Karma is real. Basically, your one job in life is to not be a complete jerk, so when you fail that test, the universe will arrange to get you back. And we'll be watching. And possibly laughing.
u/forevergallifralone asked Reddit:
Here were some of the best cases.
Two of my friends and I were playing monopoly sometime around freshman year of high school. One of my friends owned all the railroads, meaning any player who landed on a railroad would pay him 200.
The entire game felt like I was just moving my token from railroad to railroad, paying my friend each time, having no opportunity to buy properties, and getting super frustrated (in reality it was probably only two or three times).
On my next roll, I quickly calculate which space I was going to land on as I start to move my token, and lo and behold, I was going to land on another f*cking railroad. I gracefully slide (cheat) passed the railroad and plop my piece on the next space, Chance.
Chance card read something as follows: "Move token to nearest railroad. Pay owner twice the amount."
I lost my sh*t.
I love car karma.
One time my dad was driving through a tunnel to get back from work. He was driving slower because it was snowing and extremely icy and, while it looked dry in the tunnel, it's pretty notorious for black ice.
Well this guy behind him is honking and flashing his lights while my dad is going a completely acceptable speed for the weather. The guy gets into the left lane and floors it into the tunnel. He hit a patch of black ice and immediately spun out and totaled his car.
Miraculously, no other cars were damaged, but that guy was lucky he walked away with no injuries.
Your Brain Took Control
I was at a touristy place at the top of a big cliff. People were hanging around at the top, just enjoying the view, and this one guy was eating a sandwich while staring at his phone. After he was done, he couldn't be bothered to find a trash can so he went to throw the sandwich wrappings off the cliff, but he got his hands confused and hurled his phone off the cliff instead.
A few years back, I was traveling on the interstate to meet some friends who attended a different college than I did for a weekend.
On the way there, I'm in the right hand lane, minding my own business, when a car tries to cut me off. No big deal right? Except she ended up clipping my bumper and running me off the road, with her driving speeds of ~80-85mph. Other driver keeps on going along her merry way, while I'm on the shoulder attempting to contact the local police to report an accident.
5 minutes later, a state trooper pulls up behind me and asks what happened. I explain the situation, describe the other vehicle, including a partial license plate number, and he asked if my car was still drivable. After confirming that it was, he said, "just follow me up to this next exit - I got a call about a driver who is out of gas and needs assistance."
We pull up to the next exit just shy of a gas station. Sure enough, it was the girl who was the other party in my hit and run. She tried to deny anything occurred, until the trooper looked at my front bumper damage, and her back end damage, assessed the paint colors matched, etc. Bonus is that her plate had the partial information I had gathered as she sped away.
Turns out, girl has no insurance and no license. Gets hauled off to jail on a hit-and-run, all because she couldn't slow her *ss down and be a decent driver.
Kick And DodgeballGiphy
Was working at a trampoline park which had two different dodge ball areas. One for kids 12 and under, another for 13 and up. Annoying little sh*t of a kid kept trying to sneak into the 13 and up game, running around, breaking rules, and basically being a pain. We couldn't really do much about it.
Eventually I just let him sneak on and not a moment later he got smacked beautifully in the face with a rubber ball. Actually sent him flying back a couple feet.
He wasn't so keen to play after that.
The Faceless Fight
I just walked into a crowded bar with my friend back when we were in our early 20's. Make our way around the entrance handrails and bam this dude smashes his shoulder into mine knocking me back. Thinking it was just an accident caused by a crowded bar I start to recover and this dude throws his shoulder into me again. Before I can even begin to react to the second more aggressive hit, this monstrosity of a bouncer watching the whole things go down, picks the guy up and literally throws him out the exit doors.
It all happened in a matter of 5 seconds. I don't think any other person in that bar, nor my friend, even saw it go down.
Maybe not instant but close enough.
Working as a medic a long time ago and get called for a leg injury at a Friday night soccer game. We get there and determine it's most likely a torn ACL, painful but basically any hospital can handle and it's not really a priority. So we explain to the patient it will pry be faster and a lot cheaper if she just wants to have someone else drive her to the hospital that's literally around the block.
Here comes the white knight into our story. This guy oozed friend zone, explained how he's a medical student going for his doctorate and she needs to go to the local trauma center, which is a good 30 min drive. We explain no, we'll go to the local they can handle it, however the patient pulls the nastiest look at us and says her friend knows more than my partner and I because he's actually studying medicine and we're just ambulance drivers.
My partner and I give each other that look. An ACL tear isn't priority for trauma center, especially on a Friday night. Drunk driving crashes and gun shot wounds are gonna be taking up the ER there. We oblige the the request with documented protest.
The friend rides with us, we make him ride up front. He explains how the surgeon there is his friend and she'll get seen right away. We roll in and sure enough there's about a dozen ambulance crews trying to unload patients in much worse cases than ours.
We get to triage after about 15 mins, and the Rsn tells us to put her in the waiting room, she starts crying bloody murder. Cherry on top she asks her friend to do something, he calls his "buddy" surgeon down. Turns out not his buddy but one of his teachers who proceeds to yell at him about thinking that an ACL tear needs to come to a trauma center.
She could have been in and out the hospital in an hour if she had listened to us.
During my lunch break at work a few years ago, I ran over to this convenience store that sold a few deli items and also had a lunch of the day special. That day it was spaghetti.
I walked into the store and headed to the back to the coolers to grab a drink and I start walking over to the line that was formed to grab a lunch. This older woman, who was talking to a woman not even close to the line, saw me walking and literally strong armed me to get in front of me. She full on shoulder checked me. The cashier saw it, looked at me and I just shook my head as if to not call her out on it.
She gets two orders of spaghetti. They come in a Styrofoam compartment tray. She walked towards the door and someone comes in that she knows so she's saying hi. I pay for my food and I'm out the door.
As, I'm walking to my truck, I hear a loud "OOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFF". I turn around and this woman is planked on the ground with spaghetti and meat sauce all over her white shirt.
The Cops Came Through
Worked at a convenience store several years ago (check my other posts for a couple of funny stories). This was back before gas pumps were all either card at the pump or prepay. It was about 7am and the morning rush was on. A suspicious fella pulled up to our farthest away pump and positioned his car so that it was not easily visible from the building. This is a dead giveaway for someone who is going to drive off without paying. My manager and I watch this guy as we are ringing up other customers and sure enough, when he filled up, he gets in the car and peels out making a run for the road. He leaves our lot via a small access rd that ends at a traffic intersection. Red light. He stops for the light, then decides he needs to get the hell out of dodge and guns it again through the red light. When he does, he breaks his drive shaft. Car coasts to a stop right in the middle of the intersection.
But wait....theres more...
Guy walks back INTO THE STORE, and asks if he can use our phone because his car breaks down! My manager says "sure, after you pay for the gas you just stole." Guy gets all indignant "I didnt steal no motherf*ckin gas!" getting more and more agitated and confrontational. Just then two police officers walk in. Now these are two lady cops, both in their late 50's early 60's that usually are stationed at the local high schools but always stop in for a coffee and a pastry. These ladies are the nicest people you'd ever meet, always with smiles on their faces. As soon as they turn the corner after entering, they see the guy getting into it with my manager. Their demeanor's changed in an instant, going from kindly grandmother to IM GOING TO KICK YOUR F*CKING TEETH IN in microseconds. They manhandle this guy away from my manager, push him up against the wall, cuff him and stuff him.
You know how you always think to yourself "Why is there never a cop around when you need one?" This time there was.
I was driving on the freeway one day and needed to get over. I checked to make sure it was clear, signaled and changed lanes. I didn't realize there was an escalade coming up behind at over 100 mph in that lane. (He was going so fast that the lane looked clear when I checked 1 second ago.)
The escalade decided to teach me a lesson by acting like it wasn't going to stop and plow into me. There were now cars on both sides of me so I couldn't swerve out of the way. So the escalade screams up until last possible second and then hits the brakes hard so he matches my speed about a foot away from my bumper. While this is happening I'm freaking out and wobbling the car cause I think I'm going to get creamed.
The cop that was one lane over and 2 cars back immediately flipped on his lights and pulled them over. That was quite a roller coaster ride of emotions for me.
The first time I tried online dating was a f*cking disaster. The guy I texted wasn't too bad looking and seemed pretty normal. Until we met in person.
We decided to meet up at a coffee shop and drink some coffee together. That's when I found out that he was the biggest redneck I've ever met. I casually mentioned that I failed at my theoretical exam for my driver's license (my depression was at it's peak during that time, so I could hardly motivate myself to do anything at all, and studying was almost impossible). So apparently this guy thinks if you want a girl to like you, you better make fun of her failing at a test. He went on joking about how women are too dumb to drive. The people from the table next to ours looked at me and I could see from their faces that they felt sorry for me, because his insulting jokes didn't stop and he said them loud enough for everyone to hear.
I had no self-confidence back then so I just mumbled some bullsh*t excuse why I had to go home, got up and left.
Like half an hour later he called me, crying, because he had crashed his car - which he mentioned earlier was his one true love and his only hobby - into a tree. Nothing had happened to him but his car was so demolished that it couldn't be repaired.
Karma For My Ears
I'm from Denmark and I used to ride the bus 50ish minutes everyday to get to and from work. One day two people got on the bus a few stops after me: a rather large woman and a smaller man, both of them greenlanders (which becomes relevant later). I'm not sure what their relationship was - may have been mother and son, may have been a couple or something else.
As mentioned, the woman is rather large so she can't quite fit in the regular seats (which honestly is fair, there's not much legspace in our busses) so instead she sits in the middle portion of the bus where there are a few seats that are usually reserved for people with disabilities.
After a few minutes of driving she for some reason just kind of starts shouting? Not sure why or what and the man with her doesn't really do anything about it. I just turn the volume of my music up a bit and ignore it.
As we get closer to the city and more people enter the bus she starts bothering a lot of the people close to her, even going as far as to shouting at a girl who was exciting the bus (again, not sure exactly what she was shouting). Finally this older lady walks up to her and asks her firmly- but politely - to please keep her voice down. Upon hearing this she just kind of flips out and screams something along the lines of: "IS IT JUST BECAUSE I'M FROM GREENLAND? YOU FUCKING RACIST!" So the older lady just kind of backs off. At this point no one really wants to do anything about the shouting woman in the bus, and the mood is a bit tense in the bus.
A few more minutes pass as people enter and exit the bus, shouting lady still doing her thing, but then a ticket inspector enters the bus. He goes down the aisle between the seats and check the tickets and when he gets to her it turns out that she has no ticket. Her and the man with her are then asked to leave the bus with the ticket inspector and surely had to pay a fine for that.
Of course I have no idea what was going on and why she was shouting, but she was bothering so many people that it was so satisfying to watch her at least having to pay a fine for not purchasing a ticket.
Karma For The BillGiphy
I often bring junk cars to a scrap processing yard and I did one of the workers there a favor and sold him a good running car for very cheap. he didn't have the extra $200 to pay so I told him it was ok and to get it to me another day. Well he went to ask his boss for an advance on his check to pay me sooner than later. (he gets by paycheck to paycheck) well his boss wasn't having it for some reason and instantly went off on him and completely humiliated him in front of everyone when he was only trying to right by me and my business. About 10 minutes later a HUGE tractor trailer misinterpreted the turn on to the scale and took out his bosses car completely tearing through the metal of his car from front to back damaging his doors fenders and mirrors and windows finally ripping his front bumper off completely. The worker I sold the car to right after says "what a shame, couldn't have happened to a nicer guy." You could see the blood boiling in his bosses face.
Karma That Would Make Macauley Culkin Proud
In 1988 when I was 8 and my brother was 10, we were flying from Florida to Arizona for the holidays by ourselves. Because we were kids flying solo, we were sat first on the plane. My bro and I are seated in the middle and window seats. A man in his 70's or so comes down the aisle and sits down in the aisle seat in our row. He hems and haws for a moment and starts aggressively pushing the stewardess call button. The stewardess comes over and he proceeds to go into a rant about how he paid good money for his seat and doesn't want to sit next to children. The stewardess asks him if we've bothered him and he says no. She tries to accommodate him by finding him another seat. He flat out refuses to move because again, he paid good money for this seat! The stewardess says "no problem, sir". It's a packed plane (holidays) so she says "Guess what kids! You're moving to first class!" The old guy starts saying "well, I'll move to first class, that's not a problem." The stewardess promptly says "no no no sir, you paid good money for this seat. You can stay right here." We moved to first class and it was tubular.
Sometimes Karma IS My Parent
That'd have to be me witnessing it with my Dad - he's wiring in a fridge and it doesn't have a fuse, so he puts a fuse in which might be too low in amps, he isn't sure what it was supposed to have in it, a fuse which predictably, blows and trips the breaker.
So, he grabs a piece of wire and uses that. Keep in mind that at this particular time I just passed an electronics and computing course, so I say to him "If that wasn't because the ampage was too low on the fuse and instead the fuse was right but something in the fridge is broken, instead of blowing a fuse it'll blow up the fridge instead because that wire won't melt like a fuse would".
Nah, he says, following by those iconic words "I know what I'm doing". I argue with him - pointing out there's a reasonable chance this thing will just blow if you turn it on, check what fuse it was supposed to have and get one of those.
He's adamant, this'll be fine he says, "I know what I'm doing".
The circuit breaker isn't too far away from the kitchen, I can see in through the door which the fridge is by if I look down the hallway.
Switch it all back on he says.
I saw the puff of smoke and flash of light from where I was stood, along with the sizeable "bang" that came from the bottom of the fridge.
Karma In A Court Of Law
This still makes me smile (something I've posted before, maybe from an old account).
When I was in university I took the bus to and from school every day (~1hr each way). The bus terminal for our suburb was at the end of my street through a path and on top of a big big hill down which you had to drive with all the other traffic to get into the city.
Get on the bus, the bus rolls up to the red light to wait for the green to pull out onto the main road.
Light turns green, bus starts to pull out. Suddenly the driver slams on the brakes, everyone lurches forward hard, and the driver lays on the horn.
As I look up I see this big ass silver Cadillac blasting through the red light. What's worse, the woman driving was this dyed-blonde-hair prissy 60s woman in a red power suit who simply flips the bus driver off without even looking and barrels down the hill.
The bus driver curses her out loud and we carry on.
Now, at the bottom of this hill the police often set up speed traps because they can catch people coming out of a curve on the road on the hill, people tend to go way over the limit in morning rush hour.
Guess who got caught?
The bus driver pulls the bus over by the speed trap and beckons a police officer who comes into the entry part of the bus. The bus driver says, "It still illegal to run red lights in this province?"
To which the cop replies, "Sure is. Did she?"
Bus driver, "Ohhh yeah."
The cop hands her his card and says, "Well here's my card, get in touch and if you're willing to come into court and testify we can tack that on as well."
And the bus driver says, "Honey. I get paid to go to court - I'll see you there."
And no joke, the whole bus erupted in applause.
We could have driven over an IED on the way to school that day and I still would have called it a good day.
Any engaged couple looks forward to the big day when after months of planning, they get to tie the knot and declare their love in front of family and friends.
What could possibly go wrong?
It turns out there are so many variables that can contribute to making the bride and groom's celebration a major matrimonial miss.
Curious to hear examples of weddings gone wrong, Redditor lolf**kno asked:
"Those who have been to a ruined wedding, what happened?"
Dramatic brawls and speeches plagued these weddings.
Catty Attendees And Booze
"Very beautiful wedding in a huge barn at this apple orchard. They must have spent a ton of money on the decorations and catering because it looked like something out of a magazine. The ceremony was great, the flower girl did her thing, the vows got everyone choked up. Everything seemed to be going well. Not even 15 minutes into the reception the mothers of the bride and groom getting into a full out brawl, hair pulling, red wine being thrown. Their sons jump in to defend their honor, chairs start being throw, tables are flipped, parents are grabbing children and running for their lives."
"The bride and groom are horrified and leave immediately and head back their honeymoon suite. My fiancé and I left after this as well but we heard from some other friends that most people ended up staying and getting wasted at the open bar on the bride and groom's dime. Apparently, the fight started because one of the groom's sister complimented the bride's grandmother's dress. The bride's mom thought she was being sarcastic and called her a b*tch, then the drama ensued. Mind you they had all been pregaming the wedding pretty hard."
Playing For The Drunk Uncle
"I played a wedding where as we started playing the set, everyone ran outside and nobody was to be seen for the rest of the night."
"I originally assumed it was because nobody liked us but the bride came in afterwards and said there was a huge fight involving multiple members of both families and everyone basically went home upset, injured or in a police van."
"We couldn't stop playing since we were payed and it was our job, and the only person watching was the drunk uncle dancing on his own asking for requests we didn't know."
Maid Of Honor Speech Goes Off The Rails
"Was a guest of friend of the bride, did not know anyone attending. Very expensive over the top place, several hundred guests of this very Italian wedding. Maid of honor grabs mic at the cocktail hour begins her speech, rambling, drunk. Quickly devolves to stating the recently deceased mother of the bride was against this wedding and that's basically what killed her. Plus Vinny will never give up sex workers. She is tackled by several people and dragged away."
"The happy couple is separated and divorced within a year."
This is what happens when bad luck crashes weddings.
Tumbling Into The Sunset
"I work at a golf course with a lot of history behind it. We do wedding venues inside the clubhouse and the actual ceremony is held outside by the historic water fountain and large pond."
"First problem was the weather. I live in the high desert and it was very warm. A solid 90 degrees that day and it was also pretty windy. So everyone's outside, no umbrellas, no ezups."
"The next problem, and probably the worst, was the golf cart incident. The bride and groom wanted to 'ride into the sunset' on one of our golf carts. Drive around a little bit on the golf course. To be fair, it is beautiful on the course during sunset. However the cart had somehow gotten a nail in the tire, tire went flat, battery on the cart went crazy and the cart ended up freaking out. It came to an complete stop from 15mph to zero. The wheels and mechanisms locked up, almost seizing. Both the bride and groom (fairly overweight mind you) both fell out and rolled over a few times. They were totally okay, just a few bruises and perhaps a bruised ego or two. So retrieving that cart was fun."
"And last but not least, the power inside the clubhouse went out to do the high winds. There was no after party available. Only the cake was cut, hardly any food was given out. Yeah, not a great day to cover for someone on your day off."
"I was not born yet, but my parents rented the observation deck on the Hancock building in Boston for their reception. Tallest building in the city, beautiful view. My dad pored over historic weather charts to figure out what day was statistically most likely to be nice out. Day of the wedding comes and of course, thick fog unlike anything they'd ever seen before. Couldn't see a thing out the windows of the room they had picked specifically for the view."
"Worked out well though, they were happily married for nearly 30 years before cancer took my dad's life a few years ago."
"There's one other funny anecdote from that wedding: The wedding was held in Kings Chapel, which is an incredibly historic church here in downtown Boston that's somewhat of a major tourist attraction. To close that on a weekend afternoon for a wedding, it turns out, was not very expensive. The tourists waiting outside to see the church didn't know that, though, and someone started the rumor that my parents were incredibly wealthy, maybe even Kennedys. As a result, there were tons of people taking photos of them when they left the ceremony. Not sure if any of them ever figured out that my parents were most certainly not rich or famous."
"I was best man at my sister in laws wedding (stepped in for the brother of the groom, that's another story entirely)."
"For a whole year of planning all the bride (SIL) wanted was a dove release while they said handwritten vows to each other. Very small, non denominational (most of the family are atheist anyway) wedding."
"Day arrives (early summer) and something is off with the bird handlers. They show up a bit late and are sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time comes to say their vows I help the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to what is to be the altar where the bride and groom are standing."
"Vows are just about wrapping up and the handler gives ME the signal to open the chest. I open it and see 20-30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE!!!! I immediately close it to try and limit who knows what happened. Too late. The look of horror on the bride's was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up but by the end of the reception the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on."
Tragic losses unfortunately befell leading up to or at a couple's nuptials.
The Wedding Guest Who Left Too Soon
"When I was 6 or 7 I went to a cousin's wedding. Everything was fabulous for little me, so much sugar everywhere, basically heaven. The reception was in a big community center that was reserved for the occasion. Went to the girls' bathroom, passing by the men's room to see my uncle on the floor. Went back to the main room to tell my dad my uncle was looking weird. Well, uncle had a stroke and had died."
"The bride spent the rest of the afternoon crying, and everyone except close family left."
"Bright side is the mariage is still going strong 20 years later, despite what happened that day."
A Terminal Diagnosis
"Leading up to my friends wedding his father had been battling cancer after a terminal diagnosis. And it was touch and go whether he would be well enough to attend the wedding, in the end he was too unwell to attend despite wishing that he could."
"Just as we got to the wedding reception my friend was informed that his father had just passed away. It was devastating."
"Happened to my classmate. He is successful middle level manager, divorced, about 35yo or so. Found a girl of his dreams but from a provincial poor town. The girl insisted to have the wedding in her town to show off her 'success.' The wedding is crashed by her old friends including male friends who are not that sophisticated and have some tense feelings towards the successful groom from the city. Somebody starts a fight in the middle of wedding, groom is trying to stop it and got stabbed in the back. Died right there. And he was my classmate."
An Unfortunate Trespassing
"The wedding was at a state park that's famous for its giant gorge/waterfall. I don't know whose idea this was, but someone suggested a photo overlooking this gorge and everybody was game. The wedding party went around a stone security barrier and the maid of honor literally fell off the cliff to her death. It was like 500+ feet."
With a lot riding on a wedding to go off without a hitch, the mounting pressure is one where something is surely to buckle.
And because wedding guests are usually inebriated and high on the buzz of celebration, they throw caution to the wind and make some choices they wouldn't make under normal circumstances.
People's ill-advised actions can have regretful consequences, but no one expects death to be an outcome.
Fortunately, the weddings I've attended or heard about from friends were not as catastrophic as the anecdotes mentioned above.
While the Redditors' stories are sorrowful, it gives me a sense of relief these devastating examples are rare occurrences.
Sometimes I think back to a teacher I had when I was a kid who demanded to know whether any of us were "raised in a barn" in response to crappy behavior. Namely littering. She hated littering. Can you blame her? It's a horrible habit and some people do it with no sense of shame. She dedicated much of her time to telling students to pick up after themselves and dispose of things properly. For that, I'm thankful.
But why didn't anyone else get the memo? The trash I see on the streets is obscene.
People had lots of thoughts to share after Redditor SneakyStriedker876 asked the online community,
"What seemingly uncivilized thing is commonplace in society?"
"We delight in the deaths of others as long as we feel it was justified. But when the reverse happens we act all high and mighty like we wouldn't engage in the same behavior."
"Slaughtering each other..."
"Slaughtering each other via warfare to solve political differences. It's standard policy worldwide."
Indeed it is. And it seems impossible to stop.
"Littering. Especially dropping cigarette butts on the ground/flicking them out the window.
The world is not your personal ashtray/garbage bin."
Every now and then I find new trash in my yard and I am constantly amazed by how nasty people can be.
"Mobbing someone because of their opinion or for a comment they made a long time ago, even if that time was yesterday."
"Xenophobia. The fact that racism and racial violence still exist is an indicator that we're still tribal primates in fancy clothes."
And it makes no sense! It's not based in reality. We are truly a tribal species.
"Shouting while arguing, refusing to listen to the opinions of others, basically the inability to debate and maintain proper communication."
"Letting people die..."
"Letting people die of curable conditions simply because they can't afford healthcare."
Probably the biggest reason why much of the Western world looks at the United States with shame in their eyes.
"Parents forcing their kids to hug family/friends despite the kid being uncomfortable doing it. They feel uncomfortable for a reason."
"During the holiday season..."
"During the holiday season, customers take products off of our online fulfillment carts. Y'all have legs. Get your own."
"Using phone speakers..."
"Using phone speakers in public. I don't care what you and your friend think about that restaurant, or how much that Spotify jam speaks to you. Nobody else wants to hear it."
We truly need to stop all of these, don't you think?
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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I love presents. I try to hide my enthusiasm, and I do my best to appease the greater public by saying "it's the thought that counts." But that is a WHOLE lie. I don't just love gifts, I love great gifts. And if you go rogue from my lists, please keep a receipt. It's just plain rude to divert from what the recipient has requested.
This thought process has emerged from experience. I have received some trash presents over the years and now I'm too old to pretend you just went crazy while shopping. Like... "do you even know me?!"
Redditor u/sulemannkhann wanted to hear all about the presents some of us have received that we prayed, came with a receipt, by asking:
What's the worst birthday gift you ever got?
Have we met? That is an actual question I asked a gift giver once. (Who shall rename nameless) Football tickets. FOOTBALL TICKETS?! Who? What? I can't.
Looks FamiliarBroad City Wow GIF by Comedy CentralGiphy
"My own scarf. Yes, that's right, my mother went into my room took my only scarf, wrapped it and gave it to me like it was a new scarf."
"Thought I was getting a bike for my 15th birthday but my foster parents announced that they were sending me to a group home after living with them for 11 years. Devastation! That place was a wake up call. More independence then at my foster home but those kids had it really really bad, 12 year old heroine addicts, abuse... what the entire hell! I hurried up, graduated from high school at 16 and got the hell out of that place. I turned out ok, work in the legal field, live in Las Vegas. I did forgive my foster parents before they died."
The Forgotten One
"My brother and I worked for a farmer one summer, and he paid us with a used car. At the end of the next year, my brother graduated high school, so my parents paid me out for my half of the car, and that was his graduation gift. I gave them all a big discount compared to what it was worth. So like $500 for my share of a $2500 car."
"2 years later, and I needed $50 for some graduation fees, so I borrowed it from my mom until I could get to the bank. (Before mobile banking and ATMs everywhere.) Later, when my mom is telling me they invited all their friends over for a 'graduation' party, I asked if they had gotten a gift for me. "Well I gave you fifty bucks."
"I paid it back the next day, and she didn't blink. The 'graduation party' was just my parents friends, who said congratulations to me, but it wasn't really for me. A few years later, my little sister graduated, she got a car. They bought a used car for her, and our other little sister got the same when she graduated. My parents are mostly nice, and I never felt like they singled me out at birthdays or anything. Just my graduation seemed like I turned invisible."
Office Party Fail
"HR complaint from two subordinates fighting over how to throw me a surprise birthday party."
"I've never worked in an office environment, but the stories I've heard of people being required to buy a cake for the whole office and to celebrate their birthday with their coworkers would be enough to keep me in blue collar work for life, were it not for the fact that I love being active and working with my hands and could never sit at a desk all day anyway."
Basicslaw school finals GIFGiphy
"My Asian mom's gift was "no extra Kumon homework after school homework" so my birthday gift was that I didn't get extra homework from her."
Regifting is trash behavior. Do better. I'd rather you just say I forgot. Or... I just don't care for that much. But regifting? No.
"Stomach flu and my first ever period, at the same time. I think it was my 13th birthday."
"Omg, exact same story for me. It was my 13th birthday and my family took us kids to visit our relatives in Subsaharan Africa for the first time. I was sick, jetlagged, overheated and riding down a bumpy road in a Jeep driven by my dad in the complete darkness. We had just eaten at a restaurant where I found a giant scarab beetle in the bottom of my soup bowl. I have flashbacks to this day."
"My grandparents have been gifting me (and my brother) the same set of three vice grips for almost 10 years. Collectively we have 60 vice grips. I don't know if they bought a pallet of them, or where they are coming from. GET A GRIP GRANDMA!"
"I had a friend who's father was famous for doing Christmas shopping at the last minute. One year she complained that she went downstairs on Christmas morning and found, sticking out of her stocking, a spatula. Her birthday was a few days after telling that story, so myself and her friends all decided to get together and get her spatulas for her birthday, as a gag gift."
"Well, when it was our birthdays she retaliated. Which lead to a counter-offensive. And soon a new tradition was formed. And guys, I have so many spatulas now. Everything from dollar store cheap plastic, to hand-carved spatulas, a golden spatula, and even a replica of the famous Malaysian fighting spatula."
"I've got seasonal spatulas. As in, today it's time to pack away the Christmas spatulas and bring out the heart-shaped Valentine's day ones, followed by the bunny-shaped Easter ones. We've also been passing around this clip from the Weird Al Yankovic movie UHF. "Spatula City, we sell spatulas, and that's all!"
Their ultimate whack-a-doo move...
"A pair of homemade custom pajamas. Only problem was that they weren't made yet. It was just the fabric and a promise to make them for me. I had to give the fabric back and I never got the pajamas."
"Nothing legal just at our wedding they gave us a card that basically said 'have some land.' When the dust settled I asked what they thought we would do with it, they said build a home. I said ok, gonna need legal ownership for like building a house. They said sure we will get right on that. Then they decide to sell out and retire and never mentioned our wedding 'gift' again."
Gross...Disgusted Steve Carell GIFGiphy
"My grandma got me a hairbrush with a plastic horse head handle. The horse head was all chipped up and there was hair in the brush."
"My Godfather sent me a Birthday card each year which said, he paid 100 bucks to a bank account which I was supposed to get, when 16yo. He then got into alcohol, used all the money and died."
Oh for God sake, why even bother giving anything at all? Lint rollers, used brushes, homemade pjs... y'all ever hear of a gift card? Just put five bucks on it and call it a day. You can't hide cheap, so stop trying.
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I'm still on the fence about this whole extraterrestrial situation. I need more proof. Now I'm not naive enough to think that in this vast, endless universe only the human race exists. I just need proof, tangible, solid, didn't see it from my trailer through beer goggles proof.
I also need proof about the afterlife, another out there topic. Truth be told, I've never been that into this whole conversation. I've got enough daily problems on this planet, let alone worrying about making Will Smith's biggest hits into documentaries and not just popcorn/comedy space farce.
But let's compare thoughts...
Redditor u/ValencikHannibal197 wanted to discuss life beyond this planet, what do we really think? They asked:
What's the best theory on UFOs or aliens you've ever heard??
I definitely wouldn't turn down an excursion to AREA 51. I'd like to poke around and get a sense of the place. I've never personally been up close and face to face with a "non-Earther." Not sure I'd like to be...
TV Truthx files monkey pee GIF by The X-FilesGiphy
"UFOs/Aliens are a cover for all of the secret projects that the government is working on. Actually stole that from the X files."
"How human birth parallels alien abductions:
- Babies are taken from their home (womb)
- They still developing sight, so they see bright lights and grey figures.
- They hear an "alien" language they don't understand.
- They suddenly feel cold after leaving their womb.
- They are in a surgery room being poked with tons of instruments.
Long story short: some people suggest that abductions are just people who had memories of their birth."
In the Mind
"I just don't think anyone will ever see this. But I think that UFO's are the projection of our unconscious collective mind. Everything that exists in reality, also exists, in our immaterial mind. Is it possible that the insides of our mind are also just one drop in the ocean of consciousness... and together we create the material reality were in, simply by experiencing it in a real way, inside-out through our senses."
"My father was an aircraft mechanic and fabricator for test and spy aircraft for the USAF. He spent 75-85 working with test aircraft. He said that when they were going to do a test, that could possibly be seen by the public, they would make a betting pool on how many UFO reports local authorities and flight towers received."
Under the Seasci-fi ufo GIFGiphy
"I like the idea that some UFOs aren't machines. Instead they are some sort of Upper-Atmosphere Jellyfish. I found the issue of Fortean Times that had this article. Here's the cover: http://ft.gjovaag.com/q/images/a/ae/FT291.jpg"
Interesting. There are some ideas we can look into. None of it proof, but possibilities. There are certainly plenty of future film ideas.
"We are like that un contacted tribe and everyone agrees not to bother us."
"I've heard it explained from a channel (idk if you know what channeling is) kinda like this. First of all, we as a species tend to freak out, shoot first and ask questions later. Most humans would have a literal psychotic break. You have to believe in vibrational energy as it relates to our consciousness."
"The aliens (certain ones) are at such a higher level that it would be jarring for us to come in close contact with. We are slowly getting there but it's a process. Like 2012, end of the Mayan calendar, wasn't the end of the world it was the end of an energy cycle that we as the human race had never made it past before."
"Previous civilizations have been destroyed or destroyed themselves before they got this far. We passed a point where we are very unlike to destroy ourselves anymore. This doesn't mean we won't see some real bad hardships yet but we will keep progressing."
"train your eyes"Dancing GIFGiphy
"I was a firm believer in t em when I was in high school and kept googling theories and info in my spare time and during my study halls. They said their bodies were so lightweight or something that the reason why you can't see the evidence is that they disintegrate before hitting the ground."
"And then LOL it was so funny, some people would swear you could "train your eyes" to see rods... HhhahAHAHAHA. Like there were these experts. Video showed him walking around with a serious face, then pointing. And he's like, "that was one just there." "You can't see them, you have to be used to them... like me."
"I've spent many years immersed into hunting them finding them. That's why I can see them." And then one day China, who loves occult stuff, had like a lab that set up a nighttime camera to capture footage of rods at night... then realized they were normal bugs at overexposure. lol"
"The Dark Forest theory. Basically the theory that the reason we haven't made contact is because all the other civilized life in the universe/galaxy knows not to broadcast their location. They've learned that there's something awful or predatory lurking in the dark forest of our galaxy, and that it's better if they keep to themselves."
"That the universe is so vast that we haven't been discovered yet."
"This makes sense to me because traversing the distance to or from even our our stellar neighbors would require technology that is not known to us now or likely to be known by us anytime soon if it's even possible at all. To assume without evidence that aliens could possess this technology and have visited us does not meet my skeptical standards."
Back and Forthback to the future great scott GIFGiphy
"Time travel exists, and UFO sightings are actually future humans coming back to our time. That is why they are so discreet, and never openly make contact."
I hope time travel exists. Now that I'm onboard for. If aliens do exist... just come on out guys. We could probably use your help.
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