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People Who Killed In Self-Defense Reveal How They Handled The Aftermath

Self-defense is one of those still nebulous areas of law that varies from state to state. And that's because it can go terribly, horribly wrong, like the dad who did not aim before he fired a shotgun at an intruder... or so he thought.

GeneralDoubt asked: [SERIOUS]Redditors who have killed someone in self-defense. How did you handle the aftermath of what you did?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


10. One of those 'good guy with a gun' stories.

My son shot a burglar after the man lunged at him with a baseball bat. I might have died that night if my son wasn't there.

EDIT (forgot the aftermath):He was upset for a long time, since the man had a wife and four kids. He wished he could've attended the funeral to give his condolences to the family.

Turns out he thought I was some woman that robbed his wallet earlier but he messed up addresses.

wicked_candles

9. Excessive force or human nature?

My old boss's cousin had a guy kick in his front door while the family was asleep real late at night, he grabbed his pistol from his nightstand and went to confront the guy, he had a large knife and charged the cousin who fired 13 rounds of 9mm into the guy who obviously died.

He was arrested and charged with something crazy, I want to say manslaughter but I don't think that's right but it wasn't murder of any degree but the prosecutor basically stated that he went too far and used way to much force or some b.s. and the only thing that saved him was that the ballistics report showed that the guy was on his feet for every single bullet that hit him and was high on PCP.

So he whatever the charges were, were dropped but he had to pay a fine for discharging a weapon in city limits and then pay the sheriffs department $500 to get his gun back the whole ordeal lasted about 8 years it took place in Tucson Arizona on the Tohono Indian reservation.

TheCarnanator

It's weird how people who haven't been in a dangerous situation think people react calmly. That doesn't happen. Most people go full panic mode.

DarkestFlame777

Exactly. So many people talk a good game or do the I would have been billy bad @ss if I was in that situation when in reality if you haven't been specifically trained to remain calm under extreme stress or danger you probably won't handle it as well as you imagine.

TheCarnanator

8. If I had shot someone at 15, it woulda messed me tf up.

A friend of mine shot (but not killed, although he bled a lot) someone who got inside his house. He is 15 and was home alone. He just was a little nervous after he did it but did not have a major reaction.

UF1912

7. Fred is good. Be like Fred.

TL:DR at bottom

it wasn't me but my dad's cousin was telling me a story when we visited him.

My family used to live in chicago and my dad and his side of the family lived in the city. Fred (my dad's cousin) stayed there for a while before moving to Hawaii to carry on his deceased dads business.

One day Fred was walking home and he saw the girl that lived next to him outside crying. He asked her what was wrong and she said her boyfriend had been beating her.

Fred's birthday was in a few days and so he decided to ask her if she had ever been on an actual date. She said no so he told her he'd take her out to a nice restaurant in a couple days.

They went out and had fun but when they got back and he was dropping her off her boyfriend punched him in the face. Fred fought back and he said it was partly due to the booze that he was able to fight this dude off until he ran off. They called the cops and they really didn't do sh*t.

They told the cops to stay because they thought he was gonna come back but they left anyway. Fred went into her house with her for a bit to make sure she was safe.

Sure enough a little bit later they hear something in the bedroom and the boyfriend climbed in through the window. Fred ran to the kitchen to grab a knife while the boyfriend chased her down the stairs.

When Fred caught up with them he was banging her head on the ground so Fred stabbed him (I don't remember where).

The dude got up and they started fighting again while the girl ran up the stairs and locked them in the basement.

The boyfriend was trying to knock down the door and kicked fred down the stairs a couple times while he was trying ot stop him. Eventually the boyfriend broke through the door and started beating her again.

Fred's a gun enthusiast and even though it was illegal in Chicago at the time he had a pistol. He pulled out his gun and told him to stop but instead of stopping the boyfriend, Fred charged him.

He shot him twice in the chest and one bullet bounced off his belt buckel and went into the wall.

The cops arrested him and took his gun, they tried to arrest him for attempted murder (he didn't actually kill him just stabbed and shot him).

They dropped the charges the same night because he saved this girls life and he got to go home. He lost his gun but he didn't get arrested, there were more details but this story is long af already.

TL:DR fred helps out girl with abusive boyfriend and when abusive boyfriend gets mad he saves himself and the girl after the cops do jack sh*t.

crackpipewizard1214

6. All war is a crime.

I'm still sort of dealing with it. Every day that goes by it gets a little further away but there are days it hits me. Days I see myself holding him in my lap. I still cry those days.

oithematt

Are you comfortable with telling us what happened?

Decstarplayz

Sure why not.

I was on patrol with my squad in Iraq (first deployment, very green) and we set up a check point.

I was on the ground in front of the Hwmmv as lookout on our side and my best friend was the .50 cal gunner in the truck.

I saw headlight coming towards us. It was pitch black so I took out my mag light and flashed at it to slow down......it did not.

I waited as long as I could and had to fire. Aimed center mass of the driver window....unfortunately not all cars in Iraq are left hand drive. When I fired my gunner fired too and the car flew past us and into a ditch.

When we ran up to the car we saw it was two of the newly recruited Iraqi police one was fine....untouched through the hail of gunfire. The passenger though, where I was aiming was hit in the head and his brain was swelling out of his skull.

I'd never shot anyone before so I freaked out and held him in my lap until he died. Turns out he was the police chief's son.

I went through an investigation and was found that I did everything right....sure doesn't feel like it though. I can't remember his face anymore but I sure do see his lifeless body just laying on me.

oithematt

5. Check your targets.

A family in my grandparent's neighborhood had a few people break into their home. The dad held the 1st armed intruder at gunpoint at the front door.

He asked the intruder if he was alone and the guy said no, to which the dad heard a sound behind him. The dad whipped around and fired.

It was his son coming to back him up. He pumped him square in the chest with a 12 guage. This is why you always check your targets people.

The kid died on scene. The robbers left. And the dad was left devastated. My grandparents don't like talking about it since they knew the family so my knowledge is limited. But I'm pretty sure the dad ended up commiting suicide.

Always have a family plan Incase of a break in. Tell people to hide themselves or stay in their rooms. Always check your targets. Don't repeat this tragedy.

SaltedBiscuitTV

4. In the coldest of blood.

My dad's friend, used to be on WW: Steve Hay, stone cold killer. Steve Hay loved to fight, loved it more than anything, it got him kicked out of the WW, not to mention he was a terrifying person.

Anyways, Steve had recently been broken up with by his girlfriend so he went to a bar she was at to talk to her about it, and the bartender thought he was harassing her.

Bartender attacked Steve with a knife, i don't remember what kind. Steve turned the knife on him and killed him.

It was not the first time he's done serious damage. In Portland, Maine in like the 80's a bunch of people were trying to get gangs going.

One was in order to get in, you have to jump a body builder. My dad was one at the time and he had heard from other cops who worked out at their rat gym that if they saw a bunch of 4 little Asian guys, to watch behind you because they'd tabletop you and kick your nuts off.

My dad's a big guy with huge legs, 23 inches on his calf and 28 on his thigh and that's with him being 57 right now. So when this happened my dad just let it happen but as they started walking towards him, he turned around and booted the kid behind him and the rest scurried off.

Steve Hay did much worse in a similar situation except nobody knows what really happened, other than the fact all 4 of em were sent off to the emergency room in ambulances

epicgodchess

3. No shame in it.

I ran.

HaveGunsWillShoot

Name does not check out.

HardcoreHybrid

Not back then it didn't. This happened years ago before I had purchased my first pistol. To clarify, some tweaker tried to rob me on the street.

The guy was so far gone that he didn't realise that I had a 14 inch bowie knife on my side. He swung at me when i refused to give him my wallet, and I proceeded to duck under his punch, unsheath my knife, and turn him into a "f*cking ka-bob."

It was at that point that I didn't wish to remain around to wait for the authorities. Ergo, I ran.

HaveGunsWillShoot

2. Ahh we see what you did there.

Slept like a f*cking baby as it was either them or me... I would imagine.

mylifebelieveitornot'

So you never killed anyone.

NoLogicBot

1. Something doesn't add up.

I knew a guy who killed a guy for stealing his TV and only did 3 years cause he was a Vet who helped his platoon servive in the desert by eating stray dogs or something.

He was sort of a friend but I told him he should still be in prison . It's very wrong to KILL someone in response for stealing or even breaking and entering.

That's not the same as self defense and never should be mixed up with it. I had a friend barely over 18 who killed truly inself defense and went to prison and was very messed up over if met the guys mom in court and apologized she forgave him and everything but it was ruled excessive force cause he stabbed the guy multiple times. I get that. Sad for everyone.

J-Banana-Bear

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.