If you know someone's secret, by it's own definition, it's no longer a secret. So, wouldn't that mean the rest of the world can already know this piece of information? Thankfully, the internet is more than willing to provide outlets for people to log-on and divulge the one tidbit they imagined they would have died before sharing.
Reddit user, u/Raliuus, wanted to know what the secrets already out there when they asked:
Not Who They Think
Two of my cousins were conceived via sperm donor.
They think their dad is their biological father and they are adults now.
What I Do With My Own Money Is My Own Business
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I'm rich as f-ck.
Family thinks I'm not doing well and I want to keep it that way, as soon as they hear anything about money they come and leech it away and use it for drugs and sh-t. I dont live fancy, I bought a nice one bedroom apartment where I live with my 2 cats, Peanut and Pipsqueek. I have a nice computer and a normal car. I just save my money or donate it to random charities every now and then.
Just Be Honest?
A friend who is outwardly happily married pulled me aside before the wedding, at which I was a groomsman, to have a word. I thought he was just having cold feet, so I rather jocularly told asked him if staring down the barrel of a life sentence had got him looking for the door.
Well, he got extremely serious and said that I was right, because he's gay and can't ever truly love his soon-to-be wife the way he should. This was a confident, swaggering dude who I thought would punch a lion in the face if it looked at him the wrong way. The kind of dude who conveys with his posture that he means business, and his business is being awesome. I always thought of him as the man with a plan, who never got flustered and always had the right answer to our silly problems. And here he was in front of me, quaking and filled with terror because he knew that he had gotten himself into a real jam by being dishonest with himself and those he cared about. I hated it. It was like watching my dad get beat up.
My advice was to be honest with his fiancee, and to talk to her before the ceremony about it. That no one would blame him, that this happens, and that while it was painful now he would be respected in the long term for being upfront and preventing further hurt. He left me saying that he would do so.
He came back 30 minutes later pale and sweaty, and told us all the ceremony was still on. It was, and they got married and we all toasted their future while he shot me pained looks all night long–looks that gradually faded the more he drank and lost himself in the celebration.
They've been married for 5 years, and have a kid. They look happy. I hope they are. It's not for me to say anything, but I will be there for both of them when he spills the beans.
"Lost To Dementia"
My mother told me, and only me, about the fact that my dad cheated on her years ago. He traveled for his job and one day a letter came addressed to him that was mangled. My mother would never open mail or pry, but this letter started with "Dearest love" - she could only see it because the mail sorter had ripped it.
I don't know the full details, as my mom did not share them all. I don't know why she decided to tell me and not my other 4 siblings. She said she decided to stay with dad because she had 5 children and didn't think she could make it alone. She loves him still at age 83, but did also say about 20 years ago that she should never have stayed with him and should have left him after the first baby. I love both my parents and my family, so I will never share this. It will go to her grave with her as she probably no longer remembers it - lost to dementia as are so many of her memories. Dad takes care of her to the best of his ability and they still live together. Mom still has her house she loves.
One I've Never Known
My mother only told me when I was an adult, that I had an older half-brother who was given up for adoption.
I grew up with the identity of being the eldest sibling, and she asked me not to tell my other siblings. We had a very stable and loving childhood, but it's odd to view things through that lens and wonder who this person is. I now carry that weight (guilt?), because I'm torn between honoring her wish, and feeling like I'm deceiving my own siblings. What would you do?
How Often Does This Happen?
We may have intentionally sabotaged an asset worth more money than everyone that reads this thread's lifetime income combined, because it was malfunctioning and the contractor refused to acknowledge it needed replacement. We forced the issue.
They replaced it.
Guessing military crap.
I used to be one of the contractors.
Sabotage was such a common way to get upgrades I suspect it's damn near taught.
Want the computers replaced but you aren't due for 3 more years? No worries, ensure the pc is on, whip out the angle grinder and start grinding whatever metal crap you can find in front of the air intake.
Weird. Whole rack is dead. No idea how that happened... Guess it's time for a full refit....
We all knew. We just didn't care.
Haven't Done That Since I Was A Baby
When I was a teenager, I got really drunk and my friend dared me to take a sh-t in someone's front garden. I did. Months later my mother moved into the house and the sh-t was still in the garden, she went mad about people not cleaning up after their dogs.
My mother cleaned my sh-t out of her garden.
A Batch Of Letters For The Ages
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I know what my grandmother tossed into the well in her back yard before it was boarded up.
It was a box of "love letters" she discovered - written by my grandfather's girlfriend. (Since she never knew of his affair, I think it broke her heart. Part of her went down that well with those letters.)
She Was Already Gone
There's part of me that's always felt so guilty about this, but the other part of me thinks that I did the right thing. When my mother-in-law was in hospice and dying, we had gotten the call that her last rights were being read to her and we should come because it was very close. The family gathered in her room, my father in law(her husband of 42 years) had been by her side and hadn't left for days. We were there for hours, my sister in laws had to take there kids home at some point, so they had left and it was just my husband, me, and my FIL left.
The nurses were saying that they might have spoken to soon because she was still hanging on, it was awful to watch. My FIL looked ragged and tired and he said he was just going to go to the other floor for a cup of coffee, my husband went with him. I said I would call if something changed but he was only going to be gone for 15 minutes maybe. About 5 minutes after they left my MIL really started to have very labored breathing, I called the nurse to see what was happening and by the time she came to the room (maybe 2 minutes) she had past.
I asked the nurse to wait for me to get my FIL and husband back to the room to pronounce her dead. They rushed back and my FIL held her and after a minute the nurse and doctor pronounced. My FIL believes he made it back to the room and was holding her while she left this life, I have never told him or my husband. Only me and that sweet nurse know she was already gone. I have debated telling my husband this but he's always said he was comforted by watching his dad hold his mom when she died.
I know I will never tell my FIL this, when he talks about her he always mentions how he was there for that moment and I don't want to take that away from him. It would crush him. Part of me thinks she waited for everyone to leave the room so they didn't have to actually see her go, she was always worried about everybody else. I've never told anyone.
In fact, some mistakes are so astronomical that they're remembered for decades afterwards, leaving the one who made the mistake a legacy of being a dumba**. Here are a few of them!!!
U/ronjans24 asked: What was the biggest mistake in human history?
Some may argue that the existence of the Universe was a mistake. I disagree. It was clearly Zayn leaving One Direction. But these next few were pretty bad too.
If you do the math, this is also the reason why Hentai exists.
I'll say the wrong turn Franz Ferdinand's driver made that went right in front of Gavrilo Princip.
EDIT: yes I'm aware war may still have broken out even if Franz Ferdinand wasn't assassinated
Imagine you're Gavrilo Princip. The assassination plot you and your friends had been cooking up for about the last year or so has been a complete and total disaster, just a monumental f*ck-up of the highest degree. You're staked out at this deli thinking maybe, just maybe the car will pass by, and by some stroke of sheer luck, it does.
If you're Princip, this is nothing short of serendipity.
Petition to return to the ocean.
Ocean Surf GIFGiphy"Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans."
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams
This was, in fact, a monumental mistake.
Sears not beating Amazon to the punch.
Blockbuster not buying Netflix.
You thought THOSE were bad? Well gear up for their next few, because they are 100% accurate. Except the one about Cats, that movie slaps.
I don’t know sports, but sure.
Seahawks not running it.
I used to wear a Seahawks jersey whenever I took a test because I knew I would pass when I shouldn't.
CATS is great, y'all are just boring.
GiphyThe Emoji Movie.
That live action movie about Cats is also up there.
Very fair point.
Social Media.
Humans are not wired to have that many social interactions and maintain that many relationships. Plus the echochambers it allows people to create for themselves, no matter how conspiratorial or vile their beliefs, means that stupid/evil people are no longer shunned into changing their mind.
Not sure it was worth being able to see what a celebrity had for lunch or what new "dance" your younger cousin and her tween friends are doing.
But in all seriousness, some horrible things may now have happened if the right thing was halted at the right time.
Washington called it.
George Washington Disney GIF by Hamilton: An American MusicalGiphyVoting for people based on what side of the political spectrum they're on. George Washington himself advised against political parties because he thought they would cause too much division in this country. Unfortunately for everyone, he was right.
Big oops on that one.
Barack Obama mocking Donald Trump at the Correspondents Dinner might have led directly to his 2016 run....
"Now, I know that he's taken some flak lately, but no one is happier, no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than The Donald," Obama said. "And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter — like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?"
Then he turned serious: "But all kidding aside, obviously, we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience. For example — no, seriously, just recently, in an episode of 'Celebrity Apprentice' — at the steakhouse, the men's cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks. And there was a lot of blame to go around. But you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. And so ultimately, you didn't blame Lil Jon or Meatloaf. You fired Gary Busey. And these are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night. Well handled, sir. Well handled."
This is the best Star Wars and no one can change my mind.
I'll take 'Star Wars Christmas Special' for $100.
That atrocious pile of manure gave us Boba Fett, so without the Christmas Special there won't be The Mandalorian.
Wow, in this article, I openly admitted my love for Cats AND The Star Wars Holiday Special. So maybe my existence was the biggest mistake of all.
ANYWAY, I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you all feel a little bit better about yourself. Because when push comes to shove, at least you didn't accidentally start World War I