Ah, parents. The true grey area when it comes to forming relationships. And while many children have to, unfortunately, learn from their parents mistakes, other times they tell us what we really need to hear. These Redditors are going to tell you the best wisdom that their parents ever gave them.
That's a very healthy habit to have.
Let me debate with them on why I wanted something/should be allowed to do something and would change their minds if I made a compelling argument.
My mom let me do that too. She would say I could be the lawyer in the discussion, but she was the judge and had the ultimate final decision.
This is so important.Giphy
I remember being told it was very important to admit when you're wrong, and I think that was solid advice. But I could be wrong.
My mom always made a point of apologizing to us after we had a fight with her and admitting anything she'd done wrong. I remember having one big fight when I was in high school where I threw a complete tantrum and screamed at her.
Afterwards, she came upstairs and said, "You were right; I was being unreasonable. That was maybe not the most mature way to tell me, but you were right and I'm sorry." It made such a difference to know that my mom would actually listen to and respect the things I said, and it made me do the same for her.
It totally baffles me when parents don't want to apologize to their kids or admit they're wrong because they think their kids won't respect them anymore. The fact is your kids already know you're wrong, they want to know if you know it and if you respect them enough to admit it.
Supported my (then) unusual interests. I was into astronomy as a younger kid and they bought books and telescopes and drove me to/from the local astronomy club at late hours.
Later (this was the 80s) they bought me a series of computers which were pretty expensive for the time and for their income. I'm grateful they supported what I was into.
They instilled a good work ethic. "If you do something half-assed, you'll have to put 2 asses in to fix your f*** ups. If your name is going on it, make it your best."
They also always encouraged my creativity- never told me I wasn't capable of something. They always told me I can accomplish anything I want as long as I put effort into it. My parental units are awesome.
Taught me the importance of quality duct tape.
If duct tape can't fix it, it's not worth fixing.
Yes yes yes.
You can do whatever you want but you are responsible for your choices.
This is the single biggest thing my mom did in raising me. I never had curfews or restrictions and she trusted me to not be a dumbass. If I was a dumbass, it was my own fault and I'd have to fix it on my own (within the scope of capability at a given age). My mom operated on "I'll trust you unless you give me a reason not to." I never gave her a reason not to trust me and we never had problems about it.
We still argued over religion and other normal parent/teen stuff. But not about where I went or with whom and when I'd be back (again, within reason and respective to a given age). I believe people who say they had strict or controlling parents, but I can't relate to it.
They made sure I understood money, money management, saving for retirement, etc. Made my life so much easier have never had to worry about money or debt a day in my life.
Same. I will always be thankful to them for that. They also modeled financial responsibility and lived well within their means, which at the time I found embarrassing ("why is our house so much smaller than everyone else's?") but now I'm like holy shit they set me up for success. When I started working at 14 they made me set aside 60% of it for college, and with their additional help (and a scholarship) I never had a penny of student loan debt.
They even paid me $10/section to watch Dave Ramsey's financial peace seminar when I was 18. That's what got me really interested in investing. Now that I'm more educated about it, I don't really recommend Dave Ramsey's investment specifics (it's pretty bad) but it did get me started thinking about the concept. Now years later I'm well on the way to early retirement and financial independence, and I fully credit my parents for that.
More parents should be like this.Giphy
They treated me like an adult - never belittled what I was feeling or what was meaningful to me, and explained practicalities of life when need be. "Because I said so" was NOT a common phrase.
Also, they were the most supportive parents anyone could ask for, and they had the time to get involved with the things I did - my dad taught me scientific wonder and mentored my robotics team, my mom volunteered for all my theatre and music stuff while simultaneously serving on school boards, PTOs, Friends of Music, curriculum committees, and about a hundred other things.
They are just incredible people.
Sounds like a great dad.
My dad always made my brother and I take the lead. He would obviously always know what was going on and would be a few steps ahead of us. If we were in a new city, we would be in charge of working out which bus to take, or if we were cooking, we'd be reading the recipe and telling my dad what to do, etc.
It's pretty simple but it meant we were pretty good at doing things ourselves and were already really independent before leaving home.
We were visiting London once and I managed to get on the tube before the doors closed, but my dad did not. I knew we where we had to change so just got off at the stop and waited for the next train with him on. I think most 8 year olds might have freaked out a bit
A useful life lesson.
My mom always made me try a bite of any food in front of her before she'd allow the "I don't like it" line. Now, thanks to her, I'm willing to try any food/drink once, even if I think I won't like it. I'm glad she did that.
We have this policy with our kids. They often will keep trying something they previously disliked and realize their taste has changed. It's really fun to see that happen.
No free rides.Giphy
Made me work. There wasn't a free ride, chores and working on the farm weren't an option, they were mandatory. As long as school work was done and I wasn't at practice or a game, I was expected to be helping, and that meant work all summer long too.
.....can you give me some tips?
Never gave me a cent to spend. I earned every single dollar of my wealth throughout my life. I'm in my mid 30s and if I lose all my money tomorrow I won't even be that stressed because I know how to earn it back because I've done it before.
Well that took a turn.
Father: Taught me in the early 00's (when I was 16-20 or so) how to use computers, so I wouldn't be one of those people later in life going "dUr wHaTs A cOmpUtEr1!1"
Godfather: Taught me not to spend money foolishly, but dont be afraid to spend it. You can't take it with you when you're gone.
Mother: Nothing, she was a useless c**t.
There are benefits to playing sports.Giphy
They pushed me into basketball and sports in general, even though I wanted to quit every other weekend.
I was pretty fat as a kid and I naturally didn't like it at all at first, but it ended up being great for me, both for health reasons and for socializing. The latter was also very important, cause I had no long-lasting friends since my parents moved every year and I always had to change schools.
Old school advice, but still useful.
Controversial one but as a kid but don't start any physical violence but if someone punches you, punch them back.
I seemed to be targeted for bullying and violence in school and this helped. As soon as someone knows you will fight back, 9/10 will give up.
Definitely different as an adult though. As an adult I'd rather just avoid any physical violence entirely because the chances are, if they are getting into physical violence, they probably don't have a lot to lose and you don't want to get stabbed or something.