
That "low balance email" from the bank arrives in your inbox, and you just got paid. So what do you do?
Broke things.
u/anonymousturtle2 asked Reddit:
What's the brokest thing you've ever done?
Here are some of those 'I feel you' moments.
Banana Drama
I'd almost ran out of money in my bank account with no overdraft and it got so bad then I wanted something to eat from the supermarket so I picked a banana. But then had to put it back and pick up a smaller banana cause I couldn't afford the bigger banana.
Emotional Bags
I'm pretty sure that for about 4-6 months around the time I was 8, our meals were coming from my step-dad dumpster diving at the local Safeway. At one point I can remember him breaking down emotionally when we came home one day and someone had left three bags of groceries in our driveway right before Thanksgiving.
Shoe Crew
When I was in college I found a pair of thrown out shoes in front of an apartment. They were soaking wet but otherwise new and were my size. I took them home, washed them in the sink, dried them out, and wore them for two years.
I was that broke my shoes had holes in them, so I wasn't going to let free shoes go away....
Nutrition Is Expensive
I remember one time when I was little my mom went into a Wendy's or something like that and grabbed some crackers and ketchup for me and my brother to eat from the condiment section. That was pretty bad times. I'm just glad I can barely remember it. Lol.
Paycheck To Paycheck
Told the kids we were going to pretend to be camping for a few days. Lit candles, cooked food on the grill, opened the windows at night and took cold showers for 3 miserable days to get to the next payday because my now ex was terrible at handling money and we didn't have enough to pay the damn electric bill.
Kids thought it was great.
True Survival
I was homless in Las Vegas for a summer after a series of ridiculous events, capped off by the guy I had paid 3 months advanced rent to getting arrested for fraud and the landlord kicking us out.
I managed to get room key cards for several of the hotels in Las Vegas that people had thrown away. Then I'd stay up all night, and sleep in one of the chairs at the pool during the day. You had to show a key card to get into the pool area, but once you were in they didn't pay much attention that what you did. The pool at the Paris had a handicapped bathroom you could lock, so I'd "shower" in there.
I managed to survive through the summer on about $20 without stealing or begging. It probably helped that I was an early 20s white guy in decent clothes, I got away with a lot.
I Can Still Recall My Broke Summer
Sold plasma twice weekly to pay for food. Got my student id renewed a month after I was kicked out of school because it doubled as a free bus pass I still cant believe that worked. Popcorn was an intergrel part of my diet at the time because it was dirt cheap.
Summer 2011 was rough but now im much better off.
Plated
Put a paper plate in the sink to be washed.
Was at a friend's house for D&D and we had some BBQ before hand. Getting cleaned up and I, on reflex, put my paper plate in the sink. Later that night, my friend noticed and says, "Which of you broke mother f*ckers put this in the sink?!"
It was me. I was the broke mother f*cker.
Lapse In Payday
I had just started a new job after barely scraping by with my old one. There was a lapse in paychecks so I was super-extra-broke. At the orientation for the new gig they had snacks - granola bars, chips, fruit, etc. - so I stocked up. Grabbed a few when people weren't looking or tried to be the first in/out of the room so I could sneak more into my purse.
Fresh Food Tips
Restaurants typically have huge trash bags that take a long time to fill up. This means that dumpster diving is almost guaranteed to be disgusting. But did you know that if you wait till the end of a shift (10am, 2pm, 6pm, 10pm, and 2am) most places will have emptying the trash as an end-of-shift duty? And if you keep an eye out, you can grab food off the top of the bag that's still pretty much fresh?
Because I know that.
I Wish To Go To The Festival
I got out of an abusive relationship and was trying to make it on my own with my two girls without a dime left to my name. We were within a waiting period for food stamps and I had heard about a local event catering to kids while at work, so I decided to go. (It was January of 2013.) The venue had lots of different games and activities for kids and right near the door, there was a booth promoting healthy food choices for kids. My kids were so excited to see apples and oranges (we hadn't seen fresh fruits/veggies for a long while) that they both ended up asking the attendant if they could have two. The booths were only supposed to hand out to kids, but I was not turned down when I asked if I could take a granola bar. We took them home and ate them over the next day and a half. It was the best granola bar I've ever had in my life. So glad we braved subzero temps to walk to the "festival" that day. It saved us.
Gascapades
There was a point in my life where I had zero money and zero prospects and just said f*ck it and started just blatantly stealing sh*t figuring I'd just kill myself if i ever ended up in any legal trouble.
The highlights of this period was that every time I would run out gas I would just go to a random gas station in a town about 45 minutes away from my house, fill my tank and then just drive away. I must have stolen like $400+ dollars worth of gas in my life.
2 years later and im kind of scared that my past will catch up with me somehow, as I'm in a much better spot in my life right now. I havent gone to that town since the last time I did a gas run in case they have my picture or something.
Lookin Poor
It's hard to decide. From eating condiments at Del taco (In which they felt bad and surprised me with a free meal), to making "bread cookies" which is a slice of white bread rolled into a ball that you take super tiny bites out of with your eyes closed to make it last and appreciate it (actually a favorite memory of mine from childhood)
Apparently I looked so poor before, that when I asked a man for a lighter he looked at me for a second then said "oh, no, sorry I have no change" and quickly ran off.
Legen-Dairy
One night after an evening of bar hopping I got home and scratched my nether regions after eating a bunch of sliced raw jalapeños that I picked off some leftover nachos. Drunk and in a panic, I remembered that milk supposedly nullifies spicy. I don't drink milk aside from a little bit in my coffee, so I usually kept a quart in the fridge. I poured the rest of the quart into a whiskey glass and dipped my balls into it for a while until the burning was gone. Not thinking, I put the glass of balls-infused milk back into the fridge and went to bed.
Woke up the next morning and made a pot of coffee as usual. I went to grab the milk from the fridge and saw it in there already poured into a whiskey glass, a reminder that 1) I dipped my balls in that milk last night, 2) that's the last of my milk, and 3) I don't get paid until tomorrow.
Well heat kills germs and coffee is hot, right?
The coffee tasted fine.
Nutrient Dense
Double the dose on a serving of Metamucil (aka fiber) and loaded up in a ton of water so my (then) husband could have food for work. When we did share a meal I often ate like a third of what he did. I always said I had been munching while I cooked or that I couldn't help myself when I brought out the food. Not that he ever really noticed...
For The Puppies
My mother threw me out of the house when I was a teenager, just graduated from high school. Moved to another city and was working a minimum wage job and broke broke broke. I lived on so little but adopted a dog I named Jordon. He had a girlfriend in the apt complex that was in heat and animal control picked him up. i had adopted him from the animal shelter the year before on the day he was to be euthanized so hurried to get him out of there. I used my last $5 to bail him out (1984) and had no money for food for 4 days until my next payday. I had to give blood for orange juice and cookies which was the only meal I had in those four days.
Obviously, doing much better financially. Went to pick up medication for one of our dogs and there was a man outside of our vet's office with papers spread out on the hood of his car and he was crying. I knew. Been there. I went inside and found out he couldn't afford treatment for his pet so I paid it and went on my way.
My husband and I contribute to an 'Angel Fund' through our vet that helps others pay for their bills that are too overwhelming and keeps people from having to choose euthanasia instead of treatment.
People Share Their Very Specific Dating Restrictions
Reddit user AceofSpadesYT asked: 'What is your most specific restriction when it comes to dating?'
When it comes to dating, I have my mental checklist. The guy must be kind, intelligent, funny, and a movie buff. He must be adventurous but also doesn't mind a Netflix and Chill date night.
Most of this is similar to the mental checklists other people have. Of course, I can be flexible. If someone is nice and I'm having fun with them, they don't necessarily have to check all the boxes.
However, I have one specific dating restriction that is a dealbreaker regardless of how many boxes the person checks, and that's religion. I've never been a fan, and now I'm an atheist, and I would want my partner to be as well. That's because I want kids, and the last thing I want is for us to argue about how to raise the kids when it comes to religion.
I'm not the only person who has one specific dating restriction. Everyone has that one thing that is a dealbreaker when it comes to a romantic relationship. Redditors certainly do, and they are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor AceofSpadesYT asked:
"What is your most specific restriction when it comes to dating?"
It's Just A Joke!
"No cruel or rude pranks."
– detective_kiara
"I saw a post by someone whose boyfriend "pranked" her by pretending to be dead on the kitchen floor. That is exactly how she had found her previous partner, dead on the kitchen floor, which her current boyfriend knew. He was surprised she dumped him and didn't think it was funny."
– innocuousspeculation
We're (Not) Gonna Party!
"No party people. Nothing wrong with it, I just ain't dealing with that sh*t."
– PlantBasedStangl
"True. I like planning weekend stuff, but it has to be something meaningful - visiting a different city, movie marathon, mountain hike, fancy lunch, all okay. But... clubbing and drinking? How f**king old are we, 19? No thank you, I'm old and have no energy for listening to music I don't like while being surrounded by 50 people that I don't give a single half of a sh*t about."
– PlantBasedStangl
LOL
"Same sense of humor. I have 0 interest sharing physical space with someone who doesn't laugh with me."
– Legendary_Lamb2020
My Ears Are Bleeding!
"I'm a light sleeper. I cannot date a snorer. I can hear snores through ear plugs AND a fan blowing. It's not you, it's me."
– YourLocalOrca
At that point, it does sound like them 😂
– CuriousRedditor98
Funemployed
"Have a f**king job."
– Cuss-Mustard
"Found this difficult when I was funemployed. Was fortunate enough to be able to live off savings for a bit."
"People reacted oddly to it. “But what do you do???”"
"Was dating at the same time and some girls had the same sentiment. “You don’t have a job?”"
"I had a good enough job that I didn’t need one anymore. And one lined up 8 months from then. But there were two girls specifically who treated it as a deal breaker."
– DigNitty
"I had a similar situation. I worked a high-paying job for a few years that demanded a ton of my time and had crazy hours. It burnt me out badly and I lived off of the savings from that job for a while and tried to date now that I actually had free time. I had more money in my bank account during that time than at any other point in my life but so many people were put off by me being funemployed and assumed I was looking to leech. But I guess there’s really no way to know someone's history and hard not to assume. Now I work full-time and have way less money overall but it looks better..."
– Pinsit
Just Breathe
"No smoking. Ever. I'm not kissing an ashtray, or smelling an ashtray. Instant turn off."
–fishfood19
"100% I broke up with an old gf because she started smoking behind my back knowing I’ve got asthma and it was always a hard pass. She thought I was joking but it showed me that she was also untrustworthy."
– Jonowl89
That'll Do It
"I guess my husband restricts my dating."
– HeinousEncephalon
"My wife has the same rule. But the jokes on her, I get around it by dating her!"
– AuralRapist
Prehistoric Love
"Must like dinosaurs."
– Grungeceratops
"That goes without saying."
– Plain_Chacalaca
What's In A Name?
"Cannot have the same name as any of my relatives."
– Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
"My last ex had the same name as my Dad and I reeeeeeaally didn't like it. So, fair."
– severaltalkingducks
Be Polite
"If they’re rude to people they’ll never see again (Waitstaff, cashiers, etc) I’m out."
"I can’t respect anyone who doesn’t respect themselves, and when you’re not polite to people you’re disrespecting yourself."
– OctopusCandleCompany
God Only Knows
"When I was dating, you had to be an atheist. I don't mess with religion. And I genuinely just don't think atheists + religious people work out."
"And I know... There's going to be someone who comments (assuming there are enough upvotes) who says "I worked out with my spouse who's religious and I'm not!" but you're the exception. When it comes to making decisions long-term, how to spend your money, where you think you'll go after you die, not to mention basic morality (!), and if you have children - that's a huge hurdle."
– Lulu_42
"We worked it out. It's absolutely an exception and not the rule. Don't do it if you can avoid it."
– Alcoraiden
Let's Move Tonight (Literally)
"They need to be ok with cold weather."
"I grew up in the north, live in the south, and I'm tolerating it until I can move back north. If someone says they hate the cold it's an instant turn-off because I don't want to drag someone into a climate they hate."
"The same thing also applies to walkability. I want to move somewhere walkable, and I hope to meet someone with that same goal rather than try to talk them into it."
– ThePresidentCantSwim
"Let me know when you find this mythical northern walkable community."
– Partner-Elijah
My Purr-fect Match
"Cat has to approve."
– Possible-Source-2454
Non-Negotiable
"They need to be male. Kind of important."
– RMHaney
"So weird, I want the complete opposite."
– eightvo
Yeah, the male thing is kind of important for me too!
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments.
Life is full of shock and surprise.
Apparently, that is part of the fun.
Who hasn't been left stunned by life events?
We always think we're immune to way too many things.
Anything and everything is possible.
It's important to be ready.
Redditor Bob_the_peasant wanted to hear about the things that have left people SHOOK, so they asked:
"What 'That can’t happen to me' thing happened to you?'"
I haven't been left that shocked that often.
I'm always expecting the worst, so I'm prepared.
But you never know.
I'm Dead
"A snake fell out of a tree and bit me on the head."
"ETA: I have always been more scared of snakes than anyone I know, so it’s just so ironic that this happened to me of all people."
amanitachill
Crash Into Me
"A car crashed through my kitchen last year."
aster636
"I woke up to a truck parking in my bathtub 2 weeks before Christmas a few years ago. I watched my sink roll past my bedroom door followed by a hubcap. The driver managed to cross a median, 3-lane road, up an embankment, through an iron fence and between trees. He'd been involved in an altercation nearby and was fleeing the scene."
anjie59k
Hot Air
"My family and I were in a hot air balloon crash."
GymDoll2000
"My friend had one crash into her pool when she was a kid."
Environmental-Car481
This is why hot air balloons and skydiving are just a HELL no for me.
Always have. Always will.
Tragic
"My wife cheated on me with my best friend. They’re moving in together next month. I’m in a new city thousands of miles away. I found out a month ago."
Tssodie
Bad Penguin
"Everyone else’s stories are very sad so here’s something a bit lighter. I’ve mentioned this story before but I got bitten on the neck by a penguin."
"I was at an event where the local zoo had a penguin and owl sitting on tables with handlers so you could take a picture next to them. The penguin went for my glass of wine, I moved the wine, and it bit me on the neck hard enough to bruise. They removed the penguin after that. 😂."
archaeologistbarbie
All Gone
"Our house burned in a wildfire, we lost absolutely everything we owned and only salvaged a single coffee 3 cup."
"On the good side: There was a boy I crushed on all through high school. We went to summer camp together and I adored him. We ended up getting together in our 20s after reconnecting, and have now been together more than 20 years, married almost 17. We’re as madly in love as ever."
toomuchisjustenough
Good Luck
"Homelessness. It came swiftly and out of nowhere. had no savings and the landlord sold the house I was in. couldn’t afford a new place so lived in my car with my dog for a few months. ended up finding community assistance and got into an apartment."
jumbospicyslimjim
"I can’t even imagine being in that situation. Hopefully, this is just the start of things turning around for you. Sending you good energy!"
frappbarqueen
Early Michael Myers
"About 10 years ago, I was stabbed in the arm with a flathead screwdriver. It was a coworker whom I had previously gotten along well with. He had stopped taking benzos and smoking weed a few days before and was on a hair trigger. I said something sarcastic, and he just snapped."
Mr_Spaghetti_Hands
Bad Landing
"I was lying on the beach and a seagull flying very high took a poop and it went straight in my mouth."
Competitive_Show6205
This is why I say... "Never trust a seagull!"
They are minions of the devil.
What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.
Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:
"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"
These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.
Good Clean Fun
"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."
– MrDDog06
"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."
– Bogus_34
Act Of Unwrinkling
"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."
– eerie_white_glow
"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."
"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."
– xdq
Our solo actions can spark joy.
Big Brother Is Watching
"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."
– Bec_121
"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."
– doeswaspsmakehoney
The Multi-Tasker
"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."
– thickening_agent
Releasing The Kraken
"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."
– therapoootic
"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."
– TheWarmestHugz
Ultimate Comfort
"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."
– crazyloomis
Some people are obsessed with collecting things.
So Kawai
"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."
– HavingNotAttained
It's A Staple
"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."
"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."
– _CozyLavender_
Not Caring Anymore
"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."
– Bi-Beast
"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"
– deanie1970
Honorable mentions start here.
The Savior
"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."
– sky_kitten89
Hero Of The Moment
"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"
"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."
– chris14020
Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?
Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.
As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.
We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."
Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.
History is riddled with moments of absurdity.
So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.
A Redditor asked:
"What’s an event in history that is so ridiculous it sounds fake?"
Moostaken Identity
"Hannibal saved his army by tying torches to the horns of 5,000 cows and driving them in one direction."
"The Romans thought they were the enemy army and converged on them, while Hannibal quietly snuck his 10,000 man force out of the valley by another route."
~ Marxbrosburner
War Without Casualties
"That time Denmark and Canada (I think) had a 'war' over Hans island."
"Every time a Navy vessel drove by they picked up the flag of the over nation, planted their own and left a bottle of alcohol."
"I heard it stopped not that long ago."
~ FairyQueen89
"It also means that both Canada and Denmark now share a land border with more than one country."
"Also (jokingly) means that Canada could potentially join the EU, as it now borders an EU nation."
~ millijuna
Oh, 💩
"The Erfurt Latrine Disaster occurred on 26 July 1184, when Henry VI, King of Germany (later Holy Roman Emperor), held a Hoftag (informal assembly) in the Petersberg Citadel in Erfurt."
"On the morning of 26 July, the combined weight of the assembled nobles caused the wooden second story floor of the building to collapse and most of them fell through into the latrine cesspit below the ground floor, where about 60 of them drowned in liquid excrement."
~ amerkanische_Frosch
Running On Empty
"The 1904 Olympic Marathon in St. Louis."
"32 athletes took part, but only 14 were able to finish—there was only one water station in the entire 26-mile course. The 'winner' was later disqualified because they found out he drove half the race in his car."
"The new winner (the guy who came in second) had to be carried over the finish line by his trainers because they’d been dosing him the whole time with a strange mixture of strychnine, brandy, and egg whites."
"Several people almost died of internal injuries. Multiple runners stole things from passersby."
"Most people in the race weren’t even Olympic-level athletes, just amateur runners, many of whom didn’t even have to run a full marathon to qualify."
~ Blacl-Owl
Stonewalled
"When two perfectly working pistols failed to fire on US President Andrew Jackson who then beat his would-be-assassin so badly that the presidential security detail had to pull him off to save the man's life."
~ sleepwalkfromsherdog
The Log Shot First
"The guy who founded Scientology once engaged in a multi-day naval battle with a log. He would then go on to commit an act of war against Mexico."
~ Duck_Whistle
"In June 1942, Hubbard was given command of a patrol boat at the Boston Navy Yard, but he was relieved after the yard commandant wrote that Hubbard was 'not temperamentally fitted for independent command'."
"In 1943, Hubbard was given command of a submarine chaser, but only five hours into the shakedown cruise, Hubbard believed he had detected an enemy submarine. Hubbard and crew spent the next 68 hours engaged in combat."
"An investigation concluded that Hubbard had likely mistaken a 'known magnetic deposit' for an enemy sub. The following month, Hubbard unwittingly fired upon Mexican territory and was relieved of command."
"In 1944, Hubbard served aboard the USS Algol before being transferred. The night before his departure, Hubbard reported the discovery of an attempted sabotage."
"I believe he had his men fire into hills in Baja California. He must not have realized that you can’t just use another country for target practice."
~ csfshrink
Bling, Bling
"The Field of the Cloth of Gold, where King Henry VIII of England and King Francis I of France tried to out-bling each other."
"The fact that two monkeys covered in gold leaf were far from the most ostentatious display is a good indication of how tasteful it was."
~ notatravis
"I assumed you meant two statues of monkeys in gold leaf."
"But no, actual real-life monkeys. Somebody painted actual real-life monkeys gold."
~ Youre_so_damn_fat
Sorry We Can't Shoot You
"When America went to war with Spain, the Spanish forgot to tell their territory, Guam.
"The US sent a single warship to the island where they took 13 shots at the fort."
"The leaders on the island rowed out to apologize they couldn't return their 'salute' because they had no gunpowder."
"That is why Guam is a US territory."
~ Wetworth
Ribbit
"The Great Windham Frog War."
"In 1754 Windham, Connecticut was still a frontier settlement. One hot night the residents awoke to gruesome sounds that convinced them that the local Natives were attacking."
"Throughout the night they strove to drive off the attackers with steady gunfire. In the morning they crept out, to find thousands of dead frogs who had spent the night competing for the dwindling water."
"Rather than being ashamed, this has become a central part of the town’s character. The town’s symbol is a frog and the bridge is decorated with large frogs at each corner."
~ DdraigGwyn
Psych!
"Operation Mincemeat."
"Basically, the British dressed a random dead guy in a military uniform, put fake invasion plans in his pocket, and dropped him on the shore of Spain."
"The Spanish found the body (and invasion plans) and informed Germany."
"Germany, believing the invasion plans were real, sent an army to Greece—which is exactly what the Brits wanted, because they were actually going to invade Sicily."
~ ThePinkTeenager
They Got Worms
"For a very long time the Roman empire was able to acquire silk through trade over 'the silk road' to China, but never able to unlock the secrets of producing it domestically themselves."
"Until 552AD, when two monks preaching in India then travelled to China, where they witnessed the guarded methods of using the live silk worm to spin the famous thread."
"Knowing the importance of what they'd learned, the monks returned to Constantinople to report directly to the emperor Justinian."
"He personally met the monks, heard all the details of what they'd seen, then asked them to return to China and find a way of smuggling these worms back to the empire."
"They agreed, and prepared for the 2 year ~6,500km (4,000mi) trek back to China on foot, hoof and wheel."
"Once back in China they acquired either eggs or young larvae, since the adults are too delicate for transport, and tucked them into hollowed bamboo canes for the long journey straight back home."
"Once the monks made it back to Constantinople (modern Istanbul, Turkey), domestic silk production slowly ramped up and the need for long journeys along the 'silk road' ramped down."
"Over time, this allowed the same type of silk monopoly which China had enjoyed through the prior centuries to now be established in the Mediterranean, becoming one of the bedrocks of the Byzantine economy for the next 700 years.It's crazy to think about these two guys."
"1500 years before you or I were born, making their second multi-year, 6,500km trek back from China, smuggling two bamboo canes full of bugs which would fuel the economy of one of the world's largest civilizations for the next 700 years."
"I wonder if they knew and understood these possibilities when they went to scoop the worms from their baskets in China...Imagine the anxiety trying to keep them hidden and alive the whole way back!"
~ ChipHazardous
Ape 💩
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War."
"It sounds like something right out of a Planet of The Apes movie."
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War, also known as the Four-Year War, was a violent conflict between two communities of chimpanzees in Gombe Stream National Park in the Kigoma region of Tanzania between 1974 and 1978."
"The two groups were once unified in the Kasakela community. By 1974, researcher Jane Goodall noticed the community splintering."
"Over a span of eight months, a large party of chimpanzees separated themselves into the southern area of Kasakela and were renamed the Kahama community. The separatists consisted of six adult males, three adult females and their young."
"The Kasakela was left with eight adult males, twelve adult females and their young."
"During the four-year conflict, all males of the Kahama community were killed, effectively disbanding the community. The victorious Kasakela then expanded into further territory but were later repelled by two other communities of chimpanzees."
~ DeadalusJones
Hong Xiuquan Christ?
"The Taiping Rebellion (1850-1864)."
"Hong Xiuquan, who failed the imperial exam on the third try to become a civil servant, had a breakdown and dreamed that he was the brother of Jesus Christ."
"He later led a revolution resulting in between 20 to 30 million deaths. That's the bloodiest civil war in the world and the toll of death surpasses the totality of casualties in WWI."
"British diplomats at the time wanted to support the revolution but later discovered that Hong Xiuquan literally never read the Bible and they thus deemed it would be disastrous if he were to get the throne."
"This historical event feels like a fever dream everytime I hear about it."
~ Freezemoon
Pied Piper
"John 'Mad Jack' Churchill was a British officer in World War Two. He’s famous because he brought along a Scottish claymore, bagpipes, and a bow and got the 'only confirmed longbow kill of the Second World War'."
"One time he was with part of his commando unit and a shell exploded and injured everyone but him, so he played a Scottish Jacobite song on his bagpipes until the Germans captured him and sent him to a prison camp."
"He promptly escaped via a tunnel he dug and almost got to the ocean before he got recaptured."
"By then, it was April 1945, and the German military was falling apart, so they let him go pretty quickly."
"He’s famous for the quote 'any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed'."
~ 3000ghosts
What absurdly, ridiculous event would you add?