People Share The Best Science Jokes They've Ever Heard

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A biologist, an engineer, and a mathematician observe an empty building...


They see two people entering the building and sometime later, see three coming out. The biologist declares, "Oh, they must have reproduced." The engineer argues, "Our initial count must have been incorrect." The mathematician says, "Now if one more person goes into the building, it will be completely empty."

I was never a big fan of math or science, but that joke makes me chuckle. You don't necessarily have to be a master of those subjects to understand the punch lines. When Redditor u/Butcheey asked people, "What's a good science joke?", some very smart people stepped up to deliver laughs. And while they honestly go over my head sometimes, hopefully their nuances won't be lost on you!

Who's training who?

tv land dog GIF by nobodies. Giphy

Ivan Pavlov is sitting in a bar. The phone behind the bar starts ringing. Pavlov shoots up out of his chair and shouts, "Oh, s**t! I forgot to feed the dog!"

PureMagicTrick

For the math heads

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one says to the bartender: "I'll have a beer." The second one says: "I'll have half a beer." The third one says: "I'll have a quarter of a beer."

The bartender pours two beers and says "you guys need to learn your limits."

meatfrappe

What's the difference?

Einstein and his wife were going through a rough time:

Einstein: "What can I do, I'll do anything"

Wife: "I just need two things right now, space and time"

Einstein: "and the second?"

roflsd

Rocks can be fun

2 tectonic plates bumped into each other. 1 said, oops, my fault! :)

Autistic_Lurker

People slate geology jokes way too much

buddyholly16

Anyone a plumber or chemist?

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionized

RaisedbyHeathens

I love this joke, because it works perfectly in a written format, but there's no good way to express it orally.

IAMA_Printer_AMA

That's true for any job

I'm an electrical engineer and whenever somebody asks how my day was, I always say it had its positives and negatives.

RaleighTillIDie

I used to be into model rocketry. Anytime someone commented on how cool that is, I would say it had its ups and downs.

MasteringTheFlames

What do these two know?

Heisenberg and Schrodinger are traveling in a car when they get pulled over. The cop asks Heisenberg, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg replies, "no, but I can tell you exactly where I was."

The officer takes this peculiar response as grounds to search the vehicle. Upon opening the trunk of the car, he finds a dead cat. He then asks the two men "did you know there was a dead cat in the trunk?"

Schrodinger replies "well I do now!"

maleorderbride

Time traveling punchlines

Back To The Future Film GIF Giphy

The bartender says "sorry, we don't server faster than light particles here."

Two tachyons walk into a bar.

AccordianORama

The punchline comes before the joke

You know what the worst thing about time travel jokes is?

tosety

Gassy jokes

Why did no one say a word when the king farted?

Because noble gases don't cause reactions

UYScutiPuffJr

Helium walked into a bar Bar tender says We don't server Noble Gases round here. Helium Doesn't react

sid32

This joke has layers

Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are all playing a game of hide and seek. It's Einstein's turn to be "it", so he closes his eyes and starts counting. Pascal immediately goes and finds a place to hide. Newton however doesn't go anywhere. Instead he takes out a piece of chalk, draws a 1m X 1m square on the floor, and steps inside it. Einstein finally gets done counting, opens his eyes, and exclaims "Aha, Newton I have found you!" To which Newton replies "But no, you have found Pascal!"

wonderllama


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