Excuses, excuses; we've all heard them, and some are truly unbelievable. There are times that the unbelievable is true, though.
Reddit user Goldquarter asked:
"What is the craziest excuse someone has given you that ended up being true?"
Explosions Are Definitely A Valid Excuse
A student emailed me and said he missed the midterm because his car blew up. He sent a picture of him with the burnt car and police in the background and he looked just \*so\* defeated. The email went something like this:
"Dear professor,
I'm sorry for missing the midterm, and thi is going to sound like an excuse , but my car blew up. I'd really love a chance to re-write the midterm. If not....well, sorry again. I had bigger fish to fry"
I let him re-write the midterm lol.
Quake!
GiphyWas playing an online game and had a party member say "f*ck gotta go, quake!"
Fortunately they were unhurt, because it was the horrendous Christchurch earthquake that IIRC killed dozens.
Glad He Got It Back
A guy we worked with didn't turn up one day, we tried calling him and no answer. After a few days me and a coworker went to his house, no answer at the door, his car wasn't in his driveway. After a couple of weeks we figure he has taken off somewhere and the boss put through his termination papers for not showing up.
About a month after that, the guy rocks up on a Monday morning in uniform ready to work. Turns out he had been in a car accident and was in a coma for weeks. He had no immediate family and no way to let us know.
He ended up getting his job back.
Cats Will Be Cats
GiphyMy friend came to class back in high school with a ripped uniform shirt and told us the lions got it.
As it turns out his mum was a vet for a zoo and had two cubs in her backyard. They saw his shirt flapping on the line and did what cats do: shredded it.
SWAT Excuse
A co-worker of mine said he couldn't come into work because the police wouldn't let him. Everyone at work called bullshit and then he sent us a picture from his window of a SWAT sniper using his car to monitor another building in his complex. Apparently there was a hostage situation. Everyone ended up being safe!
Peacock Just Wants To Be Loved
I was late to work once because a peacock was in the middle of the road. Boss didn't believe me until the next day when the peacock blocked the road when he was coming in.
Definitive Proof
I'm a high school teacher. ~10 years ago I had a student say he didn't do the homework because his car caught fire on his ride home, and his textbook was in the back seat. I was suspicious, but he quickly produced the badly charred textbook, which was also completely waterlogged from when the fire department put out the fire, and asked me if I could issue him a new one.
It's possible that he burned and soaked his textbook in an effort to getting out of doing the homework. If that was the case, bravo.
You're Not Allowed
Someone was running late for something due to a traffic accident, and a road being closed. So they tried an alternate route, and that was closed for a different incident. So they called, said that they'd try another way. The third route was blocked for something else. They called again, said they gave up and went back home. Checked the news, and they weren't making any of it up - there was no escape from their neighbourhood for awhile that day, several main roads were shut down for various reasons.
They Were Having A Magical Time
A friend told me he was late for tennis because he was stranded on a huge floaty unicorn on Lake Huron.
Turns out him and his girl rode out on the lake and couldn't get back. He had to call me and the coast guard because the unicorn was too big to drag back, for reference it was 60lbs not inflated or wet.
Swans Are Jerks
"Sorry mate a swan wouldn't let me out the car"
Turns out it was true as he was on the phone to his mum screaming and she takes great joy telling us this story.
Explosions Are Surprisingly Common
'My neighbors house blew up and the cops wont let anyone leave'.
Was an active meth lab and he couldn't smell squat, apparently.
A Compelling Excuse
Guy never showed up to work, and we couldn't get hold of him of on the phone.
Turns out he had been trapped inside a bank during a robbery that became a hostage situation. Nobody hurt thankfully.
-User Account Deleted
A Pointed Refusal
Asking someone I knew to go to the bar and hearing "I cant I got stabbed" turned out to be true. He sent me the video footage from the bar he was stabbed at. Over a game of pool arguing over the rules. The guy waited in bushes until bar close and stabbed him in the back. Cops did get the guy and the victim was okay after the hospital.
The Miracle Of Life
An employee was late to work because she had to scrub down her car after her friend gave birth in it. They were on their way to the hospital and didn't get there fast enough.
OUCH!
I had a student that claimed his eyes were swollen shut from poison ivy. I didn't believe him, but another teacher dropped off some assignments at his house, and said it was true. That must have sucked.
Did They Not Know Who They'd Hired?
Hired an employee via phone interview and she didn't show up first day at work. Called her up, she said she did come to work and received orientation. HR said she they didn't give anyone orientation..
Turns out she went to wrong address and they had an orientation for a dozen new hires and she somehow got in and tagged along.
He Just Wanted To Visit
I got a call once to go cover a shift for a co-worker as she has a horse at her house and she has to wait for it to be picked up. I laughed when I heard it but she sent me photos and apologized about me having to do her shift explaining the horse belongs to her mother and she often rides it to her house because the neighbour kids like it and stuff.
Turns out the horse got out the stables and decides to go for a long walk overnight and she was startled by some rattling at the open window in the living room. She thought somebody had broken in so ran in with a knife and found a horse head sticking through her open window into the living room like "Sup, got food? I've been walking all night and I'm hungry"
Her parents came with their horse trailer thing to get it but it took a while before they could arrive.
Sounds About Right
My cat tried to eat my homework when I was a kid. My teacher got a good laughs from the fang marks all over the page when I showed them.
Sometimes You Don't Want Proof
"I'm gonna be late, there's a naked crackhead on my roof. Waiting for police."
"You can just say you're running late, dude"
**sends picture message of a naked crackhead on his roof**
"Wow, there is a naked crackhead on your roof. Do what you gotta do, I'll cover."
Just Viewing My New Menagerie
My cousin told me he wasn't coming over because he was watching the elephant and giraffe in my aunt's backyard.
Turns out a truck carrying circus animals tipped over and the animals spilled out of the trailer.
-Briickhouse
"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
get out GIFGiphyIt's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
of montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphyEveryone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
