adult toys online. I came home to find the parcel containing these items OPEN sitting on my bed with a note from my mum saying "sorry, thought it was my parcel". The shame was unbearable and I still cringe when I think about it. I tried to deflect by texting her to ask if she had any wrapping paper I could use for 'the joke present I bought for my friend's 21st'. Eurghhhh

That's Me Nose

Oh, it was me. I was waiting for an online interview for an internship program and while the interviewer was away I remembered I still had my septum piercing on, so obviously i pushed it inside my nose before anyone noticed. As I was adjusting the hidden piercing, the interviewer got online and saw me basically picking on my nose like an -sshole. We had an awful 5 seconds of silence before she decided to proceed with the interview like nothing happened. I got the internship and now have to avoid her around the company because she always seems to remember and look at me funny.

A Delight

I have a lovely elderly neighbor across the way who tends her garden almost daily. She is sweet as can be, and doesn't bother a fly. Our houses are pretty far apart, I'm not a good judge of distances but it's far enough that she feels concealed.

When I sit on my front porch, I can see her clear as day wherever she is in her yard, but she can't see me because of the arrangment of plants between us, and my slightly higher elevation.

She always, ALWAYS, adjusts herself, like overtly. She has a routine every time she stands up and moves, from kneeling on a planting cushion.

She stands up, pulls off her garden gloves, does a little wiggle shake, jams her entire hand down the back of her pants and evacuates a wedge, pulls her bra strap down where it rode up in the back, scoops each tit back into place, and moves down to a new spot to garden.

She repeats this maybe 25 times before she calls it a day. I sit outside and smoke a bowl and watch her and it delights the hell out of me (in a she's a cute, funny old lady way, not a sexual way, just to be clear.)