Excuses, excuses; we've all heard them, and some are truly unbelievable. There are times that the unbelievable is true, though.


Reddit user Goldquarter asked:

"What is the craziest excuse someone has given you that ended up being true?"

Explosions Are Definitely A Valid Excuse

A student emailed me and said he missed the midterm because his car blew up. He sent a picture of him with the burnt car and police in the background and he looked just \*so\* defeated. The email went something like this:

"Dear professor,
I'm sorry for missing the midterm, and thi is going to sound like an excuse , but my car blew up. I'd really love a chance to re-write the midterm. If not....well, sorry again. I had bigger fish to fry"


I let him re-write the midterm lol.

pomegranatefresh

Quake!

Giphy

Was playing an online game and had a party member say "f*ck gotta go, quake!"

Fortunately they were unhurt, because it was the horrendous Christchurch earthquake that IIRC killed dozens.

sirgog

Glad He Got It Back

A guy we worked with didn't turn up one day, we tried calling him and no answer. After a few days me and a coworker went to his house, no answer at the door, his car wasn't in his driveway. After a couple of weeks we figure he has taken off somewhere and the boss put through his termination papers for not showing up.

About a month after that, the guy rocks up on a Monday morning in uniform ready to work. Turns out he had been in a car accident and was in a coma for weeks. He had no immediate family and no way to let us know.

He ended up getting his job back.

hkhunterkiller1984

Cats Will Be Cats

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My friend came to class back in high school with a ripped uniform shirt and told us the lions got it.

As it turns out his mum was a vet for a zoo and had two cubs in her backyard. They saw his shirt flapping on the line and did what cats do: shredded it.

BrokenConcerto

SWAT Excuse

A co-worker of mine said he couldn't come into work because the police wouldn't let him. Everyone at work called bullshit and then he sent us a picture from his window of a SWAT sniper using his car to monitor another building in his complex. Apparently there was a hostage situation. Everyone ended up being safe!

Nataliewassmart

Peacock Just Wants To Be Loved

I was late to work once because a peacock was in the middle of the road. Boss didn't believe me until the next day when the peacock blocked the road when he was coming in.

alexandria1994

Definitive Proof

I'm a high school teacher. ~10 years ago I had a student say he didn't do the homework because his car caught fire on his ride home, and his textbook was in the back seat. I was suspicious, but he quickly produced the badly charred textbook, which was also completely waterlogged from when the fire department put out the fire, and asked me if I could issue him a new one.

It's possible that he burned and soaked his textbook in an effort to getting out of doing the homework. If that was the case, bravo.

meatfrappe

You're Not Allowed

Someone was running late for something due to a traffic accident, and a road being closed. So they tried an alternate route, and that was closed for a different incident. So they called, said that they'd try another way. The third route was blocked for something else. They called again, said they gave up and went back home. Checked the news, and they weren't making any of it up - there was no escape from their neighbourhood for awhile that day, several main roads were shut down for various reasons.

SingingSky

They Were Having A Magical Time

A friend told me he was late for tennis because he was stranded on a huge floaty unicorn on Lake Huron.

Turns out him and his girl rode out on the lake and couldn't get back. He had to call me and the coast guard because the unicorn was too big to drag back, for reference it was 60lbs not inflated or wet.

SarinaMelee

Swans Are Jerks

"Sorry mate a swan wouldn't let me out the car"

Turns out it was true as he was on the phone to his mum screaming and she takes great joy telling us this story.

Your-brother-yes

Explosions Are Surprisingly Common

'My neighbors house blew up and the cops wont let anyone leave'.

Was an active meth lab and he couldn't smell squat, apparently.

-Paretio

A Compelling Excuse

Guy never showed up to work, and we couldn't get hold of him of on the phone.

Turns out he had been trapped inside a bank during a robbery that became a hostage situation. Nobody hurt thankfully.

-User Account Deleted

A Pointed Refusal

Asking someone I knew to go to the bar and hearing "I cant I got stabbed" turned out to be true. He sent me the video footage from the bar he was stabbed at. Over a game of pool arguing over the rules. The guy waited in bushes until bar close and stabbed him in the back. Cops did get the guy and the victim was okay after the hospital.

Dschmidt8

The Miracle Of Life

An employee was late to work because she had to scrub down her car after her friend gave birth in it. They were on their way to the hospital and didn't get there fast enough.

KellyAnn3106

OUCH!

I had a student that claimed his eyes were swollen shut from poison ivy. I didn't believe him, but another teacher dropped off some assignments at his house, and said it was true. That must have sucked.

teacheralways

Did They Not Know Who They'd Hired?

Hired an employee via phone interview and she didn't show up first day at work. Called her up, she said she did come to work and received orientation. HR said she they didn't give anyone orientation..

Turns out she went to wrong address and they had an orientation for a dozen new hires and she somehow got in and tagged along.

-NappingYG

He Just Wanted To Visit

I got a call once to go cover a shift for a co-worker as she has a horse at her house and she has to wait for it to be picked up. I laughed when I heard it but she sent me photos and apologized about me having to do her shift explaining the horse belongs to her mother and she often rides it to her house because the neighbour kids like it and stuff.

Turns out the horse got out the stables and decides to go for a long walk overnight and she was startled by some rattling at the open window in the living room. She thought somebody had broken in so ran in with a knife and found a horse head sticking through her open window into the living room like "Sup, got food? I've been walking all night and I'm hungry"
Her parents came with their horse trailer thing to get it but it took a while before they could arrive.

-PingPongBoom

Sounds About Right

My cat tried to eat my homework when I was a kid. My teacher got a good laughs from the fang marks all over the page when I showed them.

-_xNova

Sometimes You Don't Want Proof

"I'm gonna be late, there's a naked crackhead on my roof. Waiting for police."

"You can just say you're running late, dude"


**sends picture message of a naked crackhead on his roof**

"Wow, there is a naked crackhead on your roof. Do what you gotta do, I'll cover."

-sir_joe_cool

Just Viewing My New Menagerie

My cousin told me he wasn't coming over because he was watching the elephant and giraffe in my aunt's backyard.

Turns out a truck carrying circus animals tipped over and the animals spilled out of the trailer.
-Briickhouse

People Explain Which Words Just Sound Inappropriate
Ben White/Unsplash

We're all adults who are totally mature and don't, at all, giggle a little bit on the inside when someone talks about what conditions are like on Uranus.

Yeah just kidding, that's hilarious.

Uranus is our favorite heavenly body.

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People Break Down The Most Disgusting Bad Habits
Robert Recker/GettyImages

As much as people try to put on a good face in public, many of them have idiosyncratic behavior–like involuntary foot-tapping–they are ashamed of having.

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People Share Their Favorite Curse World Alternatives
Photo by Usman Yousaf on Unsplash

People have different levels of tolerance when it comes to profanity.

And some people can't stand the sound of rude or vulgar language so much that they can't bring themselves to say these naughty words themselves.

But when anyone reaches a high level of anger or frustration, they still might need a verbal outlet.

And instead find themselves coming up with an alternative word, which helps them release their anger, but won't offend any nearby ears.

Redditor No-Citron5628 was curious to hear people's favorite alternatives to curse words, leading them to ask:

"What is your best swear word alternative?"
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People Share The Most Bada** Villain Quotes Of All-Time
Photo by Sander Sammy on Unsplash

When we think of iconic movie quotes, there are several which come instantly to mind.

"Here's looking at you, kid."

"Love is never having to say you're sorry."

"I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse."

Appropriately, the ones that might haunt us the most, are those delivered by villains, who linger in our memories not only by their creepy attire and presence but by their devious choice of words.

Frightening us long after the credits stop rolling.

Redditor N_the_character was eager to hear what the Reddit community considered the best quotes from both Hollywood's legendary villains, as well as some lesser-known antagonists from film, TV, and video games, leading them to ask:

"What's the most bada** villain quote?"

Benedict from Last Action Hero

"Benedict to youg Danny in 'Last Action Hero':"

"I should tell you that I have killed people smarter and younger than you."- S-Markt

last action hero art GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy

Donquixote Doflamingo

"Pirates are evil?"

"The Marines are righteous?"

"These terms have always changed throughout the course of history!"

"Kids who have never seen peace and kids who have never seen war have different values!"

"Those who stand at the top determine what's wrong and what's right!"

"This very place is neutral ground!"

"Justice will prevail, you say?"

"But of course it will!"

"Whoever wins this war becomes justice!"- TimeisaLie

The Man with the Midas Touch...

"Goldfinger after Bond says 'Do you expect me to talk?'

"'No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die'."- Hunk_Studly

Interrupting GIF by James Bond 007Giphy

The Last Airbender's Azula

"Dai Li: 'You've beaten me at my own game'."

"Azula: 'Don't flatter yourself. You were never even a player'."- herculesmeowlligan

Inigo Montoya, watch out!

"'Good Heavens, are you still trying to win?'"

"-the six fingered man."

Video game villains shouldn't be forgotten, ask Ghaul

“'You are not brave, you’ve merely forgotten the fear of death'."

"'Allow me to reacquaint you'.”- KentuckyBourbon94

The Good, the Bad, and the one-liners

"'When you have to shoot, shoot'."

"'Don't talk'."

"Tuco, 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly'."- jpablo680

Whiterose of Mr. Robot

“'Because Phillip, I had to ask you twice'.”- Lontano64

The final frontier indeed...

"'A true victory is to make your enemy see they were wrong to oppose you in the first place'."

"'To force them to acknowledge your greatness'."

"Gul Dukat, Deep Space Nine."- hamdingers

Deep Space Nine Dislike GIF by Star TrekGiphy

A true villain will have you quaking in your boots with just one look.

But it's with their words that they really get you.

And how they instantly go from being merely villains, to legends.