We all have regrets. We've all done stupid things. It's what makes us human, after all. Once we've acknowledged that we've made a mistake, it makes us stronger and better people, right?
MasterPat32 asked: What's the biggest mistake you've ever made?
What a hard thing to live with.
"When I was 14 we learned my mother was going to die from kidney failure within a week. It wasn't very surprising at the time because she had been in multiple hospitals for a year and a half at that point due to various complications.
I had the chance to be in the room with her when they took her off life support, I wasn't. I have made some stupid mistakes in my life, but nothing compares to that. I regret not seeing her that last time so much that it haunts me to the point of tears at times."
As long as you're a better person now.
Giphy"Picking on people in high school. I was picked on in elementary and middle school and as soon I gained some popularity from being good at sports I turned into a bully.
I did it because I wanted the same people who were mean to me to like me. Every time I think back to those days I get sick to my stomach."
That takes a lot of strength.
"Not coming out sooner about sexual abuse I had experienced whenever I was a child, it took 15 years for me to muster up the courage to tell a soul. If I would have told someone earlier on I could have saved myself years of grief and received actual mental care instead of developing horrible coping methods.
I'm doing much better than I had been, thankfully, but I feel like I've lost so much of my life to it."
Looking at the positives.
Giphy"Letting other people dictate my life. Spent my childhood doing it, even up at a college I hated then flunked out of. And being under your parents' thumb and not standing up for yourself tends to lead to being an adult that is very unprepared to face the world without depending on a parent - which is likely their intention.
Breaking the cycle was hard, but worth it. And I've learned as an adult that I like the life I created for myself and don't need to bend to pressure over certain things. (having kids, etc.) So on the one-hand, I do miss a lot of things I missed out on in my early life because I let myself be controlled. On the other, there's still plenty of my life left to enjoy now that I've recognized the issue and cut it off."
Don't blame yourself.
"Not talking to my father more for the last two weeks he was alive. He and my mom were in the middle of a divorce and he was moving out. He never really talked about his feelings, never even seen him cry. I figured he would talk about it when he was ready, so I just went on business as usual. He killed himself on the day he was supposed move out. Found out later from my mom that he had pretty bad depression while they were married but never sought help.
I would give anything just to be able to go back and talk with him some more."
Yikes.
"Becoming friends with a possible psychopath.
Thank god we aren't friends anymore but she wrote stories about murdering me when she was 7 in school but I was too naive to notice she was talking about me at the time."
Learn from your mistakes.
Giphy"Not getting my bipolar daughter help when I just knew she had it when she was around three. Everyone told me I was crazy. I was right.
When I finally said f you all I'm taking her to therapy when she was six and a half she was diagnosed Bipolar, and with major depression and chronic PTSD. Different tests by different doctors over the period of a year and diagnoses all matched.
Went through the gamut of trying out different meds because the first two therapists threw the misdiagnoses of ADHD and Autism at her without testing her. (It makes me sad for truly autistic and/or ADHD kids and for their parents because those conditions are such umbrella diagnoses nowadays. True sufferers are taken far less seriously and that's infuriating.) Very common because doctors are so fearful of messing up a kid's life by labeling them with such a severe condition as Bipolar.
Finally I have her meds sorted and she's been in weekly therapy for over two years now. She practices coping tools that some adults haven't quite learned and accepted yet.
I wish I'd listened to my gut. However, around a year ago when her twin manifested the same behaviors her sister had displayed before I intervened I was quick to get her twin help. Same diagnoses.
They really never stood a chance. My maternal heritage is one bipolar person after another. Same with their father's heritage with his maternal heritage. Our genetics suck and of course we have the kind that doesn't go away.
Anyway, parents-listen to yourself if you suspect your child is mentally ill. Fuck everyone else. Fuck stigmas. Fuck non believers. Fuck natural oil armchair doctors. They can all take a shit on their own bread."
It's not your fault.
"Letting my abusive mother dictate how I felt about myself for so many years, and forgiving her when she'd put in the bare minimum of effort after years of absenteeism. If I'd ever demanded an apology and held myself up with respect she'd have shown her true colours. Instead I let myself get into situations where I relied on her because I wanted to believe I had a family who cared for me.
Her issues have nothing to do with me and it's not my responsibility to carry them. I have wonderful friends and a great sister. That's more than a lot of people get. Flogging the dead horse which is my relationship with my mother gets in the way of my gratitude for all the great things in my life."
That could've been bad.
"I forged a prescription once. The pharmacist caught on and lied to me about it and was "holding it to fill it tomorrow" when the drugs came in.
Luckily I grabbed it off the counter and ran out of the store. I would have been in deep sh!t."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact
the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Attraction is almost always instant.
So is losing attraction.
I once lost interest on a date because of how they held a fork... long story.
So when surfing the apps, we often find turnoffs immediately.
It could be a pic or a profile.
People really need to put more effort into looking at these sites.
Redditor GIazednConfused wanted to hear about all the things that make us lose our attraction immediately, so they asked:
"Men of Reddit on dating apps, what’s something you see on a woman’s profile that instantly turns you off?"
Turn ons/turn offs, it's all so easy.
I hate rude profiles.
You first
Valentines Date GIF by BumbleGiphy"If they say 'I don’t contact first' on Bumble."
nyqs81
"A lot of profiles are copy/pasted from other dating profiles they've made but I also like to think Bumble has acknowledged this by allowing gals to make the first move by sending an emoji instead of making them write something."
The_Owl_Bard
More than 1
"When it's 2-3 of the same people in every single picture and I have no idea who she is. That level of obliviousness is so unattractive. Disturbingly obvious filters."
AlmostEasy89
"Group photos make sense as PART of a profile. Your first picture should be just of you, but shots of me actually on stage or with my performance troupe are about as 'real' an image as you're gonna get of me in my element."
"A bunch of pictures of me playing video games by myself alone is a much worse sell than 'look at my huge assortment of friends and adventures we go on together.'"
Kokeshi_Is_Life
Fireworks
"If you have to state that you hate drama specifically, you LOVE drama."
elevencharles
"In my experience, the ones who hate drama are constantly surrounded by it because they started it. The ones who love it have distant friends or acquaintances who start drama, so all they have to do is sit back and watch the fireworks."
Ninjahkin
"I never realized this until you said it, but yeah, I f**king love drama, but I'm always the guy making popcorn and just watching it all unfold. If something comes up that involves me and could lead to drama, I nip that s**t in the bud before it sprouts whenever possible."
Sorcatarius
Hey. NO!
"I remember a profile like this, saying 'don't just say hey.' She referenced something about birds on her profile, which I like, so I opened with that - 'top three favorite birds, go' and then gave my list."
"Her response was 'my list: 0 birds.'"
"I recently went through a period in my life in which I got hundreds of matches, and out of them I'd say I could count on my fingers the number who actually knew how to have a conversation. It makes me so mad because before this, women had always told me that was specifically a male problem."
DiskPidge
Blah
Happy Bugs Bunny GIF by Looney TunesGiphy"‘Entertain me’ - ‘don’t be boring.’ Typically these people are the dullest and most entitled people I’ve ever interacted with."
beansff
No YOU entertain ME.
I like Catwoman
Harley Quinn Dancing GIF by DCGiphy“'I’m looking for my Joker to my Harley Quinn.'"
"Sorry, but unless it’s for cosplay or Halloween, that tells me you’re rather dysfunctional in relationships and somehow thrive in it."
JustAnOrdinaryRyan
Who?
"I love when every picture is a group picture and some have the same women in each. Bonus points if everyone is wearing sunglasses. Great... which one are you?"
"'Looking for my partner in crime.' None of the women who put that are actually down for armed robbery or money laundering."
Leadingman_
I Got Goals
"One profile I saw a while back, the woman stated that she wouldn't consider any man who makes less than 100K. There are more subtle ways to convey that: 'I want someone ambitious, driven, and successful in his career.' The way she phrased it made her look like a gold digger, especially since she wasn't making anything close to that amount."
"Edit: This was back in the early 2000s. These days, I'm sure the goalpost has moved to 200K."
foxpaws42
Rules First
"It's been a couple years, but back then I had a few 'rules' that were instant passes."
"My main rule was any corrected age. If their profile said 22 and the first line of the bio was immediately '19. Who knows if they're even the age they say they are now."
"My other rule of thumb was not having their face in their first pic, i.e. neck down shot. You'd be surprised how many had this."
Ayziak
Yuck
"Cigarette smoker. No offense to those who smoke. I personally do not like it and wouldn’t want to be with someone who does it. I’ve tried it like twice out of curiosity and instantly knew it wasn’t for me."
Safe_Nerve9644
It takes so little to like someone a little less.
These Redditors can't be alone in their turnoffs.
Do you have any non-starters? Let us know in the comments below.
Life is fleeting.
We face the end every second of the day.
We have no idea about the ticking time bombs in our bodies.
We have no clue what's around every corner we turn.
When face to face with death, the mind wonders.
Or maybe it finds peace.
Redditor LaVidaFiesta wanted to hear about the times we've been SHOOK by the aspect of dying, so they asked:
"When did you think you would die, but didn't?"
I've lost track of times I've been near death, mostly all traffic incidents.
I always start praying.
Road Hazard
Driving Jim Carrey GIF by Morgan CreekGiphy"Dated a dangerous driver. One night he decided, with me in the car, to overtake a lorry on a country road where he couldn't see crap. We were seconds from a head-on collision and I never set foot in his car again. He later had to go to prison for driving offences."
Impressive-Bench9223
So Much Blood
"When I was 17, in 1989, I got shot outside of a party in Detroit. So much blood, s**t hurt like hell, burned hotter than the sun. But twas just a flesh wound, didn't hit any vital organs."
StuckInNov1999
Palpitations
"'Minor' heart attack at 37. Nothing minor about feeling like you're drowning on land."
K1rkl4nd
"Go tell that to my dad who refused to take me to the hospital when the 19 yo me asked him to go cause I felt like something was definitely wrong with my heart when it happened 24 yo now, and my cardiologist been saying that I'm a miracle and if I didn't have an healthy and 'athletic' heart I would probably not be here anymore."
BornDifference1216
Roll With It
"My friends dragged me up to the mountains without my knowledge (i was told we were just going for a drive until we were halfway there). So I'm already at the mountain and I'm like... 'aight i guess ill just roll with it.' They had me build the fire since I'm the only one thats any good at building fires. Long story short the smoke inhalation caused me to have extreme asthma without an inhaler."
"Everyone refused to take me to the hospital the entire day. I ended up coughing so forcefully and so often that I ended up with pneumomediastinum (a hole in the lung causing air to leak into the mediastinum). Needless to say I cut off all ties with them."
Thanks_I_Hate_You
No Air
"When I woke up with an asthma attack and couldn’t breathe."
Appropriate_Tea9048
"The most frightening feeling in the world... I moved to a different city with a different climate, and my asthma attacks usually will start with coughs, but now it's just a little uncomfortable and boom, my throat is closed... Very, very scary. Hope your asthma is under control."
pixieface28
ALIVE!!
Giphy"I was diagnosed with stage 4 terminal colon cancer and given 4 months to a year. I thought I would be dead by now but I’m still alive coming up to 8 months since the diagnosis. Starting to feel a bit of pain otherwise I’m fine."
Big-End-9824
Never stop living when you can.
Fast & Furious
paul walker pw GIFGiphy"Car tried passing a truck going maybe 120kmh. I was going 100kmh. Head on. Time did slow down but it was calm just accepting I was going to die. Paramedics went to the scene expecting nobody to survive and I came out with couple minor injuries. Haven’t been scared to die since."
beansff
Disconnected
"Almost two years ago, my now ex-wife got really made at me. Way more than normal it was so bad I asked her to stop the car and let me out. She stopped, I opened the door, put my feet on the ground and she floored the car! The rear wheel ran over my arm, neck, and shoulder."
"Cracked skull , small brain bleeding loss of mass in the frontal lobe, disconnected my Brain from my nose. What I can't get over is the headlights coming back at me. She told the police the car door just opened."
lincolnstar
In my mind...
"I met with an accident where a huge bus knocked me riding a cycle. It came from behind, there were no other vehicles to be seen, and I saw what was gonna happen to me. I knew I was gonna die, but luckily, I was thrown to the other side of the road and survived with small injuries. In my mind, I was gonna die and I just could not believe I lived."
Martiallawtheology
In the Water
"I was out swimming with some friends and since I've been swimming my entire life I wasn't worried about swimming far out and diving by myself. So there I was, 150m away from the nearest person, diving in the sea. All of a sudden a sharp pain hits me in the leg and the shock causes me to breathe out. There I am, alone a couple of meters under the surface, thinking 'I'm dead if I don't calm down.'"
"With that in mind I force the pain away and start using the rest of the body to swim up with. I reach the surface and swim to shore. The whole thing lasted just a couple of seconds but it really didn't feel like it at the time. If I hadn't been swimming my whole life I could've easily died that time. Now it wasn't the closest I've been to dying but it felt the closest."
darkcyberleon
The River
Bless Jason Watkins GIF by Mammoth ScreenGiphy"I can't swim we were crossing a river I was front passenger seat and and we started taking on water my side quickly filled and my seatbelt wouldn't unbuckle."
laglagoon
Life is precious.
Never take a moment for granted.
Do you have any near-death experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
Whether or not we enjoy cleaning, we can all appreciate a calm and clean environment.
Some of us really like the "extras" of a comfortable home, like cozy blankets and pillows, soft music, and uniquely scented candles.
There are even some candle scents people would love to have in their homes but which are not available at this time.
Wondering what others liked to be surrounded with, Redditor unknownyoyo asked:
"What obscure smell would you buy a candle of?"
Fresh Lumber
"I'd love a candle that actually smells like wood. I love the smell of fresh lumber."
- BretHitmanHart84
Only '90s Kids Will Understand
"I want a candle that captures the experience of the Scholastic Book Fair."
- modestyahoo597
Emphasis on "Old"
"Ooh! A candle that actually smells like OLD books."
- misterjonathancrouch
Talk About Swoon-worthy
"Freshly baked bread."
- AmusedCrane
Oscure and Lovely
"The smell of rain on hot pavement."
- sanseriouz
Good Morning, Indeed
"I wish I could capture that smell of a clear cold morning in a boreal forest in Northeastern Ontario. Crisp, pine, lake, clear, cold, sunshine... it's a whole vibe."
- ElleRyder68
A Reverse Candle, In a Way
"The smell of a candle that's literally JUST been blown out."
- T-Bizzle
The '90s Friday Night Vibes
"I bought a candle that smells like Blockbuster and I love it. It smells like buttered popcorn, carpet, and that smell VHSs had."
- maniacalmustacheride
The Smell of Rain
"This might just be a UK thing but there's a certain smell on a cloudy day just before the rain hits and you can tell it's about to start. That's a comfortable smell for me."
"Fresh-cut grass in summer is good too."
- IndependentTax2482
Or a Whole Line of Cooking Candles
"Melted garlic butter."
- ForestCityWRX
When Nostalgia Comes Knocking
"I want a candle that smells like my old dog. It's not the most pleasant smell, but I miss that big id**t."
- Pressed_in_Pages
Pizza Rolls, Anyone?
"The smell of that friend's house you used to go to sleepovers at and spend all night playing LAN PC games together back in 7th grade and his mom bought pizza for you."
- 7point62Neato
Don't Forget Your Racket
"The smell of a freshly opened can of tennis balls."
- chefarmer
French Onion Soup
"About a year ago, I made homemade french onion soup for the first time. I spent over an hour caramelizing the onions on the stove."
"I went to the grocery store to get cheese for the recipe. As soon as I got there, three girls stopped me and asked what I was wearing. I don't wear cologne, so didn't know what they were talking about."
"They were sniffing me all over and telling me that I smell amazing. H**l, they started calling other people over to smell me."
"That's when I realized they were smelling the caramelized onions. I was pretty popular that day. If I wasn't already married, I'd make french onion soup every day!"
- Herbiethelovebug
Three Cheers for Childhood
"That smell right when you open the container of Play-Doh."
- kcc3121
Each of these scent ideas brought back comforting feelings and great memories, especially for anyone who grew up in the '90s. To be surrounded by these scents every day at home would create quite the vibe, for sure.
People Reveal The Real Reason Why They Stopped Having Sex With Their Partner Or Spouse
Whether we intend for it to be the focus of the relationship or not, one of the defining features of a romantic relationship is its physical interactions.
Anyone who deeply values physical touch might not be able to understand how a relationship could continue if the couple was no longer intimate.
Curious, Redditor cold_h*e asked:
"People who stopped having sex with their partner/husband/wife, what made you stop?"
When Health Gets in the Way
"I was on an antidepressant that shut my libido down. No desire whatsoever, and if we tried, it always ended in my failure. Slowly improved, weaned off it over six months, and things began to get better, all around."
"About that time, my wife began getting sinus headaches. It was subsequently diagnosed as an incurable brain tumor, and she was gone 18 months later. That bout of depression was a walk in the park..."
- psilome
Autoimmune Problems
"Sex hurts her (autoimmune problems)."
"It's been seven years. It turns out I love her more than I thought I could."
- redditusernamehonked
Living Stress-Free
"He has a medical problem that means he can't orgasm. Sex always ended with him getting frustrated and upset about it. So it's not worth the stress. I'd rather have him and be celibate than be with anyone else."
"It bothered us at first, but only because we were locked into the idea that married couples need to have a sex life. We went to couples counseling and basically figured out that we love each other and are happy together without sex, so why does it matter what is considered 'normal'?"
"We're a couple of happy little weirdos, and it works for us."
- NimblyUsingAliens
Morning Sickness
"My wife had morning sickness for about half of every one of her pregnancies. Women are amazing at dealing with all of that. On the plus side, after it subsided, sex was great. Just got better and better until the birth."
- fatmanwa
Coercive Marriage
"He had more experience than me, and wouldn't listen to me when I said what he was doing didn't feel good. He would tell me he knew what he was doing and to just let him."
- Tygermouse
Self-Respect
"Before my divorce, I got tired of being rejected and having promises made that were never going to be kept."
- Im_not_that_angry
Possible PTSD
"I had an accident where someone accidentally fell on my face with their knee and crushed it some years ago (not my partner though)."
"I had some surgeries after that and my face is fine now, but I found myself unable to relax during sex since then. Somehow I am not able to give up control and just let it go while doing physical activities that include two people who are physically close together."
- LimaZim
Mental Health
"My mental health has been up and down lately so sex has been a rare occurrence. We had a dry spell that lasted about a year. People underestimate how much mental health can affect a person."
- BedBoundBean
Turned Away
"I got tired of being turned down, so I gave up."
- kwunshel316
Too Many Responsibilities
"He didn’t support/help or even pull his weight, we rarely went out anywhere, and when we did, I often paid and he’d ask to use my card so it didn’t embarrass him if I was seen to be paying."
"Basically, I was giving more than I was receiving and he cared too much about image over substance. Then he expected me to be up for sex as though I could magically turn myself on like a light switch. He’d walk up to me and grope at me when I was busy. Highly bloody irritating!"
"He also suggested I needed sex therapy when the idea of sleeping with him turned me off altogether. It felt like another chore to add to my already manic list since he didn’t do much to help. Both worked full-time and my job included long travel and entertaining out of hours."
"I felt tired and resentful and no matter how I tried to approach a solution, his response was basically that he doesn’t feel inclined to help as I didn’t put out so he didn’t feel loved enough. It exhausts me just to write that."
"I never cheated just to be clear, I wasn’t getting my kicks elsewhere. I did end it though and my sexual appetite returned with my next partner."
- TheFleaBagDiary
Double-Standards
"My ex was verbally and emotionally abusive, and also a drug addict. You can't call me those names and be horrible, and then expect me to be turned on just because you take your pants off. I spent most of my marriage on the couch."
- RosyAntlers
Feeling Unattractive
"We haven't been intimate for a long time, but I've decided to stay. We have a kid and yes, it had a lot to do with the decision. I just hope I can take it until my libido dries up."
"The worst part is feeling unattractive. I take pains to make sure she knows she's beautiful, and you'd swear I don't exist unless I beg to be noticed."
"There are times when it's better, but it's always after I've almost left over it."
- carsonArtsome
Changing Over Time
"We started dating when we were 15, we were pretty much the same person as each other. Time went on and we changed as people."
"She stopped working and I gained a bit of weight with stress and being overworked. She stopped being attracted to me and we were just two completely different people from when we first met."
"It ended horribly but I’m now with a lady whom I love very much and we’re getting married later this year."
- Korncakes
Unrealistic Expectations
"I was tired of being called a cow. I was left at home every weekend while he took our only car to his friend's house 2+ hours away. I was exhausted from working four 10-hour days and then spending my three days off doing all the yard work, housework, getting groceries, and then being expected to perform like I wasn't entirely exhausted."
"I lasted two years in that marriage."
- ItsSarahMarie
Whether it's poor relationship dynamics or health concerns, there are all sorts of reasons why the physical relationship between a couple will change over time. The question ultimately is how important physical intimacy is to both people and how to make sure they both continue to feel fulfilled by the relationship.