Karma is real. Basically, your one job in life is to not be a complete jerk, so when you fail that test, the universe will arrange to get you back. And we'll be watching. And possibly laughing.
u/forevergallifralone asked Reddit:
What's the best case of Instant Karma you've witnessed?
Here were some of the best cases.
Karmic Capitalism
GiphyTwo of my friends and I were playing monopoly sometime around freshman year of high school. One of my friends owned all the railroads, meaning any player who landed on a railroad would pay him 200.
The entire game felt like I was just moving my token from railroad to railroad, paying my friend each time, having no opportunity to buy properties, and getting super frustrated (in reality it was probably only two or three times).
On my next roll, I quickly calculate which space I was going to land on as I start to move my token, and lo and behold, I was going to land on another f*cking railroad. I gracefully slide (cheat) passed the railroad and plop my piece on the next space, Chance.
Chance card read something as follows: "Move token to nearest railroad. Pay owner twice the amount."
I lost my sh*t.
'Nuff Said
I love car karma.
One time my dad was driving through a tunnel to get back from work. He was driving slower because it was snowing and extremely icy and, while it looked dry in the tunnel, it's pretty notorious for black ice.
Well this guy behind him is honking and flashing his lights while my dad is going a completely acceptable speed for the weather. The guy gets into the left lane and floors it into the tunnel. He hit a patch of black ice and immediately spun out and totaled his car.
Miraculously, no other cars were damaged, but that guy was lucky he walked away with no injuries.
Your Brain Took Control
I was at a touristy place at the top of a big cliff. People were hanging around at the top, just enjoying the view, and this one guy was eating a sandwich while staring at his phone. After he was done, he couldn't be bothered to find a trash can so he went to throw the sandwich wrappings off the cliff, but he got his hands confused and hurled his phone off the cliff instead.
Car-ma
A few years back, I was traveling on the interstate to meet some friends who attended a different college than I did for a weekend.
On the way there, I'm in the right hand lane, minding my own business, when a car tries to cut me off. No big deal right? Except she ended up clipping my bumper and running me off the road, with her driving speeds of ~80-85mph. Other driver keeps on going along her merry way, while I'm on the shoulder attempting to contact the local police to report an accident.
5 minutes later, a state trooper pulls up behind me and asks what happened. I explain the situation, describe the other vehicle, including a partial license plate number, and he asked if my car was still drivable. After confirming that it was, he said, "just follow me up to this next exit - I got a call about a driver who is out of gas and needs assistance."
We pull up to the next exit just shy of a gas station. Sure enough, it was the girl who was the other party in my hit and run. She tried to deny anything occurred, until the trooper looked at my front bumper damage, and her back end damage, assessed the paint colors matched, etc. Bonus is that her plate had the partial information I had gathered as she sped away.
Turns out, girl has no insurance and no license. Gets hauled off to jail on a hit-and-run, all because she couldn't slow her *ss down and be a decent driver.
Kick And Dodgeball
GiphyWas working at a trampoline park which had two different dodge ball areas. One for kids 12 and under, another for 13 and up. Annoying little sh*t of a kid kept trying to sneak into the 13 and up game, running around, breaking rules, and basically being a pain. We couldn't really do much about it.
Eventually I just let him sneak on and not a moment later he got smacked beautifully in the face with a rubber ball. Actually sent him flying back a couple feet.
He wasn't so keen to play after that.
The Faceless Fight
I just walked into a crowded bar with my friend back when we were in our early 20's. Make our way around the entrance handrails and bam this dude smashes his shoulder into mine knocking me back. Thinking it was just an accident caused by a crowded bar I start to recover and this dude throws his shoulder into me again. Before I can even begin to react to the second more aggressive hit, this monstrosity of a bouncer watching the whole things go down, picks the guy up and literally throws him out the exit doors.
It all happened in a matter of 5 seconds. I don't think any other person in that bar, nor my friend, even saw it go down.
Post-Trauma
Maybe not instant but close enough.
Working as a medic a long time ago and get called for a leg injury at a Friday night soccer game. We get there and determine it's most likely a torn ACL, painful but basically any hospital can handle and it's not really a priority. So we explain to the patient it will pry be faster and a lot cheaper if she just wants to have someone else drive her to the hospital that's literally around the block.
Here comes the white knight into our story. This guy oozed friend zone, explained how he's a medical student going for his doctorate and she needs to go to the local trauma center, which is a good 30 min drive. We explain no, we'll go to the local they can handle it, however the patient pulls the nastiest look at us and says her friend knows more than my partner and I because he's actually studying medicine and we're just ambulance drivers.
My partner and I give each other that look. An ACL tear isn't priority for trauma center, especially on a Friday night. Drunk driving crashes and gun shot wounds are gonna be taking up the ER there. We oblige the the request with documented protest.
The friend rides with us, we make him ride up front. He explains how the surgeon there is his friend and she'll get seen right away. We roll in and sure enough there's about a dozen ambulance crews trying to unload patients in much worse cases than ours.
We get to triage after about 15 mins, and the Rsn tells us to put her in the waiting room, she starts crying bloody murder. Cherry on top she asks her friend to do something, he calls his "buddy" surgeon down. Turns out not his buddy but one of his teachers who proceeds to yell at him about thinking that an ACL tear needs to come to a trauma center.
She could have been in and out the hospital in an hour if she had listened to us.
Spaghetti Stains
During my lunch break at work a few years ago, I ran over to this convenience store that sold a few deli items and also had a lunch of the day special. That day it was spaghetti.
I walked into the store and headed to the back to the coolers to grab a drink and I start walking over to the line that was formed to grab a lunch. This older woman, who was talking to a woman not even close to the line, saw me walking and literally strong armed me to get in front of me. She full on shoulder checked me. The cashier saw it, looked at me and I just shook my head as if to not call her out on it.
She gets two orders of spaghetti. They come in a Styrofoam compartment tray. She walked towards the door and someone comes in that she knows so she's saying hi. I pay for my food and I'm out the door.
As, I'm walking to my truck, I hear a loud "OOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFF". I turn around and this woman is planked on the ground with spaghetti and meat sauce all over her white shirt.
The Cops Came Through
Worked at a convenience store several years ago (check my other posts for a couple of funny stories). This was back before gas pumps were all either card at the pump or prepay. It was about 7am and the morning rush was on. A suspicious fella pulled up to our farthest away pump and positioned his car so that it was not easily visible from the building. This is a dead giveaway for someone who is going to drive off without paying. My manager and I watch this guy as we are ringing up other customers and sure enough, when he filled up, he gets in the car and peels out making a run for the road. He leaves our lot via a small access rd that ends at a traffic intersection. Red light. He stops for the light, then decides he needs to get the hell out of dodge and guns it again through the red light. When he does, he breaks his drive shaft. Car coasts to a stop right in the middle of the intersection.
But wait....theres more...
Guy walks back INTO THE STORE, and asks if he can use our phone because his car breaks down! My manager says "sure, after you pay for the gas you just stole." Guy gets all indignant "I didnt steal no motherf*ckin gas!" getting more and more agitated and confrontational. Just then two police officers walk in. Now these are two lady cops, both in their late 50's early 60's that usually are stationed at the local high schools but always stop in for a coffee and a pastry. These ladies are the nicest people you'd ever meet, always with smiles on their faces. As soon as they turn the corner after entering, they see the guy getting into it with my manager. Their demeanor's changed in an instant, going from kindly grandmother to IM GOING TO KICK YOUR F*CKING TEETH IN in microseconds. They manhandle this guy away from my manager, push him up against the wall, cuff him and stuff him.
You know how you always think to yourself "Why is there never a cop around when you need one?" This time there was.
Reckless Endangerment
GiphyI was driving on the freeway one day and needed to get over. I checked to make sure it was clear, signaled and changed lanes. I didn't realize there was an escalade coming up behind at over 100 mph in that lane. (He was going so fast that the lane looked clear when I checked 1 second ago.)
The escalade decided to teach me a lesson by acting like it wasn't going to stop and plow into me. There were now cars on both sides of me so I couldn't swerve out of the way. So the escalade screams up until last possible second and then hits the brakes hard so he matches my speed about a foot away from my bumper. While this is happening I'm freaking out and wobbling the car cause I think I'm going to get creamed.
The cop that was one lane over and 2 cars back immediately flipped on his lights and pulled them over. That was quite a roller coaster ride of emotions for me.
"Total" Karma
The first time I tried online dating was a f*cking disaster. The guy I texted wasn't too bad looking and seemed pretty normal. Until we met in person.
We decided to meet up at a coffee shop and drink some coffee together. That's when I found out that he was the biggest redneck I've ever met. I casually mentioned that I failed at my theoretical exam for my driver's license (my depression was at it's peak during that time, so I could hardly motivate myself to do anything at all, and studying was almost impossible). So apparently this guy thinks if you want a girl to like you, you better make fun of her failing at a test. He went on joking about how women are too dumb to drive. The people from the table next to ours looked at me and I could see from their faces that they felt sorry for me, because his insulting jokes didn't stop and he said them loud enough for everyone to hear.
I had no self-confidence back then so I just mumbled some bullsh*t excuse why I had to go home, got up and left.
Like half an hour later he called me, crying, because he had crashed his car - which he mentioned earlier was his one true love and his only hobby - into a tree. Nothing had happened to him but his car was so demolished that it couldn't be repaired.
Karma For My Ears
I'm from Denmark and I used to ride the bus 50ish minutes everyday to get to and from work. One day two people got on the bus a few stops after me: a rather large woman and a smaller man, both of them greenlanders (which becomes relevant later). I'm not sure what their relationship was - may have been mother and son, may have been a couple or something else.
As mentioned, the woman is rather large so she can't quite fit in the regular seats (which honestly is fair, there's not much legspace in our busses) so instead she sits in the middle portion of the bus where there are a few seats that are usually reserved for people with disabilities.
After a few minutes of driving she for some reason just kind of starts shouting? Not sure why or what and the man with her doesn't really do anything about it. I just turn the volume of my music up a bit and ignore it.
As we get closer to the city and more people enter the bus she starts bothering a lot of the people close to her, even going as far as to shouting at a girl who was exciting the bus (again, not sure exactly what she was shouting). Finally this older lady walks up to her and asks her firmly- but politely - to please keep her voice down. Upon hearing this she just kind of flips out and screams something along the lines of: "IS IT JUST BECAUSE I'M FROM GREENLAND? YOU FUCKING RACIST!" So the older lady just kind of backs off. At this point no one really wants to do anything about the shouting woman in the bus, and the mood is a bit tense in the bus.
A few more minutes pass as people enter and exit the bus, shouting lady still doing her thing, but then a ticket inspector enters the bus. He goes down the aisle between the seats and check the tickets and when he gets to her it turns out that she has no ticket. Her and the man with her are then asked to leave the bus with the ticket inspector and surely had to pay a fine for that.
Of course I have no idea what was going on and why she was shouting, but she was bothering so many people that it was so satisfying to watch her at least having to pay a fine for not purchasing a ticket.
Karma For The Bill
GiphyI often bring junk cars to a scrap processing yard and I did one of the workers there a favor and sold him a good running car for very cheap. he didn't have the extra $200 to pay so I told him it was ok and to get it to me another day. Well he went to ask his boss for an advance on his check to pay me sooner than later. (he gets by paycheck to paycheck) well his boss wasn't having it for some reason and instantly went off on him and completely humiliated him in front of everyone when he was only trying to right by me and my business. About 10 minutes later a HUGE tractor trailer misinterpreted the turn on to the scale and took out his bosses car completely tearing through the metal of his car from front to back damaging his doors fenders and mirrors and windows finally ripping his front bumper off completely. The worker I sold the car to right after says "what a shame, couldn't have happened to a nicer guy." You could see the blood boiling in his bosses face.
Karma That Would Make Macauley Culkin Proud
In 1988 when I was 8 and my brother was 10, we were flying from Florida to Arizona for the holidays by ourselves. Because we were kids flying solo, we were sat first on the plane. My bro and I are seated in the middle and window seats. A man in his 70's or so comes down the aisle and sits down in the aisle seat in our row. He hems and haws for a moment and starts aggressively pushing the stewardess call button. The stewardess comes over and he proceeds to go into a rant about how he paid good money for his seat and doesn't want to sit next to children. The stewardess asks him if we've bothered him and he says no. She tries to accommodate him by finding him another seat. He flat out refuses to move because again, he paid good money for this seat! The stewardess says "no problem, sir". It's a packed plane (holidays) so she says "Guess what kids! You're moving to first class!" The old guy starts saying "well, I'll move to first class, that's not a problem." The stewardess promptly says "no no no sir, you paid good money for this seat. You can stay right here." We moved to first class and it was tubular.
Sometimes Karma IS My Parent
That'd have to be me witnessing it with my Dad - he's wiring in a fridge and it doesn't have a fuse, so he puts a fuse in which might be too low in amps, he isn't sure what it was supposed to have in it, a fuse which predictably, blows and trips the breaker.
So, he grabs a piece of wire and uses that. Keep in mind that at this particular time I just passed an electronics and computing course, so I say to him "If that wasn't because the ampage was too low on the fuse and instead the fuse was right but something in the fridge is broken, instead of blowing a fuse it'll blow up the fridge instead because that wire won't melt like a fuse would".
Nah, he says, following by those iconic words "I know what I'm doing". I argue with him - pointing out there's a reasonable chance this thing will just blow if you turn it on, check what fuse it was supposed to have and get one of those.
He's adamant, this'll be fine he says, "I know what I'm doing".
The circuit breaker isn't too far away from the kitchen, I can see in through the door which the fridge is by if I look down the hallway.
Switch it all back on he says.
I saw the puff of smoke and flash of light from where I was stood, along with the sizeable "bang" that came from the bottom of the fridge.
Karma In A Court Of Law
This still makes me smile (something I've posted before, maybe from an old account).
When I was in university I took the bus to and from school every day (~1hr each way). The bus terminal for our suburb was at the end of my street through a path and on top of a big big hill down which you had to drive with all the other traffic to get into the city.
Get on the bus, the bus rolls up to the red light to wait for the green to pull out onto the main road.
Light turns green, bus starts to pull out. Suddenly the driver slams on the brakes, everyone lurches forward hard, and the driver lays on the horn.
As I look up I see this big ass silver Cadillac blasting through the red light. What's worse, the woman driving was this dyed-blonde-hair prissy 60s woman in a red power suit who simply flips the bus driver off without even looking and barrels down the hill.
The bus driver curses her out loud and we carry on.
Now, at the bottom of this hill the police often set up speed traps because they can catch people coming out of a curve on the road on the hill, people tend to go way over the limit in morning rush hour.
Guess who got caught?
The bus driver pulls the bus over by the speed trap and beckons a police officer who comes into the entry part of the bus. The bus driver says, "It still illegal to run red lights in this province?"
To which the cop replies, "Sure is. Did she?"
Bus driver, "Ohhh yeah."
The cop hands her his card and says, "Well here's my card, get in touch and if you're willing to come into court and testify we can tack that on as well."
And the bus driver says, "Honey. I get paid to go to court - I'll see you there."
And no joke, the whole bus erupted in applause.
We could have driven over an IED on the way to school that day and I still would have called it a good day.
Everyone, at some point in their lives, has managed to keep confidential information a secret.
Whether it was an individual's embarrassing past or someone else's behavior that you weren't supposed to witness but did, most people generally manage to show restraint by not revealing secrets.
Until they don't.
Sometimes it depends on how scandalous the secrets are.
But some are relatively easier to keep than others.
Curious to hear from strangers who've managed to be tight-lipped, Redditor MrBowls asked:
"What’s a harmless/non-serious secret you’ve kept forever?"
These Redditors did what they could to keep up with appearances.
Covering Up Mom's Habit
"My mom was a meth addict. So my siblings and I grew up with very little. Normally she would pull her head out of her a** enough around the holiday season to sign up with a church or charity to get us a food box and some presents. However by the time I was 11 she was so far gone we could go weeks without seeing her leave her room or her be completely gone from the house. I entered a drawing contest at my school around this time. I won a $100 gift certificate to our local mall."
"One day after making sure my siblings made it to school I played hooky and walked to the mall(about 3.5 miles) I bought my three siblings some presents(almost forgot to get myself something ended up buying some discounted body wash) then had them wrapped there at the mall before trekking home. I hid the presents in the crawl space till the 24th (I was right our mom did nothing) when my siblings were distracted by a movie, I snuck out and put the box of presents on the front porch before knocking and running away. I snuck back in the back door by the bathroom and heard my siblings yelling 'someone left a box on the porch that says Merry Christmas' I had also spent the last week before winter break going door to door asking for canned food donations, saying it was for a food drive at my church (I didn't have a church) so that we didn't spent the whole winter break hungry."
"I'm so glad all 4 of us made it out of our childhood, and not one of us took the same path as the woman who birthed us Edit:spelling."
– Beautiful_Ad1219
Keeping Up A Ruse
"My friend is a major, major, Death Cab for Cutie fan. They came to our city a couple years ago, and I knew she wouldn’t be able to afford the tickets to go. She was upbeat about it, but I know she was devastated by it."
"I bought tickets. Two days before the show, I told her that the friend I originally planned to take couldn’t go, and would she please come with me? There was no other friend. Told her I loved the band and would be sad to miss them. She of course accepted, and had the time of her life."
"She’s doing much better now, but every couple of Christmases or Birthdays, she gets me some Death Cab merchandise because 'she knows how much I love the band.'"
"I can’t stand their music. I literally have them blocked on Spotify. But now it’s gone too far where I can’t tell her."
– chernygal
A Worthy Replacement
"First marriage to my late wife, on the day of the wedding, the ring got stolen out of my car. I was freaking out. My two best men went into overdrive and took a picture I had if the ring and went to I don't know how many jewelry stores explaining what had happened and if they had a ring that was similar."
"They went to this really great jewelry maker so said, 'I have something that is really close, give me a bit and I can make it perfect.'"
"He worked his a** off and got it done with about an hour to spare, plus the managed to get my window fixed."
"The three of us are the only ones who know. It stays that way! I ended up using that jewelry maker for any jewelry I needed and well I haven't stopped yet."
"He ended up telling my best men to not worry about the price and for me to come down after the honeymoon to work it out. I did and he gave it to me at the cost of the materials. He is a great guy. He retired during COVID."
– UtahCyan
Nobody needed to know. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.
Crafty Dad
"My mum is a health nut (with probably disordered eating) who wouldn’t let us have cheese in the house when I was kid. When I was mid 20s, I bought a unit and my dad was helping me fix stuff up so I provided lunch. I said to him - bet you’re going to hate going back to work next week and not have any cheese on your sandwiches. It was then he told me his deepest secret, he had been buying blocks of cheese at work for years. I had no idea he was crafty. And my mum still doesn’t. Poor dad has been retired for years though so not sure on the current cheese consumption status."
– rumblemumbles
Don't Pet Raccoons
"One day I came home late at night drunk and decided to walk my dog. Just when we arrived outside my house my dog attacked a racoon hanging around the area. I ended up wrestling my malamute and freed the racoon from his jaws."
"Here's the thing. I was drunk and the racoon kinda just stared at me infront of me and I decided to try and pet the racoon. I got maybe one pet in before it took a chunk out of my finger. I ran into the house leaving a trail of blood up to my brothers room for help. A sleepless night in the hospital and 4 consecutive rabies shots later was the result."
"Everyone asked me what happened and I just told them while I heroically wrestled my dog to save the racoon I got bit in the process. They still don't know the real story. It still gets brought up 10 years year."
– August-thecow
Saving Dad's Life
"I was about 10 years old and was pretending to be sick to avoid going to school. This was the 1980's so the old-school, glass tube, mercury-filled thermometers were still a thing."
"My dad was getting ready to leave for work as I worked my magic to convince my mom to let me stay home for the day. Neither one of them was having it. I persisted."
"Out of frustration, my mom grabbed the thermometer and put it under my tongue. I knew it would read 98.6 and this was my only shot to avoid school for the day."
"Both of my parents stepped out of the room for a moment. I looked over and saw my dad's piping hot cup of coffee sitting on the counter awaiting his morning commute. I quickly dipped the thermo into the hot java."
"It instantly shattered emptying the toxic mercury into the coffee along with tiny shards of glass. I panicked. In my mind, there were only a couple possible outcomes. My dad dies of heavy metal poisoning and a lacerated esophagus. Or, I fess up to what I did."
"I could hear them coming around the corner about to return to the kitchen. At the last possible second, I swatted my dad's mug off the kitchen counter smashing it on the floor creating a coffee explosion in my mom's freshly cleaned kitchen."
"They burst in the kitchen aghast at the mess I created. I reply with a flurry of sorrys and apologize profusely for being clumsy. My dad is furious because now he won't have coffee on his way to work. My mom is pissed and she starts cleaning up the mess."
"In the chaos everyone forgets about my claims of illness. I slipped the remainder of the broken thermo into the trash and went to the bus stop saving my father from a horrible death--at least in my mind at the time. Until this day, I have never told anyone about this."
– from_the_interwebz
These anecdotes will warm your heart.
Encouraging A Splurge
"I convinced my sister I had entered us both in a blog giveaway, I won a coupon but she won the grand prize , a $300 gift card to Lane Bryant. My sister was a size 16, and desperately needed new clothes but would spend money on her baby grandkids and thin adult daughters. This was the only way I could make sure she spent it on herself. It’s been 10 years. She’s doesn’t know."
"Edit: thank you kind strangers. I’m glad she doesn’t know what Reddit is, or she’d definitely figure this out !"
– Remarkable_Story9843
A Dying Mother's Legacy
"When my wife died, she had been working on 'special occasion' letters for all of our kids. Towards the end, the cancer had spread to her brain and she wasn’t able to focus on writing much, and when she did, it was often unintelligible gibberish. I tried to help her by taking dictation but she said it would mean more if it was in her own handwriting and wanted to finish it. She slipped into a coma and died after only getting through a handful of letters for our eldest child, leaving addressed envelopes only for our other two kids."
"I knew this would be devastating for the three kids, and possibly create conflict, so I paid a woman who specialized in calligraphy to literally duplicate my wife’s handwriting. I gave her the content, channeling my wife’s comments she made to me about what I thought would be meaningful words to our three kids when I had helped her dictate a few. And, as she wanted, I have passed them out on special occasions of wedding dates, birth of first child dates, first day of college dates, etc."
"My kids don’t know. They’ve even shared the ones she actually wrote with ones written by her surrogate and thus far the secret remains safe. I haven’t told anyone else this but Reddit and hope it stays here a secret as well. I’ll take it to my grave. I consider it harmless as it was her intent but cancer robs so much from people afflicted with it…including their best, most sincere attempts at helping others cope with the loss themselves."
"EDIT: Wow, thank you for all the awards and comments of encouragement gang. I’m humbled by some of the messages. Thank you."
– Walleyevision
As you see, secrets are complicated depending on the situation.
Some secrets are kept to not only respect the privacy of others, but also out of kindness to protect the positive illusion to disguise a cruel reality.
Can you be trusted with keeping a secret under any circumstance?
Redditor chrispdx was curious to hear which foods people eat in wildly different manners than intended, leading them to ask:
"What's a food that you eat completely different than it's normally eaten?"
No Method, Just Eat!
"Unfortunately for my health I eat most food like Kirby."- gildorratner
Deconstructed Pizza
"Not me (because its bonkers) but a friend."
"Scrapes all the cheese/toppings off the pizza and eats the slice first."
"Does this with several slices then eats all the cheese/toppings at the end."
"It makes me insane."- FantasticPear
From Bottom To Top
"I like to flip muffins upside down, remove the wrapper, and eat them from the bottom up."
"It's less messy, and the top is the best part because it's got better textures."
"Obviously, this does not work when they're dusted with sugar or have other toppings thrown on top."- NoMoreMonkeyBrain
time muffin GIFGiphyNo Time To Peel
"Not me but I saw someone go into an orange with the peel on and I almost passed out."- greenteaburnout
Fingers Be Damned
"I eat popcorn by darting my tongue at each piece the way a frog eats flies."- Lowerea
But Do You Eat The Crust?
"I eat sandwiches in a circular way.. like I spiral it."
"After 8 years together my wife finally noticed last week and asked wtf is wrong with me."- SkydivingSquid
sandwich GIFGiphyME TOO! (Honestly, I DO! And I Dip Them In Blue Cheese Crumbles...)
"I eat croutons out of the bag like chips."- Admirable_Cycle2
Saving The Best For Last
"Not in public, but when I'm home alone away from judging eyes..."
"...I eat the crust off my mozzarella sticks first, and then pop the whole blob of melted mozzarella into my mouth."
"So cheesey, so salty, so satisfying, and best of all: no sad flour flavor."- Fyraen
oreo GIFHonestly, Not A Terrible Idea
"I don't still do it because I have learned better but the packets of instant ramen that you cook in the Pan."
"I never knew it was supposed to be a soup with noodles."
"My dad taught me that you cook them down until all of the liquid is completely gone and you end up with flavored noodles."
"The noodles then would become a side for a liver sausage sandwich on rye bread, never anything else, just with that sandwich!"- mkrzemin
Much Less Messy
"I cut the corn off the cob with a knife."
"It all gets stuck in my teeth otherwise."- Plus-Statistician80
Personal Taste... Literally
"I prefer some fruits less ripe because I prefer sour."- BasuraIncognito
raisels fruit splash GIFGiphyHold The Crunch
"Capt'n Crunch."
"I suck all the milk out of every bite, then chew."
"It's basically like trying to chew sandpaper, but the sensory effects of it are super satisfying."- cthulucore
Time Consuming, But Worth It
"I meticulously remove the center of a Reese's peanut butter cup, consume all the peanut butter first without breaking the chocolate ring, and then eat the ring by itself at the end."- PetersWolf4212
Crunchy Munchies!
"Dry cereal."
"Love the taste of just the cereal & I dislike milk."
"Don’t like it when crispy foods get soggy, so I just eat dry cereal w/ a spoon & wash down with my coffee."- Confident-Bid142
Hungry Lucky Charms GIF by Dark IglooGiphyThere's a more than likely chance that someone will give you side-eye, or even scoff at you should you eat your food differently than they do.
As long as the food tastes delicious, that's their problem and not yours.
And who wouldn't agree that the top is the best part of the muffin?
Redditor Own_Championship7862 wanted everyone to share some off-the-wall facts, so they asked:
"What’s an unusual fact that most people don’t know?"
I have no odd and fabulous facts to share.
So teach me. I am a sponge.
Keep them All!!
Friends Infomercial GIFGiphy"When someone gets a kidney transplant they generally just cram the new one in and don't take out the old ones. So the person ends up with three kidneys."
Optimal_Towel
"They continue this with multiple kidney transplants too. Had a patient recently on her third transplant and yep, there are five kidneys crammed into her abdomen. Too risky to take any of the other ones out."
baconboy73
Body Works
"When going to surgery for a gunshot, we don't typically search for bullets. The body will encapsulate it to protect itself."
New-Inspector-9628
"As I remember Rene Pretre a worldwide famous surgeon talking about this: There's a lot more about the decision to either leave the bullet or do get it out. It depends on a lot of factors. In the old times, as medicine was not that good, it was a thing that they could not get the bullets out when it was in a difficult position inside the bodies. Today, it's different."
"Also, it depends on the bullet itself, not every bullet stays solid - a bullet can be halfway shattered without having the effect of a dumdum bullet, later in the process of healing it could still be that fragments get off and make problems. Today, it's also easier to prevent and treat infections, this was a big killer in the old times."
Diacetyl-Morphin
Growing and Growing
"I have recently learned that Lobsters don't display senescence which is the deterioration of the body as it ages. Their bodies are continuously growing and their exoskeletons get heavier and heavier, hence when they molt into a new exoskeleton it takes more and more energy to take off the old one."
"Eventually they die because one day they just go, 'Yeeeeeaaaah sooo like this exoskeleton is too heavy so imma just go meet Lobster God and head out from the mortal world.'"
"Now a thought... If a group of people helped a lobster shed it's exo- skeleton... And if said lobster kept growing... Technically, a giant lobster could be brought into existence should the lobster not die from old age."
FunnyComedian8290
Get Out
"More eels swim out of the Bermuda Triangle than swim into it."
Optimal_Towel
"Most eel species breed in the Sargasso Sea - aka the Bermuda Triangle. There’s a type of seaweed that lives on the top of the ocean called Sargassum that turtles, eels, and a bunch of animals use as a breeding ground. Eels go there, lay their eggs, little silver eels babies pop out and go back home."
roseygrl98
Revolutions
Venus GIF by The TelegraphGiphy"A day on Venus (one complete rotation around its axis) is longer than a year (a complete revolution around the sun) on Venus."
GRL_1151
The galaxy is too cool.
We'll never know enough.
Head Butt Time
giraffes fighting GIFGiphy"The male giraffe will continuously headbutt the female in the bladder until she urinates. The male then tastes the pee and that helps it determine whether the female is ovulating. If she is, it’s business time."
hornypandey
Go Vanillla
"Wearing white wedding dresses only came into fashion after Queen Victoria started the trend. White isn’t meant to have any other meaning or represent purity as many people think. Before this trend, most brides just wore their best dress of any color as it was expensive to buy a dress just for the occasion."
week7
Active Ingredients
"I love when this question comes up because I get to talk about the thunder clappers."
"When the Lewis and Clark expedition was exploring the west of North America, their diet of dried meat left them constipated. They were all taking these pills called thunder clappers to make themselves sh*t. The active ingredient in thunder clappers is mercury, and historians can track the expedition because they left increased deposits of mercury in the soil."
KerchBridgeSmoker
Color Schemes
"Pink used to be a masculine color."
"During the height of the British Empire, the soldiers in the far reaches of the world donned their red coats in battle and patrol. The newer recruits would look especially sharp with a bold red color. The rugged war heroes though? Their coats were faded and worn into more of a pink color."
"If you saw a guy wearing a pink coat, odds are they have stories to tell with a thousand-yard stare. This became a desirable thing to show off your experience and grit. Hence pink was associated with combat prowess and ruggedness and became a masculine color during that time."
ChristIsLordAlmighty
War Incentives?
Ice Cream Elmo GIF by SésamoGiphy"In WWII, the American navy had barges with ice cream bars on them to visit soldiers in the Pacific after battles as a way of boosting morale."
Not-sure-wtf-I-am
Yuck!
"McDonald's engineered bubblegum flavored broccoli in an attempt to get kids to eat more vegetables.
"They still didn't want to eat it."
cmad182
I love broccoli.
I love gum.
I would not eat them as one.
We can't learn everything in school, and maybe that's a good thing—because these bizarre historical facts are too weird for a textbook. Like Abraham Lincoln's other assassination, Thomas Edison's little-known dark side, or Mozart's obsession with butts...and that's just naming a few. Strap in for this VERY strange ride.
1. Queen Elizabeth Had A Nasty Mouth
Although dental hygiene was not necessarily at its peak in Tudor England, Queen Elizabeth I’s fondness for sweets gave her pearly whites an even darker tone...in fact, her chompers were probably very black. More than that, since sugar was a luxury, some women then blackened their teeth both to emulate their queen and show off their wealth.
2. Thomas Edison Was Evil
The famous inventor Thomas Edison had a huge dark side not many people know about. For example, he used electricity to publicly kill animals. He wanted to show how alternating current was more dangerous than the "direct" current that he used. On one occasion, he used A/C to execute a rogue circus elephant named "Topsy" in front of thousands of people.
3. Alexander The Great's Mother Was Scary
File:Cassandre et Olympia-Jean Joseph Taillasson mg 8223.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.org
Queen Olympias was Alexander the Great's mother, and she was even more ruthless than her son. On one occasion, she sent a captive enemy queen a cup of poison, a noose, and a sword...then told her to choose how she would die. According to history, the woman chose to hang herself, though she cursed Olympias to the very end of her life.
4. Napoleon Used His Wife As A "Womb"
Napoleon Bonaparte famously adored his wife Josephine, but few people remember the dark end of their love affair. Tragically, Josephine couldn't have children, so Napoleon made a hard choice: He divorced Josephine and took up with Marie-Louise of Austria. Napoleon reportedly told his blushing bride straight off, “It is a womb that I am marrying.”
5. Ernest Hemingway Almost Died In Back-To-Back Plane Crashes
In 1954, the macho writer Ernest Hemingway got into a plane crash. He miraculously survived, but that was just the start of the nightmare. When he tried to take another plane to get medical help, that plane exploded upon taking off. Hemingway managed to survive again. Talk about bad luck. Or wait a minute...actually, is that good luck?
6. King Edward VIII Was A Colossal Jerk
King Edward VIII and Mrs Simpson on holiday in Yugoslavia,… | Flickrwww.flickr.com
King Edward VIII lost his brother Prince John at a young age from a severe seizure. The boy had suffered from epilepsy and other ailments for years, but Edward’s response was so disturbing, it’s impossible to forget. He referred to John’s passing as “little more than a regrettable nuisance.”
7. The FBI Knew About Pearl Harbor
The FBI ignored compelling evidence about the attack on Pearl Harbor because they didn’t trust the Serbian double agent Dusan Popov, who was apparently a gambling, lustful lush. Dusan's nickname around town was "tricycle" because of his infamous love of threesomes. Unsurprisingly, he was one of the inspirations for Ian Fleming’s James Bond.
8. There Were Original "Siamese Twins"
Two Siam natives, Chang and Eng Bunker, were American twins joined at the sternum. During the American Civil War in 1865, Eng’s name was drawn in a draft lottery, but not Chang's. There was little the conscription officials could do: The brothers were not only joined at the sternum, but their livers were also fused. Neither twin served in the conflict.
9. Ben Franklin Had Bodies In His Basement
File:Joseph Siffrein Duplessis - Benjamin Franklin - Google Art ...en.wikipedia.org
While renovating his home into a museum, researchers made a horrific discovery at Ben Franklin's house. They found 10 bodies in the founding father's basement. This led to speculation he may have been a serial killer. However, the bodies were more likely cadavers used for the anatomical studies of one of Franklin’s friends.
10. You Can Use Honey For Some Messed-Up Activities
King Herod, the tyrant king of Judea, had his wife, Mariamne I, preserved in honey after her death. Herod ordered her execution, but found her too beautiful to bury and so kept and preserved her body for seven years. Herod suffered from paranoid delusions, rage, and arteriosclerosis, but his death in 4 BCE came at the hands of a mysterious and agonizing illness that modern doctors are still not able to identify.
At one point, the pain was so excruciating, the king attempted to take his own life. The illness came to be known, among the Judean people, as “Herod’s Evil.”
11. Abraham Lincoln Cheated Death Once
Abraham Lincoln was almost killed two years before he was assassinated. Late one August evening in 1863, Lincoln rode alone by horse to his family’s summer residence. A private at the gate heard a shot ring out and, moments later, a bareheaded Lincoln clinging to his steed galloped into the yard. Lincoln explained that gunfire at the foot of the hill had sent his horse into a frenzied gallop, running so fast that it knocked his hat off.
The two men retrieved Lincoln’s hat, which had a bullet hole in it. Lincoln asked the guards to keep the incident quiet because he didn’t want to worry his wife...
12. Public Beddings Were A Thing
File:Catherine de Médicis - entourage de François Clouet.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.org
Catherine de Medici was only 14 when she married Henri, the son of King Francis. And although she was young, the King and other older men insisted on watching the consummation of the marriage.
13. The Most Ruthless French Queen
The Tour de Nesle affair was a scandal in the French royal family in 1314. In it, Queen Isabella of England accused her sisters-in-law of adultery. The scandal led to the imprisonment of the women and the execution of their lovers. The lovers were then executed. Most histories agree that they were first castrated and then drawn and quartered.
14. Marie Curie Slowly Killed Herself
Marie Curie, the chemist who conducted pioneering research on radioactivity, was completely in the dark when it came to the dangers of radioactive materials. Though she and her husband both suffered from chronic pain, neither considered that it was their radioactive substance-handling that was the cause. It was. Some of their original lab equipment is still so radioactive that we cannot safely view or study them.
15. George Bush Coined An Unfortunate Word
File:George H. W. Bush presidential portrait (cropped 2) (a).jpg ...commons.wikimedia.org
After George Bush Sr. vomited on the Japanese Prime Minister, the Japanese invented a new word: Bushusuru. This means to “do the Bush thing” or to “publicly vomit.”
16. Gandhi Liked To Tempt Himself With Young Women
Today we see Gandhi as a figure of peaceful protest and understanding. But there's a side of him no one knows. At the age of 36, while married, Gandhi became more and more obsessed with lust. In order to train and “perfect” his control over his desires, Gandhi would sleep undressed with young women. But one night, he committed an act so heinous that it made his own staff member quit on him forever.
Gandhi had performed this sleeping act with his own grand-niece named Manu. His stenographer left in disgust.
17. The Most Notorious Hollywood Eccentric
Howard Hughes was one of the most successful men of his time, producing many famous movies and dating Hollywood's most beautiful women. However, later in life, he became a complete hermit. Hughes spent his days in hotels, refusing to make eye contact with his aides. He also stopped bathing completely. Even more gross? He only cut his hair and nails cut once a year.
18. Nero Hated His Mother
File:15-07-05-Schloß-Caputh-RalfR-N3S 1528.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
According to one ancient historian, the mad Emperor Nero tried and failed several times to kill his mother Agrippina the Younger, each time trying to up the ante. First, he tried to poison her on several occasions, but she always took an antidote each time. Then, he constructed a machine that would collapse her bedroom ceiling on her while she slept, but she caught wind of the plot and escaped.
Finally, he—seriously—invented a collapsible boat that would drown her while she was on a pleasure cruise. Reader, SHE STILL SURVIVED.
19. Grace Kelly Was A Homewrecker
Grace Kelly has a pristine, princess-like reputation in Hollywood, but nothing could be further from the truth. She had affairs with, and I quote, "everybody." She fell for so many of her older male co-stars that multiple biographers have wondered if Kelly had some daddy issues. There was Gary Cooper, Clark Gable, and Ray Milland, just to name a few. Milland's wife even called Kelly a "home-wrecker."
20. Victorians Had Impossible Beauty Standards
Although the hourglass figure has always held a special appeal across Western cultures, the Victorians took their obsession to a whole new level in their use of corsets. These waist-cinching devices, while successful in achieving a "wasp waist," had some major health repercussions. Besides causing fainting spells, which the era’s ladies unsurprisingly became famous for, the restriction on women’s lungs likely worsened potentially deadly ailments like pneumonia and tuberculosis.
21. Sweden Wasn't Always Peaceful
File:Verwilt - Erik XiV DSC6824.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
Erik XIV of Sweden was super paranoid. It wasn’t unusual for people caught laughing, smiling, or whispering within Erik’s earshot to find themselves on trial for treason. Somewhat ironically, he passed in 1577 when someone poisoned his pea soup. We guess just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.
22. Mary Shelley Kept Her Husband's Heart
Frankenstein author Mary Shelley had a pretty gross secret hidden away in her desk: her dead husband’s heart. When her husband, the poet Percy Bysshe Shelley, drowned in a boating accident, he was cremated, but his heart remained intact. Mary eventually took possession of it, and researchers discovered it in her desk when she passed a few years later.
23. King Henry VIII Had Royal Bottom Wipers
The infamous King Henry VIII employed four Grooms of the Stool, men whose job it was to wipe the royal bottom and attend to his other private needs. It was a position of great honor, but also—as one Groom soon discovered—incredibly grave danger. Henry VIII executed one of his bathroom staff, Sir Henry Norris, on trumped-up charges that he was sleeping with Henry's second wife Anne Boleyn.
24. Versailles Wasn't As Glamorous As We Think
Château de Versailles (Yvelines) | Le château vue depuis le … | Flickrwww.flickr.com
The legendary Palace of Versailles had everything—except enough toilets for everybody. Despite the villa’s luxury, Versailles simply didn’t have enough public water closets to accommodate Louis XIV’s huge court. It wasn’t uncommon for courtiers to pay each other for access to those precious commodes…or else, they simply went in the corner.
25. Mozart Loved Poop
Mozart was surprisingly obsessed with bathroom humor. Two of his songs actually talk about analingus. He also wrote letters to his family where he described his bowel movements in great detail.
26. King George IV Got A Brutal Revenge
King George IV hated his wife Caroline of Brunswick. When their only daughter perished in childbirth, George didn't even tell Caroline. She had to find out by accident through a courier.
27. Joan Crawford Once Gave Her Crush A Disturbing "Gift"
File:Joan Crawford in Humoresque, 1946 (cropped).png - Wikimedia ...commons.wikimedia.org
Actress Joan Crawford once came on to her co-star Henry Fonda by making him a red sequined jockstrap.
28. A King Of Egypt Had A Disgusting Appetite
While many of Egypt’s citizens starved, King Farouk of Egypt reportedly ate 600 oysters a week. Not content with this, he also bought a candy red Bentley, then demanded that no one else paint their own cars red.
29. Jack The Ripper Might Have Been A Royal
For a long time, people thought Queen Victoria's grandson Prince Albert Victor was Jack the Ripper.
30. A Famous Comedian Hated One Color
File:Peter Sellers at home in Belgravia, London, 1973.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.org
Comedian Peter Sellers hated the color green. He claimed it gave him “strange vibrations.” He not only refused to wear the hue, but he also refused to act opposite of anyone who did.
31. Russian Tsarinas Had A Naughty Addiction
Foot tickling was used in the Muscovite palaces and courts for centuries as a means of arousal. Many of the Czarinas (Catherine the Great, Anna Ivanovna, and others) loved it. It was so popular that eunuchs and women were employed as full-time foot ticklers.
32. The Royal Mistress Who Was A Dominatrix
Dancer and royal mistress Lola Montez carried a whip around wherever she went and lashed it out on anyone who displeased her, including members of the public, bored theatre-goers, and critics who gave her bad reviews.
33. Dracula Had A Dirty Little Secret
File:Bela Lugosi as Dracula.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
Dracula actor Bela Lugosi once had an affair with starlet Clara Bow, and commissioned an undressed portrait of the actress. He then displayed the large painting prominently in all of his homes from 1929 until his passing—including in the houses he shared with his last two wives.
34. Einstein Was Stupid In One Way
Albert Einstein's secretary once got an anonymous call asking where Einstein lived. The secretary declined to respond. The caller then admitted he was Einstein himself, and that he had forgotten his address.
35. Isaac Newton May Have Been A Virgin
Though Isaac Newton lived to be 84, he never married. Some even believe he never lost his virginity.
36. This Medieval Queen Was A Grave-Robber
File:Joanna of castile with her children.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
Shortly after her beloved husband's passing, Queen Joanna of Castile ordered his body exhumed, had the casket opened, jumped to his side once again, and kissed his dearly departed feet. She then carried his casket everywhere with her.
37. Cleopatra Had Wild Parties
Cleopatra wasn’t just a powerful queen; she was also a party girl. She created a drinking club known as the “Inimitable Livers” with her husband Marc Antony. The club would feast and drink heavily and then go out to play pranks on unsuspecting citizens.
38. People Actually Slept In Coffins
Actress Sarah Bernhardt had a peculiar obsession with death, and from the tender age of 15 onward, she sometimes slept in a custom-made, satin-lined rosewood coffin.
39. Caligula Loved His Horse WAY Too Much
File:Antonio Tempesta (1555-1630) (after) - Caligula (AD 12–41 ...commons.wikimedia.org
The Roman Emperor Gaius Caligula made his horse a senator.
40. The Prince Who Was Raised Like A Girl
Philippe, Duke of Orleans was the brother of King Louis XIV. To prevent Philippe from threatening his famous brother, Philippe's mother Queen Anne of Austria raised him to be very feminine, calling him “my little girl” and even urging him to dress up in frilly, feminine clothing as a child.
41. History's Most Shocking Sideshow
Tarrare was an 18th-century French showman. His party trick? He obsessively ate everything, and lots of it. His circus act had him eating, among other things, whole live animals, a basket of apples, and even rocks.
42. A "Huge" Claim To Fame
File:Porfirio Rubirosa, circa 1954.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
1950s international playboy Porfirio Rubirosa had such an infamously large "package," Parisian waiters used to call their 16-inch pepper mills "Rubirosas."
43. Tsar Ivan Really Was Terrible
When Tsar Ivan the Terrible saw his pregnant daughter-in-law walking around in clothing that he didn't approve of, he absolutely snapped. He viciously attacked her, causing her to miscarry. When his son came into the room, Ivan also ended up killing him in a fit of rage.
44. But He Wasn't The Only Mad Russian
Anna, the "Mad Tsarina" of Russia, once tormented one of her hated courtiers by locking him up in an ice palace for the night. Before that, she made him pretend to be a chicken, sitting in her ante-chamber and "laying" eggs.
45. King Tut Was The Product Of The Siblings
File:King Tut Burial Mask (23785641449).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
King Tutankhamun passed at the tender age of 18. Some researchers believe he died from genetic disease, due to the fact his parents were brother and sister.