I had a friend years ago. We'll call her Anne. Anne had a mother who seemed to believe every conspiracy theory in the book. I don't know how in the world she managed to keep any of these beliefs straight, especially when one conspiracy theory appeared to contradict the other. I often rolled my eyes when she'd go on her rants. Anne's mother was a nice enough lady... she just happened to live in an entirely different reality from the rest of us.
But Anne's mother isn't the only parent out there who believes in nonsense. That's what we were reminded after Redditor Crazed_waffle_party asked the online community,
"What's the dumbest thing your parents believe in?"
"They will not use..."
"They will not use their cordless phone in a thunderstorm as they are concerned they may get electrocuted."
I had an acquaintance like this... I don't know how she made it through the entire time that we had cordless phones. The way she inconvenienced herself was unreal.
"My mother hates my guts..."
"My mother hates my guts because one of my dad's ex-girlfriends told her that daughters are the reincarnation of the father's lover from another lifetime. She knew my mother was dumb as rocks and would believe something like that. So my mother got jealous and made my life hell.
Apparently, all my brain cells came from my father instead of my egg donor."
It truly sounds like it. Aren't you glad?
"My dad thinks..."
"My dad thinks the stars are not real and that they are actually satellites spying on us."
Is this the plot of the next M. Night Shyamalan movie?
"Last year..."
"Last year the whole family had to explain to my mom that dragons did not exist and I find it so funny."
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Took her that long to figure out, huh? Well, it's a shame that they don't exist, because they're awesome.
"It is impossible..."
"My father believes that no one likes blondes because he doesn't like them. It is impossible to convince him. No, he's not kidding. This is not the only obvious mistake he is holding on to."
This is very... specific. He's never seen Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, has he? There's a certain actress named Marilyn Monroe and plenty of people liked her (and still like her).
"If I were to believe..."
"If I were to believe my dad, every ailment could be solved by just going outside and getting some fresh air."
When people say this about depression, it's infuriating.
"They are being inserted..."
"My parents believe that nanobots are in vaccines and Covid tests. They are being inserted into everybody and will spontaneously detonate at some point to be determined by movable goalposts."
"He warned me..."
"My dad believed earnestly that if a bed had been unused for a long time, it would be ice cold and hard to warm up. He warned me about this many times when I came to stay in their guest room."
Again... this is so specific. Where do people get this stuff from?!
"Definitely not as bad..."
"Waiting 30 minutes to swim after eating. Definitely not as bad as some other replies, but it drove me crazy every summer growing up."
"My mom believes using any..."
"My mom believes using any pharmaceutical medications will lead to drug addiction."
Hey, no one said our parents are perfect. They're just people. And they're not immune to believe some really ridiculous, stupid stuff.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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