When you're a kid, you'll believe anything. It's true, take a moment and think back to all the "truths" you were fed that turned out to be fiction, engineered to entertain us or keep us in line. It starts with Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy and The Easter Bunny and grows into woven tales of lunacy to stop us from asking about the birds and the bees. Don't feel bad you fell for it, it's a rite of passage.
Redditor u/samstar10 wanted to discuss what "wisdoms" we actually found ourselves being bamboozled by when asking.... What's the dumbest thing you believed as a kid?
Fingers Off.
GiphyWhen I was pretty young, probably about 5 years old, I met the black power ranger and got a picture of him signed. In the picture you could see that he was missing his middle finger and my mom told me it was because he had flipped his mom off so she cut it off. I believed it until I was about 20 years old when my mom told me she had lied about it and didn't actually know what happened. Growing up, I told so many people this guy's mom cut his finger off. MostlyLightKindaDark
Kids Some Day....
Once I was playing with some toys and my mom was talking on the phone to her friend. I guess they were talking about kids growing up and having families some day because my mom puts her hand over the phone and asked me if I wanted kids some day and if I wanted boys or girls.
I gave it some thought and said that I wanted one boy and one girl. For the longest time after this, I thought that it had been completely decided, like my mom was just on the phone with whoever you call to place an order for kids, and my order had been finalized. Bran_Solo
Belly Buttons....
When I was a kid, my mom explained to me that we all had belly buttons because that's how our moms fed us before we were born. So I thought when you got pregnant, your belly button opened up and you just put whatever you wanted to down there. Like I thought women were just shoving chicken legs in their belly buttons.
Plot twist: I'm a Postpartum nurse now. snarkyrn15
Over and Over....
That actors/tv characters would have to come back into a studio for each rerun of a show/movie. I would always be so amazed that people would have the time to go into a room with a camera multiple times a day just so I could watch them do the same thing over and over again. DaKing4001
Grandma G....
GiphyThat my Grandma G had a glass eye, and that she lost her eye in a bar fight. Nope took me until I was 20 to discover she just had a lazy eye and my dad and his brothers always told kids that story every holiday meet up.
Edit: My Grandma G has had 8 children and raised 9, she once told my cousin she'd run them through with a Broad Sword if she kept up her attitude. She introduced me to Puff the Magic Dragon when I was 8. tommyknockers26
T-Rex Issues....
You know those animatronic dinosaurs at museums?... I knew they were robots, but as a child I was convinced that the robot was unaware of its animatronic status. I believed that if the robot wanted to, it could and WOULD step over the barrier and eat me and everyone else. This fear was compounded when my dad - more than once - picked me up and pretended he would drop me down the other side of the barrier. kalewhisperer
Goodnight....
The Teachers sleep at school. Your_Favorite_Weird0
The first time I saw one of my teachers at the supermarket, I was shocked.
I must have thought the school kept them in a broom closet or something. Solensia
Gas Thief.
My step-dad had an old truck with two gas tanks that he would flip a switch to change from one to the other.
He had us convinced that he would magically steal gas from other vehicles. He would tell us to pick one and we would watch the gas dial go from E to F while driving on the highway!! Blew my mind! redeye_deadeye2005
Planted.
People don't like people that grow vegetables in their house.
I secretly celebrated my mom's poor in-house gardening skills because her tomato plants never had any tomatoes.
I was about 11 when I figured out what those tomato plants were. MyBroPoohBear
S-E-X....
GiphyThat sex was literally sleeping next to one another and making moaning sounds.
I heard things I wanna forget. Leinkugel
Don't you love a good myth?
Us too.
Let's put some of NSFW ones to the test.
RedditorWizzlyG33wanted to hear about what lies need to be exposed when it comes to sex, death and all things over the top in life. They asked:
"If MythBusters had a NSFW episode, what would you want to see on it?"
Oh Jamie
Season 1 Love GIF by OutlanderGiphy"A five second segment where Jamie points at a diagram and says, in complete deadpan, 'This is where the clitoris is.'"
TheFeelsGoodMan
"If they did such an episode, I could see this being in it for sure."
Chubby_Bub
BUSTED!
"I want them to purchase every pill they see on the internet that would make their penis bigger and see what happens."
tkepongo
"I think we can call that one BUSTED already. In what version of any world can you imagine there is a simple pill to make your junk more impressive and every dude you know doesn't already have a case of 10000 pills stashed under the bed?"
_Alternate_Throwaway
Don't Sit
"Can you actually get an STD from a toilet seat?"
BloodyChapel
"This is an interesting thing actually. It was a myth deliberately perpetuated to make people less ashamed of asking for STD tests."
leonielion
"Fun fact: There are multiple STDs that can be dormant (like inactive) for years. Like several years."
"You’d never know you had gotten it. Then something triggers it, maybe an infection or something, and then you start showing symptoms/Can now test positive. So technically a partner from years before could have given it to you and you either think your SO is cheating or haven’t been with anybody in a long time. Either way it’s scary when you think about it."
DesperateMango1731
After Death
"Does a person really stay conscious for a few moments after beheading?"
SammyGotStache
"There was a French physician who tested this in the early 1900s. After a criminal was beheaded he picked up the head and shouted the criminal's name. The guy opened his eyes and made eye contact with the physician over a period of 30 seconds whenever his name was called. Edit: I provided the source in other comments but here it is on the original comment."
UnadulteratedWalking
Theories
looking down homer simpson GIFGiphy"Size correlates to what? Feet? Nose? So many theories."
throwxxawayxx10977
"I have size 12 feet and a massive nose and huge hands and the little guy is small."
FireTrickle
Oh the lies and the rumors and the shade.
More is More
Seth Meyers Dancing GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"They did prove that women with larger breasts will get more tips. Which isn’t really not safe for work, because Kari literally was working at a coffee shop."
Unsettleingpresence
"If breast enlargements will help your job would you be able to write them off on your taxes?"
Mr3k
Deep Down
"How deep underwater are you still able to orgasm?"
Successful_Present39
"Pretty sure there's no lower limit. When you're underwater, your body is under pressure, but for the most part doesn't actually get compressed. Only your air spaces (lungs, sinuses, inner ears) are really subject to compression from ambient water pressure. There can be painful exceptions like air pockets inside a tooth filling, which I do not recommend experiencing."
"Most of your body is water or various solids, which push back on the ambient water pressure. You prostate shouldn't be blocked by water pressure any more than your bladder is. Source: am old scuba diver, I've done all kinds of things a hundred feet underwater. At that depth the ambient pressure is 4 bar, which in olden-tymes units is nearly 60 pounds per square inch. Also: fish do it underwater, doesn't seem to stop them."
UlrichZauber
Tasting Men
"Does pineapple make your semen taste better?"
TMNT4lyfe
Keep Thinking
"Post orgasm clarity: How much better can you solve puzzles or remember something?"
texanaftdy
"Well, recently I did a lot of reaction time tests on humanbenchmark.com and while normally I get average of around 140-145, after a good O I consistently got around 130-135, very often getting single clicks close to 120 which almost never happens in other cases. And it's weird because I feel more tired but apparently my reaction time improves for some reason."
berni2905
Safety First
Safety Helmet GIF by Just SecondsGiphy"A take on the top ten OSHA violations list to see if they are as dangerous as they say."
Mariuxpunk007
"Safety regulations are written in blood."
GegenscheinZ
Well that is a ton of great suggestions. Let's work on it.
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Make the most with what makes you happy
"I've learned to enjoy my own company and focus on my hobbies."
"Funny enough, this gives me stuff to talk about when I am around people."
Voices in the background
"Listening to people talk on YouTube so I feel less alone in my house."
Millions of friends, just one click away.
"Chat with random people on Reddit."
internet computer GIFGiphyStill figuring it out
"I don't I'm f*cking miserable."- Savathunh
"I don't :("- __MashedPotatoes__·
Get my body movin'
"Working out."
"It makes me feel better about myself and I have something to do alone."- DerpBread69
Gym Working Out GIF by Chance The RapperGiphyWho says I need to?
"I love solitude."- Befuddled_GenXer
solitude GIFHit the snooze button
"Sleep 12+ hours a day."- RockandRoll682
Instant tension and relief
"Lots of arguing online about sh*t I don't care about at all, just to have some form of social interaction, and get off at least 3 times a day."-
There are very few worse feelings than that of being alone.
But it's also quite remarkable how much doing something that makes you happy, be it ever so simple, can elevate your feelings.
I feel like the list will be longer than we expect. We are still behind in certain ways.
lazy...
Bubble Gum Cartoon GIFGiphy"People sticking gum on random surfaces instead of at least throwing it towards the trash can a few feet away."
iesharael
How is this allowed?
"'Convenience' fees to pay bills online."
Rude_Yam_9962
"Yeah or any 'additional fee' that’s required to buy the product or service. Advertise $100 but then at check out they add in service fee $25, convenience fee $10."
"Always at the last second too, usually right before you enter your credit card info. Wtf? How is this allowed? Just advertise $135 if that’s the price the customer is paying. Should not be allowed to bait a low price and switch with a higher one once the customer is already invested."
Can you hear me now?
"Not being able to get cell service is spots in my own home."
Haunting_Spot_8002
"A friend worked in Africa building homes for the people. He said there were bush men with spears and loin cloths with a cell phone clipped on the side. Middle of nowhere yet reception everywhere."
RedLeader7
"Most of Africa skipped land lines altogether and went straight to mobile. In the west, cell phones and mobile internet are a luxury, in less developed regions it's often the only way to communicate."
pixelbart
System Collapse
"Companies that create problems and sell solutions instead of solving existing problems."
draconic_oxalis
"This was the inevitable outcome of an economic system in which only those doing labor are allowed to have food and shelter, yet technology is constantly reducing the amount of labor that is actually necessary."
"We only get money for food if we are seen to be working on problems. Now we're having a shortage of actual problems so we must make artificial ones to keep surviving. If only we had UBI, all of these pointless industries would disappear overnight as no one wants to keep working these jobs they know are pointless."
snapwillow
Hang Up
Call Me Hello GIF by IDKGiphy"Spam calls."
mstrss9
"I literally had spammers somehow dupe the phone number of my local council, it's scary just how close they can get."
Hazbro29
I HATE these SPAM calls. All hours of the day and night. I hate you!
Speed Up
Internet Mouse GIF by kotutohumGiphy"Slow internet."
Necessary_Rule_8485
"We figured it out. Just that the companies are greedy and keep the money for themselves instead of upgrading infrastructure."
Unlucky_Clover
Paper Trail
"Junk mail."
furryShambler
"I know! Whatever happened with the Paperwork Reduction Act?"
Julie-Andrews
"in the U.S. you can reduce your junk mail a lot by going to.DMAChoice.org and OptOutPrescreen.com and filling out the forms for your address. I have reduced my junk mail by about 90% : FTC source"
FSMFan_2pt0
car-centric
"Having to spend 3 hours in traffic everyday."
CampaignAlternative3
"Because North American cities have over restrictive zoning laws that segregate cities based on type of usage and they build to a very low density and with car-centric development that makes it so everyone has to use a car to get anywhere."
houndog129
"It's not so easy to just 'find a job closer to home' for example I'll search on Indeed and the closest job in my line of work is like 2hrs away."
PhatShadow
It's Round
"Flat Earthers."
da_sylent
"So everything but earth Is round right? (according to flat Earthers) So as some members say it's like a frisbee in space. What if, bear with me... the reason the world will end is because a giant dog will catch us and kill everyone on earth by shaking the frisbee too much and cause floods and crap. Because if so, that's how I wanna die, letting a pupper have some fun with a fisbee."
viber223
Gross
understand john boehner GIFGiphy"Child beauty pageants."
Heliouse66
"If I see a mother make her child do one of those, I WILL judge her."
EarwaxWizard
Can we work on eradicating these things? It's all well past expired.
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There is always a good way to ask questions. I don't mind many of them.
I'm Out
coming out gay GIF by AT&T Hello LabGiphy"What should I say to someone who comes out to me? Saying 'um, OK' or 'that's nice' sounds like I'm dismissing them but trying to ask questions or engage in conversation about it seems intrusive."
KaleidoscopeOk1749
"It depends, your response should match their excitement. People that casually weave it into conversation usually don't want confetti and vice versa."
Ok_Objective6181
So Many Letters
"I know you guys want to be inclusive and all but I always feel behind on all The letters you add to LGBT, so is it fine I just say 'LGBT+?' This is not meant to not be inclusive, I'm all for LGBT+. But sometimes it gets a bit too many letters for me personally. So will I offend you guys if I only say LGBT+?"
Riufu
"Lol all the labels I identify with are included in the + and I just say LGBT. I don’t know anybody who has been upset over hearing the shortened version. You’re good to keep using the acronym that you already say."
cas47
I Don't Get It...
"What does non-binary mean? I'm from Italy and I've never met someone who came out as non-binary or even transgender. My brother met a guy once and he (my brother) said he looked gender-fluid. Gender-fluid Is the only term used here, nobody talks about non-binary."
"I know that non-binary means that you don't identify with one gender specifically (I guess), but I really really don't get it. I'm bisexual (although I've never gotten in a relationship with a woman) so I always felt like I could relate to most people of the community in one way or another."
"But this is just something I can't seem to understand, also because I've never met someone like that. I know I might never be able to get it because I'm cisgender, but I was wondering if some of you would like to take some time to share their experiences with me so that I can understand you a little bit more."
Basyl_01
Nuances
"I know I can look up the definition of it, but why is 'queer' part of the acronym? Doesn't it encompass 'lesbian' and 'gay?' Is there a nuance I'm missing?"
Ok-Ninja1040
"One of the unintended benefits of the term 'queer' is that it's a good way of saying 'Not straight, and it's not really important for you to know why or how.'"
-CoreyJ-
Hello There
Art Peeing GIF by badblueprintsGiphy"Is it ok to use adjacent urinals/talk at the urinals if you two are dating/ married?"
CashmeoutsidePearl
So far, nothing here seems offensive.
You Like It?
Fab 5 Netflix GIF by Queer EyeGiphy"I wanna ask them every time an LGBTQ+ character appears in fiction, if they felt it was a good representation or not."
NoStressAccount
Pleasure Principles
"Do asexual people not want sex/don't feel horny, but still get butterflies in their stomach for a person they like? Or does that mean they don't have crushes/attraction in any form?"
skootch_ginalola
"Each person is different but a lot of asexual people still have crushes and can still be in love with people. Asexual people can be in happy and healthy relationships."
"Some asexual people might still find pleasure in sexual activities but they might not focus on sex in life. Not all asexuals are sex repulsed. But some are. There is asexuality and people who are aromantic. Aromantic people don’t feel romantic attraction to people, but might feel sexual attraction. Some people are both asexual and aromantic."
ArcherE14
Chosen at Birth
"Why is intersex included when it's a physiological/chromosomal variation and not a sexual/gender orientation? Sorry if I worded it wrong."
Fluffy-Ad342
"Intersex people often have their gender chosen by their parents at birth and so tend to have experiences very similar to trans people. Often it even has to be corrected later in life with surgeries and hormones. It's the variation from the normal binary gender/presentation of that, which aligns them with the queer community in most cases."
Yaboijustlikesgoats
Identities...
"For non binary folk: I'm having trouble wording what I want to ask, like, why I guess? I identify as a woman but don't fit in with the typical stereotypes or gender roles, but I still consider myself a woman. I don't feel like activities, or behaviors, or clothing or whatever has to have a gender to it, so why specify that you don't identify as man or woman? Idk maybe because it's not something I've struggled with, it's hard to wrap my head around! Either way, I 100% support anyone who identifies any way!"
meowing_cat93
Extra
Gay Hearts GIFGiphy"Do you have to pay an upgrade fee to go from the LGBTQ membership to the LGBTQ+?"
ticklemejesus420
"Omg dude, you can get it for free with Amazon Prime! You didn't know?"
Araskog
I Like You
"How do you know you are attracted to the same sex? I personally wanted to know this because I am struggling with my sexuality. I have an attraction to men at least as far as I know. But I am constantly going back and forth with women. And it's been very confusing. So I guess it may be how do you know if you're attracted to anyone?"
Plush_Orchid
Ask all you want. Just be respectful. It's easy...
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