Mom, Dad, calm down. It's like you're looking for a reason to get mad at me.
Sometimes parents are unable to articulate their feelings constructively, which ends up being taken out on us. And sometimes, it's really dumb.
Here were some of the answers.
It Ain't My Room
Refusing to clean my older brothers room. I actually got thrown out of the house for the day, which was great because I hung out with the dog and my dad sneaked me food. Overall a good day except for my mom being extremely angry at me for no reason.
No Smellin' Salts
I had a little mesh bag full of laundry scent booster crystal things in my sock drawer to keep my socks smelling fresh. My mom went through all of my sh*t one day because she was pissed at me, found it, and accused me of smoking meth. She didn't let me leave the house for a month, despite me showing her the bottle of scent crystals that SHE bought sitting in our laundry room, and offering numerous times to take a full drug panel. She said I was lying.
You Have Done This
My mom complained I wore jeans too much, and never wore nice pants. So I started wearing nice pants since her complaining constantly isn't worth dealing with. A week later she asked me why I never wore jeans and if they didn't fit. She got really angry when I explained why.
Tradition Is A Curse
My south asian mom was furious when she found me texting a boy from school. She gave me this whole lecture about how this is against our values, I'm not allowed to date, etc. The second I protest that this is just a friend and I'm not interested in him at all, she immediately does a 180 and goes "why not?! Are you a gay?!"
A couple of my friends and I still ask each other "are you a gay?" when someone thinks some guy is hot but someone else doesn't.
Self Imposed Contradictions
I used to have all these crazy rules. I didn't have a cell phone cause my mom was worried I would text boys but whenever I was out with my friends I had to call by 5:00 no matter what. And if I forgot or wasn't with a friend that had a cell phone I was screwed.
I started working at a smoothie place after school my sophomore AND junior year of high school. I decided to quit for my senior year to focus on graduating and hanging with my friends and my mom was FURIOUS at me.
My mom would pick me up from hanging out with my friends and for about six months she'd smell my fingers randomly to see if I was smoking weed or cigarettes and sometimes ask if I was pregnant. She'd also check my movie tickets and ask me about the movie I saw to make sure we weren't sneaking into different theaters.
She always said she was hard on me because I can get pregnant.
Poor Poor Kitty
I was under the deck, looking for our cat. There was a dirt ramp that opened wide at the bottom, and the cat sprinted up there, and I was trying to get him out. He disappeared, going too deep. I come out from under the deck, and my dad pulled in the driveway.
"What were you doing?"
"Looking for the cat."
"That's stupid. What were you really doing? Don't lie."
"The cat just..."
"Seriously. If you don't tell me what you were doing, you're going to be grounded."
"The... I.. cat..."
Grounded two weeks. I mentioned this many, many years later, and he had no recollection whatsoever. I was just playing with the cat, damn it.
Breaking my foot at like 12-13
my mom thought i was faking it to miss school and stomped on my broken foot and hit with a broom, funny thing i heard my foot crack and called her right when it happened and from her tone i got scared and dragged my foot to school that afternoon, it got swollen after 2 minutes so every step hurt and was worse on the trip back but you know turns out the X-RAY showed i was right, she also blames a friend of mine and says he pushed me at school for my foot to break but i called her 5 minutes after i left home when it happened.... still haven't heard a "sorry"...
For spending my paper route money - I wasn't the one who spent it, my mom was, but when the newspaper told them I didn't turn in their portion of the money, my mom got mad at me and acted like I was the one who had done it, then made me get another job to pay back the paper for the money she'd kept, but she kept that money, too. That's how my parents were.
Beware The Internet
Me and my dad were talking about something -- I can't remember what -- and for some reason the names of Obama's daughters came up. I could remember one (Sasha), but not the other, so when we'd finished chatting I looked it up. Next time the conversation went that way, a day or so later, I said 'Sasha and Malia', and his face just dropped.
'Did you look that up?' he asked.
Well, he was outraged at the idea. It was like he took personal offence at the idea that someone who didn't know something might go out of their way to learn it for no reason other than to know it. His logic seems to be that only the stuff he already knows is important, because if it was important and he didn't know it, he'd have looked it up already, so anything he doesn't know is obviously pointless and dumb.
He's not fun when it comes to Trivial Pursuit.
World's Most Disgruntled Robber
I was grounded when I was 16 because I was mistaken for being a robber in my ex boyfriend's neighborhood. Some old person tipped them off saying they thought they saw me leap a 10 foot wall. I'm 5'2", so this is highly improbable. Before I knew it, there were six cop cars following me and when they stopped to investigate my car, they asked me, "did you happen to jump a ten foot wall and steal some stuff from this house? Do you have any weapons, TVs, couches, whatever, in your car?" All I had was a bunch of paintings and art supplies in my back seat.
Dumbest night of my life, like what the f*ck.
The Sun, An Enemy
My stepdad is a very OCD control freak that always obsessed about our cars. He would call or text my sister to make sure she had her sunshade up in her car. She once said she did and a few minutes later he called furious and screaming because he had driven to the school and saw that her car didn't have the sunshade up.
I was watching my brother was climb our dog to ride him like a horse when he was 3. He jumped and managed to lay on his stomach, before he could do anything he fell face first in the pavement getting a nasty cut in his forehead. He immediately started crying and ran inside to my parents. They came screaming asking what I've done to my brother and before I could say anything I'm grounded until my brother told them what really happened.
Grounded For Life
Not me, but my boyfriend and his mother.
His phone was set to be "turned off" from 10pm until 7am. A text had come through sometime between those hours, his mom took his phone and snapped it in half, along with grounding him for a few months. His sister then told their mom "This text came from this state..meaning a different time zone... so before 10pm" She never ungrounded him.
What The Henna?
I got grounded twice throughout my teen years. One of those lasted 24 hours until a misunderstanding got cleared up.
The only time I got grounded for real, for a few weeks, was because I got a tattoo.
It was a henna tattoo, my mom knew what they were (I'd gotten henna before), it was a simple floral pattern and nothing inappropriate, and my mom even dyes her hair with henna so she can't pretend it's some horrible poison.
Also, my sister got two real tattoos as soon as she turned 18 and got into less trouble than I did for that tiny flower.
I said it was kind of funny that english was considered the "world's language" when it isn't even the most spoken language in the world, and my dad started yelling at me for being a dumb*ss and rude and that i had to respect the "business language" and be glad i was able to speak it at all. "How is it not the most spoken language in the world if everyone speaks it" ......... we're brazilian. He doesn't speak english.
My mother yelled at me once in Middle School because my math report sheet had the grading scale at the bottom and she thought it was my grades and they were getting progressively lower. I'm pretty sure I had an A or a B in that class but she chose to focus on that. She kept screaming at me and screamed even harder when I started backing to a corner because I was so freaked out. I realized that it was the grading scale the next day during class and when I told her she didn't even apologize. It was just so stupid because she literally had nothing to be angry about, she just always thought the worst of me. Incidents like this are why I can't stand people screaming at me, I start to shut down.