People Share The Biggest Red Flag They Overlooked In A Significant Other Because They Were Hot AF
Listen to me babies... listen closely. Hot is just not worth dating if they're not also an amazing partner for you. Beauty fades, but you're going to have to deal with their personality for forever. So yes, Johnny with the 9-pack abs and buns of steel and biceps the size of your head might be gorgeous, but if he also believes that education is a tool the devil uses to pull people away from their walk with God... weeeeeeell ... yeah. Take it from me, honey, it's not going to work. Hot Johnny may pretty quickly go from just disagreeing with your educational choices to hiding your car keys from you so you can't go to class and insisting you watch televangelists with him and eat grilled cheese instead. And yes, Hot Johnny will know that school is important to you and that you're lactose intolerant, but being lactose intolerant is a lie from the devil, too.
Spoiler Alert: As far as Hot Johnny is concerned, I picked Satan over him. He's still hot, but has now started going by Johnweh and is a full-blown conspiracy theorist. I mean, great abs don't outweigh my desire for education, my need to avoid severe gastrointestinal distress, or my conviction that the world is round.
Just sayin'
One Reddit user asked:
What's the biggest red flag you overlooked because your significant other was so hot?
And now I feel better. Apparently tons of us have our own Hot Johnny stories. Here are some of my favorites, edited for language where needed. If you learn anything from these cautionary tales, it should be that if friends or family warn you - maybe you should listen.
"Sacrifice"
"Sacrifice is something other people do for me"
Apparently I was dating a Disney villain and didn't notice.
At Least She Was Honest
I watched her be abusive and manipulative towards the guy she was dating when I met her and we were still just friends. For some reason I thought it wouldn't be like that with me. It was.
She also told me herself, when we first started dating, that she was really f*cked up and that most people who dated her ended up hating her. I didn't believe it. She turned out to be really f*cked up, and I ended up hating her.
Dad Warned Me
Her father told me days before we got married that she was a severe narcissist and incapable of loving anyone but herself. Thinking back, all I had were red flags, no green flags really at all.
I should of turned in the parking lot of that Cracker Barrel, got in my vehicle and drove away. But I didn't, and I've basically been miserable since.
Neon Warning Sign
I ignored the biggest flashing neon sign warning about my ex that came from a friend of his. She told me:
"He is going to be very hard to love because he is always looking for a fight and thinks he has something to prove. I'm not trying to tell you what to do but I'm just warning you about it. If you think you're up to the task then go for it but I just wanted to let you know."
I wish I would have heeded her warning.
Being Negative
As we got to know each other she'd tell me about a lot of the sh*tty people she'd had in her life, who'd treated her poorly or caused drama for no reason. Over time it became more and more obvious that her idea of "toxic drama-starter" translated to "anyone who tells her the truth about her own terrible behavior."
I watched her treat a waitress like trash for something the waitress couldn't control, and when I called her out on it she said she couldn't believe I'd attack her like that, and I should support her 100% no matter what she did. In her own mind, every action she took was justified, and anyone who said differently was "being negative", and she "didn't need that in her life."
- shaidyn
Greek God
"I'm mentally unstable, emotionally manipulative, and will probably hurt you."
Oh, but he was physically a Greek god.
Zoolander
He was dumber than a rock. I swear to Christ he was the walking inspiration for Derek Zoolander. Walking and screwing were about the only things he could do without breaking something or causing something to go wrong. He:
-Attempted to wash (my) dishes with laundry soap
-Was apparently unfamiliar with two-knob showers and couldn't figure out how to make a hot shower happen at my place, until he asked
-Could not, to save his life, remember where I lived or what apartment I was in, even after coming over five times
-Thought the US president had the same unilateral powers and reign as a monarch
-Confused the 4th of July with Presidents Day, assumed his work schedule was incorrect for scheduling him on Presidents Day as they must be closed, and simply did not go in
-Consistently told me our star signs were "plutonic" together (still unsure what he meant)
-Upon learning that shelter dogs were always fixed, asked me why there were so many puppies then
I made it through three weeks. If I'd have stayed with him I'd have had to develop a heroic drinking problem just to cope. Good lord was he hot though, I seriously didn't want to admit he was also profoundly dumb.
Red Flag About Myself
Everyone warned me he was (and is) noncommittal.
Proceeded to date him with the idea of:
"But what about ME?! Who wouldn't want to commit to ME?!"
Also a red flag about myself. Heyo! We all have red flags to someone!
- ridicks
Catch And Release
He played the classic catch and release game with me.
Any pleasant, romantic, sweet, loving, gratuitous thing I did, he would would treat me like sh*t.
When I would show zero interest in him for being such a dick head he would treat me like royalty. He'd pull out every stop, every trick in the book to romance me and make me forget about it.
When I would be sweet again it turned him off. The more I ignored him and rejected him for being a total as$h*le, the more he wanted me. It was this weird game.
After a while I grew tired. I didn't want to play anymore.
Playstation
He got into a car wreck because he installed a PlayStation in his car and he and his friend were playing it while he was driving.
- Rustmutt
"Wait For Me!"
She followed me everywhere. I mean everywhere. If I was in the living room and was walking outside to my car to grab something, she followed with a "wait for me!" and would get really really angry if I didn't wait for her to walk 20 ft. out the door with me.
I could never do anything by myself, and it was especially uncomfortable in groups when people would notice and question it. She ended up being really controlling (no sh!t) and abusive.
Mayo
I asked my girlfriend what my biggest red flag was and without even pausing, she said "Mayonnaise."
I like it, she hates it, we don't understand each other, and we've been together over two years.
Like An Animal
Probably the biggest red flag was when his father, before we started living together, said to me: "Be careful, he is like an animal."
He didn't know how to clean after himself, played games for whole days. Normally, I don't mind games, but he neglected his responsibilities, college and hobbies. I tried to help him, but he wouldn't let me in, unless he was drunk. It was really a tiring time for me.
At Least She Warned Him
Two months into our relationship she told me every relationship she had been in had ended within 3 months as she had cheated on everyone she had ever dated, and she was worried as she really liked me and didn't want to do that to me. She then said if we ever broke up she'd have to move as she wouldn't be able to stay in the same city.
I didn't pay much attention as:
a) She was really hot
b) I thought our relationship would be different.
Exactly a year later she cheated on me, and subsequently moved to a new country.
That Goth Cleavage
Girl I dated briefly in my late teens informed me during our first conversation that she was a practicing Witch. Which is fine I don't mean to poop on anyone's spiritual beliefs. But It came up very frequently when we would talk and it escalated into some truly banana-pants crazy shit.
Which I was 100% fine ignoring because she was a smokin' hot Goth girl with amazing cleavage and I was a horny teenager.
Living With His "Collection"
Hoarder.... hoarder, did I say Hoarder? We've never been able to live together, I keep my place (and sanity) and he lives with his "collection "
We've been together for 25 years, so I guess we need to go shopping for a place big enough for "everything"... like maybe an abandoned football stadium......or airplane hangar....
He Looks So Hot When...
He believes in conspiracy theories like Bigfoot and strange stuff in the sky. Who am I to judge? He looks so hot when he watches his weird shows.
Defensive Demonstrations
My ex would ask me "How would you react if you were attacked?" and demanded demonstrations of my defense tactics. He also 'collected' knives, after moving in together he started getting violent and I realized how dangerous the situation was. We were together for two years.
Double Life
Never in the year we dated did she introduce me to any of her friends. Found out she had like a total double life going on.
We're still friends though and she admitted she's afraid to open up and have both lives collide.
Still might try to date her again lol.
Memes
Dated a girl a couple years ago who had the personality of a brick wall with the Pepe meme graffitied on it. All she could do was speak about the memes she saw on Instagram or about the makeup tutorial she had just watched. Ask her about her life? Responds with a meme, about school? Meme. Literally anything to her could be related to memes and it drove me nuts.
We did not last long .
H/T: Reddit
I would love to know how people don't fear death.
I mean, it's the end. Life will be over. That kind of sucks.
Yet there are people who find tranquility in it.
Can you teach the rest of us?
Redditor deensuk wanted to hear from everyone who has a calmness about the heading to the afterlife. They asked:
"People who are not scared of death, why?"
I have a constant fear of death. I wanna perfect the ending of "Death Becomes Her" so I can live forever.
Before
"I'm not scared of death because of working in health care I was around it so much. I AM scared of what leads to death, however."
Full-Mulberry5020
Why now?
"Why should I be scared now of something that's only going to happen at the end of my life?"
User Deleted
"I did this cult thing called the landmark forum and I actually did like their “meaning of life”: the meaning of life is that there is no meaning. Life is empty and meaningless. There is no answer."
"Life is what you make of it and every persons answer is equally valid because there is no meaning to life. Life exists as, basically, an accident, we are all here by complete accident, there’s no great mystery, it’s all biology and you are 100% free to make life about whatever it is you want."
Conservative_HalfWit
Death and I are good friends...
"I was very sick as a child. Spent ages 7-20 in and out of hospital due to kidney issues. Lost a kidney at 28. Almost died during the surgery to removed the dead kidney due to blood loss. Had 5 surgeries back to back during the next 2 years. Twice they had difficulties bringing me out of anesthesia."
"Found my favorite aunt dead in her bed when I was 22. Watched my best friend die from a brain tumor at 30. Death has been a constant force in my life. Sometimes just on the edges waiting, sometimes unexpected staring me in the face. I'm not afraid because it's always been there. I now work in healthcare. Death and I are good friends."
Tiny_Teach_5466
No Worries
"Because it's coming for us all, sooner or later. So there's no point in worrying about it. I am much more concerned about day to day minutiae. The Lars von Trier film Melancholia starring Kirstin Dunst portrayed this perfectly. If there was an asteroid hurtling towards the earth, I'd probably be more preoccupied with worrying about whether I left the back light on or not."
Giallo_submarine
It's Over
"Because no one has ever made it out alive, and I was dead for an eternity before I was alive, and didn't suffer the slightest inconvenience because of it."
MarshallApplewhiteDo
I never thought about the before much. I hope the before is quick.
The Effects
"I hope that when my times comes it will be merciful. My uncle had a stroke, he is paralyzed. My grandmother is 91, but is losing all her memories of her life. Death does not scare me, what could be left of me before I die is what terrifies me."
M1ssy_M3
No Terror
"It’s like when the writer Nabokov said that he saw a picture one time, a picture of before he was born. It was a picture of his mother, his brother and sister that were older than him, but he had not been born yet. He said that when he saw that picture there was no terror in him, even though he was looking at a picture where he didn’t exist."
im_on-the_can
state of nonexistence...
"I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of dying. Death is just the state of nonexistence I experienced before I was born. I don't remember it because I didn't exist yet. Death will be the same way. I just don't want the transition to be marked by pain and sorrow at things left unfinished. I want it to be quick, painless, and with me surrounded by love."
Wazula42
I'm Gone...
"Because once I die, I won't know it. I won't miss people or regret things or feel pain or sadness about anything. I might fear being sick and slowly dying, just having to live with the knowledge that it's all going to end and this is the last time I'll ever see the people I love or taste good food or hear good music. That sounds almost unbearable. But death isn't even a thing, it's just having done something (died)."
"It's like virginity, it's a made-up state of being that just says whether or not you've experienced a specific occurrence. Once I die, I'm gone. My corpse will be the empty wrapper I used to be in, just garbage to be disposed of in whatever way makes my survivors feel better. I'll be switched off. If I don't worry about what the light feels after the bulb burns out, why would I be afraid of being dead?"
SallyHeap
At Peace
"I’m scared now because I have young kids. Once my kids are old enough to be on their own I imagine the fear will subside and I’ll have a more relaxed approach."
User Deleted
Some very interesting perspectives. May it all calm peacefully and with great mercy for us all.
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Dating and the search for love and companionship... What a nightmare.
This journey plays out nothing like in the movies.
Every Prince or Princess (or everything in BTW) seems to have a touch of the psycho.
The things people say during what should be simple dinner conversation can leave a dining partner aghast.
Like... do you hear you?
Redditor detroit_michigldan wanted to discuss all the best ways to crash and burn when trying to make a romantic connection. They asked:
"You're on a date and it's going really great. What can another person say to ruin it completely?"
I once had a guy ask me if I was willing to follow him into the woods, depending on the price of the meal.
Yeah. No steak is worth that.
Plans After...
"Thanks for the ride but I have a date with someone else, I figured you wouldn't drive me if you knew I was going on a date with someone else and I really needed a ride."
"Online dating, talked to her for a while, finally got the courage to ask her out and then she said that as we got there."
iareyours
Mirror Image
“'You look just like my wife!'”
catalinachild
"I did have a guy tell me I reminded him of his son. I don’t believe English has a word to adequately describe my feelings at that time."
UnicornMagicRainbow
"That would definitely do it."
chaotica78
Third Wheel
"'Hope you don't mind if my mother joins us.'"
ofsquire
"Actually had a girl do this on a first date because she had anxiety issues. Honestly wasn’t bad except that 90% of the time she was silent and her mom talked over her."
"I didn’t mind that much and wouldn’t have minded trying again when she was more comfortable except that she was let go at the company we worked at and she deleted her social media profiles and she never responded on her number. Ah well."
Seightx
Liar
"'Hey bro aren't you gay? I made out with you last night.'"
"Random dude I've never seen before in front of my (f) date."
JHXC16
Was he lying though?
Filter Issues
"'You looked better on Tinder.'"
waqasnaseem07
"Isn’t it basic knowledge that everybody looks slightly worse than the worst picture you can find?"
no_user_ID_found
The Past
"'My ex used to do that too.'"
xxIvyOF
"Yep. I’ve definitely had two otherwise-decent-guy date-situations sour because the ex-comparisons just would not stop flowing. No woman wants to be seen as interchangeable—I’m not here to perfectly fill that ex-sized hole in your life. Focusing on the present moment and a future we could build together is a courtesy we need to grant each other in earliest dates of dating."
LarkScarlett
Powerless
"'I'm an alpha, you cant handle my top energy.'"
Midnightgay28
"I actually left a dude in the middle of dinner, in part, for saying this. I ordered an Uber under the table while pretending to listen to him. Went to the bathroom, and never came back. That was when I was young. Now I’d just say, 'How about we enjoy this meal in silence, before we head our separate ways.'”
UnicornMagicRainbow
Mommy...
"'Mother says I should be back by 9.'"
"Saying 'mother says' just feels weird."
bunnyrut
"That gives me Norman Bates vibes."
Werewolf_lover20
"'Mother says alligators are aggressive because they have an overabundance of teeth, but lack a toothbrush.'"
sodaextraiceplease
Obvs...
"'If you were going to be murdered, what method would you prefer. Purely hypothetical. Obvs.'"
Specific_Tap7296
If it looks anything like a Dateline NBC episode... RUN!
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Despite the advancement of technology rendering people left to their own devices–literally–to entertain them, there are some leisurely activities that will never go out of style.
Or so you would think.
Do people still knit to pass the time? Are people actively collecting stamps?
It depends on who's asking.
Curious to hear about hobby trends, Redditor gizehgizeh asked:
"What are once popular hobbies that are slowly dying these days?"

Before we've become conditioned to living on our phones, these activities used to keep people occupied.
Before Texting, There Was This
"Letter writing."
– littlekingMT
Literal And Tangible Joy
"Well the internet killed pen pals for sure. I do remember I had a Japanese girl for a penpal maybe back in 2007 or so. I honestly don't remember how it started, pretty sure some website, but that was a fun experience. But now I can just straight up talk to foreign people real time, lol. But yea getting a physical letter that someone took the time to write and mail still is hard to beat feelings wise."
– skyburnsred
Model Trains
"When I was growing up, every town had a model train store in it. Now I have one in region and everything else has to be bought online."
– Hairy_Effective1172
Pretty Rocks
"Don’t see anyone playing marbles anymore, I had an awesome collection in school."
– sheeple85
"I had some marbles as a kid in the 90s. My grandma got them for me and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them. I always imagined them as a thing kids in the 40s played with."
– Ryoukugan
People Were Moving Canvases
"Paintball has been dying a slow death since 2006. Sad, really."
– hobo_recycler
Before the general population began hating clutter, collecting was once a "thing."
Precious Coins
"Coin collecting... I'm a silver/gold nut and I'm always hunting for precious metal coins. whenever I go into a shop they get all excited because 'no one under 70 collects coins anymore.'"
– ThatFishySmell99
Post It
"Stamp collecting."
– spooky_scully_mulder
"Collecting in general, really. Of course there are still prominent collectors but it's slipped more into enthusiast and niche territory than being a popular hobby that you might expect anyone to have."
– iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
What A Gem
"Rockhounding was immensely popular back in the 1950's and 1960's. Personally, I think it's a fascinating and fulfilling hobby, but when I go to a meeting at a rock and gem club, I'm usually the youngest one in the room by several decades."
– filthy_lucre
People once enjoyed making things.
Admiring The View
"Stained glass. I learned how to make it from my old man, and my junior high art class teacher also taught it. Very few artisans are still around."
– brobeanzhitler
Metal Vocation
"Black smithing."
– kenworth117
"I bought a forge to try. It’s insanely hard work, and crazy expensive. I still haven’t finished a piece."
– DSentvalue
Scrapbooking
"Yeah. I'm watching the arts and crafts stores around me completely uninstalling their racks for specialty paper. Now the only thing they have is mega packs of repeating colors/images. To boot all the inclusions like papercraft/die-cut things, washi tape, scissors, stickers, etc have gotten so expensive I would rather go buy $5 bags at value village to get an assortment of things versus buying anything new. I really, really miss yard sales for the same reasons."
– Phantasmai
I envy people who have jobs that are basically their hobbies.
Not everyone gets paid doing what they actually enjoy and have a profound level of passion for.
If they do, kudos to them.
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When we first meet someone–whether through mutual friends, at school, or in a new work setting–we generally feel people out to determine if they're worth getting to know.
While the process could take time, some people make our jobs much easier after spotting instant red flags.
Curious to hear about our general radar of people, Redditor xxFluffie asked:
"What is something that makes you immediately dislike someone?"

Some people just think they are absolutely hilarious and never realize they're the only ones laughing.
Next In Line
"They laugh about having screwed someone else over. If you think you're not next, well, you'll learn."
– whiznat
Unfunny
"when you mention you don't like a thing and they immediately do that thing 'as a joke.'"
– wayfinder
Playing Devil's Advocate
"Kneejerk contrarians. People who, no matter what you say you like or believe, just have to dismiss it and say they like or think the opposite."
– BubbhaJebus
People who put others down get slammed here.
Bad Parents
"When they treat their kids sh**ty in public. I don't mean handling tantrums, setting a rule, having to hurry to the train etc. I mean perfectly normal-behaved kids getting in trouble for trailing along peacefully, looking at things, asking questions etc."
"If you don't like tiny humans who learn the world, why have them??"
– raxeira-etterath
Public Humiliation
"Treating people sh**ty in public for laughs. Like being rude to service workers because they think it’s funny. Big red flag."
– Ok_Personality_1080
Simply Uncalled For
"Someone who is a d*ck to other people or animals for no reason."
– xebt1000
Those with ulterior motives rubs people the wrong way.
The Scheme
"If they try to get me to join their MLM scheme."
– spazmcgee1
Hard Sell
"A guy I used to be friends with in high school reached out a couple of years after graduating about a business opportunity he wanted my opinion on because 'you've always been smart', then he set up a Skype call and brought some other dude into the call and they started trying to sell me on what was clearly an MLM scheme. The guy went from friend to 'I'm never talking to you again' in a matter of 10 minutes."
– Mental-Afternoon-164
A Timeline
"Good gawd, this! I've had more than one exposure to this abject bullsh**tery..."
- Back in the late 80's/early 90's I was invited to a meeting of literally the OG "Pyramid" where you're recruited to pay in, and then you go out and recruit others to pay in, and the last in line got f'kall.
- In 1995 I had a coworker try to reel me into Amway, which was a hard no.
- In 2000 it was Pampered Chef, though to be fair they did have useful products.
- In 2009 a coworker tried to get me into some stupid video calling service that was obviously stupid from the description. He even got offended when I called bullsh*t.
– Mystical_Cat
Too much ego is a no-go.
I Can Do Better
"Being a b*tch just to stroke their own ego."
"We get it, you can lift 5lbs more than the 12 year old, you don't have to rub it in their face just because you're slightly better"
– Livia_Pivia
Can't Top This
"Oh, you did <story that's been told>? That's nothing! I did <implausible story>.
"I get the whole empathy through relating common experience, and I'm someone who does that (which drives some people crazy on its own), but there's a big different by empathising through common experience, and one-upmanship."
– Tisarwat
Lacking Conversational Etiquette
"Starting to talk over me when I was already talking."
"Stop it you rude, arrogant jerk."
– R33Gtst
If one or more of these traits sound familiar to you, you're not alone.
We don't have time for braggadocios, pyramid-schemers, and conversation interrupters.
And that's just for starters.
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