Ever find yourself people watching, and catch someone doing something stupid?
Look around a store, and you might catch a fellow shopper make a silly mistake, like dropping a product or tripping on their feet. But Redditor u/Dead---inside asked people, "What's the dumbest thing you've seen someone do at a store?" And people answered with stories that go beyond simple human error. From bumbling thieves to bloody accidents, here are the best of the stories they shared.
10. They sent this thief packing
"My friend had someone purchase a suitcase. When she opened it as a matter of standard practice at check out, the rookie shoplifter had filled it with clothes. They just stammered that they didn't know any of that was in there. So she pulled it all out and put it to the side, at which point the cutomer decided they didn't want to buy the suitcase after all."
9. That mom should be more worried
Giphy"I watched a toddler drink nail polish. His mom didn't do anything besides take the bottle and do the weird violent angry whisper thing."
8. Those doors are tricky
"A guy stopped mid-cycle in the revolving door to pick up something he dropped on the floor and got whacked hard in the rear when another customer entered."
7. He looked like a fool
"Worked at a pet store and watched a guy try and shove a huge aquarium filter in his hoodie. Then he had the balls to approach the counter with this protruding abnormally from his belly and tried to buy something.
I laughed and told him to return it or I'd call the cops, he looked shook up, waddled back to the aisle and put it on the shelf. Told him on the way out to never return."
6. This woman didn't want milk in her milkshake
Giphy"Okay so I was at work in an ice cream shop. A lady comes in and orders a vanilla milkshake. She gets this nasty look on her face when I add the milk, but shrugs it off when I ask her about it. So I'm ringing her out, and she pays, and then goes right to my owner and complains about the service. 'I'd like to let you know that the 'boy' who just served me (I'm 19) was very rude to me.' 'What'd he do ma'am.' 'He made my milkshake with milk in it and I'm lactose intolerant. I demand a refund and for him to be fired.' I'm just sitting here dumbfounded how anyone could be so stupid. Ice cream, by it's very nature, Has milk."
5. Where do watermelons come from?
"The woman who was arguing with me (i was working in the produce dept of a grocery store) about how she didn't like how one side of the watermelon was flatter, paler, and a little dirty. I said, 'That's just how they get when they are on the ground.'
'What do you mean, 'when they are on the ground'?'
she thought watermelons grew on trees."
4. The rudest shoppers
"As someone who worked in retail, people who get things, put it in their cart, walk around the store, then realize they don't want it and plop it where they currently are.
Extra hate if it is a cold/hot item."
3. There are better solutions, sir.
"Not a store but restaurant. I had a gentlemen specifically request pecans on the side of his salad. When I arrived with his request he was very upset that they weren't far away enough....he was allergic. Didn't want them in the first place."
2. I'm glad this employee refused this dumb request
"I worked at a home improvement retailer. One guy wanted to buy an attic ladder; there's a display, but the actual product is stored in the overhead. So I got a lift truck and got one down for him. Dude wants to look at it; again, there's a display, but whatever, I open the box up so he can look at it. He decides yeah, that's what he wants.
M-Fer demands that I get another one down for him. His reason? 'The box is open on this one'.
(I refused)"
1. Think before you pull a trigger
"Years ago my Mom rented a large staple gun to upholster some chairs but it kept jamming.
Off we go to the rental place, the guy says 'Jamming, let's just see' and............................................... places it over the palm of his hand and pulls the trigger twice.
Blood everywhere, two large staples in his palm. Good thinking Bob!"
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" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
Redditor AdRealistic03 wanted to discuss the shocking things we've all learned about our armed forces, so they asked:
"What are some NSFW secrets about the military?"
The military is littered with secrets, and I love secrets. Tell me more...
Hey Girl
Fight Dance GIF by tv2norgeGiphy"Been in for a long while now, the most apt descriptor I've heard:"
"'Gayest bunch of straight dudes you'll ever meet.'"
Tak_Jaehon
Baby Guards
"Our Air Force’s most critical asset, nuclear weapons, are primarily guarded by a bunch of really bored teenagers."
it_helper
"Navy is the same. The guy that Naruto runs to the galley is the same one that stands watch over the nuclear reactor."
satanyourdarklord
"Lowest ranks pull guard duties more often."
"Who's the lowest rank? That baby faced 18 year old who just joined up."
"Guard duties are up there as one of the most bone taskings going."
Daewoo40
The Side Hustle
"Sometimes the guy that administers the drug test is the same one that you get the drugs from."
Lazy-Plum-19
"I was our unit's drug test guy. I smoked weed every day because I obviously would not drug test myself. I was also really good at it so they wouldn't give the job to someone else. I could get our tests done and completed without mistakes in like 1/5 of the time of my predecessor. Didn't sell drugs, but I've given plenty away."
Changnesia_survivor
Oh My
"Swingers exist on every single base in the world, in Sigonella, they would use different boxes of detergent in the windows to show what they were into and what age range they were looking for. Patrolling the housing area became much more interesting when you see who lives in the houses and what they’re into."
catfartzz
Multi-Purpose
Hungry Labor Day GIF by BounceGiphy"The food boxes that come in literally say 'For prison and military use only.'"
BlackLotus8888
"My husband was watching a documentary with people in prison and was like hey we have the same blankets on the ship."
PricklyPix
No matter who eats it, it's been said nobody thinks any of that food tastes good.
How many?
Oh My Reaction GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"I was selected 6 times in a row to be a urinalysis checker. Have seen over 2000 penises involuntarily."
Jarhead-Coffee
Bad Intentions
"The number of people who get sick and tired of being in the service who will go out and do some drug or another to get kicked out. During our Iraq/Afghanistan years, you wouldn't believe how many people would purposely pee hot or, females would intentionally get pregnant to get out of going."
Blackhawk-388
Not Sexy
"A friend of mine in the special forces told me since they are out in the field a lot, they get plenty of ticks. And while you can inspect yourself fairly well, you can’t inspect everything, so they pair up and spread their cheeks, and your mate has to stare into your anus to check you for ticks in there. Not very glamorous."
Litenpes
Health Issues
Okaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"Looooooottttts of chlamydia."
Triatomine
"My unit in Okinawa had the highest STD rate for the island. I was so glad I wasn't a part of any of that."
FightingNymph
Trashed
"Our oceans are loaded with garbage. LOADED."
"I would watch the long trail of garbage follow my ship, in the wake, as crew dumped the s**t off the fantail. Every single day. Miles and miles of trash. And this was just one ship. This was just one nation. Our oceans are full of garbage that will take centuries to erode. Our waters are littered with sh*t that fish are eating and dying on."
eyehate
Sounds like there is A LOT of fraternization in our Armed services.
Be careful out there.
