Yeah, wrong numbers are annoying. But there might be a new, fun way to deal with these wrong number calls. Let's ask the internet, shall we?
Here were some of the coolest answers.
Just go along with the call. I used to have a phone number that was one number off from the phone number for Lowes. There was a misprint in the phone book where they listed my number for Lowes, and I used to get calls all the time. One time I decided to go with it. This guy called asking about air conditioners, and after answering his questions as best I could, I said, "Why don't you come in and have a look." He said, "Okay." I wonder if he asked for me when he got there.
I like to try to sell them insurance.
It is really funny when you get a diehard salesman that tries to one up you... I get to lie and make up stuff like "reverse life insurance that pays so long as you don't die" but he has to stay on script.
Sorry sir, but your cheap car insurance just doesn't stack up to my company's free Mila Kunis with every purchase promotion.
Steve. Steve. Steve.
I posted this a couple of years ago:
Phone rings; unrecognized number.
Caller: Is this Steve?
Caller: Who is this? (On a side note, I f*cking hate it when wrong number callers do this).
Me: I'm not Steve.
Caller: Steve, you do this all the time; stop f*ckin around.
Me: I'm not Steve, and I'm not f*ckin around.
Caller: Who is this, I mean it!
Me: (Laughing) I told you, I'm not Steve. You dialed the wrong number.
Caller: God damn it Steve! Would you f*ckin knock it off with the wrong number sh*t!
Me: Dude, look at the screen on your phone. You dialed the wrong number.
Caller: (Pause) Oh. That's not Steve's number.
Caller: So you're not Steve? (At this point I'm wondering who's trolling whom.)
Me: (Audible sigh.) No.
Caller: F*ck. He gets me every time. I don't wanna hang up, because if you're Steve I'm gonna be f*ckin pissed.
Me: That's ok, I'll do it for you. (Click.)
A few minutes later my phone rings, a different unrecognized number.
Caller: Dude, this is Steve.
Me: (Thinking I'm definitely getting trolled now.) Yeah?
Steve: Just wanted you to know you really f*cked with my friend's head, thanks!
Me: (Hesitantly.) You're welcome...
This was some eighteen months ago. I've never heard from either of them again.
The Enemy Of My EnemyGiphy
When I was a kid and landlines were a thing, my parents installed this box next to the phone that had a button. If you pushed it it would play this extremely annoying and loud automated message asking to never call again and remove you from their list and cite relevant laws or whatever. Several times we had telemarketers call back to say how it was the most annoying thing they'd ever heard, which feels like a win.
Bye Bye Telemarketer
Well, not a wrong number call, but certainly unwarranted. I was over my Uncle's house many years ago when he got a call from some marketer. I only heard his side of the convo, but I'd imagine when he answered, the marketer asked something like "Hello, sir! Do you like to save money?" Because, he said, "I sure as fit do! I like saving money so much I restricted my diet to soda crackers to cut back on toilet tissue. When I take a sh*t now, all I need's a broom and a dustpan.... Hello?"
If the guy on the other end was laughing as hard as I was, I'd have hung up, too.
Sandra Ain't Here
Back in the landline days I had a woman call me and she said "Hi, Johnny, is Sandra home?"
Being as I am not Johnny and not knowing a Sandra I assumed it was a wrong number so I said "Yea, but she's taking a sh*t right now, can I take a message?"
She was like "Uhhhhh, well......no, I guess I will just call back later."
And I said "Smells like its gonna be a while" and hung up.
Accidentally Out Of Line
I felt terrible the other day.
I answered, "Hello?"
The other side just said, "Who is this?" which I thought was rude, and deserved at least curtness back.
I replied in my sternest voice, "Who are you? You're the one who called me."
And the voice suddenly sounded like what it was, a young kid who said, "I'm sorry mister I just thought I called my mom..."
So I apologized profusely, told the number, confirmed it was just a wrong number and told them I hoped they found their mom.
That Shocked Him
Four weeks in a row, at 11pm on Friday, this guy called my number, and asked "Is Lisa there?"
Four weeks in a row, at 11pm on Friday, I answered "Sorry, man, you have the wrong number."
The fifth week, at 11pm, I was ready for him.
"Is Lisa there"
"Oh, sorry man, she died this morning"
Total silence. Then "Really?"
"No, not really you moron, now get your phone numbers straight!"
He never called back.
If I receive a call from a wrong number I save it in my contacts with the name they have addressed me with, for example - Wrong Number Steven. Or Wrong Number Charlie's Dry cleaner. I always do this.
I got a call asking for Brad, I politely told him that there is no Brad here and he ended the convo. Couple of weeks later he called me again asking for Brad, and again I told him the same and hung up.
After someday he called me again and I answered the call saying 'Hello, Brad speaking.' And for some mysterious reason the caller hung up on me and never called me again to this day.
New year's eve when I was about 10 years old, it was just past midnight and I answered the phone saying happy new year!
Guy on the other end says the same but with a German accent, I asked who he wanted to talk to and he said anyone from the USA. We chatted for 30 minutes or so, exchanged mailing addresses and became pen pals for numerous years.
That was almost 30 years ago, we've lost touch with each other but it was pretty weird and cool at the same time.