People Share Share Their Embarrassing Childhood Moments That Are Now Hilarious
I'm about to be 36 years old, and my high school friends still tease me about "the ramp incident" that happened in ninth grade. I used to want to crawl in a hole and die when they brought it up, but looking back on it now, I can admit it was probably hilarious. Long story short, I managed to fall down a large ramp because I thought strappy 90's heels were a great thing to wear to school when I had literally never worn heels before.
But whatever, I was already the youngest person in the school since I had skipped a grade and I wanted to be 90's cute so that I could be "cool." Strappy heels, a long skirt, and butterfly clips were the order of the day. Things did not go well. Not only did *I* fall, but since it was a large ramp and happened during class change at a crowded school, my short, stout,12-year-old self managed to take down several (like at least 2 dozen) students with me in a horrific human bowling/domino disaster. This ramp happened to dump into the very crowded cafeteria. The laughter of terribly hormonally awful high-school students still haunts my soul today.
One Reddit user, who apparently feels my pain, wanted to know about the memories we have of things that were terrible in the moment, but in retrospect are kind of hilarious. Here are some of the responses that left me cringing, cackling, and overall just feeling a little bit better about myself. Obviously, they've been edited for language or clarity where needed.
Not The Right Answer
One time when I was in 7th grade math class, the teacher asked a question that I actually knew the answer to, so when he asked the class which of us knew the answer, I enthusiastically shot my hand up. He didn't call on me. However, the girl he did call on got it wrong, so when he asked the rest of the class who could give the correct answer, I not only threw my hand up this time with even more fervor than the first attempt, but I accompanied it with a deal-sealing "I know!" as well.
This time he did call on me, and just as I went to triumphantly announce the proof of my mathematical prowess...I sneezed, the force of which caused me to blast the loudest fart I had ever produced in my theretofore young life.
As I turned 12 shades of crimson in the mortified embarrassment that only a 13 year-old kid who just farted in front of roomful of other merciless 13 year-old kids could feel, and said roomful of vengeful little bastards already roaring in laughter at me, my shame was only further deepened when the teacher, stifling himself from bursting out fits of laughter as well, confirmed to me and the rest of the class, "That's not the right answer either!"
Ruining Childhoods
This didn't happen in my childhood, but I'm pretty sure I ruined a few childhoods. I very briefly worked as a princess at childrens' birthday parties. Snow White, Cinderella, standard stuff. One day dispatch called me and told me I'd be playing Hello Kitty at a party. I didn't even know that was an option! But okay, fine. I go to pick up the costume and it's this giant fuzzy suit with a steel hula-hoop in the middle keeping it round and a giant head with some mesh in the mouth that I can barely see out of. This was going to be a long hour...
So I get to the party and it's outside in this family's backyard. I do all my schtick - face painting, balloon animals, magic tricks, but there's still about 15 mins left to kill so I ask the kids if they want to play a game. The kids have some random made-up game where you throw a ball and tag the tree and run back to a certain point or whatever, so I say fine, let's play.
Now, what I couldn't tell from the poor vision out of the mesh costume head was that the yard we were in was situated at the top of a very steep hill. I went to catch a ball and suddenly everything was spinning. I was rolling (the hula hoop kept it's shape, so my feet never touched the ground, I rolled like a giant fuzzy ball) down the hill. The giant head flew off and I landed at the bottom in a giant bush. I could see tiny heads peering over the side of the hill. Finally I heard a mom yell:
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah..."
"Do you need some help?"
"...Yeah."
It took three dads to roll me back up the hill because my center of gravity in this giant ball wouldn't allow me to climb back up this massive vertical hill. The head was dented, there were twigs sticking out of it. Half the kids were laughing, the other half were sobbing. I walked straight through the kitchen and out the front door without bothering to say I was leaving and see if I'd get a tip. I wanted to leave so badly I attempted to get into my Saturn with the suit still on, but that wasn't going to happen. I had to change awkwardly behind my car and left as quickly as possible.
Horrifying at the time. Thankfully this was pre-smart phones so it wasn't all over YouTube the next day. Although now I think I'd like to see it, it's pretty hilarious in retrospect.
A Little Tree
5th grade graduation:
I was selected to present some award to one of my teachers. No one told me anything about it, explained what would happen, etc. Apparently there was a meeting with all of the kids who were giving awards, but I was never invited to it. The kids were told there was some sentence to go up and say, and hand the teacher a certificate. I didn't know that, so day-of I get called first, and I really confusedly stood up.
They had said something about how these potted little trees at the front of the room were part of the award in the preface, so in the absolute silence of that room I meekly walked to one of the trees, picked it up - pot and all, and carried it onstage to the teacher at the podium. The stage was set up so that I had to go all the way to one side, up a short set of stairs, and back to the center. It was a long walk.
When I finally arrived at the podium, I put the tree down and a little dirt spilled out. The teacher standing at the podium finally mercifully broke the silence after another few seconds, hugged me and said something about her award being hand delivered, and I went back and sat down. Assumedly beet red.
"Shh Watch This"
Was walking down the hallway talking to my crush when suddenly I had to fart.
For some stupid reason, my 10 year old self thought it would be a good idea to interrupt her, stand in front of her, say "Shhhh, watch this" and fart.
Except it wasn't a fart. That's right. I interrupted my crush, got her attention, and then pooped my pants right in front of her, and then ran off in embarrassment and shame.
When i was in 6th grade, I won the class spelling bee. I knew it wasn't a big deal because I knew no one cares how good of a speller anyone is. But I was a poor student overall and I had a subdued pride that I had won. I was excited that I would get to go on to the school-wide spelling bee with an opportunity to showcase before the whole school that I was good at something
My second word was 'plaid'. When it was given to me, it just sounded like a nonsense syllable. I just shrugged and figured it was probably the past-tense of 'plod' and rattled off my assumed spelling without thinking
It took a split-second. I was standing there before a catholic school assembly, half of whose students were wearing plaid jumpers. The meaning of the word clicked the very moment I had repeated the word, and the scope and ridiculousness of my error crashed into me instantaneously. My eyes went wide as dinner-plates, and I positively screamed in incredulous, self-loathing outrage. It was like this:
"Your word is 'plaid"
"Plad, P-L-A-D, pladNOOOOOO"
Then I kind of dramatically half-crumbled, writhing around while still standing, kind of a knees-bent, hunched-over posture, and tearing at my hair with both fists. I slunk off to the sides, the first person eliminated, and struggled to hold back tears, still showcased before the entire school as I was
My sister still gives me shit about it when we're having a jokey disagreement about anything as a go-to argument-finisher, "F*ck you, spell 'plaid' whydon'tcha"
Michael
One time in 8th grade PreAlgebra, my favorite teacher was talking about triangles. She said,
"You have to square the legs. Michael! What did I just say??"
Michael who is a perpetually sleepy soul, always half-listening replies:
"Uhmh. I dunno. Something about spreading the legs?"
There were no survivors.
Oh Sweet Jesus!
I got bitten on my arm by a brown recluse while I was sleeping. Woke up with what looked like an infected ingrown hair that quickly became a gaping hole of rotting black flesh. At the worst of it, you could see a small, half-centimeter spot of my bone.
Whatever, that's just background details for context.
So here I am with my parents standing in line at Wal-mart with a big white bandage around my arm hiding the gore underneath. I'm out of the woods and on the mend, but it's still hideous to see. A lady is standing behind us in line and spots my bandage. For some reason, she wants to know what happened. I give her a smile and say I got bit by a spider. She made a "yeesh" face and said she hoped it got better soon.
Me, with a shit eating grin: "wanna see it??"
Her: "Oh, uh, no that's fine. You should keep it-OH SWEET JESUS!!"
I didn't wait for her answer and just whipped it out. The lady was so grossed out by my disgusting rotting spider bite that she ended up vomiting in the aisle. She got it on my shoes, some of the random knickknacks they keep on shelving at check out, and all over the floor. Then, I, being weak in the stomach in those days, threw up, too. It was the smell that got me.
It was awful.
Today, I know that all happened because 12yo me was a trouble maker and brought it upon herself. It's hilarious now remembering this 40 or 50ish year old lady yelling "OH SWEET JESUS!"
Self Cleaning Toilet
I was 7 years old, on a stay cation with my family in Cornwall, England. It was a beautiful summers day. My brother and I were desperate for the bathroom, after walking around for what seemed like like forever we found a toilet block which you had to pay 20 pence to enter.
There was a line of people as this was the only bathroom around the nearby area. My brother goes in and does his business and then holds the door for me on the way out. I went in and sat down on the toilet, but this was far from a moment of relief...
The lights flickered frantically, the toilet (which I was sat on) started to move into the wall, cleaning products sprayed vigorously throughout the whole room, jetting out from the walls. In my panicked state, bare arse in the floor, I began screaming. I finally got out of the bathroom drenched from head to toe, looked distraught at all of the other people that had been lining up outside.
Everyone found this hilarious except for me. This was my 'Nam, you weren't there man... You weren't there.
I really wish my brother didn't hold the door as these toilets were self cleaning, which we clearly found out.
- JoJoNezy
Enough To Mummify A Komodo Dragon
In 5th grade, I walked into Mrs. Buffalo's social studies class from the bathroom with toilet paper pinched inthe back of abercromie jeans, unbeknownst to me. Before I had a chance to sit down, my friend pulled out enough toilet paper to mummify a komodo dragon while the class roared.
As I type this now, I'm surprised I wasn't mocked for that beyond that moment. Probably because some other kid farted soon after. Still my go-to "most embarrassing" moment during drinking games.
Intercepted Hug
Freshman year of college I was sitting in the stands to watch a soccer game at my university. A cute girl from my dorm walks up the stairs with her parents and looks over at me and smiles and says "hey!" and starts walking over with her arms out like she wants to hug. I was kind of surprised because I didn't know her that well, but I stood up and said hi and hugged her.
When we make physical contact she kind of stutters and says "oh, uh, hey," and then lets go of me and hugs the girl who was sitting next to me. Turns out she was going to hug her roommate, who I was sitting next to, and I intercepted it. It was about 100x more embarrassing than waving back at someone not waving to you, but I crack up every time I think about it now!
H/T: Reddit
All of us have fears which some might call irrational.
Up to and including ghosts, witches, monsters.
But more often than not, reality can be far scarier than the supernatural.
And there are very few people indeed who don't have a memory of a moment when they were truly and genuinely scared.
And not by an otherworldly encounter, but by things that could quite literally happen to anyone.
Redditor GodhimselfUwU was curious to hear the scariest experiences people have lived through, leading them to ask:
"What’s the scariest non-supernatural thing that ever happened to you?"
Intruder
"I was 14, alone at my grandmas house around midnight."
"She was across the street at the bar she owned."
"I was playing games on her computer, about 15 feet from one of the windows facing the backyard."
"All of a sudden the glass from that window shatters, and I ran to one of the bedrooms."
"I can hear my name being called."
"Eventually I see my grandma's ex-boyfriend enter the living room where the computer is."
"He keeps saying my name."
"I’m scared sh*tless, but I walk out and confront him."
"He says my grandma stole his ID and that’s what he came for, as he’s taking money from my grandmas purse."
"He looks f*cked up on something."
"I forget how he leaves but when he does I call the bar and people come over looking for him."
"They didn’t find him."
"About a year later he did it again, and I was once again alone there."
"Except this time instead of breaking a window he decides to try to kick the side door in."
"I’m just there chilling when out of nowhere I hear the loudest bangs coming from the side of the house and I instantly knew what was happening."
"I immediately called the bar and they sent a bunch of people over before he could make it in."
"He apparently tried to jump from one of her sheds into the alley next to her house and broke his leg."
"He went to prison."- nfreshn
They're coming right for us!
"Two bison charging right toward me down a narrow wooded path in Yellowstone when I was 12."- pcc2
Uncomfortable in new surroundings.
"My sister has mental health issues."
"We were in a foreign country, driving across mountains on a one lane dirt road with no guardrails."
"She had a complete mental breakdown and threatened many times to drive off the edge."
"To this day, my mom swears my sister wouldn't have done it."
"All I say is, 'you weren't in the car'."
"'You have no idea'."- BlorengeJulius
Lost in the woods.
"Getting lost on 350 acres of woods in southeast Georgia."
"Was found about 6 hours later."
The dog found me hours before the people did.- No_Regrats_42
A near death experience.
"Was working as a linemen tasked to replace a 16m wooden power pole which requires climbing up to untie the lines from the isolators."
"I checked if the pole had any rot beforehand, climbed up, untied the lines, climbed down, as I was packing my tools up , the pole fell from its own."- LimaRadek
He wasn't who he claimed to be.
"A man claiming to be a meter reader was in our yard and tried the back door AFTER trying the front."
"It was unlocked because there was a field behind us and our gate had a lock, that he somehow got by."
"The meter reader man was nearly eaten by our Great Dane who was dumb and peaceful, except for when she laid eyes on him."
"Our other dog also wanted to kill him and he was up on our trampoline begging us to call the dogs off, which we, my then 11 year old sister and I, refused to do and went to get our dad, who worked from home."
"The guy escaped while we got our dad and my dad let the police know what happened."
"The real meter reader man came the next week."- Applesintheorchard
Had no idea what they were witnessing.
"I guess watching a loved one have a seizure when I didn’t understand what it was."
"Legit thought I witnessed a death."
"Scary stuff."- Peppapigisgodly
Always look both ways.
"I got hit by a car while in a crosswalk a few months back."
"Had a split second where I saw him coming and realized what was about to happen."
"I thought I was going to die."- jolalolalulu
Big Sister to the Rescue.
"Saved my sisters life."
"We were boating and my parents just kinda assumed we’d be ok with them only out a couple hundred feet."
"I was about 17 and she was about 7."
"I’m laying there chilling and see her slip and fall into the water and just straight up sink."
"Ran over, dove in and pulled her to shore."
"She spit up a bunch of water and was fine but that experience rocked me to my core."
"Not a super crazy story but almost seeing a sibling die has always stuck with me."
"I’ve broken almost every bone in my body, I died one time and was in a coma for a little bit but for some reason this one stuck with me."- Present-Trip5231
Often, an experience that left us scared does make for a good story down the line.
Though whether it was a good enough story to make having gone through the experience worth it, is debatable.
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Having to work for a living is hard work.
Some jobs come with difficulty and two extra sides of stress.
So the last thing people need is unwarranted hate.
I'm so glad I work from home. Writing alone.
I have issues with me, but that I can deal with.
I do hate internet issues.
But that is warranted.
Redditor PM_ME_URFOOD wanted to talk about the jobs where a ridiculous amount of vitriol is all part of a days work. They asked:
"What profession gets an unjustified amount of hate?"
Waiting tables was always the bane of my existence. Customers are rude. Staff is rude. It never ends.
Filthy Hours
"Trash men. They’re looked down on as dirty and uneducated, but they do a hard job that is absolutely critical to our public health."
kirkl3s
You're Out!
"Youth sports officials. I umpire baseball as a hobby and the way parents act is deplorable."
kennsing75
"The parents on the other hand deserve loads of hate sometimes. I was a coach for soccer and volleyball while I was in the Air Force. You would have loved to be a sports official for our leagues at our base. If a parent got sh**ty they are immediately ejected, no questions, and reported to whoever is their higher authority. It almost never happened."
DaniTheLovebug
Behind the Counter
"Any customer (client/patient) facing job. They get the abuse that stems from managements decisions, mistakes and incompetence."
HighlyOffensive10
"I did customer service for automotive companies at a call center for years. People get so unhinged, between dealerships, management, people calling into the wrong department, angry customers who were itching for a fight over a rental car. The job paid for five free therapy sessions a year, but honestly, it would take every ounce of restraint not to break some days."
"You aren't allowed to defend yourself or hang up, you can't transfer them to supervisors for a call, you technically work for a third party company that exists to keep the customer from ever actually speaking to the corporation. It was the worst job I've ever had, and that's coming from someone who used to work at a seafood processing plant."
Bromelia_and_Bismuth
I'm Hungry
"Food service. The workers have to eat too, you know."
stinky_cheese33
"Working fast food sucked. Not because the job was hard. But because people were *icks. For like, no reason. Working in an actual kitchen also sucked. Not because the work was hard, but because you never did it quick enough and your boss was a *ick for like no reason. But at least you didn't deal with customers."
thedankbank1021
Too much stress...
"Defense attorneys. People hate them because they defend violent criminals. However, as one lawyer put it, their job is not just to defend these people; their job is also to make sure that the cops did their job correctly."
TomoyoHoshijiro
I've always wondered about defense attorneys. How do they reconcile their morals?
They're Smart Too
"I live in Germany and currently in my (hopefully) last semester of university to become a pharmacist (4 years of university, one practical year and three exams of state required). A lot of people here think pharmacists are only cashiers and don’t know we get a scientific education. And God help me if I question a doctor's decision."
this_is_lune
Hard Hours
"I usually just lurk as a guest, but I made a Reddit account just for this. Cooks for public schools. They are constantly overworked, underpaid, and disrespected. Most schools have only a few ovens and microwaves, so school chefs have to either jam unsafe amounts of frozen food into ovens and microwaves, which is a giant fire hazard, or work non-stop from early morning."
Clingitty
Green Thumbed
"Plant breeders and plant geneticists. Imagine you're a plant nerd and you spend your life studying genetics so you can figure out how to improve food crops. Like, to make them yield more, taste better, be healthier, survive drought, etc. But on the internet, you're apparently trying to poison the world and control the food supply."
kjhvm
Heartless
"Veterinarians. My doctors CONSTANTLY get yelled at or called heartless when, for instance, we refer them to a hospital more suited to care for the animal than us. Like bro we didn't just tell you know we are giving you options and trying to ensure you seek the proper care. Don't call me a heartless b**tard for that crap."
Zfullz
No Fun Involved
"Janitors. Trash-related work. Sewage workers. Plumbing."'
SubiWhale
I feel for everyone in these jobs. They deserve better.
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Short of having a shopping addiction, no one actually likes spending money on stuff.
Why would you ever willingly give it away? It's your money!
Which might be why it feels so bad when you have to spend money of something that should be free from the beginning. People/ corporations are going to chase that cheddar, though, so there's little you can do besides complain, which frankly might be the best thing the internet is for.
Reddit user, woodside37, wanted to know what we should never have to pay for again when they asked:
"What should be free?"
Let's get these out of the way first...No, let's get this first one out of the way first.
Hidden fees are the worst.
Hidden. F***ing. Fees.
"Transaction/processing fees when you order a digital product online. Such as a concert ticket, where you pay 6 euro extra while you pay online, and have to print the ticket yourself."
rickmitchel
"Or processing fees to pay bills that you need. Duke energy charges a $7 processing fee for you to pay your energy bill. Like wtf."
CrispyCrunchyPoptart
Pay To Pee
"Public bathrooms! The amount of human piles of poop around because the homeless have no where to relieve themselves!"
AuntyMarcy
"Live in a very tourist-y part of the U.K., all public toilets charge and most cafes/pubs/libraries won’t let people use their toilets. As someone who lives here year round it’s really frustrating and doesn’t seem to make sense."
JonesNewport83
Want A Better Society? Educate Them.
"College. Or at the very least, college APPLICATIONS. If you're gonna require it for most careers, atleast make it accessible for people. And I just think it's stupid that people have to pay to get rejected."
callmeventibcimavent
"Oh god I hate that so much. Same with applying to apartments it’s such a waste of money if you don’t get approved. It racks up quickly too."
Kydra96
It does feel grimy when "official documentation" that is "mandatory" has to be bought and paid for not by the people requiring it, but by the people needing it.
Forcing Us To Pay For Something We're Forced To Have
"ID cards issued by the government. Especially since you need them for almost every aspect of daily living."
waqasnaseem07
"I. Exist."
"Birth certificates"
alexchico3
"I'm not the biggest fan of free stuf but having to pay for a piece of paper that says "I exist" is ridiculous."
Spaghetti-Evan1991
It'll never not feel bad having to pay for something we expect to be free, but it feels ten times worse when it's something you need to get by in life. As in, need to live.
Let's All Agree To Take Care Of Each Other
"All base needs up to a level. I mean stuff we need to survive, eg. power, water,... and things we are required to use to be relevant in daily life internet,..."
"Seeing how now power companies are fuel companies are having THE biggest profit in years while more and more families are pushed into bigger and bigger deths just to get by."
"Same goes for internet tbh, poor kids are just not getting by in school becasue they lack the basic stuff every other kid has to get further in life. I am not saying they need the fastest possible internet with unlimited dl, but give them so they can work for school so the vicious cycle can be broken."
Amelsander
We Need It More Than Anyone
"All mental health services. If you don’t have benefits or a VERY good paying job, they are unaffordable for how often most people really need them. At $120-160/ session even once a week is not affordable for most people these days"
pennylayne77
A Fine Line Between Need And Want
"Water"
selfishnerd77
"Drinking water, sure. But water is an expendable resource and it should honestly be more restricted when we think about cases like people watering their lawns."
I_Am_Become_Dream
Paying To Live
"Insulin. People are dying because of greedy pharmaceutical companies."
Astronimus123
"But We're 'Pro-Life'" - Jerks
"Birth control of all kinds."
"For anyone who b*tches about spending taxpayer money, I'd ask whether it costs more to provide condoms or to house prisoners."
AlexReynard
"Giving birth (In the us)"
z0k0n
"As a female US citizen the more I learn about the whole giving birth sh*t the less I want kids. My friend just had a baby, there were some complications. She is now paying off a 14k hospital bill! The lowest I have hears is 8k. 8k just to have a f-cking kid! For a country that is gung-ho about forcing women to have kids they have missed the mark completely."
Main-Yogurtcloset-82
Everyone is looking for their payout, and unfortunately sometimes we're the ones who have to give it to them, whether it makes sense or not.
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The worst part of having breasts is Florida.
I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is Hardio
"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
- [Reddit]
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
- notanotherbreach
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
- k_g94
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
-[Reddit]
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
- PoiLethe
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
- J09Lynn
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
- wheredMyArmourGo
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
- Pauliester
Growing Pains
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
- Individual_Ad_7523
Two Volcanos
"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
- Queen-of-meme
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
- Local_Masterpiece_
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
- PleasuredMeatStick
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
- LuckyBugHarley
Technological Advancements
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
- IAmNotLookingatYou
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
- Object_Prize
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
- AbbyNormalKnits
Double Trouble
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
- BigBunsLittleBunbun
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
- cryptic-coyote
"Exactly!"
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
- APD2269
Expensive
"They're expensive."
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
- SailorSpoon11
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
- insertcaffeine
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
- kaytay3000
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
- letsjumpintheocean
Getting Comfortable
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
- ChadweenaThundervag
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
- Skkaj225
"Am guy."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
- DeluxeWafer
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
- Miikami
Either Or
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
- batchofbetterbutter
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
- octokisu
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
- didithedragon
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
- Peter_the_pear
Attempted Murder
"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
- Outrageous-Proof4630
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
- lil_ho_on_da_prairie
It's Constant
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
- Plus_Bison_7091
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
- zapsquad
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
- gentlybeepingheart
Destroyed
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
- Originalluff
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
- I_love_pillows
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
- Rozeline
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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