Life is cyclical. Whatever you do unto others... it will come back to you. The boomerang should be the symbol for life. Karma is no joke. She is a sleek, observant ghost who is ready to pounce on those who are most deserving. Everybody may not believe in karma because sometimes she has a slow process but trust, she will always come for you, and in ways you least expect or in ways biblically poetic. So go forth in life and be your best self if no other reason than sparing your karmic scores.
50. The Seagulls always win...
Was buying some drinks at a circle K one day while visiting someone in Florida and these old tourists cut us in line, all the while complaining and yelling loudly about everything, how expensive everything is, how crowded the beach is, it's too hot, etc. they are also really rude to the cashier and take forever arguing about the price of the hot dogs they were buying or something. They leave and as we walk out we witness a seagull come and snatch the guy's hot dog right out of his hand. His wife then shrieks and proceeds to drop hers out of surprise.
I know it isn't that big of a deal but it was so hilarious watching that happening that I still remember it 5 years later.
49. The Wallet.
Happened while visiting NY. I watched someone bend down to pick up a wallet someone ahead of them had just dropped. All of this was going down in the crosswalk and I was in the passenger seat with my dad driving. Guy A who picked up the wallet began run it to Guy B who was already across the street and while doing so, his wallet fell out of his pocket and on the sidewalk/crosswalk area.
Some dude in the bike lane rode up a little ways ahead, bent down, and picked it up and just started heading off. Just grabbed it and began to ride away like a bunch of cars hadn't just watched him. My dad was about to say something when a cop car adjacent to us swerved in front of cycler and made him give it back. Cycler bumped into the cop car and was trying to go around when he was tackled. I think they might've arrested him but he light changed so we couldn't stick around.
Coolest instant karma I've ever seen.
48. Fast & Furious...Giphy
I was waiting at a red light to cross the main street of my town. My light goes green, so I start driving, at the same time a truck to my right starts going. I hit my brakes to avoid hitting him, and this kid is looking at me like I'm the jerk.
As soon as he's clear, I finish crossing, and I see lights starts flashing. He ran the red while being directly in front of a cop.
47. Slow Down.
My wife was jogging, and a man starts driving slow and cat calling her. Doesn't realize it's a red light and rear-ends a truck, totally destroying his Prius. Cop was stopped at the same red light and saw the whole situation. Cop laughed and asked my wife to fill out a witness statement.
it was a busy street, so when I say "driving slow," I mean he slowed down while passing her, probably hit the lady in the truck doing about 35 in a 50.
46. Watch the speed...
We were driving home late from work one night, (both bartenders, maybe midnight). We live in a small community, and we were at the 1/4 mile section that goes from 55, to 45, to 35, to 25.
A giant lifted truck decided that he wanted to continue going 55, he was up our butt, brights on, so close you couldn't even see his bumper. It was like his lights were in our car.
Pretty much 2 seconds after one of us said, "Where's a cop when you need one?", a deputy passed us going the opposite direction and immediately flipped and pulled him over.
Still gives me the warm fuzzies.
45. Called me what?Giphy
Drunk guy at the bar started yelling at the bartender for cutting him off. Called her B and whore multiple times and then tried to scoot his bar stool back. Instead it caught on the carpet and he fell backwards like a tree falling. It made a very audible thud and of course, everyone stops what they're doing to look. He laid there for a minute, got up and stumbled to the door as everyone continued to stare at him. Definitely never saw him again.
44. I hope it hurt!
A guy kicked a dog and ran full speed into a brick wall as the dog chased him.
Maybe be nice to all creatures.
43. The Rage.
Saw some lady road raging hard at slow traffic going over a dangerous mountain pass. She was trying to run people off the road trying to get around them. I've never seen anything like it, she could've killed someone. Saw her getting forcefully arrested by like 6 cops at the bottom of the mountain on the other side. Face-pinned to hood and screaming.
42. Bad Boys, Bad Boys whatcha goin' do...
Saw a guy yelling at another guy in traffic, the guy that was yelling continued to speed off and got pulled over by a under cover cop car on the side of the road.
Traffic karma is the best.
41. The School Bus.
I was riding the bus to school once. As it is picking up kids some guy passes the bus while the bus's red lights are flashing. A cop literally turns the corner the second after and pulls him over.
40. Check Pease...
Watched an entitled angry man abuse and belittle his server to the point of tears. Then he hitched up his belt and looked pleased with himself as he swaggered off the restaurant deck, tripped on the stairs, and face planted in the sand on the beach. (This was a vacation in Fla.) My wife looked mortified as I laughed right out loud at the guy. He got up, saw everyone staring and at least one person openly laughing, and quickstepped off down the beach.
39. Mall Cop A PleaGiphy
I work at a movie theater. One afternoon I was selling tickets at the box office when an older lady came up and asked me a question about our app (it's a Cinemark app).
I, however, wasn't sure about the answer and told her that. She proceeded to say, very rudely, "isn't is your job to know??? Are you stupid or something?"
Then, she turned around and noticed the mall cop was writing her a ticket for parking in a handicap spot when she did not have a handicap plate or placard. She took off running screaming "wait stop! That's my car!"
I couldn't keep the huge grin off my face for the rest of the day.
If only you could have yelled: "You parked illegally. What are you stupid or something?"
...I should take on a customer service job in my spare time just to get fired.
38. Supersize Karma
One day a few years ago I was grabbing McDonalds near work to eat something last second before my shift. It was one of those two lane microphone deals. I blatantly finish ordering before the other lane before he stomps on the gas to cut me off.
His car breaks down right there, and I get to take my rightful turn in line.
Seriously though so many people don't understand how those drive thrus work. There's almost nothing to gain by cutting in front of someone that finished before you because the staff will have to switch around orders which probably will take as long as you would've waited behind the car you cut anyways.
See, I work for a staffing agency. I'm a recruiter. Pretty small team and this was actually another recruiter on my team that this happened to.
My co-worker was working with this guy who was pretty sharp. He was a programmer. His company was doing layoffs but he was told he wouldn't be affected. My co-worker contacted him, chatted about the situation and he said he would be interested in looking around. We just had a new client give us a position to help on that fit his background. We lined up an interview pretty quickly, he interviewed and got the position! Great. It was even a little salary bump. Straight direct hire, no contract stuff. He goes in, works his first week. All is great, all smiles.
Well, that next Monday shows up and he isn't there. The company calls us asking where he is, so my co-worker calls him. He answers the phone and my co-worker asks "hey, is everything okay? You no call no showed today over at XYZ company." And the guy proceeds to tell us "Yeah, I never actually quit my job. I just took vacation for the week to see if I liked the place. It was okay but I'll just stay here." My co-worker responds "Man, is there anything I can do? This puts us in a tight spot, this is a brand new customer of ours, can I do anything" and the guy tells us "Quite frankly I don't give a sh!t what kind of position it puts you in nor do I care if they are a new customer. I'm staying, don't call me again." And hangs up the phone.
He got laid off the next week.
36. Cheaters Never Prevail
The washers and dryers in my apartment building are run through Bluetooth and an app you download on your phone. I figured out that if I put my phone on airplane mode while simultaneously pressing the start button on the machine, the washer would start but I wouldn't get charged. I was so proud, tried the same thing on the dryer and it worked. Went to get my clothes out of the dryer an hour later and everything was covered in melted Hershey kisses.
35. Transit Angels
I have a happier good karma story that happened to me a few months ago on vacation in San Francisco. Late at night after a potluck and drinks, my friend drove me to a BART metro station near her house and gave me directions to take the train back to my hotel.
I walked in, paid my fare, and went underground only to find out I'd just missed the last train. Fortunately my friend was awesome and gave me bus directions back, but there was another person who'd missed the same train, and he was in a far worse situation than mine. He was drunk, high, carrying massive bags of groceries and alcohol, and was trying to get back to Richmond, the way I came from and super far away. He also had no way to call an Uber.
Feeling bad, I offered to call him an Uber and he could pay me back what he could. He only had $3, but so be it, I wasn't going to turn him down. We chatted awhile until his ride came, he went off on his merry, inebriated way, and I went to catch my bus.
Except when I got on, I realized it was a MUNI bus, the other transit company, and so my BART fare wasn't transferable - I'd have to pay again. I realized I had no dollar bills left in my wallet. I spent it all on that useless fare. Panicking, I reached into my back pocket where I keep small change, well knowing I didn't have enough for the $2.50 fare. And that's when I felt the $3 that guy gave me. It was such a beautiful feeling. I think we were mutual guardian angels that night.
34. Karma's A Two Way Street
I liked going to the local fruit stand near my old job before work. It's a small family owned and run place. A little kid was working the register and accidently gave me back more than I gave them. I give back the money and correct the mistake, insisting it happens and to not worry about it, I'm not telling nobody.
The kid must have told her kin folk about two weeks later and I didn't pay for fruit for the next month until I got another job.
Karma works both ways!
33. You've been DCed!
Guy sped right past me in the K Street tunnel towards Georgetown, cut me off, and then got rung up by a speed camera just seconds later.
He then proceeded to floor it after the first camera caught him and promptly got caught by the trick speed camera not even a half block further just before the light.
I'm not generally a fan of DC's speed cameras, but seeing his brake lights blast red after getting lit up by not just two, but four successive flash bulbs was gratifying. eganist
32. The BK Queue.Giphy
I was waiting in queue at Burger King. While i was looking at the menu board, a bunch of high school kids of some team sport cut my queue, it was like 15 of them and like they grouped up in a round and slowly went in front of me when i wasn't looking. I gave an annoyed look but just waited in line. A cashier open his counter and called for me and i got right in front of all of them even before the lady in charge of that sports team who was waiting on the other counter. EmotionalElevator4
31. Ha Ha to you....
Worked after school care for school age kids. There was this one kid who was pretty obnoxious and got under everyone's skin. One day I see him walk into the room just needling another kid. He ends his provoking with a Nelson from the Simpsons "ha ha," spins around, and face plants on the ground. The kid he was provoking gave him a "ha ha!" back and walked off. Obnoxious kid gets up, dusts himself off, and humbly slinks away and is pretty quiet for the rest of the day. TheMadTherapist
30. You can't handle the snow!
We were driving on a very icy 35mph-limit road, in a 4wd car, after one of the first big snowstorms of the winter. We're doing ~25mph, which is about as fast as we feel we can push it, given the ice sheet over everything since the snow melted to slush and re-froze overnight. We've been driving in snow/ice our whole lives, we know what'll work and what is risky, and conditions are BAD. All other traffic is basically moving at our speed or even slower.
A shiny new lifted red dodge pickup pulls up behind us, tailgating, revving his engine, etc. Basically everything is screaming "big man in his big truck doesn't need to be held up by some car that can't handle the snow!" We hit a straight section and give him an easy chance to pass us. He takes it, and quickly accelerates to~40 (which would be the typical speed for the road in the summer). About 400 feet beyond us, the road takes a moderate curve left. He tries to turn, but it's a solid sheet of ice - the truck just goes straight into a parked car and guardrail, right in-front of a dozen or so witnesses.
We coast past at ~25, making the turn without issue. His front end was pretty smashed up - maybe not totaled, but I'd be amazed if he could drive it to the shop. AngryT-Rex
29. Don't Fidget.
I hit my girlfriend in the forehead with a spinning fidget spinner. She chased me, I jumped on my bed, and my ceiling fan smacked the living hell out of me.
She was on the floor laughing for a solid 5 minutes. I am a firm believer in karma now... or maybe just idiocy on my part. insurance_novice
28. Speed Demon.
Was on a road trip last week. Guy in the left lane was slowly passing a truck so there were about 5 of us stacked up patiently waiting for the logjam to clear. Jerk in a Mercedes breaks ranks into the right lane, speeds ahead, and tries to cut in to save himself 3 car lengths of trouble. All cars band together to not let him in. He almost ran the car behind me off the road and nearly sideswiped him before taking his rightful place in the back.
Well he was pissed after that and was tailgating and in general driving like an JERK. He eventually sped off well over 100 mph. Saw him about 20 minutes later pulled over by a state trooper. Laughed my butt off as I passed Burke2010
27. Be Patient.
Helping my brother move out of his apt after grad school. In parking garage trying to reposition the car to load up the tv or something. Some girl wants to get past us so I start backing up, but she's crowding me, like inches from my bumper. Anyway, she gets past and we load up. As we leave the parking lot, she's in the middle of the street having T-boned someone. Felt bad for the poor person she hit. OneNineRed
26. Try Peace.Giphy
Stated dating a girl a few months back and her ex was being just a huge jerk to her, threatening to fight me if he saw me, trying to start rumors, etc...
Went out for drinks with the girlfriend and, of course, he shows up. Starts to get in my face at the bar and gets kicked out. Rushes the door guy to get back in and is carried out and banned from that bar for life.
Then I had another genius thought... What if I could do this at the bar next door? (It's a smallish town. There are really only two bars worth going to for night life, and they're right next door to each other.)
So, we go next door. He's waiting outside for me but there's the usual "don't do it bro!" Friends around him so I make it next door without having to fight. Of course he comes in, starts his act and actually tries to fight me this time. He gets pulled off by a few people and is also kicked out of that bar for at least a while.
Fight with your brain not your fists. emartinoo
25. Aim for the head!
A girl in school used to tease everyone and just be generally annoying. She was tossing this stress ball around and aimed it at this one kids head. Someone yelled "look out" at him and so he looked up, saw the ball coming at him, and put up his hands in self defense. It bounced off his arms and back at the girl and hit her right in the mouth. It was a soft squishy stress ball so it didn't hurt her, but we all openly laughed at her and her surprised expression so she sat down quietly from embarrassment. She still kept being annoying but she stopped throwing things at people's heads. breentee
24. The Rains will Come....
At a big sports tournament after a game and it's raining a bit - an aggressive driver can't be bothered with people rushing to their cars and almost runs over a kid, yells at people in his way and decides to weave around traffic to get out of the place quicker. There is a saw horse blocking the exit he is not supposed to go out. The rain is getting heavier. Everyone is watching this impatient person as he gets out his car to move the saw horse and bypass the traffic line and pedestrian traffic due to self entitlement. When he gets out to move the saw horse/barrier he closes his car door and locks himself out of the car with the car running. Downpour ensues. Instant Karma. FenwayAnfield
23. Water Drama.
I was waiting to put in at a boat ramp in Florida one day. It was a single ramp, the guy trying to take his boat out out of the water was having a tough time time backing his trailer down. His wife (I assume) and two kids were waiting on the dock.
Some guy waiting to get out of the water starts screaming at him and heckling him. The first guy finally gets his trailer down the ramp, meanwhile, raging jerk had docked his boat and started up the dock towards the poor boating newbie family guy screaming and yelling. Raging jerk punches family guy and knocks him off the dock into the water.
Two burly dudes that nobody was really paying attention to to walk up, literally grab raging jerk as family guy was falling in the water, throw him on the dock and handcuff him, then flashed their FL DNR badges. They were undercover watching the boat ramp.
There was applause and cheering from the folks waiting to put in and take out.
Family guy just wants to get out there and go home, so he declines to press charges. The DNR guys apparently thought "aw hell's no," proceed to tear the guys boat and car apart and ended charging him with a BUI and ever single nitpicky thing they could find wrong his boat. It was a good day. Dr_StrangeloveGA
22. Let me Watch....
When I was a broke college student the high schoolers down the street sideswiped my car so bad my front door wouldn't open all the way and the mirror was gone. Confronted them but couldn't prove it. Couldn't afford to fix it.
The next week they come screeching out of the neighborhood while I'm studying next to the second floor window. They crash headlong into a tree and total their car. I has a comfortable view as all four of them got out and the driver was sobbing his sorry butt shirtless on the pavement till his mom came and cussed him out loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear. Jamonica
21. No Pizza for You!
A chick at a pizza place took money out of the tip jar to pay for her extra toppings. She did this after screaming at the poor person working that she couldn't believe it was an extra 50 cents for more cheese. On my way home I saw her getting arrested, not sure for what, but I'm sure she had it coming. blooodghoul
20. Ew. Just Ewww!Giphy
Guy spewed vomit all over the floor in the bathroom at a bar. As I left the bathroom, a big muscly guy in overalls (no undershirt) was coming in. I tried to get his attention and stop him, but he just shouldered me out of the way.
He slipped on said vomit and yelled as he fell. As he put his hand down to lift himself up, he yelled a much louder he realized the vomitus was all over himself. jlamer
19. The Cycle Crash....
My cousin parked her car on the street near my house. My neighbor came out and yelled about how that was her spot. My cousin simply moved her car rather than argue. A few hours later one of the children who live on our street ran into my neighbors car in that exact spot.
Edit: kid was riding a bike. Should have mentioned that. Doug625
I ran my husband's drunk girlfriend out of my house. She goes to the nearest gas station where they call the cops and she gets her second DUI. Mason3637
17. Told you so....
Was a lifeguard and kid (9-10 years old) kept running around on the pool deck. He clearly heard me several times yelling at him to walk, and he ignored me. Next time he ran, he slipped and fell flat on his butt and started crying. The only thing I said was "thats why I told you to walk" and his mom definitely gave me the evil eye. I didn't give a crap though, that's what you get for not following the rules! bttrflyr
16. You Gass....
Spend my last few dollars on a donut instead of using it to tip the person who filled my gas. Dropped my donut as I pulled out the gas station. AggravatingDirt
15. I dare you to sue....Giphy
I worked in a cell phone store years ago, lines were long and some woman's kid was running blast through the store, knocking over things and just being a general hellion.
I asked her to control her child several times, as he could easily get hurt doing what he was doing.
After about the third time she yells "don't you tell me how to raise my chil..." She never finished her sentence because the child ran head-first into a very heavy hanging sign and knocked himself out cold. The kid fell like a bag of potatoes, I mean like a sniper shot to the head kind of thing.
(The kid was alright, the mom threatened to sue us, I reminded her we had video and audio of me asking her to control her child three separate times as well as well as her swearing at me, never heard from her again). Dr_StrangeloveGA
14. Put the Foot Down!
At a concert my mom accidentally stepped on a lady's foot, and she said sorry multiple times, but the lady very drunk wouldn't let it go and started a fight with my mom. Very bad idea, my moms ex MMA. Straight knockout. My mom met that lady again a year ago at a event for her work, and apparently the lady stopped drinking from what happened that night, being told by her friends she wouldn't leave my mom alone even after countless times of apologizing. Maybe it was good karma? Armageddon-King
13. The Good Ole Juju....
Instant Karma isn't always a bad thing...
About 16 years ago. In my tiny Dodge Neon. I was at a red light and I have no reason why but I gave a homeless person all of the change in my ashtray. The light turned green, and I made my left turn and a few seconds later I was hit head on by a full size truck.
When they were loading my car on the tow truck, the driver asked "How's the driver," and I simply said "I'm fine" he was shocked at 1st, and then once he realized I wasn't kidding. He said he'd been towing for 20 years and never seen anyone survive this extreme of an accident... let alone be standing there talking to him while loading up the car.
Pretty sure I lived due to the good juju. socalfear
12. Off to the prom....
My boss gave me a six pack of beer for prom night and working extra hard for him. I didn't really drink and tried to refuse but he insisted. I put it in my car and figured I'd give it to a friend who drinks. Half way into my shift the owner of the restaurant comes in and fires me because he saw the beer, obviously stolen because I was underage, in my backseat. I look at the head chef and he just acts like he's mad too? The owner walks me out to my car and is asking why I would do that, I was a good worker for a year and a half or so.
So I just told him, yeah the head chef gave it to me I have no idea why he didn't just tell you. Owner walks back in and fired the head chef. This guy was a big douche so he went ballistic and the owners saw a side of him that the kitchen staff saw when it got really busy.
The owner's actions really effected me. I think that's the first time someone ever really took a stand for me. Especially over someone who was obviously making him more money. I will always remember that day. Then I went to prom and was just on high all night. StalkySpade
11. Karma Giveth!
I have a positive instant karma. Not sure that counts. But it's a good story
I took my three kids (5f, 5m, 7f) to a local carnival/feast. My wife had some girl brunch thing, didn't come. We parked kinda far so To get to the rides, we had to walk through the concert field where people were staking their spots for the show later. Tarps, etc.
A young mom and her young daughter walked past us quickly, the Mom holding chairs, tarps, etc and basically has her hands completely full. So, i catch up to her, ask her if she needs help and I take a couple of the bags from her.
We followed them to a spot they had, dropped their stuff, chatted for a minute, she thanked me and we walked off. Just as we left, my older daughter, 7, looks up at me and says "that was really nice dad." Very cute.
Right after she said that, a dad walking out of the feast handed/asked if I wanted some ride tickets they weren't going to use. So i took them and thanked him. Instantly, my daughter (same one) says to me "dad! That was karma! The tickets were karma for helping that lady" she was so right! Such a great dad moment. SuperDada
10. 15 drinks in.....Giphy
Last week, my youngest daughter had her last day of preschool. Between my two girls, we've been associated with this school for almost 10 years. My wife and I wanted to do something nice for them so we offered to buy them Starbucks.
As I'm about to enter the Starbucks' parking lot, a guy runs a stop sign, narrowly missing me. He pulls in, I pull in next to him. I hurriedly scramble out of my car to beat him to the line.
It was fun listening to them call my name for all 15 drinks before that guy got his. BigRedRN
9. Keep Walking....
I remember once walking home from school, and this kid from my school rode up to me on his bike and started bullying me, trying to run me over and stuff like that.
Next thing, not looking where he was going the kid runs over a rock, falls off his bike and smashes himself on the concrete. He was laying there crying and asking for help and I just kept walking. I regret nothing. PMMEURINSIDES
8. Never Mock Me!
My boss got Instant Karma for mocking me!
I had a day off work and as I was making breakfast, I accidentally sliced my finger tip with a bread knife. I wrapped it up, and went to Urgent Care. It didn't need stitches but the doctor put a couple steri-strips on it and said not to use it for a day or two and stay off a keyboard.
I went into work the next morning, told my boss that I had to stay off a keyboard for a couple days so I had to do some other kind of customer service that didn't involve typing. She said no problem.
As I walked out of the room I remembered I had to tell her something else and as I was walking back in, I heard her mocking my injury. Just as she finished, she accidentally slammed the door of the one ton safe on her hand. I laughed and said Karma's a b. She said yeah, I kind of deserved that.
She didn't break it but she couldn't use it so she had to call another supervisor to come in for the day so she could get it checked out. When the gauze came off my finger a couple days later and saw the strips holding it together she admitted that it did look kinda bad and she shouldn't have made fun. I accepted and brushed the incident off. thompson1041
7. The Cart lady.
I work in the parking lot as a cart pusher. One lady pushed the cart to the side and got in her car to back up, but the cart (since not in a corral) rolled back behind her car and she backed into it pretty hard. Me and my coworkers laughed our butts off. 864367966422
6. I like your bus!
Dude tearing up the street, ducking off the road onto the shoulder to pass whenever someone wasn't going fast enough for him (which was everyone.) Road was a generous 70km and he was pushing at least 120 at times. Residential area too.
Half a km up the road there was cloud of smoke. Get there and it's them, ute totaled with the engine pancake flat. A bus had been taking a wide turn using both lanes and he obviously was going too fast to register and tried to race up the side as it turned. It has been PUSHED onto the opposite side of the road. Not a small bus... a school bus. HelloFoxie
5. Leaving a Mark...
I was making fun of my sister in law for not being able to open the baby gate, I opened it still making fun of her, went to walk through it and my hip caught it, forcing it closed with me in it. I have a MASSIVE very painful bruise on my hip now. Morrdsith
4. Merry we roll along...
I live right between two cop jurisdictions. At the top of a hill is one and at the bottom is the other. I do NOT mess around on that hill as usually one is at the top and bottom. Headed to work one day and some little BMW starts flashing me and passes. Sure enough, he is pulled over down the road and i go on my merry way. Brailledit
3. We all have pain....
That would be myself. My husband (then boyfriend) was carrying our dog's freshly filled water bowl from the kitchen sink to the feeding mat. The dog ran right into him and the water spilled all over the floor. I laughed my butt off. In the 2 minutes it took him to find the mop, I forgot the water was on the floor and slipped as I walked right through it to get to the dryer. I fell hard on to the granite tile. I had a broken arm, had a mild concussion, and received 8 stitches on the side of my head. Reddit
2. Kick Hard!
When I was a kid I went horse riding at a holiday centre.
These parents insisted their kid go on the biggest horse as apparently the family had "owned horses for years and their kid was the best rider."
Dad of the family walks right behind a horse with a brand new video camera in a camera bag.
Horse kicks the camera, breaking it beyond repair. Amyisnotinsane
1. What I had done!
I got called to help some civilians during an exercise we we're having at my base. I went out and they explained what they needed and asked me to help them. I was able to set them up with several pieces of equipment and taught them how to properly operate it all. After the exercise was over and everyone had gone home I get called by my flight chief saying that I need to show up at the commanders office the next day in my dress uniform. Usually if you have to show up in blues to the commander's office you are getting some high level punishment. So I show up the next day sweat dripping down my head as I try to ponder why I've been called in, as I'm sitting in the waiting area, my flight chief shows up and tells me to get ready to speak to the commander about "what I had done."
I am freaking out as I walk in to see the colonel. Out of the corner of my eye I see the civilian I had worked with earlier in the exercise sitting with a giant smile on his face as I entered the office. Turns out he was great friends with my commander and had greatly appreciated everything I had done to help them. He and the commander both presented me with a coin and when everything was said and done the civilian walked out of the office with me and gave me a $40 gift card to the BX. kirtok1337
A good chunk of humanity have a hard time hearing certain truths. We don't want to admit what isn't working, because it's just human nature to be scared of being wrong. It's hard to admit weakness individually, much less as a whole.
But eventually, we need to face the facts, and these Redditors are ready to deliver the harsh truths about what it means to be human. SomeWillingness2960 asked:
What is the truth humanity is not ready to hear?
Let’s start with a few of the light ones, before we dive deep in what we’ve been overdue to hear.
Starting off with a very controversial one.
“The air in chip bags is important.”
“They replace the air (which contains oxygen and water vapour) with nitrogen so the chips don't get soggy or oxidise.”
“And they "over inflate" the bags on purpose to cushion the chips from crumbling during packing / transport.”
A universal work struggle.season 8 episode 23 GIFGiphy
“No matter where you work, or what you do for a living, there will always be That Person that nobody can figure out how they got hired, never mind why they are allowed to continue working there.”
- You actually show up on time
- Your work is
good/up to standardis not the worst and passable
- Your colleagues and bosses
like youdon't hate you the most out of your colleagues
Edit. Adding 4 and 5 based on below discussions which can supercede the above 3 while also ammending the above three slightly
4. It's more difficult to kick you out than to keep you
5. You have some control over those in charge (some kind of relation, having some kind of incriminating evidence, etc)”
What is “normal”, anyway?
“We will never have a good sense of the world's "normal."
News won't focus on it, because it's boring by definition. Social media won't focus on it for the same reason. Word of mouth and fiction too. Statistics may get us close, but they're hard to picture in terms if human experience, and of course, more exciting stats get repeated more.
Our view of the world outside of our own personal experience will always be shaped by the outliers, and there's not much way around it.”
Ok, now it’s time to dive deeper. Prepare yourselves.
This one hurts.
“Most people simply don't care about the things you're passionate about no matter how much you try to convince them that they should be.”
“As I've gotten older I've had to learn that my friends don't find joy in the same things I do. It's nothing personal.”
I’ll never understand this.Mermaid Man And Barnacle Boy Superhero GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
“Much evil not only goes unpunished but is rewarded.”
“Not only that but a lot of evil behaviour is rewarding itself for many people.”
“The loudest among you are mostly a bunch of wankers. Unfortunately you usually let them lead you.”
“A big part of that is because they tell us what we want to hear.
You ever hear a politician go "We're going to have open borders, lower corporate tax rate, higher sales tax, reduced prison sentences, laws forbidding employers from looking into if they're hiring a criminal, a ban on beef, and we're doing it all because that is what the experts say we should do and I have a giant book of sources on that"? No, because even though that's very much what experts advise, it's not at all what people want to hear.
So instead, when you hear someone going "Don't listen to that guy, what we really need is better border control, huge taxes on corporations, no taxes on the poor, criminals get treated like the scum they are, and corporations are the main ones behind climate change, and don't ask me for sources", you're still much more likely to support him. Because when you want to believe them, they're so much easier to believe.”
Those would be some very smart monkeys.
“There's a good chance that humans simply don't have the capacity to fully understand the universe.
A monkey will never be able to comprehend calculus, macroeconomic theory, or how a car works. It makes sense that we too have an intellectual ceiling that will prevent us from ever understanding how the universe works.”
Ready to face the music? Keep reading.
“Humanity is the largest threat to itself. Not some natural disaster or outside invasion. We will kill ourselves off at this rate.”
“Yes. It's sad that the most successful and intelligent species in the solar system is most likely going to cause its own downfall.”
“For most people the last thing left of them will be an eroded name on a headstone.”
“I want to be one of those taxidermied drones.”
Username checks out.
“Are you special? Maybe a little bit. Are you as special as you think you are? Certainly not.”
“We are all the same decaying organic matter.”
Well, I hope y’all aren’t too messed up from reading that. Especially that first one about the chip bags. How dare they.
But in all seriousness, just do your part to make our world a better place. That’s all we can do.
An overwhelming majority of us have plenty of things we are annoyed by every single day, and also lack the power to doing anything about them.
That unfortunate, infuriating state is just the norm. We walk through life seeing, hearing, and enduring daily pitfalls whose existences make zero sense to us.
But if we did have the power to outlaw just one of those annoyances, how hard of a choice would that be?
Apparently for some Redditors, the choice was clear. They were happy to share their selection.
Redditor jinxy_wolfy asked:
"What would you ban?"
Many people have absolutely had it with the annoying aspects of using the internet every day.
"That damn fake 'x' button to close out mobile game adds" -- WebbedRose103
"Or when it's a real x button, but they make it so small that you click the ad anyway." -- tomuglycruise
"That and the moving button that makes you click on ads as it loads more and more ads." -- Maester_erryk
Others spoke specifically about the world of advertising and constantly encountering people trying to sell something. The lengths they'll go are endless.
"You're no longer allowed to advertise a lower price than what the customer will pay. No more $29.99... plus $100 in fees."
"Calling someone you don't know to solicit. I get 12+ calls a day and block each one and still get 12 more the next day. I'll hang up on them because they're calling while I'm using GPS and they'll just immediately call and interrupt the map again."
Glue and Plastic
"selling food that looks significantly different in person than it does in advertising/food glamour shots." -- skepticones
"This is why I like eating out in Japan. There are plastic examples of dishes in the front window. If something looks good, you go in and ask for it, and it matches the one in the window every time!" -- EmEmPeriwinkle
And others set their sights on the toxic elements of human culture that seem to make everyone worse off.
All About Context
"Too many loopholes in current law. For instance Dr. Oz would lose his medical license if he told a patient in his office the same things he says on TV. But broadcasts aren't technically doctor-patient relationships, so he gets away with misleading millions of people."
"Puppy mills" -- godhasmoreaids
"Backyard breeders too imo. I see a lot of poorly bred dogs who have major issues because a family wants a payday." -- EmEmPeriwenkle
Poor All Other Animals
"MarineLand and all zoos that mistreat their animals."
Genuine nature preserves that respect and care for their animals, with lots and lots of room, hey, more power to you. But establishments that keep animals as exhibits in tiny spaces have to be stopped."
"Child beauty pageants, just fu** off with that sh**" -- Russian_Terminator
"Yes. It is disgusting to see little girls caked with makeup parading around in adult clothing.Gross." -- glenarbourgal
Of course, none of us will get the chance to ban any of these things. But we can dream, can't we?
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From our childhood through our adult years, one thing we all dream of from time to time is all the things we could do if we had unlimited resources. Buy a castle and become your own anti-hero, solve world hunger, adopt ALL the animals, live on an endless cruise around the world, heck, buy a whole political party *cough cough*.
Most of us would be content making sure our family and friends were set for life and bettering the world the best we can.
Redditor ApArAmY wanted to hear what everyone else dreamed of doing if they had no limit on funds.
“What is the first thing you would buy if you had infinite money?"
Dreaming of affordable health care? Must be from the US...
“Every single medical provider facility in the world. Make healthcare free for patients. Since I have unlimited money, I can afford whatever drug/device/material/salary/etc that would treat patients.”
“Then everyone can get on with living life knowing that they'll get good medicine and not be saddled with high costs. And taxes could go down because governments wouldn't have to pay for healthcare.” Specialist-Ad475
20 trillion, no big deal...
“I'd fund all efforts to further the fight against climate change, global warming, pollution, etc. I'd probably try not to spend that much money for a while so as to prevent inflation, but adding ~20 trillion dollars to the global economy wouldn't be that bad, right?” PixelGMS
The orange one wouldn't like this idea...
“I'd buy Mar a Lago, make it into a homeless shelter and install wind power turbines on all 18 holes." Mr-Warmth
Someone come get their dad!
“A new butt, my old one has a crack in it!" drewdwagy1966seth meyers dabbing GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
Human rights and green energy...
“Buy Amazon, Nestle, and as many $1billion+ corporations as I can. Once I'm CEO, I would stop every human rights violation they cause and give all the profits (since i have infinite money I won't need it) to charities and funding to green energy and stopping climate change." crispier_cream
“It sounds silly, but an ice cream sandwich. Several years ago, I was living paycheck to paycheck and had a fair amount of credit card debt. I fell behind in my mortgage and lost my home to foreclosure. Shortly after I was notified, I drove over to a 7-11, bought an ice cream sandwich, and ate it while crying in my car.”
“Unfortunately, every time I eat an ice cream sandwich, it's still a bittersweet feeling. I always think of the day my favorite childhood comfort food became forever intertwined with my sense of complete and utter failure. After coming into life-changing money, I would hope that an ice cream sandwich would taste as good again as it did when I was a kid.” Steve-in-rewrite
“Just….. a huge chunk of land.”
“Land. Just….. a huge chunk of land. Build a house for my parents, one for us, and one for my In-Laws, and another small house for the family to stay at when they come to visit. Maybe two. We got a big family. And then just spend my time building my farm." Unusual_Amphibian_20
Just make sure to funnel it through a PAC first...
“A US Senator! Or several of 'em. I've always wanted my own senator.” a_dangerous_noodleSusan Collins Thank You GIF by Election 2020Giphy
The who’s got a bigger one game...
“Judging by the world we live in, apparently I'd enter into the private space race.” Cool-breeze7
Back to the bartering system perhaps?
“I would distribute it all evenly so that it's literally worthless. I would expect this to collapse the economy but what do i know, I'm not an economist.” Jham_jam
It seems like mostly these Redditors want to help others and the planet. Although for that one person, may all your ice cream sandwiches be delightful.
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I admit that I am not a picky eater by any stretch of the imagination. I eat just about anything. I also consider myself pretty adventurous; when I travel, eating good food and trying the local cuisine is at the top of my list!
But even I would be hard-pressed to eat durian or even balut.
Would I say absolutely not? I'll have to get back to you after a trip to Southeast Asia. The jury's out for now.
People had very strong opinions on the food they want nothing to do with after Redditor KentuckyFriedEel asked the online community,
"What dish/food can f*** right off?"
"The edible KFC nail polish. Imagine you are spending the day touching public door handles and keyboards and stuff and then sucking your fingers for chicken paint."
This... this exists?
I'm so happy I've never actually run into this. I was doing just fine without this knowledge.
"Canned whole chickens. Not sure if anyone's seen those, but I want to vomit right now just thinking about it."
I can only think about how slimy it must be from all that congealed fat and it grosses me out.
"Pufferfish. I mean, you need like 2 to 3 years of training to serve it and if you accidentally eat the wrong part it will kill you. The poison has no known antidote and 1 needle can kill 30 adult humans. Other than that, it's just a fish. There are thousands of fish all over the world, just eat a different one"
Yeah... I love seafood but I'll pass. I don't want to be that person. I'm good, thanks!
"For those who aren't familiar..."
"Gefilte fish. For those who aren't familiar, it's like a ball of fish guts packaged in a jar. It's a common food eaten during Pesach."
"Shark fin soup. No taste, no nutritional value. Only to be had to show wealth/status in certain countries. Most importantly, it's really f***** up the shark populations."
Environmentalists have done some splendid work getting people to stop eating this––and imitation shark fin soup seems to be more available than the real thing.
God created the heavens and the earth, and everything in his creation.
He allowed Satan to create one thing... one at all, and Satan created the durian."
"Natto/fermented soybeans. It's sticky and disgusting. It's like Death and Hell had a sticky baby."
"I'm sick of people..."
"Celery. Useless vegetable, no nutritional value at all and just tastes disgusting. I'm sick of people ruining perfectly good egg/potato salads and soups with freaking celery. It's just unnecessary."
Celery's only crime is how inoffensive it actually is. Does it deserve this hate? Probably not.
"Liver. I mean... it's a filter. Why would anyone want to eat a filter?"
You can pry my liver out of my cold, dead hands. I'll have yours if you don't want it!
"I thought I hated..."
"Canned Spinach. I thought I hated spinach for half my life. Nope, I love it, just not that snot in a can. Why did you feed me that mother? Why?"
Okay, what I've learned today is... I could have done without the thought of canned whole chicken. My stomach wants to reject it and it's not even in my stomach. That should tell you something.
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us all about them in the comments below!
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